the lily of the valley-第36节

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influential　personages　of　the　Faubourg　St。　Germain。



Henriette　herself　put　me　at　the　heart　of　the　circle　then　called　〃le

Petit　Chateau〃　by　the　help　of　her　great…aunt；　the　Princesse　de

Blamont…Chauvry；　to　whom　she　wrote　so　warmly　in　my　behalf　that　the

princess　immediately　sent　for　me。　I　cultivated　her　and　contrived　to

please　her；　and　she　became；　not　my　protectress　but　a　friend；　in　whose

kindness　there　was　something　maternal。　The　old　lady　took　pains　to　make

me　intimate　with　her　daughter　Madame　d'Espard；　with　the　Duchesse　de

Langeais；　the　Vicomtesse　de　Beauseant；　and　the　Duchesse　de

Maufrigneuse；　women　who　held　the　sceptre　of　fashion；　and　who　were　all

the　more　gracious　to　me　because　I　made　no　pretensions　and　was　always

ready　to　be　useful　and　agreeable　to　them。　My　brother　Charles；　far　from

avoiding　me；　now　began　to　lean　upon　me；　but　my　rapid　success　roused　a

secret　jealousy　in　his　mind　which　in　after　years　caused　me　great

vexation。　My　father　and　mother；　surprised　by　a　triumph　so　unexpected；

felt　their　vanity　flattered；　and　received　me　at　last　as　a　son。　But

their　feeling　was　too　artificial；　I　might　say　false；　to　let　their

present　treatment　have　much　influence　upon　a　sore　heart。　Affectations

stained　with　selfishness　win　little　sympathy；　the　heart　abhors

calculations　and　profits　of　all　kinds。



I　wrote　regularly　to　Henriette；　who　answered　by　two　letters　a　month。

Her　spirit　hovered　over　me；　her　thoughts　traversed　space　and　made　the

atmosphere　around　me　pure。　No　woman　could　captivate　me。　The　king

noticed　my　reserve；　and　as；　in　this　respect；　he　belonged　to　the　school

of　Louis　XV。；　he　called　me；　in　jest；　Mademoiselle　de　Vandenesse；　but

my　conduct　pleased　him。　I　am　convinced　that　the　habit　of　patience　I

acquired　in　my　childhood　and　practised　at　Clochegourde　had　much　to　do

in　my　winning　the　favor　of　the　king；　who　was　always　most　kind　to　me。

He　no　doubt　took　a　fancy　to　read　my　letters；　for　he　soon　gave　up　his

notion　of　my　life　as　that　of　a　young　girl。　One　day　when　the　duke　was

on　duty；　and　I　was　writing　at　the　king's　dictation；　the　latter

suddenly　remarked；　in　that　fine；　silvery　voice　of　his；　to　which　he

could　give；　when　he　chose；　the　biting　tone　of　epigram：



〃So　that　poor　devil　of　a　Mortsauf　persists　in　living？〃



〃Yes；〃　replied　the　duke。



〃Madame　de　Mortsauf　is　an　angel；　whom　I　should　like　to　see　at　my

court；〃　continued　the　king；　〃but　if　I　cannot　manage　it；　my　chancellor

here；〃　turning　to　me；　〃may　be　more　fortunate。　You　are　to　have　six

months'　leave；　I　have　decided　on　giving　you　the　young　man　we　spoke　of

yesterday　as　colleague。　Amuse　yourself　at　Clochegourde；　friend　Cato！〃

and　he　laughed　as　he　had　himself　wheeled　out　of　the　room。



I　flew　like　a　swallow　to　Touraine。　For　the　first　time　I　was　to　show

myself　to　my　beloved；　not　merely　a　little　less　insignificant；　but

actually　in　the　guise　of　an　elegant　young　man；　whose　manners　had　been

formed　in　the　best　salons；　his　education　finished　by　gracious　women；

who　had　found　at　last　a　compensation　for　all　his　sufferings；　and　had

put　to　use　the　experience　given　to　him　by　the　purest　angel　to　whom

heaven　had　ever　committed　the　care　of　a　child。　You　know　how　my　mother

had　equipped　me　for　my　three　months'　visit　at　Frapesle。　When　I　reached

Clochegourde　after　fulfilling　my　mission　in　Vendee；　I　was　dressed　like

a　huntsman；　I　wore　a　jacket　with　white　and　red　buttons；　striped

trousers；　leathern　gaiters　and　shoes。　Tramping　through　underbrush　had

so　injured　my　clothes　that　the　count　was　obliged　to　lend　me　linen。　On

the　present　occasion；　two　years'　residence　in　Paris；　constant

intercourse　with　the　king；　the　habits　of　a　life　at　ease；　my　completed

growth；　a　youthful　countenance；　which　derived　a　lustre　from　the

placidity　of　the　soul　within　magnetically　united　with　the　pure　soul

that　beamed　on　me　from　Clochegourde；all　these　things　combined　had

transformed　me。　I　was　self…possessed　without　conceit；　inwardly　pleased

to　find　myself；　in　spite　of　my　years；　at　the　summit　of　affairs；　above

all；　I　had　the　consciousness　of　being　secretly　the　support　and　comfort

of　the　dearest　woman　on　earth；　and　her　unuttered　hope。　Perhaps　I　felt

a　flutter　of　vanity　as　the　postilions　cracked　their　whips　along　the

new　avenue　leading　from　the　main　road　to　Clochegourde　and　through　an

iron　gate　I　had　never　seen　before；　which　opened　into　a　circular

enclosure　recently　constructed。　I　had　not　written　to　the　countess　of

my　coming；　wishing　to　surprise　her。　For　this　I　found　myself　doubly　in

fault：　first；　she　was　overwhelmed　with　the　excitement　of　a　pleasure

long　desired；　but　supposed　to　be　impossible；　and　secondly；　she　proved

to　me　that　all　such　deliberate　surprises　are　in　bad　taste。



When　Henriette　saw　a　young　man　in　him　who　had　hitherto　seemed　but　a

child　to　her；　she　lowered　her　eyes　with　a　sort　of　tragic　slowness。　She

allowed　me　to　take　and　kiss　her　hand　without　betraying　her　inward

pleasure；　which　I　nevertheless　felt　in　her　sensitive　shiver。　When　she

raised　her　face　to　look　at　me　again；　I　saw　that　she　was　pale。



〃Well；　you　don't　forget　your　old　friends？〃　said　Monsieur　de　Mortsauf；

who　had　neither　changed　nor　aged。



The　children　sprang　upon　me。　I　saw　them　behind　the　grave　face　of　the

Abbe　Dominis；　Jacques'　tutor。



〃No；〃　I　replied；　〃and　in　future　I　am　to　have　six　months'　leave；　which

will　always　be　spent　hereWhy；　what　is　the　matter？〃　I　said　to　the

countess；　putting　my　arm　round　her　waist　and　holding　her　up　in

presence　of　them　all。



〃Oh；　don't！〃　she　said；　springing　away　from　me；　〃it　is　nothing。〃



I　read　her　mind；　and　answered　to　its　secret　thought　by　saying；　〃Am　I

not　allowed　to　be　your　faithful　slave？〃



She　took　my　arm；　left　the　count；　the　children；　and　the　abbe；　and　led

me　to　a　distance　on　the　lawn；　though　still　within　sight　of　the　others；

then；　when　sure　that　her　voice　could　not　be　heard　by　them；　she　spoke。



〃Felix；　my　dear　friend；〃　she　said；　〃forgive　my　fears；　I　have　but　one

thread　by　which　to　guide　me　in　the　labyrinth　of　life；　and　I　dread　to

see　it　broken。　Tell　me　that　I　am　more　than　ever　Henriette　to　you；　that

you　will　never　abandon　me；　that　nothing　shall　prevail　against　me；　that

you　will　ever　be　my　devoted　friend。　I　have　suddenly　had　a　glimpse　into

my　future；　and　you　were　not　there；　as　hitherto；　your　eyes　shining　and

fixed　upon　me〃



〃Henriette！　idol　whose　worship　is　like　that　of　the　Divine；lily；

flower　of　my　life；　how　is　it　that　you　do　not　know；　you　who　are　my

conscience；　that　my　being　is　so　fused　with　yours　that　my　soul　is　here

when　my　body　is　in　Paris？　Must　I　tell　you　that　I　have　come　in

seventeen　hours；　that　each　turn　of　the　wheels　gathered　thoughts　and

desires　in　my　breast；　which　burst　forth　like　a　tempest　when　I　saw

you？〃



〃Yes；　tell　me！　tell　me！〃　she　cried；　〃I　am　so　sure　of　myself　that　I　can

hear　you　without　wrong。　God　does　not　will　my　death。　He　sends　you　to　me

as　he　sends　his　breath　to　his　creatures；　as　he　pours　the　rain　of　his

clouds　upon　a　parched　earth；tell　me！　tell　me！　Do　you　love　me

sacredly？〃



〃Sacredly。〃



〃For　ever？〃



〃For　ever。〃



〃As　a　virgin　Mary；　hidden　behind　her　veil；　beneath　her　white　crown。〃



〃As　a　virgin　visible。〃



〃As　a　sister？〃



〃As　a　sister　too　dearly　loved。〃



〃With　chivalry　and　without　hope？〃



〃With　chivalry　and　with　hope。〃



〃As　if　you　were　still　twenty　years　of　age；　and　wearing　that　absurd

blue　coat？〃



〃Oh　better　far！　I　love　you　thus；　and　I　also　love　you〃she　looked　at

me　with　keen　apprehension〃as　you　loved　your　aunt。〃



〃I　am　happy！　You　dispel　my　terrors；〃　she　said；　returning　towards　the

family；　who　were　surprised　at　our　private　conference。　〃Be　still　a

child　at　Clochegourdefor　you　are　one　still。　It　may　be　your　policy　to

be　a　man　with　the　king；　but　here；　let　me　tell　you；　monsieur；　your　best

policy　is　to　remain　a　child。　As　a　child　you　shall　be　loved。　I　can

resist　a　man；　but　to　a　child　I　can　refuse　nothing；　nothing！　He　can　ask

for　nothing　I　will　not　give　him。Our　secrets　are　all　told；〃　she　said；

looking　at　the　count　with　a　mischievous　air；　in　which　her　girlish；

natural　self　reappeared。　〃I　leave　you　now；　I　must　go　and　dress。〃



Never　for　three　years　had　I　heard　her　voice　so　richly　happy。　For　the

first　time　I　heard　those　swallow　cries；　the　infantile　notes　of　which　I

told　you。　I　had　brought　Jacques　a　hunting　outfit；　and　for　Madeleine　a

work…boxwhich　her　mother　afterwards　used。　The　joy　of　the　two

children；　delighted　to　show　their　presents　to　each　other；　seemed　to

annoy　the　count；　always　dissatisfied　when　attention　was　withdrawn　from

himself。　I　made　a　sign　to　Madeleine　and　followed　her　father；　who

wanted　to　talk　to　me　of　his　ailments。



〃My　poor　Felix；〃　he　said；　〃you　see　how　happy　and　well　they　all　are。　I

am　the　shadow　on　the　picture；　all　their　ills　are　transferred　to　me；

and　I　bless　God　that　it　is　so。　Formerly　I　did　not　know　what　was　the

matter　with　me；　now　I　know。　The　orifice　of　my　stomach　is　affected；　I

can　digest　nothing。〃



〃How