sidneysheldon.astrangerinthemirror-第12节
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On the morning of the show； Toby waited until class was over and walked up to Karen； the fat actress who had sat next to him during the play。
〃Would you do me a favor？〃 he asked casually。
〃Sure； Toby。〃 Her voice was surprised and eager。
Toby stepped back to get away from her breath。
〃I'm gulling a gag on an old friend of mine。 I want you to telephone Clifton Lawrence's secretary and tell her you're Sam Goldwyn's secretary； and that Mr。 Goldwyn would like Mr。 Lawrence to e to the show tonight to see a brilliant new ic。 There'll be a ticket waiting for him at the box office。〃
Karen stared at him。 〃Jesus； old lady Tanner would have my head。 You know she never allows outsiders at the Workshop shows。〃
〃Believe me； it'll be all right。〃 He took her arm and squeezed it。 〃You busy this afternoon？〃
She swallowed； her breath ing a little faster。 〃Not not if you'd like to do something。〃
〃I'd like to do something。〃
Three hours later； an ecstatic Karen made the phone call。
The auditorium was filled with actors from the various classes and their guests； but the only person Toby had eyes for was the man who sat in an aisle seat in the third row。 Toby had been in a panic； fearful that his ruse would not work。 Surely a man as clever as Clifton Lawrence would see through the trick。 But he had not。 He was here。
A boy and girl were on stage now； doing a scene from The Sea Gull。 Toby hoped they would not drive Clifton Lawrence out of the theater。 Finally； the scene was finished； and the actors took their bows and left the stage。 It was Toby's turn。 Alice suddenly appeared at his side in the wings； whispering；
〃Good luck； darling〃； unaware that his luck was silting in the audience。
〃Thanks； Alice。〃
Toby breathed a silent prayer； straight ened his shoulders； bounced out on stage and smiled boyishly at the audience。
〃Hello； there。 I'm Toby Temple。 Hey； did you ever stop to think about names； and how our parents choose them？ It's crazy。 I asked my mother why she named me Toby。 She said she took one look at my mug； and that was it。〃 His look was what got the laugh。 Toby appeared so innocent and wistful； standing up there on that stage； that they loved him。 The jokes he told where terrible； but somehow that did not matter。 He was so vulnerable that they wanted to protect him； and they did it with their applause and their laughter。 It was like a gift of love that flowed into Toby； filling him with an almost unbearable exhilaration。 He was Edward G。 Robinson and Jimmy Cagney； and Cagney was saying； 〃You dirty rat！ Who do you think you're giving orders to？〃 And Robinson's； 〃To you； you punk。 I'm Little Caesar。 I'm the boss。 You're nuthin'。 Do you know what that means？〃 〃Yeah； you dirty rat。 You're the boss of nuthin'。〃 A roar。 The audience adored Toby。 Bogart was there； snarling； 〃I'd spit in your eye； punk； if my lip wasn't stuck over my teeth。〃 And the audience was enchanted。 Toby gave them his Peter Lorre。 〃I saw this little girl in her room； playing with it； and I got excited。 I don't know what came over me。 I couldn't help myself。 I crept into her room； and I pulled the rope tighter and tighter； and I broke her yoyo。〃 A big laugh。 He was rolling。 He switched over to Laurel and Hardy； and a movement in the audience caught his eye and he glanced up。 Clifton Lawrence was walking out of the theater。 The rest of the evening was a blur to Toby。
When the show was over； Alice Tanner came up to Toby。 〃You were wonderful； darling！ I。。。〃
He could not bear to look at her； to have anyone look at him。 He wanted to be alone with his misery； to try to cope with the pain that was tearing him apart。 His world had collapsed around him。 He had had his chance； and he had failed。 Clifton Lawrence had walked out on him； had not even waited for him to finish。 Clifton Lawrence was a man who knew talent； a professional who handled the best。 If Lawrence did not think Toby had anything。。。 He felt sick to his stomach。
〃I'm going for a walk；〃 he said to Alice。
He walked down Vine Street and Gower； past Columbia Pictures and RKO and Paramount。 All the gates were locked。
He walked along Hollywood Boulevard and looked up at the huge mocking sign on the hill that said； 〃hollywoodland〃。 There was no Hollywoodland。 It was a state of mind； a phony dream that lured thousands of otherwise normal people into the insanity of trying to bee a star。 The word Hollywood had bee a loadstone for miracles； a trap that seduced people with wonderful promises； siren songs of dreams fulfilled； and then destroyed them。 Toby walked the streets all night long； wondering what he was going to do with his life。 His faith in himself had been shattered and he felt rootless and adrift。 He had never imagined himself doing anything other than entertaining people； and if he could not do that； all that was left for him were dull； monotonous jobs where he would be caged up for the rest of his life。 Mr。 Anonymous。 No one would ever know who he was。 He thought of the long； dreary years； the bitter loneliness of a thousand nameless towns； of the people who had applauded him and laughed at him and loved him。 Toby wept。 He wept for the past and for the future。 He wept because he was dead。
It was dawn when Toby returned to the white stucco bungalow he shared with Alice。 He walked into the bedroom and looked down at her sleeping figure。 He had thought that she would be the open sesame to the magic kingdom。 But there was no magic kingdom。 Not for him。 He would leave。
He had no idea where he would go。 He was almost twenty seven years old and he had no future。 He lay down on the couch； exhausted。 He closed his eyes； listening to the sounds of the city stirring into life。 The morning sounds of cities are the same； and he thought of Detroit。
His mother。 She was standing in the kitchen cooking apple tarts for him。 He could smell her wonderful musky female odor mingled with the smell of apples cooking in butter； and she was saying； God wants you to be famous。 He was standing alone on an enormous stage； blinded by floodlights； trying to remember his lines。 He tried to speak but he had lost his voice。 He grew panicky。 There was a great rumbling noise from the audience； and through the blinding lights Toby could see the spectators leaving their seats and running toward the stage to attack him； to kill him。 Their love had turned to hate。 They were surrounding him； grabbing him； chanting； 〃Toby！ Toby！ Toby！〃 Toby suddenly jerked awake； his mouth dry with fright。 Alice Tanner was leaning over him； shaking him。 〃Toby！ Telephone。 It's Clifton Lawrence。〃
Clifton Lawrence's office was in a small； elegant building on Beverly Drive； just south of Wilshire。 French Impressionist paintings hung from the carved boiserie； and before the dark green marble fireplace a sofa and some antique chairs were grouped around an exquisite tea table。 Toby had never seen anything like it。 A shapely； redheaded secretary was pouring tea。
〃How do you like your tea； Mr。 Temple？〃 Mr。 Temple！
〃One sugar； please。〃
〃There you are。〃 A little smile and she was gone。
Toby did not know that the tea was a special blend imported from Fortnum and Mason； nor that it was steeping in Irish Baleek； but he knew it tasted wonderful。 In fact； everything about this office was wonderful； especially the dapper little man who sat in an armchair studying him。 Clifton Lawrence was smaller than Toby had expected； bur he radiated a sense of authority and power。
〃I can't tell you how much I appreciate your seeing me；〃 Toby said。 〃I'm sorry I had to trick you into 〃
Clifton Lawrence threw his head back and laughed。
〃Trick me？ I had lunch with Goldwyn yesterday。 I went to watch you last night because I wanted to see if your talent matched your nerve。 It did。〃
〃But you walked out 〃 Toby exclaimed。
〃Dear boy； you don't have to eat the entire jar of caviar to know if it's good； right？ I knew what you had in sixty seconds。〃
Toby felt that sense of euphoria building up in him again。 After the black despair of the night before； to be lifted to the heights like this； to have his life handed back to him …
〃I have a hunch about you； Temple；〃 Clifton Lawrence said。 〃I think it would be exciting to take someone young and build his career。 I've desided to take you on as a client。〃
The feeling of joy was exploding inside Toby。 He wanted to stand up and scream aloud。 Clifton Lawrence was going to be his agent！
〃。。。handle you on one condition；〃 Clifton Lawrence was saying。 〃That you do exactly as I tell you。 I don't stand for temperament。 You step out of line just once； and we're finished。 Do you understand？〃
Toby nodded quickly。 〃Yes； sir。 I understand。〃
〃The first thing you have to do is face the truth。〃 He smiled at Toby and said； 〃Your act is terrible。 Definitely bottom drawer。〃
It was as though Toby had been kicked in the stomach。 Clifton Lawrence had brought him here to punish him for that stupid phone call； he was not going to handle him。 He 。。。 But the little agent continued。
〃Last night was amateur night； and that's what you arean amateur。〃 Clifton Lawrence rose from his chair and began to pace。 〃I'm going to tell you what you have； and I'm goi
