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the author of beltraffio-第9节

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you see what I mean?I don't quite see where I shall be landed。  I
only want to be quiet; after all;〃 Miss Ambient continued as if she
had long been baffled of this modest desire。  〃And one must be good;
at any rate; must not one?〃 she pursued with a dubious quaveran
intimation apparently that what I might say one way or the other
would settle it for her。  It was difficult for me to be very original
in reply; and I'm afraid I repaid her confidence with an unblushing
platitude。  I remember; moreover; attaching to it an inquiry; equally
destitute of freshness and still more wanting perhaps in tact; as to
whether she didn't mean to go to church; since that was an obvious
way of being good。  She made answer that she had performed this duty
in the morning; and that for her; of Sunday afternoons; supreme
virtue consisted in answering the week's letters。  Then suddenly and
without transition she brought out:  〃It's quite a mistake about
Dolcino's being better。  I've seen him and he's not at all right。〃

I wondered; and somehow I think I scarcely believed。  〃Surely his
mother would know; wouldn't she?〃

She appeared for a moment to be counting the leaves on one of the
great beeches。  〃As regards most matters one can easily say what; in
a given situation; my sister…in…law will; or would; do。  But in the
present case there are strange elements at work。〃

〃Strange elements?  Do you mean in the constitution of the child?〃

〃No; I mean in my sister…in…law's feelings。〃

〃Elements of affection of course; elements of anxiety;〃 I concurred。
〃But why do you call them strange?〃

She repeated my words。  〃Elements of affection; elements of anxiety。
She's very anxious。〃

Miss Ambient put me indescribably ill at ease; she almost scared me;
and I wished she would go and write her letters。  〃His father will
have seen him now;〃 I said; 〃and if he's not satisfied he will send
for the doctor。〃

〃The doctor ought to have been here this morning;〃 she promptly
returned。  〃He lives only two miles away。〃

I reflected that all this was very possibly but a part of the general
tragedy of Miss Ambient's view of things; yet I asked her why she
hadn't urged that view on her sister…in…law。  She answered me with a
smile of extraordinary significance and observed that I must have
very little idea of her 〃peculiar〃 relations with Beatrice; but I
must do her the justice that she re…enforced this a little by the
plea that any distinguishable alarm of Mark's was ground enough for a
difference of his wife's。  He was always nervous about the child; and
as they were predestined by nature to take opposite views; the only
thing for the mother was to cultivate a false optimism。  In Mark's
absence and that of his betrayed fear she would have been less easy。
I remembered what he had said to me about their dealings with their
sonthat between them they'd probably put an end to him; but I
didn't repeat this to Miss Ambient:  the less so that just then her
brother emerged from the house; carrying the boy in his arms。  Close
behind him moved his wife; grave and pale; the little sick face was
turned over Ambient's shoulder and toward the mother。  We rose to
receive the group; and as they came near us Dolcino twisted himself
about。  His enchanting eyes showed me a smile of recognition; in
which; for the moment; I should have taken a due degree of comfort。
Miss Ambient; however; received another impression; and I make haste
to say that her quick sensibility; which visibly went out to the
child; argues that in spite of her affectations she might have been
of some human use。  〃It won't do at allit won't do at all;〃 she
said to me under her breath。  〃I shall speak to Mark about the
Doctor。〃

Her small nephew was rather white; but the main difference I saw in
him was that he was even more beautiful than the day before。  He had
been dressed in his festal garmentsa velvet suit and a crimson
sashand he looked like a little invalid prince too young to know
condescension and smiling familiarly on his subjects。

〃Put him down; Mark; he's not a bit at his ease;〃 Mrs。 Ambient said。

〃Should you like to stand on your feet; my boy?〃 his father asked。

He made a motion that quickly responded。  〃Oh yes; I'm remarkably
well。〃

Mark placed him on the ground; he had shining pointed shoes with
enormous bows。  〃Are you happy now; Mr。 Ambient?〃

〃Oh yes; I'm particularly happy;〃 Dolcino replied。  But the words
were scarce out of his mouth when his mother caught him up and; in a
moment; holding him on her knees; took her place on the bench where
Miss Ambient and I had been sitting。  This young lady said something
to her brother; in consequence of which the two wandered away into
the garden together。



CHAPTER IV



I remained with Mrs。 Ambient; but as a servant had brought out a
couple of chairs I wasn't obliged to seat myself beside her。  Our
conversation failed of ease; and I; for my part; felt there would be
a shade of hypocrisy in my now trying to make myself agreeable to the
partner of my friend's existence。  I didn't dislike herI rather
admired her; but I was aware that I differed from her inexpressibly。
Then I suspected; what I afterwards definitely knew and have already
intimated; that the poor lady felt small taste for her husband's so
undisguised disciple; and this of course was not encouraging。  She
thought me an obtrusive and designing; even perhaps a depraved; young
man whom a perverse Providence had dropped upon their quiet lawn to
flatter his worst tendencies。  She did me the honour to say to Miss
Ambient; who repeated the speech; that she didn't know when she had
seen their companion take such a fancy to a visitor; and she measured
apparently my evil influence by Mark's appreciation of my society。  I
had a consciousness; not oppressive but quite sufficient; of all
this; though I must say that if it chilled my flow of small…talk it
yet didn't prevent my thinking the beautiful mother and beautiful
child; interlaced there against their background of roses; a picture
such as I doubtless shouldn't soon see again。  I was free; I
supposed; to go into the house and write letters; to sit in the
drawing…room; to repair to my own apartment and take a nap; but the
only use I made of my freedom was to linger still in my chair and say
to myself that the light hand of Sir Joshua might have painted Mark
Ambient's wife and son。  I found myself looking perpetually at the
latter small mortal; who looked constantly back at me; and that was
enough to detain me。  With these vaguely…amused eyes he smiled; and I
felt it an absolute impossibility to abandon a child with such an
expression。  His attention never strayed; it attached itself to my
face as if among all the small incipient things of his nature
throbbed a desire to say something to me。  If I could have taken him
on my own knee he perhaps would have managed to say it; but it would
have been a critical matter to ask his mother to give him up; and it
has remained a constant regret for me that on that strange Sunday
afternoon I didn't even for a moment hold Dolcino in my arms。  He had
said he felt remarkably well and was especially happy; but though
peace may have been with him as he pillowed his charming head on his
mother's breast; dropping his little crimson silk legs from her lap;
I somehow didn't think security was。  He made no attempt to walk
about; he was content to swing his legs softly and strike one as
languid and angelic。

Mark returned to us with his sister; and Miss Ambient; repeating her
mention of the claims of her correspondence; passed into the house。
Mark came and stood in front of his wife; looking down at the child;
who immediately took hold of his hand and kept it while he stayed。
〃I think Mackintosh ought to see him;〃 he said; 〃I think I'll walk
over and fetch him。〃

〃That's Gwendolen's idea; I suppose;〃 Mrs。 Ambient replied very
sweetly。

〃It's not such an out…of…the…way idea when one's child's ill;〃 he
returned。

〃I'm not ill; papa; I'm much better now;〃 sounded in the boy's silver
pipe。

〃Is that the truth; or are you only saying it to be agreeable?
You've a great idea of being agreeable; you know。〃

The child seemed to meditate on this distinction; this imputation;
for a moment; then his exaggerated eyes; which had wandered; caught
my own as I watched him。  〃Do YOU think me agreeable?〃 he inquired
with the candour of his age and with a look that made his father turn
round to me laughing and ask; without saying it; 〃Isn't he adorable?〃

〃Then why don't you hop about; if you feel so lusty?〃 Ambient went on
while his son swung his hand。

〃Because mamma's holding me close!〃

〃Oh yes; I know how mamma holds you when I come near!〃 cried Mark
with a grimace at his wife。

She turned her charming eyes up to him without deprecation or
concession。  〃You can go for Mackintosh if you like。  I think myself
it would be better。  You ought to drive。〃

〃She says that to get me away;〃 he put to me with a gaiety that I
thought a little false; after which he started for the Doctor's。

I remained there with Mrs。 Ambient; though even our exchange of
twaddle had run very thin。  The boy's little 

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