cb.imajica1-第26节

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ys。　Mostly　bad　lately。　I　am；　as　my　ma　used　to　say；　not　long　for　this　world。〃　He　glanced　up。　〃Look　out；　here　es　Saint　Clemence　of　the　Bedpan。　Change　the　subject。　Clem；　did　Judy　tell　you　somebody　tried　to　kill　her？〃
　〃No。　Where　was　this？〃
　〃In　Manhattan。〃
　〃A　mugger？〃
　〃No。〃
　〃Not　someone　you　knew？〃　Taylor　said。
　Now　she　was　on　the　point　of　telling　the　whole　thing；　and　she　wasn't　sure　she　wanted　to。　But　Taylor　had　an　anticipatory　gleam　in　his　eye；　and　she　couldn't　bear　to　disappoint　him。　She　began；　her　account　punctuated　by　exclamations　of　delighted　incredulity　from　Taylor；　and　she　found　herself　rising　to　her　audience　as　though　this　story　were　not　the　grim　truth　but　a　preposterous　fiction。　Only　once　did　she　lose　her　momentum；　when　she　mentioned　Gentle's　name；　and　Clem　broke　in　to　say　that　he'd　been　invited　tonight。　Her　heart　tripped　and　took　a　beat　to　get　back　into。its　rhythm。
　〃Tell　the　rest；〃　Taylor　was　exhorting　her。　〃What　happened？〃
　She　went　on　with　her　story；　but　now；　with　her　back　to　the　door；　she　found　herself　wondering　every　moment　if　he　was　stepping　through　it。　Her　distraction　took　its　toll　on　the　narrative。　But　then　perhaps　a　tale　about　murder　told　by　the　prey　was　bound　to　predictability。　She　wrapped　it　up　with　undue　haste。
　〃The　point　is；　I'm　alive；〃　she　said。　〃I'll　drink　to　that；〃　Taylor　replied；　passing　his　unsipped　Virgin　Mary　back　to　Clem。　〃Maybe　just　a　splash　of　vodka？〃　he　pleaded。　〃I'll　take　the　consequences。〃
　Clem　made　a　reluctant　shrug　and；　claiming　Jude's　empty　glass；　wended　his　way　back　through　the　crowd　to　the　drinks　table；　giving　Jude　an　excuse　for　turning　around　and　scanning　the　room。　Half　a　dozen　new　faces　had　appeared　since　she'd　sat　down。　Gentle　was　not　among　them。
　〃Looking　for　Mr。　Right？〃　Taylor　said。　〃He's　not　here　yet。〃
　She　looked　back　to　meet　his　amusement。
　〃I　don't　know　who　you're　talking　about；〃　she　said。
　〃Mr。　Zacharias。〃
〃What's　so　funny？〃
　〃You　and　him。　The　most　talked…about　affair　of　the　last　decade。　You　know；　when　you　mention　him；　your　voice　changes。　It　gets…〃
　〃Venomous。〃
　〃Breathy。　Yearning。〃
　〃I　don't　yearn　for　Gentle。〃
　〃My　mistake；〃　he　said　archly。　〃Was　he　good　in　bed？〃
　〃I've　had　better。〃
　〃You　want　to　know　something　I　never　told　anybody？〃
　He　leaned　forward；　the　smile　being　more　pained。　She　thought　it　was　his　aching　body　that　brought　the　frown　to　his　brow；　until　she　heard　his　words。
　〃I　was　in　love　with　Gentle　from　the　moment　I　met　him。　I　tried　everything　to　get　him　into　bed。　Got　him　drunk。　Got　him　high。　Nothing　worked。　But　I　kept　at　him；　and　about　six　years　ago…〃
　Clem　appeared　at　this　juncture；　supplying　Taylor　and　Jude　with　replenished　glasses　before　heading　off　to　wele　a　fresh　influx　of　guests。
　〃You　slept　with　Gentle？〃　Jude　said。
　〃Not　exactly。　I　mean；　I　sort　of　talked　him　into　letting　me　give　him　a　blow　job。　He　was　very　high。　Grinning　that　grin　of　his。　I　used　to　worship　that　grin。　So　there　I　am；〃　Taylor　went　on；　as　lascivious　as　he'd　ever　been　when　recounting　his　conquests；　〃trying　to　get　him　hard；　and　he　starts　。　。　。　I　don't　know　how　to　explain　this　。　。　。　I　suppose　he　began　speaking　in　tongues。　He　was　lying　back　on　my　bed　with　his　trousers　around　his　ankles；　and　he　just　started　to　talk　in　some　other　language。　Nothing　vaguely　recognizable。　It　wasn't　Spanish。　It　wasn't　French。　I　don't　know　what　it　was。　And　you　know　what？　I　lost　my　hard…on；　and　he　got　one。〃　He　laughed　uproariously；　but　not　for　long。　The　laugh　went　from　his　face；　as　he　began　again。　〃You　know；　I　was　a　little　afraid　of　him　suddenly。　I　was　actually　afraid。　I　couldn't　finish　what　I'd　started。　I　got　up　and　left　him　to　it；　lying　there　with　his　dick　sticking　up；　speaking　in　tongues。〃　He　claimed　her　drink　from　her　hand　and　took　a　throatful。　The　memory　had　clearly　shaken　him。　There　was　a　mottled　rash　on　his　neck；　and　his　eyes　were　glistening。
　〃Did　you　ever　hear　anything　like　that　from　him？〃　She　shook　her　head。　〃I　only　ask　because　I　know　you　broke　up　very　quickly。　I　wondered　if　he'd　freaked　you　out　for　some　reason。〃
　〃No。　He　just　fucked　around　too　much。〃
　Taylor　made　a　nonmittal　grunt；　then　said；　〃I　get　these　night　sweats　now；　you　know；　and　I　have　to　get　up　sometimes　at　three　in　the　morning　and　let　Clem　change　the　sheets。　I　don't　know　whether　I'm　awake　or　asleep　half　the　time。　And　all　kinds　of　memories　are　ing　back　to　me。　Things　I　haven't　thought　about　in　years。　One　of　them　was　that。　I　can　hear　him；　when　I'm　standing　there　in　a　pool　of　sweat。　Hear　him　talking　like　he's　possessed。〃
　〃And　you　don't　like　it？〃
　〃I　don't　know；〃　he　said。　〃Memories　mean　different　things　to　me　now。　I　dream　about　my　mother；　and　it's　like　I　want　to　crawl　back　into　her　and　be　born　all　over　again。　I　dream　about　Gentle；　and　I　wonder　why　I　let　all　these　mysteries　in　my　life　go。　Things　it's　too　late　to　solve　now。　Being　in　love。　Speaking　in　tongues。　It's　all　one　in　the　end。　I　haven't　understood　any　of　it。〃　He　shook　his　head　and　shook　down　tears　at　the　same　time。　〃I'm　sorry；〃　he　said。　〃I　always　get　maudlin　at　Christmas。　Will　you　fetch　Clem　for　me？　I　need　the　bathroom。〃
　〃Can't　I　help？〃
　〃There's　some　things　I　still　need　Clem　for。　Thanks　anyway。〃
　〃No　problem。〃
　〃And　for　listening。〃
　She　threaded　her　way　to　where　Clem　was　chatting　and　discreetly　informed　him　of　Taylor's　request。
　〃You　know　Simone；　don't　you？〃　Clem　said　by　way　of　an　exit；　and　left　Jude　to　talk。
　She　did　indeed　know　Simone；　though　not　well；　and　after　the　conversation　she'd　just　had　with　Taylor；　she　found　it　difficult　to　whip　up　a　social　souffle。　But　Simone　was　almost　flirtatiously　excessive　in　her　responses；　unleashing　a　gurgling　laugh　at　the　merest　hint　of　a　cue　and　fingering　her　neck　as　though　to　mark　the　places　she　wanted　kissed。　Jude　was　silently　rehearsing　a　polite　refusal　when　she　caught　Si…mone's　glance；　ill　concealed　in　a　particularly　extravagant　laugh；　flitting　towards　somebody　elsewhere　in　the　crowd。　Irritated　to　be　cast　as　a　stooge　for　the　woman's　vamping；　she　said；　〃Who　is　he？〃
　〃Who's　who？〃　Simone　said；　flustered　and　blushing。　〃Oh；　I'm　sorry。　It's　just　some　man　who　keeps　staring　at　me。〃
　Her　gaze　went　back　to　her　admirer；　and　as　it　did　so　Jude　was　seized　by　the　utter　certainty　that　if　she　were　to　turn　now　it　would　be　Gentle's　stare　she　intercepted。　He　was　here；　and　up　to　his　stale　old　tricks；　threading　himself　a　little　string　of　gazes；　ready　to　pluck　the　prettiest　when　he　tired　of　the　game。
　〃Why　don't　you　just　go　near　and　talk　to　him；〃　she　said。
　〃I　don't　know　if　I　should。〃
　〃You　can　always　change　your　mind　if　a　better　offer　es　along。〃
　〃Maybe　I　will；〃　Simone　said；　and　without　making　any　further　attempt　at　conversation　she　took　her　laugh　elsewhere。
　Jude　fought　the　temptation　to　follow　her　progress　for　fully　two　seconds；　then　glanced　around。　Simone's　wooer　was　standing　beside　the　Christmas　tree；　smiling　a　wele　at　his　object　of　desire　as　she　breasted　her　way　through　the　crowd　towards　him。　It　wasn't　Gentle　after　all；　but　a　man　she　thought　she　remembered　as　Taylor's　brother。　Oddly　relieved；　and　irritated　at　herself　for　being　so；　she　headed　towards　the　drinks　table　for　a　refill；　then　wandered　out　into　the　hallway　in　search　of　some　cooler　air。　There　was　a　cellist　on　the　half　landing；　playing　In　the　Bleak　Midwinter；　the　melody　and　the　instrument　it　was　being　played　upon　bining　to　melancholy　effect。　The　front　door　stood　open；　and　the　air　through　it　raised　goose　bumps。　She　went　to　close　it；　only　to　have　one　of　the　other　listeners　discreetly　whisper；　〃There's　somebody　being　sick　out　there。〃
　She　glanced　into　the　street。　There　was　indeed　somebody　sitting　on　the　edge　of　the　pavement；　in　the　posture　of　one　resigned　to　the　dictates　of　his　belly：　head　down；　elbows　on　his　knees；　waiting　for　the　next　surge。　Perhaps　she　made　a　sound。　Perhaps　he　simply　felt　her　gaze　on　him。　He　raised　his　head　and　looked　around。
　〃Gentle；　What　are　you　doing　out　here？〃
　〃What　does　it　look　like？〃　He　hadn't　looked　too　pretty　last　time　she'd　seen　him；　but　he　looked　a　damn　sight　worse　now：　haggard；　unshaven；　and　waxy　with　nausea。
　〃There's　a　bathroom　in　the　house。〃
　〃There's　a　wheelchair　up　there；〃　Gentle　said；　with　an　almost　superstitious　look。　〃I'd　prefer　to　be　sick　out　here。〃
　He　wiped　his　mouth　with　the　back　of　his　hand。　It　was　virtually　covered　in　paint。　So　was　the　other；　she　now　saw；　and　his　trousers；　and　his　shirt。
　〃You've　been　busy。〃
　He　misunderstood。　〃I　shouldn't　have　drunk　anything；〃　he　said。
　〃Do　you　want　me　to　get　you　some　water？〃
　〃No；　thanks。　I'm　going　home。　Will　you　say　goodbye　to　Taylor　and　Clem　for　me？　I　can't　face　going　back　in。　I'll　disgrace　myself。〃　He　got　to　his　feet；　stumbling　a　little。　〃We　don't　seem　to　meet　under　very　pleasant　circumstances；　do　we？〃　he　said。
　〃I　think　I　should　drive　you　home。　You'll　either　kill　yourself　or　somebody　else。〃
　〃It's　all　right；〃　he　said；　raising　his　painted　hands。　〃The　roads　are　empty。　I'll　be　fine。〃　He　started　to　rummage　in　his　pocket　for　his　car　keys。
　〃You　saved　my　life；　let　me　return　the　favor。〃
　He　looked　up　at　her；　his　eyelids　drooping。　〃Maybe　it　wouldn't　be　such　a　bad　idea。〃
　She　went　back　inside　to　say　farewell　on　behalf　of　herself　and　Gentle。　Taylor　was　back　in　his　chair。　She　caught　sight　of　him　before　he　saw　her。　He　was　staring　into　middle　dist