ah.thefinaldiagnosis-第74节

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any　more。　He　let　himself　vegetate　and　get　in　a　rut。　It　happens　sometimes。〃
　Suddenly　Coleman　thought　of　his　own　father；　his　strong　suspicion　that　the　sensitized　blood　which　killed　the　Alexanders'　child　had　stemmed　from　a　transfusion　his　father　had　given　years　before…given　without　Rh　typing；　even　though　the　dangers　were　already　known　to　medicine。
　〃Yes；〃　he　said。　〃I　suppose　it　does。〃
　Both　men　had　risen　and　moved　to　the　door。　As　they　went　out　O'Donnell　said　softly；　〃It's　a　good　thing　for　all　of　us　to　have　passion。　You　see；　you　never　know　whether　someday　you'll　need　it　yourself。〃
　
　Lucy　Grainger　said；　〃Kent；　you　look　tired。〃
　It　was　early　afternoon；　and　O'Donnell　had　paused　in　a　main…floor　corridor。　Unnoticed；　she　had　stopped　beside　him。
　Dear　Lucy；　he　thought…unchanged；　warm　and　tender。　Was　it　really　less　than　a　week　ago　that　he　had　considered　leaving　Burlington　and　marrying　Denise？　At　the　moment　it　all　seemed　far　away…a　nostalgic　interlude　that　now　was　nothing　more。　Here　was　where　he　belonged；　in　this　place；　for　good　or　ill；　was　where　his　destiny　lay。
　He　took　her　arm。　〃Lucy；〃　he　said；　〃let's　meet　soon。　There's　a　lot　we　have　to　talk　about。〃
　〃All　right。〃　She　smiled　with　affection。　〃You　may　take　me　to　dinner　tomorrow。〃
　Side　by　side；　they　moved　on　down　the　hallway；　and　it　was　somehow　reassuring　to　have　her　beside　him。　He　glanced　sideways　at　her　profile；　and　there　came　to　him　a　sense　of　certainty　that　for　both　of　them　there　was　much　that　was　good　ahead。　Perhaps　it　would　take　time　to　adjust；　but　in　the　end　he　knew　they　would　find　their　future　together。
　Lucy　was　thinking：　Dreams　do　e　true；　perhaps　mine　will…someday　soon。
　
　Dusk　came　early　to　Pathology。　It　was　a　price　they　paid　for　working　in　the　hospital　basement。　Snapping　lights　on；　David　Coleman　decided　that　one　of　his　early　projects　would　be　to　move　the　department　to　a　better　location。　The　day　when　pathologists　were　automatically　relegated　to　the　bowels　of　the　hospital　was　over；　light　and　air　were　as　much　requisites　for　them　as　for　any　other　branch　of　medicine。
　He　entered　the　pathology　office　and　found　Pearson　at　his　desk。　The　old　man　was　emptying　the　contents　of　the　drawers。　He　looked　up　as　Coleman　came　in。
　〃It's　a　funny　thing；〃　he　said；　〃how　much　junk　you　can　accumulate　in　thirty…two　years。〃
　For　a　moment　David　Coleman　watched。　Then　he　said；　〃I'm　sorry。〃
　〃Nothing　to　be　sorry　about。〃　Pearson　answered　gruffly。　He　closed　the　last　drawer　and　put　papers　in　a　case。　〃I　hear　you're　getting　a　new　job。　Congratulations。〃
　Coleman　said；　and　meant　it；　〃I　wish　it　could　have　been　some　other　way。〃
　〃Too　late　to　worry　now。〃　He　snapped　the　locks　on　the　case　and　looked　around。　〃Well；　I　guess　that's　everything。　If　you　find　anything　else　you　can　send　it　with　my　pension　check。〃
　〃There's　something　I　want　to　tell　you；〃　Coleman　said。
　〃What's　that？〃
　Coleman　spoke　carefully。　〃The　student　nurse…the　one　who　had　her　leg　amputated。　I　dissected　the　limb　this　morning。　You　were　right。　I　was　wrong。　It　was　malignant。　Osteogenic　sara　without　a　doubt。〃
　The　old　man　paused。　He　gave　the　impression　that　his　thoughts　were　far　away。　〃I'm　glad　I　didn't　make　a　mistake；〃　he　said　slowly；　〃about　that　anyway。〃
　He　picked　up　a　topcoat　and　moved　to　the　door。　He　seemed　about　to　go；　then　turned　back。　Almost　diffidently　he　asked；　〃Do　you　mind　if　I　give　you　some　advice？〃
　Coleman　shook　his　head。　〃Please　do。〃
　〃You're　young；〃　Pearson　said。　〃You're　full　of　spice　and　vinegar…that's　good。　You　know　your　stuff　too。　You're　up　to　date…you　know　things　that　I　never　did；　never　will　now。　Take　my　advice　and　try　to　keep　it　that　way。　It'll　be　tough　to　do；　make　no　mistake　about　it。〃　He　waved　toward　the　desk　he　had　just　vacated。　〃You'll　sit　ha　that　chair　and　the　phone　will　ring；　and　it'll　be　the　administrator…talking　about　budgets。　Next　minute　one　of　the　lab　staff　will　want　to　quit；　and　you'll　have　to　smooth　that　out。　And　the　doctors　will　e　in；　and　they'll　want　this　bit　of　information　and　that。〃　The　old　man　smiled　thinly。　〃Then　you'll　get　the　salesman…the　man　with　the　unbreakable　test　tube　and　the　burner　that　never　goes　out。　And　when　you're　through　seeing　him　there'll　be　another　and　another　and　another。　Until　at　the　end　of　a　day　you'll　wonder　what　happened　to　it　and　what　you've　acplished；　what　you've　achieved。〃
　Pearson　stopped　and　Coleman　waited。　He　sensed　that　in　his　words　the　old　pathologist　was　reliving　a　part　of　his　own　past。　He　went　on；　〃That's　the　way　the　next　day　can　go；　and　the　next；　and　the　one　after　that。　Until　you　find　a　year　has　slipped　by；　and　another；　and　another。　And　while　you're　doing　all　this　you'll　send　other　people　on　courses　to　hear　about　the　new　things　in　medicine…because　you　can't　take　time　out　to　go　yourself。　And　you'll　quit　investigation　and　research；　and　because　you　work　so　hard；　you'll　be　tired　at　night；　and　you　won't　feel　like　reading　textbooks。　And　then　suddenly；　one　day；　you'll　find　everything　you　knew　is　out　of　date。　That's　when　it's　too　late　to　change。〃
　Emotion…charged；　the　voice　faltered。　Pearson　put　a　hand　on　Coleman's　arm。　He　said　imploringly；　〃Listen　to　an　old　man　who's　been　through　it　all；　who　made　the　mistake　of　falling　behind。　Don't　let　it　happen　to　you！　Lock　yourself　in　a　closet　if　you　have　to！　Get　away　from　the　phone　and　the　files　and　paper；　and　read　and　learn　and　listen　and　keep　up　to　date！　Then　they　can　never　touch　you；　never　say；　'He's　finished；　all　washed　up；　he　belongs　to　yesterday。'　Because　you'll　know　as　much　as　they　do…and　more。　Because　you'll　have　experience　to　go　with　it　。　。　。〃
　The　voice　trailed　off　and　Pearson　turned　away。
　〃I　shall　try　to　remember；〃　Coleman　said。　He　added　gently；　〃I'll　e　with　you　to　the　door。〃
　They　climbed　the　stairs　from　Pathology；　and　on　the　hospital's　main　floor　the　bustle　of　early…evening　activity　was　just　beginning。　A　nurse　passed　them　hurriedly；　she　carried　a　diet　tray；　her　starched　uniform　swishing。　They　moved　aside　to　let　a　wheel　chair　by；　in　it　was　a　middle…aged　man；　one　leg　in　a　cast；　holding　a　pair　of　crutches　like　oars　withdrawn　into　a　boat。　A　trio　of　student　nurses　went　past　laughing。　A　Women's　Auxiliary　worker　propelled　a　cart　with　magazines。　A　man　clutching　a　bouquet　of　flowers　headed　for　the　elevators。　Somewhere　out　of　sight　a　child　was　crying。　It　was　the　hospital　world：　a　living　organism；　a　mirror　of　the　greater　world　outside。
　Pearson　was　looking　around　him。　Coleman　thought：　Thirty…two　years；　and　he's　seeing　it　all；　perhaps　for　the　last　time。　He　wondered：　How　will　it　be　when　my　own　time　es？　Shall　I　remember　this　moment　thirty　years　from　now？　Will　I　understand　it　better　then？
　On　the　public…address　system　a　voice　announced；　〃Dr。　David　Coleman。　Dr。　Coleman　to　the　surgical　floor。〃
　〃It's　started；〃　Pearson　said。　〃It'll　be　a　frozen　section…you'd　better　go。〃　He　held　out　his　hand。　〃Good　luck。〃
　Coleman　found　it　hard　to　speak。　〃Thank　you；〃　he　said。
　The　old　man　nodded　and　turned　away。
　〃Good　night；　Dr。　Pearson。〃　It　was　one　of　the　senior　nurses。
　〃Good　night；〃　Pearson　said。　Then；　on　the　way　out；　he　stopped　under　a　〃No　Smoking〃　sign　to　light　a　cigar。
　



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