ch.nativetongue-第28节

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though；　was　a　special　form　of　torture。　All　he　talked　about　was　Disney　this　and　Disney　that。　If　the　stock　had　dropped　a　point　or　two；　Kingsbury　was　euphoric；　if　the　stock　was　up；　he　was　bellicose　and　depressed。　He　referred　to　the　Disney　mascot　as　Mickey　Ratface；　or　sometimes　simply　The　Rat。　〃The　Rat's　updating　his　pathetic　excuse　for　a　jungle　cruise；〃　Kingsbury　would　report　with　a　sneer。　〃The　fake　hippos　must　be　rusting　out。〃　Another　time；　while　Jake　Harp　was　lining　up　a　long　putt　for　an　eagle；　Kingsbury　began　to　cackle。　〃The　Rat's　got　a　major　problem　at　the　Hall　of　the　Presidents！　Heard　they　had　to　yank　the　Nixon　robot　because　his　jowls　were　molting！〃
　Jake　Harp；　a　lifelong　Republican；　had　suppressed　the　urge　to　take　a　Ping　putter　and　clobber　Francis　X。　Kingsbury　into　a　deep　a。　Jake　Harp　had　to　remain　civil　because　of　the　Falcon　Trace　gig。　It　was　his　second　chance　at　designing　a　golf　course　and　he　didn't　want　to　screw　up　again；　over　on　Sanibel　they　were　still　searching　for　that　mysterious　fourteenth　tee；　the　one　Jake　Harp's　architects　had　mistakenly　located　in　the　middle　of　San　Carlos　Bay。
　As　for　his　title　of　Falcon　Trace　〃touring　pro；〃　it　was　spending　money；　that's　all…tape　a　couple　of　television　spots；　get　your　face　on　a　billboard；　play　a　couple　of　charity　tournaments　in　the　winter。　Hell；　no　one　seriously　expected　you　to　actually　show　up　and　give　golf　lessons。　Not　the　great　Jake　Harp。
　In　the　coffee　shop　Francis　X。　Kingsbury　announced　that　he　was　in　a　hurry　because　he　was　leaving　town　later　in　the　day。　The　sooner　the　better；　thought　Jake　Harp。
　Standing　on　the　first　tee；　Kingsbury　spotted　two　of　the　Ocean　Reef　board　members　waiting　in　a　foursome　behind　them。　The　men　smiled　thinly　and　nodded　at　him。　Kingsbury　placidly　flipped　them　the　finger。　Jake　Harp　grimaced　and　reached　for　his　driver。
　〃Love　it；〃　said　Kingsbury。　〃Think　they're　such　hot　snots。〃
　Jake　Harp　knocked　the　ball　two　hundred　and　sixty　yards　down　the　left　side　of　the　fairway。　Kingsbury　hit　it　about　half　as　far　and　shrugged　as　if　he　didn't　care。　Once　he　got　in　the　golf　cart；　he　drove　like　a　maniac　and　cursed　bitterly。
　〃Our　club'll　make　this　place　look　like　a　buffalo　latrine。〃　The　cart　jounced　heedlessly　along　the　asphalt　path。　〃Like　fucking　Goony　Golf…I　can't　wait。〃
　Jake　Harp；　who　was　badly　hung　over；　said：　〃Let's　take　it　easy；　Frank。〃
　〃They're　dying　to　know　how　I　did　it；〃　Kingsbury　went　on；　full　tilt。　〃This　island；　it's　practically　a　goddamn　nature　preserve。　I　mean；　you　can't　mow　your　lawn　without　a　permit　from　the　fucking　EPA。〃
　He　stomped　the　brake；　got　out　and　lined　up　his　second　shot。　Jake　Harp　asked：　〃You　gonna　use　the　driver　again？〃
　Kingsbury　swung　like　a　canecutter；　topping　the　ball　noisily。　It　skidded　maybe　eighty　yards；　cutting　a　bluish　vector　through　the　dew…covered　grass。
　〃Keep　your　head　down；〃　advised　Jake　Harp。
　Kingsbury　hopped　back　in　the　cart　and　said：　〃Grand…fathering；　that's　how　I　did　it。　The　guy　I　bought　from；　he'd　had　his　permits　since　'74。　I'm　talking　Army　Corps；　Fish　and　Wildlife；　even　Interior。　The　state…well；　yeah；　that　was　a　problem。　For　that　I　had　to　spread　a　little　here　and　there。　And　Monroe　County；　forget　it。〃
　He　shut　up　long　enough　to　get　out　and　hit　again。　This　time　he　switched　to　a　four…wood；　which　he　skied　into　a　liver…shaped　bunker。　〃Fuck　me；〃　muttered　Francis　Kingsbury。　He　remained　silent　as　Jake　Harp　casually　knocked　his　second　shot　thirty　feet　from　the　pin。
　〃What　was　that；　a　five…iron？　A　six？〃
　〃A　six；〃　replied　Jake　Harp；　pinching　the　bridge　of　his　nose。　He　figured　if　he　could　just　cut　off　circulation；　it　would　starve　the　pain　behind　his　eyeballs　and　make　his　hangover　go　away。
　Kingsbury　punched　the　accelerator　and　they　were　off　again。　〃You　know　how　I　got　the　county　boys？　The　ones　giving　me　a　bad　time；　I　promised　'em　units。　Not　raw　lots；　no　fucking　way…town　houses　is　all；　the　one…bedrooms　with　no　garage。〃
　〃Oh；〃　said　Jake　Harp；　feeling　privileged。　He'd　been　given　a　double　lot；　oceanfront；　plus　first　option　on　one　of　the　spec　homes。
　〃Townhouses；〃　Kingsbury　repeated　with　a　laugh。　〃And　they　were　happy　as　clams。　All　I　got　to　do；　it's　easy；　is　sit　on　the　titles　until　Phase　One　is　built。　You　know；　keep　it　off　the　tax　rolls　for　a　few　months。　〃Case　some　damn　reporter　shows　up　at　the　courthouse　and　starts　looking　up　names。〃
　Jake　Harp　didn't　understand　the　nuances　of　Francis　Kingsbury's　scheme。　The　man　was　proud　of　himself；　that　much　was　obvious。
　When　they　pulled　up　to　the　sand　trap；　they　saw　that　Kingsbury's　golf　ball　was　practically　buried　under　the　lip。　It　appeared　to　have　landed　at　the　approximate　speed　and　trajectory　of　a　mortar　round。
　Kingsbury　stood　over　the　ball　for　a　long　time；　as　if　waiting　for　it　to　make　a　move。　Finally　he　said　to　Jake　Harp：　〃You're　the　pro。　What　the　hell　now；　a　wedge？　A　nine；　maybe？〃
　〃Your　only　prayer；〃　said　Jake　Harp；　forcing　a　rheumy　chuckle；　〃is　a　stick　of　dynamite。〃　Miraculously；　Kingsbury　needed　only　three　swings　to　blast　out　of　the　bunker；　and　two　putts　to　get　down。
　While　waiting　on　the　next　tee；　Jake　Harp　said　he　thought　it　would　be　better　if　he　didn't　do　any　more　speaking　engagements　on　behalf　of　Falcon　Trace。
　Kingsbury　scowled。　〃Yeah；　I　heard　what　happened；　some　broad。〃
　〃I'm　not　fortable　in　those　situations；　Frank。〃
　〃Well；　who　the　hell　is？　We　got　her　name；　the　old　bitch。〃　Kingsbury　took　out　a　wood　and　started　whisking　the　air　with　violent　practice　swings。　Jake　Harp　could　scarcely　stand　to　look。
　〃One　of　those　damn　bunny　huggers；〃　Kingsbury　was　saying。　〃Anti　this　and　anti　that。　Got　some　group；　the　Mothers　of　some　fucking　thing。〃
　〃It　doesn't　really　matter；〃　said　Jake　Harp。
　〃The　hell　it　doesn't。〃　Francis　X。　Kingsbury　stopped　swinging　and　pointed　the　polished　head　of　the　driver　at　Jake　Harp's　chest。　〃Now　that　we　know　who　she　is；　don't　you　worry。　This　shit'll　stop…it's　been　taken　care　of。　You'll　be　fine　from　now　on。〃
　〃I'm　a　golfer　is　all。　I　don't　do　speeches。〃
　Kingsbury　wasn't　listening。　〃Maybe　these　assholes'll　let　us　play　through。〃　He　hollered　down　the　fairway　toward　the　other　golfers；　but　they　seemed　not　to　hear。　Kingsbury　teed　up　a　ball。　He　said；　〃Fine；　they　want　to　be　snots。〃
　〃Don't；〃　pleaded　Jake　Harp。　The　slow…playing　foursome　was　well　within　the　limited　range　of　Kingsbury's　driver。　〃Frank；　what's　the　hurry？〃
　Kingsbury　had　already　coiled　into　his　backswing。　〃Yuppie　snots；〃　he　said；　following　through　with　a　ferocious　grunt。　The　ball　took　off　like　a　missile；　low　and　true。
　Terrific；　thought　Jake　Harp。　The　one　time　he　keeps　his　left　arm　straight。
　The　other　golfers　scattered　and　watched　the　ball　streak　past。　They　reassembled　in　the　middle　of　the　fairway；　shook　their　fists　at　Kingsbury　and　began　a　swift　march　back　toward　the　tee。
　〃Shit；〃　said　Jake　Harp。　He　didn't　have　the　energy　for　a　fistfight；　he　didn't　even　have　the　energy　to　watch。
　Francis　X。　Kingsbury　put　the　wood　in　his　bag；　and　sat　down　behind　the　steering　wheel　of　the　golf　cart。　The　angry　players　were　advancing　in　an　infantry　line　that　was　the　color　of　lollipops。　Where　Kingsbury　came　from；　it　would　be　hard　to　regard　such　men　as　dangerous。
　〃Aw；　let's　go；〃　said　Jake　Harp。
　Kingsbury　nodded　and　turned　the　golf　cart　around。　〃Trying　to　make　a　point　is　all；〃　he　said。　〃Etiquette；　am　I　right？　Have　some　fucking　mon　courtesy　for　other　players。〃
　Jake　Harp　said；　〃I　think　they　got　the　message。〃　He　could　hear　the　golfers　shouting　and　cursing　as　they　drove　away。　He　hoped　none　of　them　had　recognized　him。
　On　the　drive　back　to　the　clubhouse；　Francis　Kingsbury　asked　Jake　Harp　for　the　name　of　the　restaurant　manager　at　Ocean　Reef。
　〃I've　got　no　idea；〃　Jake　Harp　said。
　〃But　you're　a　member　here。〃
　〃Frank；　I'm　a　member　of　seventy…four　country　clubs　all　over　the　damn　country。　Some　I've　never　even　played。〃
　Kingsbury　went　on：　〃The　reason　I　asked；　I　got　a　line　on　a　big　shipment　of　fish。　Maybe　they'd　want　to　buy　some。〃
　I'll　ask　around。　What　kind　of　fish？〃
　〃Tuna；　I　think。　Maybe　king　mackerel。〃
　〃You　don't　know？〃
　〃Hell；　Jake；　I'm　a　real…estate　man；　not　a　goddamn　chef。　It's　a　trailer　full　of　fish　is　all　I　know。　Maybe　six　thousand　pounds。〃
　Jake　Harp　said；　〃Holy　Jesus。〃
　Francis　Kingsbury　wasn't　about　to　get　into　the　whole　messy　story。　He'd　been　having　a　devil　of　a　time　penetrating　the　Sudanese　bureaucracy；　UNICEF　was　no　better。　Yes；　of　course　we'd　wele　any　famine　relief；　but　first　you'll　have　to　fill　out　some　forms　and　answer　some　questions。。。。Meanwhile；　no　one　at　the　Amazing　Kingdom　seemed　to　know　how　long　whale　meat　would　stay　fresh。
　From　the　back　of　the　golf　cart　came　a　high…pitched　electronic　beeping。　Kingsbury　quickly　pulled　off　the　path　and　parked　in　a　stand　of　Australian　pines。　He　unzipped　his　golf　bag　and　removed　a　cellular　telephone。
　When　he　heard　who　was　on　the　other　end；　he　lowered　his　voice　and　turned　away。　Jake　Harp　took　the　hint；　he　slipped　into　the　trees　to　get　rid　of　the　two　Bloody　Marys　he'd　had　for　breakfast。　It　was　several　seconds　before　he　realized　he　was　pissing　all　over　somebody's　brand…new　Titleist。　He　carefully　wiped　it　dry　with　a　handkerchief　and　dropped　it　in　his　pocket。
　Francis　X。　Kingsbury　was　punching　a　new　number　into　the　phone　when　Jake　Harp　returned　to　the　golf　cart。
　〃Get　me　that　dildo　Chelsea；〃　he　was　saying。　〃