ah.thefinaldiagnosis-第23节
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Watching the Lincoln move away； O'Donnell wondered how she had known。 Perhaps she had overheard him and Denise Quantz saying good night。 He had said politely that he hoped he would see her again。 She had answered； 〃I live in New York with my children。 Why don't you call me next time you're there？〃 Now O'Donnell wondered if； after all； he might take in that surgeons' congress in New York next month which a week ago he had decided not to attend。
Abruptly his mind switched to Lucy Grainger and； irrationally； he had a momentary sense of disloyalty。 He had gone from the sidewalk to the building entrance when his thoughts were broken by a voice saying； 〃Good night； Dr。 O'Donnell。〃
He looked around and recognized one of the surgical residents； Seddons。 There was a pretty brunette with him； and her face seemed familiar。 Probably one of the student nurses； he thought； she appeared about the age。 He smiled at them both and said 〃Good night。〃 Then； using his passkey； he went through the glass doors into the elevator。
Vivian said； 〃He looked worried。〃
Seddons answered cheerfully； 〃I doubt it； bright eyes。 When you get to where he is； most of the worrying is behind you。〃
The theater was over and now they were walking back to Three Counties。 It had been a good road show…a broad； noisy musical…at which they had both laughed a good deal and held hands； and a couple of times Mike had draped his arm around the back of Vivian's seat； allowing it to fall lightly； his fingers exploring her shoulders； and she had made no move to object。
Over dinner before the show they had talked of themselves。 Vivian had questioned Mike about his intentions to practice surgery； and he had asked her why she had bee a student nurse。
〃I'm not sure I can explain； Mike；〃 she had said； 〃except that nursing was something I always wanted to do as far back as I can remember。〃 She had told him that her parents at first had opposed the idea； then； on learning how strongly she felt； had given way。 〃I guess it's really that I wanted to do something for myself； and nursing was what appealed to me most。〃
Seddons had asked her； 〃Do you still feel that way？〃
〃Yes； I do；〃 she had said。 〃Oh； now and then…when you're tired sometimes； and you've seen some of the things in the hospital； and you're thinking about home…you wonder if it's worth it； if there aren't easier things to do； but I guess that happens to everybody。 Most of the time； though； I'm quite sure。〃 She had smiled； then said； 〃I'm a very determined person； Mike； and I've made up my mind to be a nurse。〃
Yes； he had thought； you are determined； I can believe that。 Glancing at Vivian covertly while she talked； he could sense an inner strength…a toughness of character behind what seemed at first a facade of gentle femininity。 Once more； as he had a day or two ago； Mike Seddons had felt his interest quicken； but again he warned himself： No involvements！ Remember； anything you feel is basically biological！
It was close to midnight now； but Vivian had signed the late book and there was no problem about hurrying in。 Some of the older nurses； who had done their training under spartan regimes； felt the students were allowed too much freedom nowadays。 But in practice it was seldom abused。
Mike touched her arm。 〃Let's go through the park。〃
Vivian laughed。 〃That's an old line I've heard before。〃 But she offered no resistance as he steered her to a gateway and into the park beyond。 In the darkness she could make out a line of poplars on either side； and the grass was soft underfoot。
〃I've a whole collection of old lines。 It's one of my specialties。〃 He reached down and took her hand。 〃Do you want to hear more？〃
〃Like what； for example？〃 Despite her self…assurance her voice held the slightest of tremors。
〃Like this。〃 Mike stopped and took both her shoulders； turning her to face him。 Then he kissed her fully on the lips。
Vivian felt her heart beat faster； but not so much that her mind could not weigh the situation。 Should she stop at once or let this go on？ She was well aware that if she took no action now； later it might not be so easy。
Vivian already knew that she liked Mike Seddons and believed she could e to like him a good deal more。 He was physically attractive and they were both young。 She felt the stirrings of desire within her。 They were kissing again and she returned the pressure of his lips。 The tip of his tongue came lightly into her mouth； she met it with her own and the contact set up a delicious tingling。 Mike tightened his arms around her； and through the thin summer dress she felt his thighs pressing tighter。 His hands were moving； caressing her back。 The right dropped lower； it passed lightly over the back of her skirt； then more heavily； each caress pulling her closer to him。 Against her own body she felt a bulkiness。 It stirred； intoxicatingly； heavenly。 She knew clearly； as if with a second mind； that if she were going to； this was the moment to break away。 Just a moment longer； she thought； just a moment longer！
Then suddenly it seemed as if this were an intermission； a release from other things around。 Closing her eyes she savored the seconds of warmth and tenderness； these past months there had been so few。 So many times since ing to Three Counties she had had to use control and self…discipline； her emotions pent up and tears unshed。 When you were young； inexperienced； and a little frightened； sometimes it was hard to do。 There had been so many things…the shocks of ward duty； pain； disease； death； the autopsy…and yet no safety valve to release the pressures building up inside。 A nurse； even a student nurse； had to see so much of suffering and give so much in care and sympathy。 Was it wrong； then； to grasp a moment of tenderness for herself？ For an instant； with Mike holding her； she felt the same solace and relief as when； years before； she had run as a little girl into her mother's arms。 Mike had released her a little now and was holding her slightly away。 He said； 〃You're beautiful。〃 Impulsively she buried her face in his shoulder。 Then he put a hand under her chin and their lips were together again。 She felt the same hand drop and； from outside her dress； move lightly over her breasts。 From every part of her body the desire to love and be loved welled up； madly； uncontrollably。
His hand was at the neckline of her dress。 It was made to open at the front； and a hook and eye secured the top。 He was fumbling for it。 She struggled。 Breathlessly； 〃No； Mike！ Please！ No！〃 She failed even to convince herself。 Her arms were around him tightly。 He had the dress open a little way now and she felt his hand move； then gasped at the contact as it cupped her own young； soft flesh。 He took the nipple gently between his fingers； and a shudder of ecstasy moved through her in a sensual wave。 Now she knew that it was too late to stop。 She wanted； craved him desperately。 Her lips to his ear； she murmured； 〃Yes； oh yes。〃
〃Darling； darling Vivian。〃 He was equally excited； she could tell from his whispered； breathless voice。
Womanlike； a moment's mon sense came through。 〃Not here； Mike。 There are people。〃
〃Let's go through the trees。〃 He took her hand and they moved closely together。 She felt a trembling excitement； a wondering curiosity to know what it would be like。 She dismissed any consequence； it seemed unimportant。 And Mike was a doctor； he would know how to be careful。
They had reached a small clearing surrounded by trees and shrubs。 Mike kissed her again； and passionately she returned his kisses； her tongue darting and fighting his。 So this is where it's to be； she thought。 The real thing。 Vivian was not a virgin； she had ceased to be while in high school； and there had been another incident in her first year of college； but neither experience had been satisfactory。 She knew this would be。 〃Hurry； Mike； please hurry。〃 She felt her own excitement transmit itself to him。
〃Over here； darling；〃 he said； and they moved toward the far side of the clearing。
Suddenly she felt a searing pain。 It was so intense at first she could not be sure where it was。 Then she knew it was her left knee。 Involuntarily she cried out。
〃What is it？ Vivian； what is it？〃 Mike turned to her。 She could see he was puzzled； not knowing what to make of it。 She thought： He probably thinks it's a trick。 Girls do this sort of thing to get out of these situations。
The first sharpness of pain had subsided a little。 But it still returned in waves。 She said； 〃Mike； I'm afraid it's my knee。 Is there a seat somewhere？〃 She flinched again。
〃Vivian；〃 he said； 〃you don't have to put on an act。 If you want to go back to the hospital； just say so and I'll take you。〃
〃Please believe me； Mike。〃 She took his arm。 〃It is my knee。 It hurts me terribly。 I have to sit down。〃
〃This way。〃 She could tell he was still skeptical； but he guided her back through the trees。 There was a park bench nearby； and they made for it。
When she had rested； Vivian said； 〃I'm sorry； I didn't do that on purpose。〃
He said doubtfully； 〃Are you sure？〃
She reached for his hand。 〃Mike…in there； I wanted to； as much as you。 Then this。〃 Again the pain。
He said； 〃I'm sorry； Vivian。 I thought 。 。 。〃
She said； 〃I kno
