pzb.drawingblood-第49节

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ath　his　cheekbones　and　around　his　eyes。　〃You　can　do　a　search　for　either　a　name　or　an　address。　Let's　try　McGee；　Robert　。　。　。〃
　　〃I　think　the　bills　would've　been　in　Momma's　name。　Bobby's　credit　was　pretty　bad　by　the　time　we　left　Austin。〃
　　〃Okay　。　。　。　McGee；　Rosena　。　。　。〃
　　〃How　do　you　know　my　mother's　name？〃
　　Zach　looked　up。　His　eyes　were　wild；　his　mouth　slightly　open。　〃Huh？〃
　　〃I　never　told　you　her　name。〃
　　〃Oh。　Well　。。。　I　guess　。。。　uh　。。。　I　guess　I　read　those　autopsy　reports　in　your　bag。〃
　　Trevor　grabbed　Zach's　shoulder　and　shook　it。　He　felt　Zach　cringe　a　little；　and　the　feeling　was　more　gratifying　than　he　wanted　it　to　be。　〃Don't　you　have　ANY　FUCKING　RESPECT　FOR　PRIVACY？〃
　　〃No。〃　Zach　spread　his　hands　helplessly。　〃I'm　sorry；　Trev；　but　I　don't。　I　was　interested　in　you；　and　I　wanted　to　know　about　you。　The　information　was　there；　so　I　looked。〃
　　〃I　would　have　shown　you…〃
　　〃You　would　now。　You　wouldn't　have　yesterday。　And　I　wanted　to　know　then。〃
　　〃Great。〃　Trevor　shook　his　head。　〃Wele　to　the　instant…gratification　generation。〃
　　〃Guilty　as　charged。　You　wanna　look　at　these　electric　bills　or　not？〃
　　〃Did　you　find　one？〃
　　〃Not　yet。　Hang　on　。。。　nope；　nothing　in　either　of　your　parents'　names；　or　yours　either。　But　here's　the　account　for　the　Sacred　Yew。〃　Zach　gave　a　long；　low　whistle　of　appreciation。　〃Outstanding　balance　of　258。50　。　。　。　let's　shave　off　that　zero；　what　do　you　say？〃
　　〃I　don't　think　Kinsey　would…〃
　　〃Too　late。　25。85；　that　looks　better。　Let's　see　。。。　Buckett；　Terry　。　。　。　no；　he's　all　paid　up。〃
　　〃I　thought　we　weren't　going　to　change　anything！〃
　　〃Oh。〃　Zach　looked　up　at　Trevor；　grinning　like　a　possum。　〃I'm　just　raising　a　little　hell。　You　wanna　see　some　real　changes？〃
　　〃No！　Just　find　the　damn　house！〃
　　〃Okay；　okay。　Don't　get　your　panties　in　a　knot　。　。　。　Rural　Box　17；　Violin　Road；　Missing　Mile　。　。　。〃　Zach　typed　in　the　address。　〃Uh…huh　。　。　。　Service　cut　off　6/20/72。〃
　　〃So　that　means　。　。　。〃
　　〃That　means　the　house　is　making　its　own　juice。〃
　　The　kitchen　suddenly　flooded　with　stark　white　light；　and　they　instinctively　clapped　hands　over　their　eyes。　Just　as　they　peeked　through　their　fingers　and　saw　that　no　one　was　standing　near　the　switch；　the　room　was　plunged　back　into　darkness。　Then　the　light　again；　for　a　few　searing　seconds。　Then　black。
　　〃LEAVE　IT　ON！〃　Trevor　yelled。　〃GODDAMMIT；　LEAVE　IT　ON！〃
　　The　kitchen　stayed　dark。　Trevor　shoved　his　chair　back　so　hard　that　it　fell　over；　crossed　the　room　in　three　strides；　and　slapped　the　light　switch　on。
　　〃Leave　it；〃　he　said。　Zach　would　not　have　wanted　to　argue　with　that　voice。
　　He　logged　off　the　power　pany　system　and　shut　his　puter　down。　They'd　raised　enough　hell　for　tonight。
　　〃Let's　go　back　to　bed；〃　he　said。　What　he　really　wanted　to　say　was　Let's　get　the　fuck　out　of　here。　But　Trevor　had　been　waiting　to　do　this　for　twenty　years；　and　Zach　had　only　known　him　for　two　days。　If　he　wanted　to　be　with　Trevor；　this　was　where　he　would　have　to　be。　For　now；　anyway。
　　But　this　place　won't　get　to　keep　you；　he　thought　as　he　crawled　back　into　bed　with　Trevor；　settled　his　chin　into　the　hollow　of　Trevor's　shoulder；　draped　his　arm　across　Trevor's　bony　rib　cage。　When　all　this　is　done；　you're　ing　with　me。　That　much　I　swear。
　　
　　
　　　Chapter　Sixteen
　　
　　All　night　Trevor　felt　his　father's　eyes　watching　him　sleep；　trying　to　infiltrate　his　dreams　and　claim　them。　Bobby's　eyes　were　glazed　like　pale　blue　marbles；　beginning　to　cloud　over　yet　still　touched　with　some　last　spark　of　awareness；　some　hellish　half…life。　Had　Bobby　been　trapped　in　there；　in　that　body；　condemned　to　the　slow　secret　dissolution　of　the　grave？　Or　in　the　bathroom；　in　the　peeling　yellow　paint　and　cracked　porcelain；　imprinted　on　the　hot　stale　air；　woven　into　the　very　fabric　of　time　that　had　stopped　there　for　him？
　　WHY　DID　YOU　LEAVE　ME？　he　wanted　to　shriek　into　that　dead　face。　WHAT　WERE　YOU　THINKING？　DID　YOU　THINK　MY　LIFE　WOULD　TURN　OUT　GOOD？　OR　COULD　YOU　SEE　ALL　THE　PAIN；　AND　DID　YOU　WISH　IT　ON　ME　ANYWAY？
　　He　held　Zach　and　tried　to　lose　himself　in　the　warmth　of　solid　living　flesh；　in　the　small　sleeping　sounds　and　shifts　of　the　other　body　that　already　felt　familiar　next　to　his。　But　as　he　drifted　in　and　out　of　uneasy　sleep；　Trevor　saw　again　the　form　hanging　from　the　shower　curtain　rod；　the　rope　still　turning　in　tiny　aimless　circles；　stirred　by　some　current　or　by　the　tiny　movements　of　Bobby's　cooling　muscles　and　nerves。
　　He　had　only　seen　it　for　a　few　seconds；　and　even　then　it　had　seemed　to　shimmer；　as　if　he　were　viewing　it　directly　with　his　brain　rather　than　using　his　eyes。　Nonetheless；　all　the　details　he　had　blocked　from　that　long…ago　morning　had　been　driven　home　again。　The　lividity　of　the　hands　and　feet；　the　toes　and　fingertips　ready　to　burst　like　purple…black　grapes；　slow　drops　of　blood　oozing　out　from　under　the　nails。　The　stark　map　of　veins　across　the　chest　and　shoulders；　clearly　visible　through　the　drained　skin。　The　shrunken；　defenseless…looking　penis　nearly　hidden　in　his　father's　ginger　mat　of　pubic　hair。
　　Suddenly　awake；　his　heart　pounding　painfully；　Trevor　clutched　Zach　tighter。　Zach　had　not　seen　it。　Zach　was　his　talisman；　his　one　thread　to　any　possible　life　beyond　this　house。　He　hadn't　questioned　Trevor's　reasons　for　being　here；　hadn't　asked　to　leave　even　after　his　experience　in　the　bathroom。　He　had　obviously　been　terrified　when　Trevor　opened　the　door。　Yet　here　he　was　now。　Was　it　because　he　considered　the　house　some　sort　of　extension　of　Trevor；　and　trusted　that　it　would　not　hurt　him？
　　If　that　was　the　case；　Trevor　reflected；　then　Zach　had　more　faith　in　him　than　anyone　else　ever　had。
　　Well；　anyone　since　Bobby。
　　But　how　do　I　know　it　won't　hurt　you？　he　thought；　pressing　his　face　against　the　back　of　Zach's　neck　in　the　darkness；　tasting　salty　skin　against　his　lips；　feeling　velvety　hair　against　his　eyelids。　How　do　I　even　know　I　won't　hurt　you？　Your　flesh　feels　so　good　in　my　mouth；　between　my　fingers；　sometimes　I　just　want　to　keep　pulling　and　tearing　and　chewing。
　　He　fell　back　asleep　remembering　the　flavor　of　Zach's　blood　on　the　back　of　his　tongue；　imagining　Zach's　skin　splitting　beneath　his　fingers；　Zach's　heart　still　beating　in　his　gore…slicked　hands。
　　Then　suddenly　sunlight　was　streaming　through　the　dirty　panes　of　the　window；　trickling　into　the　corners　of　his　eyes。　His　head　ached　slightly；　felt　somehow　too　heavy　on　his　neck。　Trevor　arched　his　back　and　stretched；　then　rolled　his　head　on　the　pillow　to　look　over　at　Zach。
　　What　he　saw　made　him　suck　his　breath　in　hard　and　squeeze　his　eyes　shut　tight。　Zach　was　lying　on　his　back；　arms　splayed　out　above　his　head；　his　face　battered　but　serene；　very　pale。　In　the　center　of　his　chest；　just　above　the　arc　of　the　ribs；　was　a　ragged　raw…edged　crimson　hole。　Dark　blood　had　bubbled　out　of　it；　streaking　his　stomach　and　face；　drenching　the　sheet　around　him。
　　Trevor　could　not　make　himself　look　again。　Being　a　true　artist　means　never　averting　one's　eyes；　he　remembered　Crumb　writing；　though　he　was　pretty　sure　the　quote　had　originated　elsewhere。　But　he　couldn't　open　his　eyes。　Instead；　he　put　out　a　shaky　hand　and　felt　his　fingers　bump　up　against　Zach's　shoulder。　Slowly　he　ran　his　hand　over　the　corrugated　rise　of　the　rib　cage。　The　skin　was　damp；　nearly　wet；　but　whether　the　wetness　was　sweat　or　blood　Trevor　could　not　tell。　He　moved　his　fingers　across　Zach's　chest；　exploring　it　like　a　blind　man；　waiting　for　his　fingers　to　sink　into　that　raw　red　hole；　into　that　soup　of　muscle　and　organ　and　splintered　bone。
　　It　didn't　happen。　Instead　he　felt　Zach's　heart　beating　strong　and　steady　beneath　his　hand；　Zach　stirring　and　responding　to　his　touch；　Zach　whole　and　alive。　The　relief　that　flooded　through　him　was　as　hot　as　the　imagined　blood　had　been；　but　sweeter。
　　Zach　woke　with　Trevor's　hair　drifting　across　his　face；　Trevor's　warm　wet　mouth　wrapped　around　his　left　nipple；　Trevor's　hand　sliding　along　his　thigh　and　over　his　hip；　gently　teasing　his　already　half…erect　dick。　Thus；　he　did　not　immediately　recall　what　had　happened　in　the　bathroom。　When　it　did　e　to　him　it　felt　remote　and　unthreatening；　like　a　half…remembered　bad　dream。
　　Trevor　slid　down　and　started　sucking　him；　and　the　last　of　Zach's　low…grade　wine　hangover　dissolved　like　shreds　of　a　caul　and　disappeared。　Trevor's　tongue　made　his　skin　ripple　and　his　blood　quicken。　Trevor　was　no　jaded　lover　like　most　of　the　others　he'd　had。　They　knew　the　same　things　Zach　did：　how　to　satisfy　themselves；　how　to　coax　universal　physiological　reactions　from　whatever　body　wound　up　in　bed　with　them。　But　Trevor　was　learning　how　to　pleasure　him；　and　Zach　was　figuring　out　what　Trevor　liked；　and　every　time　they　woke　up　together　they　learned　it　all　over　again。　It　made　so　much　difference。
　　So　what　changed　your　mind；　Zachary？　he　heard　Eddy's　voice　asking　him；　a　little　sad；　a　little　reproachful。　What　made　you　realize　you　might　not　turn　into　a　pumpkin　if　you　had　sex　more　than　once　with　somebody　you　actually　gave　a　damn　about？
　　He　didn't　know。　He　could　only　look　back　with　awe　on　his　life　of　three　days　ago；　his　life　that　had　not　contained　Trevor　Black；　and　wonder　how　he　had　ever　lived　it。　What　had　the　world　been　to　him　without　these　feelings；　without　this　insane；