tp.lightfantastic-第31节

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　A　head　appeared　over　the　edge　of　the　counter。　It　looked　angry。
　'I　hope　you　were　intending　to　pay　for　that；'　it　said　nastily。　Its　expression　suggested　that　it　expected　Rincewind　to　say　yes；　and　that　it　wouldn't　believe　him。
　'This？'　said　Bethan。　'I　wouldn't　buy　this　if　you　threw　in　a　hatful　of　rubies　and　…'
　'I'll　buy　it。　How　much？'　said　Twoflower　urgently；　reaching　into　his　pockets。　His　face　fell。
　'Actually；　I　haven't　got　any　money；'　he　said。　'It's　in　my　Luggage；　but　I　…'
　There　was　a　snort。　The　head　disappeared　from　behind　the　counter；　and　reappeared　from　behind　a　display　of　toothbrushes。
　It　belonged　to　a　very　small　man　almost　hidden　behind　a　green　apron。　He　seemed　very　upset。
　'No　money？'　he　said。　'You　e　into　my　shop　…'
　'We　didn't　mean　to；'　said　Twoflower　quickly。　'We　didn't　notice　it　was　there。'
　'It　wasn't；'　said　Bethan　firmly。　'It's　magical；　isn't　it？'
　The　small　shopkeeper　hesitated。
　'Yes；'　he　reluctantly　agreed。　'A　bit。'
　'A　bit？'　said　Bethan。　'A　bit　magical？'
　'Quite　a　bit；　then；'　he　conceded；　backing　away；　and；　'All　right；'　he　agreed；　as　Bethan　continued　to　glare　at　him。　'It's　magical。　I　can't　help　it。　The　bloody　door　hasn't　been　and　gone　again；　has　it？'
　'Yes；　and　we're　not　happy　about　that　thing　in　the　ceiling。'
　He　looked　up；　and　frowned。　Then　he　disappeared　through　a　little　beaded　doorway　half…hidden　among　the　merchandise。　There　was　a　lot　of　clanking　and　whirring；　and　the　black　globe　disappeared　into　the　shadows。　It　was　replaced　by；　in　succession；　a　bunch　of　herbs；　a　mobile　advertising　something　Twoflower　had　never　heard　of　but　which　was　apparently　a　bedtime　drink；　a　suit　of　armour　and　a　stuffed　crocodile　with　a　lifelike　expression　of　extreme　pain　and　surprise。
　The　shopkeeper　reappeared。
　'Better？'　he　demanded。
　'It's　an　improvement；'　said　Twoflower；　doubtfully。　'I　liked　the　herbs　best。'
　At　this　point　Rincewind　groaned。　He　was　about　to　wake　up。
　

　There　have　been　three　general　theories　put　forward　to　explain　the　phenomenon　of　the　wandering　shops　or；　as　they　are　generically　known；　tabernae　vagantes。
　The　first　postulates　that　many　thousands　of　years　ago　there　evolved　somewhere　in　the　multiverse　a　race　whose　single　talent　was　to　buy　cheap　and　sell　dear。　Soon　they　controlled　a　vast　galactic　empire　or；　as　they　put　it；　Emporium；　and　the　more　advanced　members　of　the　species　found　a　way　to　equip　their　very　shops　with　unique　propulsion　units　that　could　break　the　dark　walls　of　space　itself　and　open　up　vast　new　markets。　And　long　after　the　orlds　of　the　Emporium　perished　in　the　heat　death　of　their　particular　universe；　after　one　last　defiant　fire　sale；　the　wandering　starshops　still　ply　their　trade；　eating　their　way　through　the　pages　of　spacetime　like　a　worm　through　a　three…volume　novel。
　The　second　is　that　they　are　the　creation　of　a　sympathetic　Fate；　charged　with　the　role　of　supplying　exactly　the　right　thing　at　the　right　time。
　The　third　is　that　they　are　simply　a　very　clever　way　of　getting　around　the　various　Sunday　Closing　acts。
　All　these　theories；　diverse　as　they　are；　have　two　things　in　mon。　They　explain　the　observed　facts；　and　they　are　pletely　and　utterly　wrong。
　

　Rincewind　opened　his　eyes　and　lay　for　a　moment　looking　up　at　the　stuffed　reptile。　It　was　not　the　best　thing　to　see　when　awakening　from　troubled　dreams　。　。　。
　Magic！　So　that's　what　it　felt　like！　No　wonder　wizards　didn't　have　much　truck　with　sex！
　Rincewind　knew　what　orgasms　were；　of　course；　he'd　had　a　few　in　his　time；　sometimes　even　in　pany；　but　nothing　in　his　experience　even　approximated　to　that　tight；　hot　moment　when　every　nerve　in　his　body　streamed　with　blue…white　fire　and　raw　magic　had　blazed　forth　from　his　fingers。　It　filled　you　and　lifted　you　and　you　surfed　down　the　rising；　curling　wave　of　elemental　force。　No　wonder　wizards　fought　for　power　。　。　。
　And　so　on。　The　Spell　in　his　head　had　been　doing　it；　though；　not　Rincewind。　He　was　really　beginning　to　hate　that　Spell。　He　was　sure　that　if　it　hadn't　frightened　away　all　the　other　spells　he'd　tried　to　learn　he　could　have　been　a　decent　wizard　in　his　own　right。　'
　Somewhere　in　Rincewind's　battered　soul　the　worm　of　rebellion　flashed　a　fang。
　Right；　he　thought。　You're　going　back　into　the　Octavo；　first　chance　I　get。
　He　sat　up。
　'Where　the　hell　is　this？'　he　said；　grabbing　his　head　to　stop　it　exploding。
　'A　shop；'　said　Twoflower　mournfully。
　'I　hope　it　sells　knives　because　I　think　I'd　like　to　cut　my　head　off；'　said　Rincewind。　Something　about　the　expression　of　the　two　opposite　him　sobered　him　up。
　'That　was　a　joke；'　he　said。　'Mainly　a　joke；　anyway。　Why　are　we　in　this　shop？'
　'We　can't　get　out；'　said　Bethan。
　'The　door's　disappeared；'　added　Twoflower　helpfully。
　Rincewind　stood　up；　a　little　shakily。
　'Oh；'　he　said。　'One　of　those　shops？'
　'All　right；'　said　the　shopkeeper　testily。　'It's　magical；　yes；　it　moves　around；　yes；　no；　I'm　not　telling　you　why　…'
　'Can　I　have　a　drink　of　water；　please？'　said　Rincewind。
　The　shopkeeper　looked　affronted。
　'First　no　money；　then　they　want　a　glass　of　water；'　he　snapped。　'That's　just　about　…'
　Bethan　snorted　and　strode　across　to　the　little　man；　who　tried　to　back　away。　He　was　too　late。
　She　picked　him　up　by　his　apron　straps　and　glared　at　him　eye　to　eye。　Torn　though　her　dress　was；　disarrayed　though　her　hair　was；　she　became　for　a　moment　the　symbol　of　every　woman　who　has　caught　a　man　with　his　thumb　on　the　scales　of　life。
　'Time　is　money；'　she　hissed。　'I'll　give　you　thirty　seconds　to　get　him　a　glass　of　water。　I　think　that's　a　bargain；　don't　you？'
　'I　say；'　Twoflower　whispered。　'She's　a　real　terror　when　she's　roused；　isn't　she？'
　'Yes；'　said　Rincewind'；　without　enthusiasm。
　'All　right；　all　right；'　said　the　shopkeeper；　visibly　cowed。
　'And　then　you　can　let　us　out；'　Bethan　added。
　'That's　fine　by　me；　I　wasn't　open　for　business　anyway；　I　just　stopped　for　a　few　seconds　to　get　my　bearings　and　you　barged　in！'
　He　grumbled　off　through　the　bead　curtains　and　returned　ith　a　cup　of　water。
　'I　washed　it　out　special；'　he　said；　avoiding　Bethan's　gaze。
　Rincewind　looked　at　the　liquid　in　the　cup。　It　had　probably　been　clean　before　it　was　poured　in；　now　drinking　it　would　be　genocide　for　thousands　of　innocent　germs。
　He　put　it　down　carefully。
　'Now　I'm　going　to　have　a　good　wash！'　stated　Bethan；　and　stalked　off　through　the　curtain。
　The　shopkeeper　waved　a　hand　vaguely　and　looked　appealingly　at　Rincewind　and　Twoflower。
　'She's　not　bad；'　said　Twoflower。　'She's　going　to　marry　a　friend　of　ours。'
　'Does　he　know？'
　'Things　not　so　good　in　the　starshop　business？'　said　Rincewind；　as　sympathetically　as　he　could　manage。
　The　little　man　shuddered。　'You　wouldn't　believe　it；'　he　said。　'I　mean；　you　learn　not　to　expect　much；　you　make　a　sale　here　and　there；　it's　a　living；　you　know　what　I　mean？　But　these　people　you've　got　these　days；　the　ones　with　these　star　things　painted　on　their　faces；　well；　I　hardly　have　time　to　open　the　store　and　they're　threatening　to　burn　it　down。　Too　magical；　they　say。　So　I　say；　of　course　magical；　what　else？'
　'Are　there　a　lot　of　them　about；　then？'　said　Rincewind。
　'All　over　the　Disc；　friend。　Don't　ask　me　why。'
　'They　believe　a　star　is　going　to　crash　into　the　Disc；'　said　Rincewind。
　'Is　it？'
　'Lots　of　people　think　so。'
　That's　a　shame。　I've　done　good　business　here。　Too　magical；　they　say！　What's　wrong　with　magic；　that's　what　I'd　like　to　know？'
　'What　will　you　do？'　said　Twoflower。
　'Oh；　go　to　some　other　universe；　there's　plenty　around；'　said　the　shopkeeper　airily。　'Thanks　for　telling　me　about　the　star；　though。　Can　I　drop　you　off　somewhere？'
　The　Spell　gave　Rincewind's　mind　a　kick。
　''Er；　no；'　he　said；　'I　think　perhaps　we'd　better　stay。　To　ee　it　through；　you　know。'
　'You're　not　worried　about　this　star　thing；　then？'
　'The　star　is　life；　not　death；'　said　Riricewind。
　'How's　that？'
　'How's　what？'
　'You　did　it　again！'　said　Twoflower；　pointing　an　accusing　finger。　'You　say　things　and　then　don't　know　you've　said　them！'
　'I　just　said　we'd　better　stay；'　said　Rincewind。
　'You　said　the　star　was　life；　not　death；'　said　Twoflower。　'Your　voice　went　all　crackly　and　far　away。　Didn't　it？'　He　turned　to　the　shopkeeper　for　confirmation。
　'That's　true；'　said　the　little　man。　'I　thought　his　eyes　crossed　a　bit；　too。'
　'It's　the　Spell；　then；'　said　Rincewind。　'It's　trying　to　take　me　over。　It　knows　what's　going　to　happen；　and　I　think　it　wants　to　go　to　Ankh…Morpork。　I　want　to　go　too；'　he　added　defiantly。　'Can　you　get　us　there？'
　'Is　that　the　big　city　on　the　Ankh？　Sprawling　place；　smells　of　cesspits？'
　'It　has　an　ancient　and　honourable　history；'　said　Rincewind；　his　voice　stiff　with　injured　civic　pride。
　'That's　not　how　you　described　it　to　me；'　said　Twoflower。　'You　told　me　it　was　the　only　city　that　actually　started　out　decadent。'
　Rincewind　looked　embarrassed。　Yes；　but；　well；　it's　my　home；　don't　you　see？'
　'No；'　said　the　shopkeeper；　'not　really。　I　always　say　home　is　where　you　hang　your　hat。'
　'Um；　no；'　said　Twoflower；　always　anxious　to　enlighten。　'Where　you　hang　your　hat　is　a　hatstand。　A　home　is　…'
　'I'll　just　go　and　see　about　setting　you　on　your　way；'　said　the　shopkeeper　hurriedly；　as　Bethan　came　in。　He　scooted　past　her。
　Twoflower　followed　him。
　On　the　other　side　o