ah.thefinaldiagnosis-第51节

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　reprieve　。　。　。　or　a　solemn　sentence　from　which　there　could　be　no　appeal？　Again　she　found　herself　wishing　for　Mike；　she　would　call　him　as　soon　as　she　returned　to　the　hospital　room。
　The　technician　had　finished　his　preparation。　〃I　think　that　will　do。〃　He　took　a　final　look　around。　〃I'll　tell　you　when　to　keep　perfectly　still。　This　is　the　only　place　in　the　hospital；　you　know；　where　we　can　say　you　won't　feel　a　thing　and　really　mean　it。〃
　Now　he　moved　behind　the　inch…thick　glass　screen　which　protected　the　X…ray　operator　from　radiation。　Out　of　the　periphery　of　her　vision　Vivian　could　see　him　moving；　holding　a　check　list；　setting　switches。
　At　the　master　control　panel　Firban　was　thinking：　A　pretty　kid。　Wonder　what's　wrong。　Must　be　something　serious　for　Bell　to　take　all　that　interest；　usually　the　chief　doesn't　pay　attention　to　patients　until　after　the　films　are　made。　He　double…checked　the　panel　controls；　in　this　work　you　acquired　the　habit　of　taking　no　chances。　Settings　were　okay…84　kilovolts；　200　milliamps；　exposure　time　fifteen　hundredths　of　a　second。　He　pressed　a　button　which　set　the　rotating　anode　of　the　picture　tube　in　motion。　Then　calling　out　the　familiar　formula；　〃Don't　move！　Keep　still！〃　he　thumbed　the　second　button　and　knew　that　whatever　was　to　be　seen　by　the　osmotic　eye　of　X…ray　was　recorded　now　for　others　to　evaluate。
　
　In　the　X…O…Mat　room　of　Radiology；　the　Venetian　blinds　lowered　to　cut　off　the　light　from　outside；　Drs。　Bell　and　Lucy　Grainger　were　waiting。　In　a　few　minutes　the　films　which　Firban　had　taken　would　be　ready　for　parison　with　those　of　two　weeks　before。　The　technician　had　already　fed　his　undeveloped　negatives　into　the　autodeveloping　machine；　and　at　this　moment；　looking　somewhat　like　an　oversized　oil　furnace；　its　interior　was　humming。　Now；　one　by　one；　the　developed　films　began　to　fall　too　a　slot　at　the　front　of　the　machine。
　As　each　film　appeared　Bell　placed　it　under　the　clip　of　a　viewing　box；　lighted　by　fluorescent　tubes　behind。　On　a　second　viewing　box；　immediately　above；　he　had　already　put　in　position　the　earlier　films。
　〃Did　we　get　good　pictures？〃　There　was　a　touch　of　pride　in　the　technician's　question。
　〃Very　good　indeed。〃　It　was　a　reflex　answer；　Bell　was　already　studying　the　new　negatives　intently；　then　paring　the　corresponding　areas　in　the　two　sets　of　films。　He　used　a　pencil　point　to　aid　his　own　thought　process　and　so　that　Lucy　could　follow　him。
　When　they　had　gone　over　both　sets　pletely；　Lucy　asked；　〃Do　you　see　any　difference？　I　can't；　I'm　afraid。〃
　The　radiologist　shook　his　head。　〃There's　a　little　periosteal　reaction　here。〃　He　pointed　with　the　pencil　to　a　slight　difference　in　gray　shading　at　two　points。　〃But　that's　probably　the　result　of　your　own　biopsy。　Otherwise　there's　been　no　conclusive　change。〃　Bell　removed　his　heavy　glasses　and　rubbed　his　right　eye。　He　said；　almost　apologetically；　〃I'm　sorry；　Lucy；　I　guess　I　have　to　throw　the　ball　back　at　Pathology。　Will　you　tell　Joe　Pearson；　or　shall　I？〃　He　began　to　take　down　the　two　sets　of　films。
　〃I'll　tell　him；〃　Lucy　said　thoughtfully。　〃I'll　go　and　tell　Joe　now。〃
　
　Seventeen
　
　Staff　Nurse　Mrs。　Wilding　pushed　back　a　wisp　of　gray　hair　that　seemed　forever　to　be　falling　out　from　under　her　starched　cap　and　walked　briskly　down　the　fourth…floor　corridor　of　Obstetrics　a　little　ahead　of　John　Alexander。　At　the　fifth　door　they　came　to　she　stopped　and　looked　inside。　Then　she　announced　cheerfully；　〃A　visitor　for　you；　Mrs。　Alexander；〃　and　ushered　John　into　the　small　semi…private　room。
　〃Johnny　darling！〃　Elizabeth　held　out　her　arms；　wincing　slightly　as　the　movement　caused　her　to　change　position　in　the　bed；　and　he　went　to　her；　kissing　her　tenderly。　For　a　moment　she　held　him　tightly。　He　felt　her　warmth　and　under　his　hand　the　crisp；　clean　coarseness　of　the　hospital　nightgown　she　had　on。　There　was　a　smell　in　her　hair　that　resembled　a　bination　of　sweat　and　ether；　it　seemed　a　reminder　of　something　he　had　been　unable　to　share；　as　if　she　had　been　to　a　distant　place　and　was　now　returned；　a　touch　of　strangeness　with　her。　For　a　moment　he　sensed　a　constraint　between　them；　as　if；　after　separation；　there　was　the　need　to　find　and　to　know　each　other　again。　Then　gently　Elizabeth　drew　back。
　〃I　must　look　a　mess。〃
　〃You　look　beautiful；〃　he　told　her。
　〃There　wasn't　time　to　bring　anything。〃　She　looked　down　at　the　shapeless　hospital　garment。　〃Not　even　a　nightgown　or　a　lipstick。〃
　He　said　sympathetically；　〃I　know。〃
　〃I'll　make　a　list。　Then　you　can　bring　the　things　in。〃
　Behind　them　Mrs。　Wilding　had　drawn　the　overhead　curtain　that　separated　them　from　the　other　bed　in　the　tiny　room。
　〃There　you　are。　Now　you're　as　private　as　can　be。〃　She　took　a　tumbler　that　was　on　a　bed　table　beside　Elizabeth　and　refilled　it　from　a　jug　of　ice　water。　〃I'll　e　back　in　a　little　while；　Mr。　Alexander；　then　you　can　see　your　baby。〃
　〃Thank　you。〃　They　both　smiled　gratefully　as　the　nurse　went　out。
　As　the　door　closed　Elizabeth　turned　to　face　John　again。　Her　expression　was　strained；　her　eyes　searching。
　〃Johnny　dear；　I　want　to　know。　What　are　the　baby's　chances？〃
　〃Well；　honey　。　。　。〃　He　hesitated。
　She　reached　out　and　covered　his　hand。　〃Johnny；　I　want　the　truth。　The　nurses　won't　tell　me。　I've　got　to　hear　it　from　you。〃　Her　voice　wavered。　He　sensed　that　tears　were　not　far　distant。
　He　answered　softly；　〃It　could　go　either　way。〃　He　went　on；　choosing　the　words　carefully。　〃I　saw　Dr。　Dornberger。　He　said　the　chances　are　just　fair。　The　baby　might　live；　or　。　。　。〃　John　stopped；　the　sentence　unfinished。
　Elizabeth　had　let　her　head　fall　back　into　the　pillows　behind　her。　Looking　at　the　ceiling；　the　words　little　more　than　a　whisper；　she　asked；　〃There　really　isn't　much　hope；　is　there？〃
　John　weighed　the　impact　of　what　he　might　say　next。　Perhaps；　if　the　baby　were　going　to　die；　it　was　better　for　them　both　to　face　it　now；　better　than　to　buoy　up　Elizabeth's　hopes　and　then　in　a　day　or　two　have　them　cruelly　destroyed。　Gently　he　said；　〃He's　。　。　。　awfully　small；　you　see。　He　was　born　two　months　too　soon。　If　there's　any　kind　of　infection　。　。　。　even　the　smallest　thing　。　。　。　He　doesn't　have　much　strength。〃
　〃Thank　you。〃　Elizabeth　was　quite　still；　not　looking　at　him；　but　holding　his　hand　tightly。　There　were　tears　on　her　cheeks；　and　John　found　his　own　eyes　moist。
　Trying　to　keep　his　voice　even；　he　said；　〃Elizabeth　darling　。　。　。　Whatever　happens　。　。　。　We're　still　young。　We've　a　lot　ahead　of　us。〃
　〃I　know。〃　The　words　were　scarcely　audible；　and　his　arms　went　around　her　again。　Her　head　close　against　him；　he　heard　her；　muffled　through　sobs。　〃But　。　。　。　two　babies　。　。　。　this　way　。　。　。〃　She　lifted　her　head；　her　cry　despairing。　〃It　isn't　fair！〃
　He　felt　his　own　tears　coursing。　Softly　he　whispered；　〃It's　hard　to　figure　。　。　。　We've　still　got　each　other。〃
　For　a　minute　longer　he　held　her；　she　was　sobbing　quietly；　then　he　felt　her　stir。　She　murmured；　〃Handkerchief；〃　and；　taking　one　from　his　own　pocket；　he　passed　it　to　her。
　〃I'm　all　right　now。〃　She　was　wiping　her　eyes。　〃It's　just　。　。　。　sometimes。〃
　He　told　her　softly；　〃If　it　helps；　honey　。　。　。　you　cry。　Any　time　you　want。〃
　She　smiled　wanly　and　returned　the　handkerchief。　〃I'm　afraid　I've　messed　it　all　up。〃　Then　her　voice　changed。　〃Johnny　。　。　。　lying　here　。　。　。　I've　been　thinking。〃
　〃What　about？〃
　〃I　want　you　to　go　to　medical　school。〃
　He　protested　gently。　〃Now；　honey；　we've　been　over　all　this　。　。　。〃
　〃No。〃　Elizabeth　stopped　him。　Her　voice　was　still　weak；　but　it　had　an　edge　of　determination。　〃I've　always　wanted　you　to；　and　now　Dr。　Coleman　says　you　should。〃
　〃Do　you　have　any　idea　what　it　would　cost？〃
　〃Yes；　I　do。　But　I　can　get　a　job。〃
　Gently　he　said；　〃With　a　baby？〃
　There　was　a　moment's　silence。　Then　Elizabeth　said　softly；　〃We　may　not　have　a　baby。〃
　The　door　opened　noiselessly　and　Nurse　Wilding　came　in。　She　glanced　at　Elizabeth's　red…rimmed　eyes；　then　discreetly　avoided　them。　To　John　she　said；　〃If　you　like；　Mr。　Alexander；　I'll　take　you　to　see　your　baby　now。〃
　
　After　he　had　left　John　Alexander　at　the　nursing　station　Dr。　Dornberger　had　headed　for　the　hospital　nursery。
　The　nursery　lay　at　one　end　of　a　long；　bright　corridor；　decorated　cheerfully　in　pastel　shades。　It　was　in　a　section　of　the　building　which　had　been　remodeled　two　years　earlier　and　reflected　the　newer　trend　to　spaciousness　and　light。　Approaching；　Dornberger　could　hear；　as　always；　the　cries　of　infants；　ranging　in　pitch　and　volume　from　full…lunged；　anguished　howls　to　tentative　falsettos。　More　out　of　habit　than　thought；　he　stopped　to　glance　through　the　thick　glass　paneling　which　screened　the　nursery's　main　area　on　three　sides。　Business；　he　reflected；　noting　the　preponderance　of　occupied　bassinets；　appeared　as　brisk　as　ever。　His　glance　ranged　over　the　orderly　rows。
　These；　he　thought；　were　the　normal；　healthy　animals　who　had　won；　for　the　moment；　their　battle　for　existence　and　in　a　few　days　more　would　go　outward　and　onward　into　the　waiting　world。　Their　destinations　were　the　home；　the　school；　the　strife　of　living；　the　petition　for　fame　and　possessions。　Among　these　were　some　who　would　taste　success　and　suffer　failure；　who；　barring　casualty；　would　enjoy　youth；　accept　middle　age；　and　grow　old　sadly。　These　were　those　for　whom　more　powerful　and　glossier　automobiles　would　be　designed；