pzb.drawingblood-第46节

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ic　waste　and　a　crisp；　golden；　piss…like　undertone　。　。　。
　　He　smelled　the　warm　stale　beer　leaking　onto　the　asphalt；　saw　a　submerged　cigarette　butt　dissolving　in　one　of　the　little　puddles；　and　lost　it。　He　pushed　away　from　Trevor　and　sprawled　headlong　over　the　curb　and　vomited　in　Kinsey's　yard。　It　felt　marvelous；　like　the　release　of　some　crushing　pressure；　like　vile　crimson　poison　flooding　out　of　his　system。　He　felt　the　palms　of　his　hands　connecting　with　the　earth；　felt　energy　flowing　up　into　his　arms　and　through　his　body　in　huge；　slow；　steady　waves。　He　was　plugged　into　the　biggest　damn　battery　of　all。
　　When　he　was　able　to　raise　his　head；　Zach　saw　Trevor　staring　at　him　like　some　interesting　but　faintly　repulsive　bug。　Zach　crawled　away　from　his　puddle　of　vomit　and　sat　shakily　on　the　curb。　He　took　off　his　spattered　glasses；　wiped　them　on　the　tail　of　his　shirt；　Trevor　sat　down　next　to　him。
　　〃Do　you　know　how　many　times　I　saw　my　dad　get　sick　from　drinking？〃　Trevor　asked。
　　〃A　bunch；　I　guess。〃
　　〃No。　Just　once。　Sometimes　I　wonder　what　would　have　happened；　though；　if　he'd　had　a　few　more　shots　before　Momma　came　home　that　night。　What　if　he'd　made　himself　sick　and　passed　out？　What　if　Momma　could　tell　somehow　that　he'd　drugged　us？〃
　　〃It　sounds　like　Bobby　was　pretty　much　unstoppable。〃
　　〃Maybe。〃　Trevor　shrugged。　〃But　maybe　one　more　shot　would've　knocked　him　out。　Maybe　Momma　would　have　taken　me　and　Didi　away。〃
　　〃I　guess　it's　possible。〃　More　than　anything；　Zach　wanted　Trevor　to　put　an　arm　around　his　shoulders；　wanted　to　lean　into　Trevor's　solid　forting　warmth。　But　he　wasn't　sure　if　Trevor　was　mad　at　him。　〃I　used　to　hope　the　same　thing　when　my　parents　would　go　on　a　binge；〃　he　said。　〃I'd　think；　Just　a　couple　more　drinks　and　they'll　pass　out。　They'll　shut　up。　They　won't　hit　me　anymore。　But　once　they　got　on　a　tear；　they　usually　stayed　on　it　for　a　while。〃
　　〃And　you　caught　the　worst　of　it。〃
　　〃Yeah；　unless　they　had　something　better　to　do。〃
　　〃Then　how…〃　Trevor　turned　to　Zach；　spread　his　hands　wide。　The　expression　on　his　face　was　half　disgust；　half　genuine　bewilderment。　〃How　can　you　drink　now？　You　saw　what　it　did　to　them…how　can　you　do　it　too？〃
　　〃Simple。　It　doesn't　do　the　same　things　to　me　that　it　did　to　them。〃
　　〃But…〃
　　〃But　nothing。　Remember　what　you　said　last　night？　The　still　doesn't　have　a　choice　about　making　liquor；　the　choice　is　up　to　the　person　who　drinks　it？　Drinking　didn't　make　my　parents　act　like　that。　They　were　like　that。　I'm　not。〃
　　〃So　where　does　that　leave　my　father？〃　Trevor's　voice　was　quiet；　but　deadly。
　　〃Well　。　。　。〃　This　was　the　all…important　question；　Zach　sensed。　If　he　answered　it　wrong；　he　could　forget　about　drinking　around　Trevor…which　meant　he　could　forget　about　Trevor；　because　he　wasn't　going　to　start　letting　someone　else　do　his　thinking　for　him。　And　if　he　answered　it　too　wrong；　he　wondered　if　he　might　see　his　blood　decorating　Trevor's　knuckles　again。
　　〃Maybe　Bobby　was　trying　to　tamp　down　his　anger；〃　he　said。　〃Maybe　he　was　trying　to　make　himself　pass　out　before　your　mom　came　home。〃
　　〃You　think　so？〃
　　He　wants　to　believe　that。　Is　it　cruel　to　encourage　him？　I　don't　think　so；　hell；　I'd　want　to　believe　it　if　I　were　him。　It　might　even　be　true。　〃I　wouldn't　be　surprised；〃　said　Zach。　〃You　know　he　loved　you…〃
　　〃No　I　don't。　I　know　he　loved　them。　He　took　them　with　him。　He　left　me　here。〃
　　〃Bullshit！〃　Zach　didn't　care　about　giving　the　right　answer　now；　this　line　of　reasoning　made　him　too　angry　to　worry　about　getting　hit。　〃He　wasted　everything　they　ever　could　have　done；　could　have　been。　The　only　life　he　had　a　right　to　take　was　his　own。　He　robbed　them。〃
　　〃But　if　you　love　someone…〃
　　〃Then　you　want　them　to　be　alive。　What's　to　love　about　a　cold；　dead　body？〃　Zach　caught　himself　before　he　went　too　far　on　that　track。　〃Bobby　fucked　up　your　life　pretty　good；　but　at　least　he　let　you　keep　it。　He　must　have　loved　you　best。　If　you　were　dead；　twenty　years　of　drawings　never　could've　existed；　and　I　couldn't　be　loving　you；　and　you　couldn't　even　be　wondering　about　all　this…〃
　　〃What？〃
　　〃I　said；　you　couldn't　even　be　wondering…〃
　　〃No。　The　other　part。〃
　　〃I　couldn't　be　loving　you；〃　Zach　repeated　softly。　The　words　felt　so　strange　in　his　mouth；　they　had　slipped　out　before　he　had　even　known　he　was　going　to　say　them。　But　he　didn't　want　to　take　them　back。
　　〃I　love　you　too；〃　said　Trevor。　He　leaned　over　and　kissed　Zach　full　on　the　mouth。　Zach's　eyes　widened　and　he　tried　to　pull　away；　but　Trevor　held　him　tight。　He　felt　Trevor's　tongue　sliding　over　his　lips；　worrying　at　the　corners；　and　finally　he　gave　up　and　opened　his　mouth　to　Trevor。　They　had　already　exchanged　most　of　their　other　bodily　fluids；　he　supposed　a　little　puke　wouldn't　make　much　difference。
　　At　last　Trevor　relented　and　just　held　him。　Zach　felt　his　shakes　beginning　to　recede；　the　raw　burn　of　bile　fading　from　his　throat。
　　〃So　you're　really　on　the　run？〃　Trevor　asked　after　a　while。
　　Zach　nodded。
　　〃And　you　told　Kinsey　and　Terry　you　were　from　New　York？〃
　　〃Well；　I　don't　think　Kinsey　believes　me。　But　that's　what　I　told　them；　yeah。〃
　　〃You　want　to　talk　about　it？〃
　　〃Could　we　get　in　the　car　first？〃
　　〃Sure。〃　Trevor　reached　for　the　keys；　and　Zach　surrendered　them　without　argument。　〃We　ought　to　get　going　anyway；　before　those　rednecks　decide　to　e　back　and　kick　our　asses。〃
　　Zach　laughed。　〃Hell；　if　they　did；　Kinsey　could　just　e　out　brandishing　his　casserole　and　scare　'em　off。〃
　　
　　Trevor　got　a　feel　for　the　Mustang　quickly。　He　had　once　had　a　brief　job　driving　cars　from　place　to　place；　reasons　unspecified　and　questions　not　encouraged　by　the　management。　Most　of　them　had　been　scary　old　junkers　or　boring　Japanese　cracker…boxes；　but　this　car　was　fun　to　drive。　Its　engine　was　loud　but　smooth；　and　its　wheels　chewed　up　the　road　like　a　vicious　little　wildcat　worrying　a　blacksnake。
　　There　was　a　sour　taste　in　his　mouth　like　fruit　juice　gone　bad；　the　ghost　of　Zach's　recycled　wine。　To　Trevor　it　wasn't　much　different　from　having　the　flavor　of　Zach's　sweat　or　spit　or　e　on　his　lips。　If　you　loved　someone；　he　thought；　you　should　know　their　body　inside　and　out。　You　should　be　willing　to　taste　it；　breathe　it；　wallow　in　it。
　　He　got　off　Kinsey's　road；　found　his　way　to　the　highway；　then　took　a　side　road　that　wandered　off　into　the　country。
　　〃I　like　the　way　you　drive；〃　said　Zach。
　　〃What　do　you　mean？〃
　　〃Fast。〃
　　〃Just　talk　to　me。〃
　　〃It　has　to　do　with　puters；〃　Zach　warned。
　　〃I　figured　as　much；〃　Trevor　said　darkly。
　　They　drove　for　an　hour　or　more　around　the　outskirts　of　Missing　Mile；　past　dark　fields；　deserted　churches　and　railroad　crossings；　small　neat　houses　lit　warm　against　the　night。　They　passed　the　occasional　bright　store　or　honkytonk　joint；　swerved　to　miss　the　occasional　wet　splay　of　roadkill　on　the　hot　blacktop。
　　Zach　told　his　tale　without　interruption　from　Trevor；　save　for　an　occasional　question。　When　he　finished；　Trevor's　brain　was　spinning　with　unfamiliar　terminology；　with　arcane　concepts　he　had　never　believed　possible；　but　many　of　which　Zach　claimed　he　had　already　done。
　　〃You　mean　you　could　get　information　about　anybody…　and　change　it？　Could　you　get　information　about　me？〃
　　〃Sure。〃
　　〃How？〃
　　〃Well；　let's　see。〃　Zach　ticked　off　possibilities　on　his　fingers。　〃Do　you　have　any　credit　cards？〃
　　〃No。〃
　　〃Ever　had　a　phone　in　your　name？〃
　　〃No。〃
　　〃How　about　a　police　record？〃
　　〃Well　。　。　。　yeah。〃　Trevor　shuddered　at　the　memory。　〃I　got　picked　up　for　vagrancy　once　in　Georgia。　Spent　the　night　in　jail。〃
　　〃I　could　get　that　easy。　Erase　it；　too。　With　your　Social　Security　number　I　could　probably　get　your　school　and　social…services　records。　And　your　standing　with　the　IRS；　of　course。〃
　　〃I　doubt　the　IRS　has　ever　heard　of　me。〃
　　Zach　laughed　softly。　〃Don't　bet　on　it；　boyfriend。〃
　　They　took　a　roundabout　route　back　to　Violin　Road。　By　the　time　Trevor　parked　the　car　behind　the　house；　it　felt　very　late。　The　clouds　had　blown　over　and　the　sky　was　a　brilliant　inverted　bowl　of　stars。　Zach　saw　the　Big　Dipper；　the　Little　Dipper；　and　the　faint　soft　skirl　of　the　Milky　Way；　which　pretty　much　exhausted　his　store　of　astronomical　knowledge。　But　he　stared　up　into　the　universe　until　he　was　dizzy　with　infinity；　and　he　thought　he　could　see　the　great　bowl　slowly　revolving　around　them；　order　born　of　chaos；　meaning　born　of　void。
　　They　pushed　their　way　through　the　vines　and　entered　the　dark　living　room。　The　house　felt　very　calm　and　still。　Even　the　doorway　to　the　hall　had　gone　neutral。　It　was　as　if　some　charge　had　been　switched　off；　as　if　some　current　had　been　interrupted；　though　the　lights　still　worked。　They　brushed　their　teeth　in　the　kitchen　sink；　fitted　the　sheets　from　Potter's　Store　onto　the　mattress　in　Trevor's　room；　undressed　and　lay　together　in　the　restful　dark；　their　heads　touching　on　the　single　pillow；　their　hands　loosely　joined。
　　〃So　I　might　bring　ghosts　into　your　Me；〃　Trevor　mused；　〃and　you　might　bring　feds　into　mine。〃
　　〃I　guess　so。〃
　　Trevor　thought　about　it。　〃I　believe　I'd　take　my　chances　with　the　ghosts　if　I　were　you。〃
　　〃I　was　hoping　you'd　say　that。〃
　　And　I　guess　I'll　take　my　chances　with　the　long　arm　of　the　law；　Trevor　thought　as　he　rolled　over