tp.lightfantastic-第14节

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


nd　stuff　just　boils　down　to　sex　and　violence；　usually　at　the　same　time。'
　To　his　amazement　Twoflower's　lip　was　trembling。　Twoflower　didn't　just　look　at　the　world　through　rose…tinted　spectacles；　Rincewind　knew　…　he　looked　at　it　through　a　rose…tinted　brain；　too；　and　heard　it　through　rose…tinted　ears。
　The　chant　was　rising　inexorably　to　a　crescendo。　The　head　druid　was　testing　the　edge　of　his　sickle　and　all　eyes　were　turned　to　the　finger　of　stone　on　the　snowy　hills　beyond　the　circle　where　the　moon　was　due　to　make　a　guest　appearance。
　'It's　no　use　you…'
　But　Rincewind　was　talking　to　himself。
　

　However；　the　chilly　landscape　outside　the　circle　was　not　entirely　devoid　of　life。　For　one　thing　a　party　of　wizards　was　even　now　drawing　near；　alerted　by　Trymon。
　But　a　small　and　solitary　figure　was　also　watching　from　the　cover　of　a　handy　fallen　stone。　One　of　the　Disc's　greatest　legends　watched　the　events　in　the　stone　circle　with　considerable　interest。
　He　saw　the　druids　circle　and　chant；　saw　the　chief　druid　I　raise　his　sickle　。　。　。'
　Heard　the　voice。
　'I　say！　Excuse　me！　Can　I　have　a　word？'
　

　Rincewind　looked　around　desperately　for　a　way　of　escape。　There　wasn't　one。　Twoflower　was　standing　by　the　altar　stone　with　one　finger　in　the　air　and　an　attitude　of　polite　determination。
　Rincewind　remembered　one　day　when　Twoflower　had　thought　a　passing　drover　was　beating　his　cattle　too　hard；　and　the　case　he　had　made　for　decency　towards　animals　had　left　Rincewind　severely　trampled　and　lightly　gored。　The　druids　were　looking　at　Twoflower　with　the　kind　of　expression　normally　reserved　for　mad　sheep　or　the　sudden　appearance　of　a　rain　of　frogs。　Rincewind　couldn't　quite　hear　what　Twoflower　was　saying；　but　a　few　phrases　like　'ethnic　folkways'　and　'nuts　and　flowers'　floated　across　the　hushed　circle。
　Then　fingers　like　a　bunch　of　cheese　straws　clamped　over　the　wizard's　mouth　and　an　extremely　sharp　cutting　edge　pinked　his　adams　apple　and　a　damp　voice　right　by　his　ear　said；　'Not　a　shound；　or　you　ish　a　dead　man。'
　Rincewind's　eyes　swivelled　in　their　sockets　as　if　trying　to　find　a　way　out。
　'If　you　don't　want　me　to　say　anything；　how　will　you　know　I　understand　what　you　just　said？'　he　hissed。
　'Shut　up　and　tell　me　what　that　other　idiot　ish　doing！'
　'No；　but　look；　if　I've　got　to　shut　up；　how　can　I…'　The　knife　at　his　throat　became　a　hot　streak　of　pain　and　Rincewind　decided　to　give　logic　a　miss。
　'His　name's　Twoflower。　He　isn't　from　these　parts。'
　'Doeshn't　look　like　it。　Friend　of　yoursh？'
　'We've　got　this　sort　of　hate…hate　relationship；　yes。'
　Rincewind　couldn't　see　his　captor；　but　by　the　feel　of　it　he　had　a　body　made　of　coathangers。　He　also　smelt　strongly　of　peppermints。
　'He　hash　got　guts；　I'll　give　him　that。　Do　exshactly　what　I　shay　and　it　ish　just　poshible　he　won't　end　up　with　them　wrapped　around　a　shtone。'
　'Urrr。'
　'They're　not　very　ecumenical　around　here；　you　shee。'
　It　was　at　that　moment　that　the　moon；　in　due　obedience　to　the　laws　of　persuasion；　rose；　although　in　deference　to　he　laws　of　puting　it　wasn't　anywhere　near　where　the　stones　said　it　should　be。
　But　what　was　there；　peeking　through　ragged　clouds；　was　a　glaring　red　star。　It　hung　exactly　over　the　circle's　holiest　stone；　glittering　away　like　the　sparkle　in　the　eyesocket　of　Death。　It　was　sullen　and　awful　and；　Rincewind　couldn't　help　noticing；　just　a　little　bit　bigger　than　it　was　last　night。
　A　cry　of　horror　went　up　from　the　assembled　priests。　The　crowd　on　the　surrounding　banks　pressed　forward；　this　looked　quite　promising。
　Rincewind　felt　a　knife　handle　slip　into　his　hand；　and　the　squelchy　voice　behind　him　said；　'You　ever　done　this　short　of　thing　before？'
　'What　sort　of　thing？'
　'Rushed　into　a　temple；　killed　the　prieshts；　shtolen　the　gold　and　reshcued　the　girl。'
　'No；　not　in　so　many　words。'
　'You　do　it　like　thish。'
　Two　inches　from　Rincewind's　left　ear　a　voice　broke　into　a　sound　like　a　baboon　with　its　foot　trapped　in　an　echo　canyon；　and　a　small　but　wiry　shape　rushed　past　him。
　By　the　light　of　the　torches　he　saw　that　it　was　a　very　old　man；　the　skinny　variety　that　generally　gets　called　'spry'；　with　a　totally　bald　head；　a　beard　almost　down　to　his　knees；　and　a　pair　of　matchstick　legs　on　which　varicose　veins　had　traced　the　street　map　of　quite　a　large　city。　Despite　the　snow　he　wore　nothing　more　than　a　studded　leather　holdall　and　a　pair　of　boots　that　could　have　easily　acmodated　a　second　pair　of　feet。
　The　two　druids　closest　to　him　exchanged　glances　and　hefted　their　sickles。　There　was　a　brief　blur　and　they　collapsed　into　tight　balls　of　agony；　making　rattling　noises。　In　the　excitement　that　followed　Rincewind　sidled　along　towards　the　altar　stone；　holding　his　knife　gingerly　so　as　not　to　attract　any　unwele　ment。　In　fact　no…one　was　paying　a　great　deal　of　attention　to　him；　the　druids　that　hadn't　fled　the　circle；　generally　the　younger　and　more　muscular　ones；　had　congregated　around　the　old　man　n　order　to　discuss　the　whole　subject　of　sacrilege　as　it　pertained　to　stone　circles；　but　judging　by　the　cackling　and　sounds　of　gristle　he　was　carrying　the　debate。
　Twoflower　was　watching　the　fight　with　interest。　Rincewind　grabbed　him　by　the　shoulder。
　'Let's　go；'　he　said。
　'Shouldn't　we　help？'
　'I'm　sure　we'd　only　get　in　the　way；'　said　Rincewind　hurriedly。　'You　know　what　it's　like　to　have　people　looking　over　your　shoulder　when　you're　busy。'
　'At　least　we　must　rescue　the　young　lady；'　said　Twoflower　firmly。
　'All　right；　but　get　a　move　on！'
　Twoflower　took　the　knife　and　hurried　up　to　the　altar　stone。　After　several　inept　slashes　he　managed　to　cut　the　ropes　that　bound　the　girl；　who　sat　up　and　burst　into　tears。
　'It's　all　right…'　he　began。
　'It　bloody　well　isn't！'　she　snapped；　glaring　at　him　through　two　red…rimmed　eyes。　Why　do　people　always　go　and　spoil　things？'　She　blew　her　nose　resentfully　on　the　edge　of　her　robe。
　Twoflower　looked　up　at　Rincewind　in　embarrassment。
　'Um；'　I　don't　think　you　quite　understand；'　he　said。　'I　mean；　we　just　saved　you　from　absolutely　certain　death。'
　'It's　not　easy　around　here；'　she　said。　'I　mean；　keeping　yourself…'　she　blushed；　and　twisted　the　hem　of　her　robe　wretchedly。　'I　mean；　staying　。　。　。　not　letting　yourself　be　。　。　。　not　losing　your　qualifications　。　。　。'
　'Qualifications？　said　Twoflower；　earning　the　Rincewind　Cup　for　the　slowest　person　on　the　uptake　in　the　entire　multiverse。　The　girl's　eyes　narrowed。
　'I　could　have　been　up　there　with　the　Moon　Goddess　by　now；　drinking　mead　out　of　a　silver　bowl；'　she　said　petulantly。　'Eight　years　of　staying　home　on　Saturday　nights　right　down　the　drain！'
　She　looked　up　at　Rincewind　and　scowled。
　Then　he　sensed　something。　Perhaps　it　was　a　barely　heard　footstep　behind　him；　perhaps　it　was　movement　reflected　n　her　eyes　…　but　he　ducked。
　Something　whistled　through　the　air　where　his　neck　had　been　and　glanced　off　Twoflower's　bald　head。　Rincewind　spun　round　to　see　the　archdruid　readying　his　sickle　for　another　swing　and；　in　the　absence　of　any　hope　of　running　away；　lashed　out　desperately　with　a　foot。
　It　caught　the　druid　squarely　on　the　kneecap。　As　the　man　screamed　and　dropped　his　weapon　there　was　a　nasty　little　fleshy　sound　and　he　fell　forward。　Behind　him　the　little　man　with　the　long　beard　pulled　his　sword　from　the　body；　wiped　it　with　a　handful　of　snow；　and　said；　'My　lumbago　is　giving　me　gyp。　You　can　carry　the　treashure。'
　'Treasure？'　said　Rincewind　weakly。
　'All　the　necklashes　and　shtuff。　All　the　gold　collarsh。　They've　got　lotsh　of　them。　Thatsh　prieshts　for　you；'　said　the　old　man　wetly。　'Nothing　but　torc；　torc；　torc。　Who'she　the　girl？'
　'She　won't　let　us　rescue　her；'　said　Rincewind。　The　girl　looked　at　the　old　man　defiantly　through　her　smudged　eyeshadow。
　'Bugger　that；'　he　said；　and　with　one　movement　picked　her　up；　staggered　a　little；　screamed　at　his　arthritis　and　fell　over。
　After　a　moment　he　said；　from　his　prone　position；　'Don't　just　shtand　there；　you　daft　bitcsh　…　help　me　up。'　Much　to　Rincewind's　amazement；　and　almost　certainly　to　hers　as　well；　she　did　so。
　Rincewind；　meanwhile；　was　trying　to　rouse　Twoflower。　There　was　a　graze　across　his　temple　which　didn't　look　too　deep；　but　the　little　man　was　unconscious　with　a　faintly　worried　smile　plastered　across　his　face。　His　breathing　was　shallow　and　…　strange。
　And　he　felt　light。　Not　simply　underweight；　but　weightless。　The　wizard　might　as　well　have　been　holding　a　shadow。　Rincewind　remembered　that　it　was　said　that　druids　used　strange　and　terrible　poisons。　Of　course；　it　was　often　said；　usually　by　the　same　people；　that　crooks　always　had　close…set　eyes；　lightning　never　struck　twice　in　the　same　lace　and　if　the　gods　had　wanted　men　to　fly　they'd　have　given　them　an　airline　ticket。　But　something　about　Twoflower's　lightness　frightened　Rincewind。　Frightened　him　horribly。
　He　looked　up　at　the　girl。　She　had　the　old　man　slung　over　one　shoulder；　and　gave　Rincewind　an　apologetic　half…smile。　From　somewhere　around　the　small　of　her　back　a　voice　said；　'Got　everything？　Letsh　get　out　of　here　before　they　e　back。'
　Rincewind　tucked　Twoflower　under　one　arm　and　jogged　along　after　them。　It　seemed　the　only　thing　to　do。
　

　The　old　man　had　a　large　white　horse　tethered　to　a　withered　tree　in　a　snow…filled　gully　some　way　from　the　circles。　It　was　sleek；　glos