pzb.drawingblood-第51节

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ng　acquaintance　with　sanity。　But　he　supposed　that　was　the　pot　calling　the　kettle　black。
　　Suddenly；　from　the　rest　room；　they　heard　Zach's　voice　raised　in　song。　Apparently　he　didn't　know　how　flimsy　the　walls　were；　or　didn't　care。　All　four　heads　turned　as　his　clear；　strong　tenor　came　soaring　through　the　pipes　and　particleboard：
　　〃OLD　MAN　RIVVERRRR　。。。　HE　DON'T　LIKE　COTTON　。　。　。　TIRED　O'LIVINNN'；　SCARED　O'ROTTIN'　。　。　。〃
　　Then　they　heard　the　toilet　flush；　and　Zach　came　back　into　the　bar；　saw　them　all　looking　at　him。　〃What？〃
　　〃I　didn't　know　you　could　sing；〃　said　Trevor。
　　Zach　shrugged；　trying　and　failing　to　hide　his　pleasure　at　being　the　center　of　attention。　〃Cajun　blood。　You're　lucky　I　don't　play　the　accordion。〃
　　Trevor　winced；　and　Zach　realized　that　he　had　just　given　away　an　important　piece　of　his　background　in　front　of　Terry；　R。J。；　and　Kinsey。　He　couldn't　tell　if　the　others　had　caught　it；　but　Kinsey　looked　surprised；　then　vaguely　pleased；　as　if　Zach　had　only　confirmed　a　suspicion　he'd　harbored　all　along。
　　Well；　Kinsey　hardly　seemed　likely　to　call　the　feds　on　him。　Of　course　Clifford　Stoll　was　an　aging　hippie　too；　and　he　had　busted　the　Chaos　puter　Club；　a　group　of　German　hackers　who　weren't　doing　anything　but　breaking　into　mickey…mouse　American　systems　and　trying　rather　half…assedly　to　sell　the　information　to　the　KGB。
　　Zach　swallowed　hard；　decided　to　pretend　his　slip　of　the　tongue　had　never　happened；　and　slid　into　the　booth　next　to　R。J。　His　sneaker　found　Trevor's　under　the　table　and　nudged　up　against　it。　〃I　can't　really　sing；〃　he　said　airily。　〃I　mean；　I've　never　been　in　a　band　or　anything。〃
　　〃Would　you　like　to？〃　rasped　Terry。
　　〃Well…〃　He　looked　across　the　table　at　Trevor；　who　was　drawing　patterns　in　the　moisture　left　by　the　beer　bottles　on　the　tabletop。　〃I　don't　know　how　long　I'm　going　to　be　in　town；〃　he　said；　and　Trevor　looked　up。
　　〃How　about　just　for　tonight？〃　R。J。　asked。　〃Think　you　could　learn　a　few　songs　that　fast？〃
　　〃Sure；　if　you　wrote　the　words　out　for　me　and　let　me　look　at　them　for　a　few　minutes。〃
　　〃Just　a　few　minutes？〃
　　〃Well；　then　I　could　rehearse　with　you　and　really　learn　the　songs。　But　I　can　memorize　the　words　real　fast。〃
　　〃Cool。〃　R。J。　and　Terry　nodded　at　each　other。　〃So　you　wanna　do　it？〃
　　〃What　kind　of　music　is　it　mostly？〃
　　〃It's　Gumbo；〃　said　R。J。　〃A　little　of　this；　a　little　of　that；　and　a　whole　lot　of　good。〃
　　〃Uh…〃　Zach　looked　again　at　Trevor；　who　just　shrugged　and　looked　away　with　a　small　smile。　Probably　he　thought　the　whole　thing　was　pretty　silly；　maybe　even　stupid。　Zach　knew　that　fronting　a　locally　popular　rock　band；　even　for　a　single　night　in　a　club　way　off　the　beaten　track；　might　not　be　the　smartest　course　of　action　for　a　wanted　fugitive。　But　he　couldn't　help　it：　the　idea　of　clutching　a　microphone；　dressed　all　in　black；　getting　to　slink　and　snarl　around　the　stage　for　an　hour　or　two　in　front　of　his　new　lover　and　a　big　crowd　of　hipster　freaks　had　already　seduced　him。
　　〃Yeah；〃　he　said。　〃I　want　to　do　it。〃
　　The　bar　phone　rang。　Kinsey　looked　up　from　his　account　books　to　answer　it；　spoke　for　a　moment；　then　put　the　receiver　down　on　the　bar。　〃Trevor？　It's　for　you。〃
　　Trevor　got　up　from　the　booth　frowning。　No　one　knew　he　was　here。　〃Who　is　it？〃　he　asked；　but　Kinsey　just　shook　his　head。　Trevor　picked　up　the　receiver。　〃Hello。〃
　　〃Hi；　Trevor？　This　is　Steve　Bissette　from　Taboo。〃
　　〃Uh；　hi。〃　Taboo　was　his　favorite　ics　anthology；　the　one　he　had　meant　to　submit　the　Bird　story　to。　Stephen　Bissette；　a　very　tasty　writer　and　artist　himself；　was　also　its　editor/publisher。　Trevor　had　no　idea　how　he　could　have　gotten　the　Sacred　Yew's　phone　number；　or　why　he　would　have　wanted　it。
　　〃Listen；　thanks　for　sending　me　'Incident　in　Birdland。'　I　think　it's　a　really　twisted　story　and　I　like　your　artwork　a　lot。〃
　　〃Thank　you；〃　Trevor　said　dazedly。　He　had　never　drawn　a　story　called　〃Incident　in　Birdland；〃　and　to　the　best　of　his　memory　had　never　yet　sent　anything　to　Taboo。　He'd　thought　of　calling　the　Bird　story　〃Incident　in　Jackson；〃　but　had　discarded　that　name　as　too　boring；　and　hadn't　titled　it　at　all　before　it　got　shredded。
　　〃I　really　love　the　ending；　where　the　zombie　musicians　crucify　the　sheriffs　and　burn　'em。　I　have　to　admit　I　didn't　see　that　ing。〃
　　〃Thanks；〃　Trevor　said　again。　He　glanced　over　at　the　booth。　Calvin　had　e　back　and　was　leaning　against　the　table　peeling　the　cellophane　off　his　Marlboros　with　elaborate　casualness；　but　Zach　was　looking　at　Trevor。　He　raised　his　eyebrows　questioningly。
　　〃Anyway；〃　said　Bissette；　〃I'd　like　to　buy　the　story。　I　just　wanted　to　make　sure　I　should　still　send　your　contract　and　check　to　this　address。〃
　　〃Could　you　read　it　back　to　me？〃
　　He　heard　papers　rustling。　〃Rural　Box　17；　Violin　Road　。　。　。〃
　　〃No。　Send　it　care　of　the　Sacred　Yew。〃　Trevor　read　the　address　off　a　past…due　water　bill　on　the　bartop。
　　〃Great。　And　listen；　I'd　like　to　see　more　of　your　work。　But　don't　send　your　originals　by　surface　mail　next　time；　okay？　It's　not　reliable。　Send　me　copies　or　FedEx。　Or　fax　'em　if　you　want。　I　can　give　you　the　number。〃
　　〃That's　okay。　I'll　send　copies。〃
　　They　said　good…bye；　and　Trevor　hung　up　feeling　as　if　he'd　just　smoked　two　or　three　of　Zach's　joints　all　by　himself：　dizzy；　slightly　elated；　and　disoriented　as　hell。
　　He　went　back　to　the　table　and　leaned　over　to　speak　in　Zach's　ear。　〃Can　I　talk　to　you　for　a　minute？〃
　　They　walked　out　through　the　silent　gloom　of　the　club；　past　the　softly　gleaming　graffiti　that　said　WE　ARE　NOT　AFRAID。　Trevor　wished　it　were　true。　The　sun　was　high　in　the　sky　overhead；　but　the　sidewalk　shimmered　with　the　heat　of　the　day。　The　sky　was　the　color　of　bleached　denim；　heavy　with　unshed　rain。
　　Trevor　recounted　the　surreal　conversation。　Zach's　eyes　grew　larger　behind　his　glasses；　and　he　leaned　against　the　building　shaking　his　head。　〃This　just　gets　more　and　more　fucked　up。〃
　　〃Did　you　see　the　pieces　of　the　story　after　that　morning？〃
　　〃I　thought　you　picked　them　up　and　threw　them　away。〃
　　〃I　thought　you　did。〃
　　They　stared　at　each　other；　confusion　and　fear　writ　large　on　their　faces。　At　last　Zach　said；　〃Are　you　sure　you　want　to　stay　there？〃
　　〃No。　But　I　have　to。〃
　　Zach　nodded。　Trevor　watched　him　for　a　moment；　then　asked　quietly；　〃Are　you　sure　you　want　to？〃
　　〃No。〃
　　〃Are　you　going　to　leave？〃
　　〃No。　Not　now。〃　Zach　took　Trevor's　hands　between　his　own。　〃But；　Trevor；　you　know　I　might　have　to　leave。　And　if　I　do；　I　won't　get　much　warning。〃
　　〃I　know。　But　I've　got　to　stay；　at　least　until　I　find　out　。　。　。〃
　　〃What？〃
　　〃The　reason　why　I'm　alive。〃
　　〃Trev　。　。　。〃　Zach　slid　his　hands　up　to　Trevor's　shoulders；　put　his　arms　around　Trevor's　neck。　〃What　if　there　is　no　reason？　What　if　he　was　just　crazy？〃
　　〃Then　I　have　to　know　that。〃
　　They　stood　on　the　sidewalk　embracing　in　the　hot　afternoon。　Zach's　body　felt　like　a　forting　old　friend　in　Trevor's　arms　by　now。　His　tension　ebbed　a　little。　〃So　are　you　going　to　sing　with　the　band？〃　he　asked。
　　〃Yeah。　Terry's　writing　out　some　lyrics　for　me。　You　mind　hanging　out　while　I　practice　with　them？〃
　　〃I　guess　not。　What　do　you　think　of　Calvin？〃
　　〃I　don't　know。　I　haven't　said　ten　words　to　him。　He's　okay；　I　suppose。〃
　　〃I　hate　him。〃
　　Zach　looked　up；　surprised；　and　saw　that　Trevor　meant　it。　〃How　e？〃
　　〃Because　of　how　he　looked　at　you。〃
　　Zach　laughed；　then　stopped　when　he　saw　Trevor's　face。　〃Don't　be　stupid；〃　he　said。　〃I'm　with　you。　Understand？　I'm　crazy　about　you；　Trevor。　You　have　zero　petition。〃
　　〃And　because　of　how　you　looked　at　him。〃
　　〃Goddammit！〃　Zach　grabbed　handfuls　of　Trevor's　T…shirt；　pushed　his　face　up　close　to　Trevor's。　〃Your　house　attacked　me　last　night。　It　locked　me　in　the　bathroom　and　made　me　watch　myself　dying　in　the　mirror。　I　don't　know　what　else　it　would　have　done　if　you　hadn't　e　in。　Now；　if　you　were　just　a　meaningless　fuck　to　me；　do　you　really　think　I'd　still　be　here？〃
　　〃I　don't　know！　How　should　I　know　what　you're　going　to　do？〃　Trevor　seized　Zach's　wrists；　pulled　Zach's　hands　off　his　shirt。　〃I've　never　been　in　love　with　anyone　before！　Remember？〃
　　〃Neither　have　I！〃
　　Their　eyes　locked　and　held。　They　stood　gripping　one　another's　arms；　breathing　hard；　neither　giving　an　inch。
　　This　isn't　just　about　having　someone　to　wake　up　next　to；　Trevor　realized。　It's　about　trusting　someone　else　not　to　hurt　you；　even　if　you're　sure　they　will。　It's　about　being　trustworthy；　and　not　leaving　when　it　gets　weird。　Zach's　eyes　were　very　wide；　intensely　green；　his　face　paler　than　ever。　Even　his　lips　had　gone　pale；　but　for　the　vivid　streak　of　his　healing　scar。　He　looked　mad　as　hell。　He　was　so　beautiful。
　　Trevor　realized　that　he　was　no　longer　staring　Zach　down；　but　studying　him；　working　to　mit　his　face　to　memory。　At　the　same　time　Zach's　anger　seemed　to　dissolve　as　quickly　as　it　had　e。　A　wide；　goofy　grin　replaced　it。　〃Hey！〃
　　〃What？〃
　　〃You　sold　a　story　to　Taboo！　That's　great！〃
　　〃Yeah；〃　said　Trevor。　〃But　I　wonder　what　name　I　sold　it　under。〃
　　
　　
　　　Chapter　Seventeen
　　
　　Eddy　woke　up　ravenous　on　Wednesday；　went　to　the　Cafe　du　Monde　for　coffee　and　beignets；　read　the　Times…Picayune　without　finding　any　new　clues；　and　returned　to　find　that　a　grimy　slip　of　paper　had