ch.nativetongue-第22节

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alership　in　Homestead。　The　tent　was　brilliantly　striped　and　decorated　with　the　legend　〃SOUTH　FLORIDA　TOYOTA…THON。〃　A　dozen　or　so　electric　fans　had　been　requisitioned　to　circulate　the　air；　which　had　grown　heavy　with　the　tang　of　dead　whale。　The　staff　veterinarian；　a　man　named　Kukor；　was　up　to　his　knees　in　Orky's　abdomen　when　Joe　Winder　arrived。
　〃Joe；　thank　God；〃　said　Chelsea；　with　an　air　of　grave　urgency。　He　led　Winder　to　a　corner　and　said；　〃Mr。　X　is　here；　to　give　you　some　idea。〃
　〃Some　idea　of　what？〃
　〃Of　how　serious　this　is。〃
　Joe　Winder　said；　〃Charlie；　I　don't　mean　to　be　disrespectful　but　I'm　not　sure　why　I'm　needed。〃　Over　his　shoulder；　he　heard　somebody　crank　up　a　chain　saw。
　〃Joey；　think！　First　the　damn　mango　voles　and　now　Orky。　It's　gonna　look　like　we're　neglecting　the　wildlife。　And　this　whole　killer…whale　thing；　it's　gotten　very　controversial。　There　was　a　piece　in　Newsweek　three　weeks　ago。〃　Charles　Chelsea　was　sweating　extravagantly；　and　Winder　assumed　it　had　something　to　do　with　the　presence　of　Francis　X。　Kingsbury。
　Chelsea　went　on；　〃I　know　it's　unpleasant；　Joe；　but　you　can　leave　as　soon　as　Doc　Kukor　gives　us　a　cause　of　death。〃
　Joe　Winder　nodded。　〃How　many　words？〃
　〃Three　hundred。　And　I　need　it　for　the　early　news。〃
　〃Fine；　Charlie。　Later　you　and　I　need　to　talk。〃
　Chelsea　was　peering　through　the　flaps　in　the　tent；　making　sure　that　no　gawkers　had　sneaked　past　the　security　men。
　〃Listen　to　me；〃　Joe　Winder　said。　〃There's　some　big　trouble　in　this　park。　I　got　the　shit　kicked　out　of　me　last　night　because　of　it。〃
　For　the　first　time　Chelsea　noticed　the　battered　condition　of　Joe　Winder's　face。　He　said；　〃What　the　hell　happened？　No；　wait；　not　now。　Not　with　Mr。　X　around。　We'll　chat　later；　I　promise。〃
　Winder　grabbed　his　elbow。　〃I　need　to　know　everything　about　the　dead　man　at　the　bridge。〃
　Chelsea　shook　free　and　said；　〃Later；　Joe；　for　heaven's　sake。　Let's　tackle　the　crisis　at　hand；　shall　we？〃
　Together　they　returned　to　the　autopsy。　Instead　of　concentrating　on　Orky's　entrails；　Joe　Winder　scanned　the　small　group　of　official　observers：　a　state　wildlife　officer；　taking　notes；　the　tow…truck　drivers　who　had　hauled　the　whale　corpse　to　the　tent；　three　of　Uncle　Ely's　Elves；　apparently　recruited　as　extra　manpower；　and　Francis　X。　Kingsbury　himself；　mouthing　obscenities　over　the　gruesome　ceremony。
　Nervously　Chelsea　directed　Joe　Winder　to　Kingsbury's　side　and　introduced　him。　〃This　is　the　fellow　I　told　you　about；〃　said　the　PR　man。。　〃Our　ace　in　the　hole。〃
　Kingsbury　chuckled　darkly。　〃Blame　us　for　this？　Some　fucking　fish　croaks；　how　can　they　blame　us？〃
　Joe　Winder　shrugged。　〃Why　not？〃　he　said。
　Cutting　in　quickly；　Chelsea　said：　〃Don't　worry；　sir；　it'll　die　down。　It's　just　the　crazy　pro…animal　types；　that's　all。〃　He　planted　a　moist　hand　on　Winder's　shoulder。　〃Joe's　got　the　perfect　touch　for　this。〃
　〃Hope　so；〃　said　Francis　X。　Kingsbury。　〃Meanwhile；　the　stink；　holy　Christ！　Don't　we　have　some　Glade。　I　mean；　this　is　fucking　rank。〃
　〃Right　away；〃　said　Chelsea；　dashing　off　in　search　of　air　freshener。
　Kingsbury　gestured　at　the　billowing　tent；　the　murmuring　onlookers；　the　husk　of　deceased　behemoth。　〃You　believe　this　shit？〃　he　said　to　Joe　Winder。　〃I'm　a　goddamn　real…estate　man　is　all。　I　don't　know　from　animals。〃
　〃It's　a　tricky　business；〃　Winder　agreed。
　〃Who'd　believe　it；　I　mean；　looking　at　this　thing。〃
　It　was　quite　a　strange　scene；　Joe　Winder　had　to　admit。　〃I'm　sure　they　can　find　a　new　whale　for　the　show。〃
　〃This　time　mechanical；〃　Kingsbury　said；　jabbing　a　finger　at　Orky's　lifeless　form。　〃No　more　real　ones。　puterized；　that'd　be　the　way　to　go。　That's　how　Disney　would　handle　it；　eh？〃
　〃Either　that　or　a　hologram；〃　said　Joe　Winder　with　a　wink。　〃Think　of　all　the　money　you'd　save　on　whale　food。〃
　Just　then　Dr。　Kukor；　the　veterinarian；　tripped　on　something　and　fell　down　inside　Orky's　closet…sized　stomach　cavity。　Two　of　Uncle　Ely's　Elves　bravely　charged　forward　to　help；　hoisting　the　doctor　to　his　feet。
　〃Oh　my；〃　Kukor　said；　pointing。　The　elves　ran　away　frantically；　their　huge　curly…toed　shoes　slapping　noisily　on　the　blood…slickened　asphalt。
　〃What？〃　barked　Francis　X。　Kingsbury。　〃What　is　it？〃
　〃I　don't　believe　this；〃　said　the　veterinarian。
　Kingsbury　stepped　forward　to　see　for　himself　and　Joe　Winder　followed；　though　he　was　sorry　he　did。
　〃Call　somebody；〃　wheezed　Dr。　Kukor。
　〃Looks　like　a　human；〃　Kingsbury　remarked。　He　turned　to　stare　at　Winder　because　Winder　was　clinging　to　his　arm。　〃Don't　puke　on　me　or　you're　fired；〃　said　Kingsbury。
　Joe　Winder　was　trying　not　to　pass　out。　The　corpse　wasn't　in　perfect　condition；　but　you　could　tell　who　it　was。
　A　wan　and　shaky　Dr。　Kukor　stepped　out　of　Orky's　excavated　carcass。　〃Asphyxiation；〃　he　declared　numbly。　〃The　whale　choked　to　death。〃
　〃Well；　damn；〃　said　Francis　X。　Kingsbury。
　Joe　Winder　thought：　Choked　to　death　on　Will　Koocher。　Koocher；　in　a　mint…green　golf　shirt。
　〃Somebody　call　somebody；〃　Kukor　said。　〃This　is　way　out　of　my　field。〃
　Winder　reeled　away　from　the　scene。　In　a　croaky　voice　he　said；　〃That's　the　worst　thing　I　ever　saw。〃
　〃You？〃　Kingsbury　laughed　harshly。　Three　fucking　tons　of　whale　meat；　talk　about　a　nightmare。〃
　〃Yes；〃　Joe　Winder　said；　gasping　for　fresh　air。
　〃I'm　thinking　South　Korea　or　maybe　the　Sudan；〃　Kingsbury　was　saying。　〃Stamp　it　'Tuna；'　who　the　hell　would　ever　know？　Those　little　fuckers　are　starving。〃
　〃What？〃　said　Winder。　〃What　did　you　say？〃
　〃Providing　I　can　get　some　goddamn　ice；　pronto。〃
　
　ELEVEN
　Charles　Chelsea　decreed　that　there　should　be　no　mention　of　Dr。　Will　Koocher　in　the　press　release。　〃Stick　to　Orky；〃　he　advised　Joe　Winder。　〃Three　hundred　words　max。〃
　〃You're　asking　me　to　lie。〃
　〃No；　I'm　asking　you　to　omit　a　few　superfluous　details。　The　whale　died　suddenly　overnight；　scientists　are　investigating；　blah；　blah；　blah。　Oh；　and　be　sure　to　include　a　line　that　Mr。　Francis　X。　Kingsbury　is　shocked　and　saddened。〃　Chelsea　paused；　put　a　finger　to　his　chin。　〃Scratch　the　'shocked；'　he　said。　〃　'Saddened'　is　plenty。　〃Shocked〃　makes　it　sound　like　something；　I　don't　know；　something…〃
　〃Out　of　the　ordinary？〃　said　Joe　Winder。
　〃Right。　Exactly。〃
　〃Charlie；　you　are　one　sorry　bucket　of　puss。〃
　Chelsea　steepled　his　hands　on　his　chest。　Then　he　unfolded　them。　Then　he　folded　them　once　more　and　said；　〃Joe；　this　is　a　question　of　privacy；　not　censorship。　Until　Dr。　Koocher's　wife　is　officially　notified；　the　least　we　can　do　is　spare　her　the　agony　of　hearing　about　it　on　the　evening　news。〃
　For　a　moment；　Winder　saw　two　Charles　Chelseas　instead　of　one。　Somewhere　in　the　cacophonous　gearbox　of　his　brain；　he　heard　the　hiss　of　a　petcock；　blowing　off　steam。　〃Charlie；〃　he　said　blankly；　〃the　man　was　eaten　by　a　fucking　thirty…foot　leviathan。　This　isn't　going　to　remain　our　little　secret　very　long。〃
　Chelsea's　brow　wrinkled。　〃Eventually；　yes；　I　suppose　we'll　have　to　make　some　sort　of　public　statement。　Seeing　as　it　was　our　whale。〃
　Joe　Winder　leaned　forward　on　one　elbow。　〃Charlie；　I'm　going　to　be　honest。〃
　〃I　appreciate　that。〃
　〃Very　soon　I　intend　to　kick　the　living　shit　out　of　you。〃
　Chelsea　stiffened。　He　shifted　in　his　chair。　〃I　don't　know　what　to　make　of　a　remark　like　that。〃
　Joe　Winder　imagined　his　eyeballs　pulsating　in　the　sockets；　as　if　jolted　by　a　hot　wire。
　Charles　Chelsea　said；　〃You　mean；　punch　me？　Actually　punch　me？〃
　〃Repeatedly；〃　said　Winder；　〃until　you　are　no　longer　conscious。〃
　The　publicity　man's　voice　was　plaintive；　but　it　held　no　fear。　〃Do　you　know　what　kind　of　day　I've　had？　I've　dealt　with　two　dead　bodies…first　the　man　on　the　bridge；　and　now　the　vole　doctor。　Plus　I've　been　up　to　my　knees　in　whale　guts。　I'm　drained；　Joe；　physically　and　emotionally　drained。　But　if　it　makes　you　feel　better　to　beat　me　up；　go　ahead。〃
　Joe　Winder　said　he　was　a　reasonable　man。　He　said　he　would　reconsider　the　beating　if　Charles　Chelsea　would　show　him　the　suicide　note　allegedly　written　by　Dr。　Will　Koocher。
　Chelsea　unlocked　a　file　drawer　and　took　out　a　sheet　of　paper　with　block　printing　on　it。　〃It's　only　a　Xerox；〃　he　said；　handing　it　to　Winder；　〃but　still　it　breaks　your　heart。〃
　It　was　one　of　the　lamest　suicide　notes　that　Joe　Winder　had　ever　seen。　In　large　letters　it　said：　
　〃TO　MY　FRIENDS　AND　FAMILY；　
　I　SORRY　BUT　I　CAN'T　GO　ON。　NOW　THAT　MY　WORKS　IS　OVER；　SO　AM　I。〃
　
　The　name　signed　at　the　bottom　was　〃William　Bennett　Koocher；　PhD。〃
　Winder　stuffed　the　Xerox　copy　in　his　pocket　and　said；　〃This　is　a　fake。〃
　〃I　know　what　you're　thinking；　Joey；　but　it　wasn't　only　the　voles　that　got　him　down。　There　were　problems　at　home；　if　you　know　what　I　mean。〃
　〃My　goodness。〃　Winder　whistled。　〃Problems　at　home。　I　had　no　idea。〃
　Chelsea　continued：　〃And　I　know　what　else　you're　thinking。　Why　would　anybody　kill　himself　in　this。。。extreme　fashion？　Jumping　in　a　whale　tank　and　all。〃
　〃It　struck　me　as　a　bit　unorthodox；　yes。〃
　〃Well；　me　too；〃　said　Chelsea；　regaining　some　of　his　starch；　〃until　I　remembered　that　Koocher　couldn't　swim　a　lick。　More　to　the　point；　he　was　deathly　afraid　of　sharks。　It's　not　so　surprising　that　he　chose　to　drown　himself　here；　indoors；　rather　than　the　ocean。〃
　〃And　the　green　shirt？〃
　〃Obviously　he　wasn't　aware　of　Orky's；　ah；　problem。〃
　Joe　Winder　blinked　vigorously　in　an　effort　to　clear　his　vision。　He