ah.thefinaldiagnosis-第52节
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grow old sadly。 These were those for whom more powerful and glossier automobiles would be designed； in whose service aircraft would wing faster and farther； whose every whim and appetite would be wooed by others of their kind with wares to market。 These were some who would face the unknown future； most with misgiving； many bravely； a few craven。 Some here； perhaps； might breach the barriers of outer space； others with the gift of tongues might move their fellow men to anger or despair。 Most； within twenty years； would fulfill their physical maturity； obeying； but never understanding； the same primeval craving to copulate which had sown their seed and brought them； mewling； puking； here。 But for now these were the victors…the born and urgent。 Their first and greatest barrier was down； the other battles yet to e。
Across the hallway was another area with a smaller nursery beyond。 In it； quiet and separate； each in an incubator； were the premature babies； these…the doubtful starters； their existence insecure； their first encounter not yet won。 Turning away from the main nursery； it was this section that Dornberger entered now。
When he had viewed his newest patient…a tiny fragment of insecure humanity…he pursed his lips and shook his head doubtfully。 Then； methodical as always； he wrote careful instructions on the treatment to be followed。
Later； as Dornberger left by one door； Nurse Wilding and John Alexander came in by another。
Like everyone who approached the premature nursery； they had put on sterile gowns and face masks； even though plate glass separated them from the air…conditioned； humidity…controlled interior。 Now； as they stopped； Mrs。 Wilding leaned forward and tapped lightly on the glass。 A younger nurse inside looked up and moved toward them； her eyes above the mask inquiring。
〃Baby Alexander！〃 Wilding raised her voice enough to carry through to the other nurse； then pointed to John。 The girl inside nodded and motioned for them to move。 They followed her the length of the plate…glass window and stopped。 Now she pointed to an incubator…one of the dozen the nursery contained…and turned it slightly so they could see inside。
〃My God！ Is that all？〃 The exclamation was torn from John even as it framed itself in mind。
Nurse Wilding's glance was sympathetic。 〃He's not very big； is he？〃
John was staring as if in unbelief。 〃I've never seen anything so 。 。 。 so incredibly small。〃
He stood looking down into the Isolette cabinet。 Could this be human？…this tiny； shriveled； monkeylike figure； little larger than his own two hands。
The baby lay perfectly still； its eyes closed； only a slight regular movement of the tiny chest testifying to its breathing。 Even in the incubator； designed for the smallest infants； the little helpless body appeared forlorn and lost。 It seemed incredible that in such fragility life could exist at all。
The younger nurse had e outside to join them。 Wilding asked； 〃What was the birth weight？〃
〃Three pounds eight ounces。〃 The young nurse turned to John。 〃Do you understand what's happening； Mr。 Alexander…how your baby is being cared for？〃
He shook his head。 He found it hard to tear his eyes away； even for a moment； from the tiny child。
The young nurse said practically； 〃Some people like to know。 They seem to think it helps。〃
John nodded。 〃Yes； if you'd tell me。 Please。〃
The nurse pointed to the incubator。 〃The temperature inside is always ninety…eight degrees。 There's oxygen added to the air…about 40 per cent。 The oxygen makes it easier for the baby to breathe。 His lungs are so small； you see。 They weren't really developed when he was born。〃
〃Yes。 I understand。〃 His eyes were back on the faint pulsing movement in the chest。 While it continued it meant there was life； that the tiny burdened heart was beating； the thread of survival still unbroken。
The nurse went on。 〃Your baby isn't strong enough to suck； so we have to use intubation。 You see the little tube？〃 She pointed to a plastic cord with a hollow center which ran from the top of the incubator into the infant's mouth。 〃It goes directly into the stomach。 He'll be having dextrose and water through the tube every hour and a half。〃
John hesitated。 Then he asked； 〃You've seen a lot of these cases？〃
〃Yes。〃 The nurse nodded gravely； as if sensing the question which would follow。 He noticed she was petite and pretty； with red hair tucked under her cap。 She was surprisingly young； too； perhaps twenty； certainly no more。 But she carried an air of professional petence。
〃Do you think he'll live？〃 He glanced down again through the paneled glass。
〃You can never tell。〃 The younger nurse's forehead was creased in a frown。 He could sense that she was trying to be honest； not to destroy his hopes and yet not to raise them。 〃Some do； some don't。 Sometimes it seems as if some babies have a will to live。 They fight for life。〃
He asked her； 〃This one…is he fighting？〃
She said carefully； 〃It's too early to know。 But those extra eight weeks would have made a lot of difference。〃 She added quietly； 〃This will be a hard fight。〃
Once more he let his eyes stray back to the tiny figure。 For the first time the thought occurred to him： This is my son； my own； a part of my life。 Suddenly he was consumed by a sense of overwhelming love for this fragile morsel； fighting his lonely battle inside the warm little box below。 He had an absurd impulse to shout through the glass： You're not alone； son； I've e to help。 He wanted to run to the incubator and say： These are my hands； take them for your strength。 Here are my lungs； use them and let me breathe for you。 Only don't give up； son； don't give up！ There's so much ahead； so much we can do together…if only you'll live！ Listen to me； and hold on！ This is your father and I love you。
He felt Nurse Wilding's hand on his arm。 Her voice said gently； 〃We'd better go now。〃
He nodded； unable to speak。 Then with a last glance backward they moved away。
Lucy Grainger knocked and went into the pathology office。 Joe Pearson was behind his desk； David Coleman on the far side of the room； studying a file。 He turned as Lucy entered。
〃I have the new X…rays；〃 Lucy said； 〃on Vivian Loburton。〃
〃What do they show？〃 Pearson was interested at once。 He pushed some papers aside and got up。
〃Very little； I'm afraid。〃 Lucy had moved to the X…ray viewer which hung on the office wall； and the two men followed her。 Coleman reached out and snapped a switch； after a second or two the fluorescent lights in the viewer flickered on。
Two at a time； they studied the parative films。 Lucy pointed out； as Dr。 Bell had done in Radiology； the area of periosteal reaction created by the biopsy。 Otherwise； she reported； there had been no change。
At the end Pearson thoughtfully rubbed his chin with thumb and forefinger。 Glancing at Coleman； he said； 〃I guess your idea didn't work。〃
〃Apparently not。〃 Coleman kept his voice nonmittal。 In spite of everything they were still left with a question…a division of opinion。 He wondered what the older man would do。
〃It was worth trying anyway。〃 Pearson had a way of making the most ordinary acknowledgment sound grudging； but Coleman guessed he was talking to gain time and to cover up his indecision。
Now the old man turned to Lucy。 Almost sardonically； he said； 〃So Radiology bows out。〃
She answered levelly； 〃I suppose you could say that。〃
〃And it leaves it up to me…to Pathology？〃
〃Yes； Joe；〃 she said quietly； waiting。
There was a ten…second silence before Pearson spoke again。 Then he said clearly and confidently； 〃My diagnosis is that your patient has a malignant tumor…osteogenic sara。〃
Lucy met his eyes。 She asked； 〃That's quite definite？〃
〃Quite definite。〃 In the pathologist's voice there was no hint of doubt or hesitation。 He went on； 〃In any case； I've been sure from the beginning。 I thought this〃…he indicated the X…ray films…〃would give some extra confirmation。〃
〃All right。〃 Lucy nodded her acceptance。 Her mind was working now on immediate things to do。
Pearson asked matter…of…factly； 〃When shall you amputate？〃
〃Tomorrow morning； I expect。〃 Lucy gathered up the X…rays and went to the door。 Her glance taking in Coleman； she said； 〃I suppose I'd better go and break the news。〃 She made a small grimace。 〃This is one of the hard ones。〃
When the door had closed behind her； Pearson turned to Coleman。 He said with surprising courtesy； 〃Someone had to decide。 I didn't ask your opinion then because I couldn't take the chance of letting it be known that there was doubt。 If Lucy Grainger knew； she would have no choice but to tell the girl and her parents。 And once they heard； they would want to delay。 People always do； you can't blame them。〃 He paused； then added； 〃I don't have to tell you what delay can do with osteogenic sara。〃
Coleman nodded。 He had no quarrel with Pearson's having made the decision。 As the old man had said； someone had to do it。 All the same； he wondered if the amputation to be performed tomorrow was necessary or not。 Eventually； of course； they would know for sure。 When the severed limb came down to the lab； dissection would show if the diagnosis of malignancy was right or wrong。 Unfortunately； though； an err
