ch.nativetongue-第69节

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　With　a　slapping　of　many　oversized　feet；　the　actor…elves　scurried　toward　the　slack　figure　of　Moe　Strickland；　who　was　awake　but　in　considerable　pain。　Jeremiah…Dumpling　lifted　Moe's　bloody　head　and　said；　〃This　is　the　guy　we　told　you　about。　The　one　in　the　dumpster。〃
　Skink　bent　down　and　said；　〃Pleased　to　meet　you；　Uncle　Ely。　I　think　your　buddies　better　get　you　to　the　vet。〃
　
　Charles　Chelsea　tested　the　door　to　Francis　X。　Kingsbury's　office　and　found　it　locked。　He　tapped　lightly　but　received　no　reply。
　〃I　know　he's　in　there；〃　Chelsea　said。
　Danny　Pogue　said；　〃Allow　us。〃　He　produced　a　small　screwdriver　and　easily　popped　the　doorjamb。
　〃Like　ridin〃　a　bicycle；〃　said　Bud　Schwartz。
　From　inside　the　raccoon　costume　came　a　hollow　mand。　The　others　stood　back　while　Joe　Winder　opened　the　door。　Upon　viewing　the　scene；　he　clapped　his　paws　and　said：　〃Perfect。〃
　Francis　X。　Kingsbury　was　energetically　fondling　himself　in　front　of　a　television　set。　On　the　screen；　a　dark　young　man　in　a　torn　soccer　jersey　was　copulating　with　a　wild…haired　brunette　woman；　who　was　moaning　encouragement　in　Spanish。　Other　video　cassettes　were　fanned　out　like　a　poker　hand　on　the　desk。
　Kingsbury　halted　mid…pump　and　wheeled　to　confront　the　intruders。　The　boxer　shorts　around　his　ankles　greatly　diminished　his　ability　to　menace。　Today's　hairpiece　was　a　silver　Kenny　Rogers　model。
　〃Get　out；〃　Kingsbury　snarled。　He　fumbled　for　the　remote　control　and　turned　off　the　VCR。　He　seemed　unaware　that　the　Amazing　Kingdom's　stalwart　mascot；　Robbie　Raccoon；　was　pointing　a　loaded　semi…automatic　at　him。　Joe　Winder　tucked　the　gun　under　one　arm　while　he　unzipped　his　head　and　removed　it。
　〃So　you're　alive；〃　Kingsbury　hissed。　〃I　had　a　feeling；　goddammit。〃
　Bud　Schwartz　laughed　and　pointed　at　Kingsbury；　who　shielded　his　receding　genitals。　The　burglar　said；　〃The　asshole's　wearing　golf　shoes！〃
　〃For　traction；〃　Joe　Winder　theorized。
　Charles　Chelsea　looked　disgusted。　Danny　Pogue　tossed　a　package　on　the　desk。　〃Here；〃　he　said　to　Kingsbury；　〃even　though　you　tried　to　kill　us。〃
　〃What's　this？〃
　〃The　files　we　swiped。　Ramex；　Gotti；　it's　all　there。〃
　Kingsbury　was　confused。　Why　would　they　return　the　files　now？　Bud　Schwartz　read　his　expression　and　said；　〃You　were　right。　It　was　out　of　our　league。〃
　Which　was　baloney。　The　true　reason　for　returning　the　files　was　to　ensure　that　no　one　would　e　searching　for　them　later。　Like　the　police　or　the　FBI。
　〃I　suppose　you　want；　what；　a　great　big　thank…you　or　some　such　goddamn　thing。〃　Francis　X。　Kingsbury　tugged　the　boxer　shorts　high　on　his　gelatinous　waist。
　The　indignity　of　the　moment　finally　had　sunk　in。　〃Get　out　or　I'm　calling　Security！〃
　〃You've　got　no　Security；〃　Winder　informed　him。
　〃Charlie？〃
　〃I'm　afraid　that's　right；　sir。　I'll　explain　later。〃
　Bud　Schwartz　said　to　his　partner；　〃This　is　pathetic。　Let's　go。〃
　〃Wait。〃　Danny　Pogue　stepped　up　to　Kingsbury　and　said：　〃Beating　up　an　old　lady；　what's　the　matter　with　you？〃
　〃What　the　hell　do　you　care。〃　By　now　Kingsbury　had　more　or　less　focused　on　Joe　Winder's　gun；　so　he　spoke　to　Danny　Pogue　without　looking　at　him。　〃That　fucking　Pedro；　he　gets　carried　away。　Not　a　damn　thing　I　can　do。〃
　〃She's　a　sick　old　woman；　for　Chrissake。〃
　〃What's　your　point；　Jethro？〃
　〃My　point　is　this；〃　said　Danny　Pogue；　and　ferociously　punched　Francis　Kingsbury　on　the　chin。　Kingsbury's　golf　cleats　snagged　on　the　carpet　as　he　toppled。
　Surveying　the　messy　scene；　Charles　Chelsea　felt　refreshingly　detached。　He　truly　didn't　care　anymore。　Outside；　a　roar　of　thousands　swept　the　Amazing　Kingdom；　followed　by　gay　cheers　and　applause。　Chelsea　went　to　the　window　and　parted　the　blinds。　〃What　do　you　know；〃　he　said。　〃Our　five…millionth　customer　just　walked　through　the　gate。〃
　With　gray　hands　Kingsbury　clutched　the　corner　of　the　desk　and　pulled　himself　to　his　feet。　In　this　fashion　he　was　also　able　to　depress　a　concealed　alarm　button　that　rang　in　the　Security　Office。
　But　Schwartz　said；　〃We'll　be　saying　good…bye　now。〃　
　〃You're　wele　to　stay；〃　offered　Joe　Winder。
　〃No　thanks。〃　Danny　Pogue　examined　his　knuckles　for　bruises　and　abrasions。　He　said；　〃Molly's　having　surgery　this　afternoon。　We　promised　to　be　at　the　hospital。〃
　〃I　understand；〃　Winder　said。　〃You　guys　want　to　take　anything？〃　He　motioned　with　his　gun　paw　around　the　lavish　office。　〃The　VCR？　Some　tapes？　How　about　a　cellular　phone　for　the　car？〃
　〃The　phone　might　be　good；〃　said　Danny　Pogue。　〃What'd　you　think；　Bud？　You　could　call　your　little　boy　from　the　road；　wouldn't　that　be　cool？〃
　〃Let's　roll；〃　Bud　Schwartz　said。
　Later　they　were　driving　on　Card　Sound　Road；　halfway　back　to　the　mainland；　when　Bud　Schwartz　motioned　with　a　thumb　and　said：　〃Right　about　here's　where　it　all　started；　Danny。　Me　throwin〃　that　damn　rat　in　the　convertible。〃
　〃It　was　a　vole；〃　said　Danny　Pogue。　〃A　blue…tongued　mango　vole。　Microtus　mango。　That's　the　Latin　name。〃
　Bud　Schwartz　laughed。　〃Whatever　you　say。〃　There　was　no　denying　he　was　impressed。　How　many　burglars　knew　Latin？
　A　few　more　miles　down　the　road；　Danny　Pogue　again　brought　up　the　topic　of　portable　phones。　〃If　we　had　us　one　right　now；　we　could　call　the　hospital　and　see　how　she's　doin'。〃
　〃You　know　the　problem　with　cellulars；〃　said　Bud　Schwartz。
　〃The　reception？〃
　〃Besides　the　reception；〃　Bud　Schwartz　said。　〃The　problem　with　cellulars　is；　people　always　steal　the　damn　things。〃
　〃Yeah；〃　said　his　partner。　〃I　hadn't　thought　about　that。〃
　
　The　emergency　buzzer　awakens　Pedro　Luz　in　the　storage　room。　He　sits　up　and　blinks。　Blinks　at　the　bare　light　bulb。　Blinks　at　the　pitted　walls。　Blinks　at　the　empty　intravenous　bags　on　the　hangers。　He　thinks；　What　the　hell　was　it　this　time？　Stanozolol；　yeah。　He'd　pilfered　a　half…dozen　tabs　from　Spence　Mooher's　locker。　Ground　them　up　with　the　toe　of　a　boot；　stirred　it　in　the　bag　with　the　dextrose。
　Feeling　good。　Feeling　just　fine。　The　beer　sure　helped。
　Then　es　Kingsbury's　alarm　and　it　sounds　like　a　dental　drill。　Better　get　up　now。　Better　get　moving。
　Pedro　Luz　pulls　the　tubes　from　his　arms　and　tries　to　stand。　Whoa；　hoss！　He　forgot　all　about　his　foot；　the　fact　that　it　was　missing。
　He　grabs　a　wooden　crutch　and　steadies　himself。　Facing　the　mirror；　Pedro　notices　he's　buck　naked　from　the　waist　down。　The　image　shocks　him；　his　legs　are　as　thick　as　oaks；　but　his　penis　is　no　larger　than　a　peanut。　Hastily　he　scrambles　into　the　trousers　of　his　guard　uniform；　the　gun　belt；　one　sock；　one　shoe。
　Time　to　go　to　work。　It's　the　Summerfest　Jubilee　and　Mr。　Kingsbury's　in　some　kind　of　trouble。
　And　the　damn　door　won't　open。
　Pedro　can't　fucking　believe　it。　Okay；　now　somebody's　either　locked　the　damn　thing　from　the　outside；　which　don't　make　sense；　or　maybe　welded　it　shut；　which　is　even　crazier。　Pedro　lowers　one　shoulder　and　hits　the　door　like　a　tackle　dummy。　Nada。　Now　he's　getting　pissed。　Through　the　steel　he　yells　for　Cano　or　Spence　or　Diamond　J。　Love；　and　gets　no　answer。　〃Where　the　hell　is　everybody？〃　hollers　Pedro　Luz。
　Next　logical　step　is　using　his　skull　as　a　battering　ram。　Wedging　the　crutch　against　the　baseboard；　he　uses　it　to　vault　himself　headfirst　at　the　door。　Amazing　thing　is；　it　don't　hurt　after　a　while。　Tense　the　neck　muscles　just　before　impact　and　it　acts　like　a　spring。　Boom；　boom；　boom。　Boing；　boing；　boing。
　No　more　door！　Flattened。
　What　a　fine　feeling；　to　be　free　again。
　The　Security　Office　is　empty；　which　is　a　mystery。　Pedro　checks　the　time　cards　and　sees　that　none　of　the　other　guards　have　clocked　in；　something's　going　on　here。　Outside；　the　morning　sun　burns　through　a　milky　August　haze；　and　the　park　is　crawling　with　customers。　There's　a　middle…aged　lady　at　the　security　window　plaining　how　somebody　swiped　her　pocketbook　off　the　tram。　Behind　her　is　some　guy　from　Wisconsin；　red　hair　and　freckles；　says　he　locked　his　keys　in　the　rental　car。　And　behind　him　is　some　bony　old　man　with　a　shnoz　that　could　cut　glass。　Claims　one　of　the　animals　is　walking　around　the　park　with　a　gun。　Which　one？　Pedro　asks。　The　possum？　The　raccoon？　We　got　bunches　of　animals；　says　Pedro　Luz。　And　the　old　guy　scratches　his　big　nose　and　says　he　don't　know　the　difference　from　animals。　Was　Wally　Wolverine　for　all　he　knows；　but　it　damn　sure　was　a　gun　in　its　paw。　Sure；　says　Pedro；　whatever　you　say。　Here's　a　form　to　fill　out。　I'll　be　back　in　a　few　minutes。
　Between　the　whiny　tourists　and　all　that　banging　with　his　head；　Pedro's　finally　waking　up。　On　the　floor　near　the　broken　door　he　spots　something　shiny；　and　checks　it　out：　a　new　Master　padlock；　still　fastened　to　the　broken　hasp。
　Pedro　never　would've　imagined　it　was　the　lovely　Princess　Golden　Sun　who'd　locked　him　in　the　storage　room　with　his　drugs　and　beer。　He　figured　it　was　Spence　Mooher　or　one　of　the　other　security　guards；　playing　a　joke。
　He　could　deal　with　those　jerk…offs　later。　Now　it　was　time　to　haul　ass　over　to　Mr。　Kingsbury's　office　and　see　what　was　wrong。　For　a　moment　Pedro　Luz　thought　he　heard　the　alarm　go　off　again；　but　then　he　realized　no；　it　was　just　the　regular　buzzing　in　his　eardrums。　Only　it　seemed　to　be　getting　louder。
　
　THIRTY…THREE
　〃First　things　first；〃　Joe　Winder　said。　〃Who　killed　Will　Koocher？〃
　Francis　X。　Kingsbury　was　rolling　a　shiny　new　Titleist　from　hand　to　hand　across　the　top　of　his　desk。　The　brassy　strains