pzb.drawingblood-第33节

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　　He　was　surprised　at　how　good　talking　felt。　Not　since　he　stopped　letting　blood　from　his　arm　with　a　razor　blade　had　he　felt　such　a　wele　sense　of　release；　of　poison　draining　from　his　system。
　　He　wasn't　sure　why　those　two　words　Zach　had　spoken　…　my　parents…had　opened　him　like　this。　Certainly　there　had　been　other　kids　at　the　Home　who　had　taken　plenty　of　abuse　from　their　parents；　and　probably　would　have　told　Trevor　about　it　if　he　had　asked。　But　those　kids　had　not　appeared　in　the　house　of　his　childhood　like　embodiments　of　someone　he　had　drawn。　Those　kids　had　not　stood　their　ground　and　talked　him　out　of　。。。　whatever　he　had　been　about　to　do。　He　had　never　gripped　those　kids'　thin　wrists　hard　enough　to　leave　red　impressions　of　his　fingers　in　the　flesh。
　　And　if　he　had；　he　doubted　they　would　have　stayed　around　to　hear　his　reasons　why。
　　
　　Trevor's　face　was　hidden　behind　curtains　of　long　hair；　and　his　voice　was　so　low　that　Zach　had　to　lean　in　close　to　hear　it。　Trevor　kept　sneaking　looks　at　Zach　as　if　to　gauge　his　reaction；　but　would　not　look　him　full　in　the　face。
　　Slowly　the　tale　unfolded；　beginning　with　the　bloody　history　that　had　been　branded　upon　the　house　before　Zach　was　even　born。　He　would　have　heard　much　of　this　in　town　soon　enough；　Trevor　said　rather　bitterly；　word　was　no　doubt　getting　around　Missing　Mile　that　the　last　survivor　of　the　murder　family　had　e　home。　He　said　it　just　like　that；　the　murder　family；　as　if　he　knew　that　was　what　they　would　be　called　in　the　local　legends　that　must　have　unfolded　around　them。　But　Trevor's　own　story　got　weirder　and　weirder　until　hammers　were　appearing　from　thin　air　and　drawings　were　undergoing　sinister　mutation　betwixt　hand　and　page。
　　Zach　kept　nodding　his　encouragement。　He　was　far　too　fascinated　to　let　Trevor　quit。　Back　in　his　familiar　French　Quarter；　back　in　his　forting　little　corner　of　cyberspace；　Zach　thought　he　had　seen　strange　things；　maybe　even　done　some。　But　he　had　never　met　anyone　who　had　lived　through　experiences　like　this；　anyone　who　had　taken　such　damage　and　remained　among　the　walking　wounded。
　　Eventually　Trevor's　flood　of　words　ran　down　and　he　sat　staring　out　through　the　drifting；　glistening　fronds　of　the　willow。　Through　the　undergrowth　one　weathered　corner　of　the　house　was　just　visible；　paler　gray　than　the　threatening　afternoon　sky。　Zach　watched　a　single　raindrop　making　its　way　down　the　knobby　ridge　of　Trevor's　spine。　At　last　Trevor　said；　〃I　don't　know　why　I　told　you　all　that。　You　still　must　think　I'm　crazy。〃
　　〃Maybe；〃　Zach　told　him；　〃but　I　don't　hold　it　against　you。〃
　　It　was　obvious　no　one　had　ever　said　such　a　thing　to　Trevor　before。　He　didn't　know　what　to　make　of　it。　He　looked　wary；　then　surprised；　and　finally　tried　a　tentative　smile。
　　Zach　thought　Trevor　might　indeed　be　quite　insane；　but　was　developing　a　healthy　respect　for　him　in　spite　of　it。　Terry；　Victoria；　and　Kinsey　were　fun　to　hang　out　with；　but　if　he　was　going　to　stay　in　Missing　Mile　for　any　length　of　time；　he　wanted　Trevor　for　his　first　friend。
　　He'd　have　to　sublimate　the　attraction；　though。　He'd　done　it　before；　once　he　realized　that　he　actually　liked　someone。　He　didn't　think　it　would　be　a　problem：　whereas　Terry　gave　off　the　wrong　kind　of　pheromones；　Trevor　didn't　seem　to　give　off　any。　It　was　as　if　he　had　no　sexual　awareness　at　all。　Zach　caught　himself　wondering　how　hard　it　would　be　to　teach　him。
　　He　watched　the　raindrop　finish　its　navigation　of　Trevor's　spine　and　disappear　beneath　the　waistband　of　his　jeans。　There　was　a　dusting　of　the　palest　golden　hair　there；　slightly　damp；　right　in　the　hollow　of　the　back　。　。　。
　　He　bit　his　lip　painfully　and　realized　that　Trevor　was　asking　him　something。　〃Huh？〃
　　〃I　asked　what　you　do。〃
　　〃Oh。〃　After　the　raw　honesty　Trevor　had　shown　him；　Zach　could　not　entirely　bring　himself　to　lie。　〃Well；　I　work　with　puters。〃　With　great　relief　he　watched　Trevor's　eyes　glaze　over。　It　was　the　look　of　the　willful　puter　illiterate；　plete　with　the　hasty　little　nod　that　said　that's　enough；　that's　all　I　need　to　know；　please　don't　start　talking　about　bits　and　bytes　and　drives　and　megarams　and　all　that　inprehensible　mop。　Zach　had　seen　that　look　hundreds　of　times；　weled　it。　It　meant　he　wouldn't　have　to　answer　any　unfortable　questions。
　　He　dug　into　his　pocket　and　found　his　last　prerolled　joint；　flattened　and　mauled　but　more　or　less　intact。　〃Do　you　mind？〃　he　asked。　Trevor　shook　his　head。　Zach　produced　one　of　the　lighters　Leaf　had　given　him　and　set　it　afire。
　　Trevor's　nostrils　flared　as　the　smoke　drifted　past　his　face。　〃I　better　not；〃　he　said　when　Zach　offered　him　the　joint；　though　Zach　saw　his　fingers　twitch　as　if　wanting　to　reach　for　it。　〃I　smoked　some　pot　yesterday　and　almost　passed　out。　I'm　not　used　to　it。〃
　　Zach　gathered　all　his　considerable　nerve。　〃Want　a　shotgun？〃
　　〃What's　that？〃
　　Oh　god。　How　to　explain　a　shotgun　without　making　it　sound　like　the　obvious　scam　it　is？　I'm　not　going　to　take　this　any　further；　I'm　really　not；　I　LIKE　him；　dammit；　but　there's　no　harm　in　a　little　innocent　frustration。　〃It's；　uh；　where　one　person　breathes　in　the　smoke　and　then　blows　it　into　the　other　person's　mouth。　See；　my　lungs　filter　the　smoke　before　you　get　it；　so　it　won't　be　as　strong。〃　Yeah；　right。　Heavy　science　gain'　down。
　　Trevor　hesitated。　Zach　tried　not　to　slip　into　social…engineering　mode；　but　he　thought　he　could　feel　the　power　radiating　in　great　joyous　waves　through　his　brain　now。　He　felt　as　if　he　could　convince　absolutely　anybody　of　absolutely　anything。　〃C'mon；〃　he　said。　〃Pot's　good　for　you。　It　relaxes　you；　clears　out　your　brain。〃
　　Trevor　eyed　the　smoldering　joint；　then　shook　his　head。　〃No；　I　better　not。〃
　　〃What？〃　Zach　couldn't　hide　his　surprise。　He　had　known　Trevor　would　say　yes　as　surely　as　he'd　known　Leaf　would　give　him　those　damn　lighters。　〃Why？〃
　　Trevor　studied　Zach's　face　as　intently　as　anyone　ever　had；　more　intently　than　most　of　his　one…night　lovers　had　done。　Zach　felt　almost　unfortable　under　the　scrutiny　of　those　striking；　serious　eyes。　〃You　really　want　me　to　do　it；　don't　you？〃
　　Zach　shrugged；　but　he　felt　Trevor　had　looked　straight　through　his　skull　to　the　whorls　of　his　devious；　treacherous　brain。　〃It's　more　fun　getting　stoned　with　somebody；　that's　all。〃
　　Another　long　searching　look。　〃Okay　then。　I'll　take　one。〃　Zach　thought　Trevor　might　as　well　have　added；　But　don't　fuck　with　me　too　much；　hear？　He　realized　that　his　heart　was　beating　more　rapidly　than　ever；　that　his　blood　was　surging　and　his　head　felt　like　a　helium　balloon　ascending　fast　into　an　achingly　blue；　cloudless　sky。　No　one　ever　got　to　him　this　way；　this　was　the　way　he　liked　to　make　other　people　feel。
　　He　took　a　deep　hit　off　the　joint；　held　it　in　for　a　second；　then　leaned　over　and　exhaled　a　long　steady　stream　of　smoke　into　Trevor's　open　mouth。　Their　lips　barely　grazed。　Trevor's　felt　as　soft　as　velvet；　as　rain。　Ribbons　of　smoke　twined　from　the　corners　of　their　mouths；　swathed　their　heads　in　an　amorphous　blue…gray　veil。　Zach　kept　his　eyes　open　and　saw　that　Trevor　had　closed　his；　as　if　being　kissed。　His　eyelashes　were　a　dark　ginger　color；　the　pale　parchment　of　his　eyelids　shot　through　with　the　most　delicate　lavender　tracery　of　veins。　Zach　thought　of　putting　his　mouth　against　those　eyelids；　of　feeling　the　lashes　silky　against　his　lips；　the　secret　caged　movement　of　the　eyeball　beneath　his　tongue　。　。　。
　　。　。　。　and　he　was　doing　a　damn　fine　job　of　sublimating　his　attraction；　wasn't　he？
　　He　pulled　back；　shaken。　Once　he　decided　he　wasn't　going　to　be　turned　on　by　someone；　he　just　wasn't　anymore。　At　least　that　was　how　it　had　always　been。　He　let　himself　have　anyone　he　wanted　unless　he　had　good　reason　not　to　want　them；　and　his　libido　had　always　paid　back　by　giving　him　plete　control。
　　Until　now。
　　Trevor　lay　back　on　the　damp　grass　and　put　a　hand　to　his　forehead。　Zach　saw　pine　needles　snarled　in　his　long　hair；　fresh　dirt　under　his　fingernails；　tiny　beads　of　water　trapped　in　the　fine　hairs　around　his　nipples。
　　〃So；〃　said　Trevor；　blowing　out　his　shotgun；　〃how　did　your　parents　try　to　kill　you？〃
　　〃My　dad　beat　the　shit　out　of　me　for　fourteen　years。　My　mom　mostly　just　used　her　mouth。〃
　　〃Why　did　you　stay？〃
　　Zach　shrugged。　〃Nowhere　else　to　go。〃　From　the　corner　of　his　eye　he　saw　Trevor　nod。　〃Sure；　I　could　have　run　away　when　I　was　nine　or　ten；　but　there　would've　been　a　lifetime　of　stiff　dicks　in　Town　Cars　waiting　for　me。　I　waited　until　I　knew　I　could　take　care　of　myself　some　way　besides　giving　blowjobs。　Then　I　ran。　Just　disappeared　into　another　part　of　the　city。　They　never　tried　to　find　me。〃
　　〃What　city？〃
　　Zach　hesitated。　He　still　didn't　want　to　lie　to　Trevor；　but　he　couldn't　start　giving　different　stories　to　different　people。
　　〃You　don't　have　to　tell　me　if　you　don't　want　to。〃
　　〃New　Orleans；〃　Zach　said；　not　even　sure　why。　〃But　don't　tell　anybody。〃
　　〃Are　you　on　the　run　or　something？〃
　　Zach's　silence　spoke　volumes。
　　〃It's　okay；〃　said　Trevor。　〃I've　been　running　from　this　place　for　seven　years。　But　you　know；　you　get　sick　of　it　after　a　while。〃
　　〃Yeah；　so　you　e　back　and　it　tries　to　make　you　bash　people's　brains　out。〃
　　Trevor　shrugged。　〃I　wasn't　expecting　pany。〃
　　Zach　started　laughing。　He　couldn't　help　it。　This　guy　was　so　fucked　up