worldly ways and byways-第33节

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contented　to　live　in　France　and　know　but　few　French　people；　

entertaining　among　themselves　and　marrying　their　daughters　to　

Americans。　　The　members　of　the　other；　who　have　〃gone　in〃　for　French　

society；　take　what　they　can　get；　and；　on　the　whole；　lead　very　jolly　

lives。　　It　often　happens　（perhaps　it　is　only　a　coincidence）　that　

ladies　who　have　not　been　very　successful　at　home　are　partial　to　

this　circle；　where　they　easily　find　guests　for　their　entertainments　

and　the　recognition　their　souls　long　for。



What　the　future　of　the　〃Great　Faubourg〃　will　be；　it　is　hard　to　say。　　

All　hope　of　a　possible　RESTAURATION　appears　to　be　lost。　　Will　the　

proud　necks　that　refused　to　bend　to　the　Orleans　dynasty　or　the　two　

〃empires〃　bow　themselves　to　the　republican　yoke？　　It　would　seem　as　

if　it　must　terminate　in　this　way；　for　everything　in　this　world　must　

finish。　　But　the　end　is　not　yet；　one　cannot　help　feeling　sympathy　

for　people　who　are　trying　to　live　up　to　their　traditions　and　be　

true　to　such　immaterial　idols　as　〃honor〃　and　〃family〃　in　this　

discouragingly　material　age；　when　everything　goes　down　before　the　

Golden　Calf。　　Nor　does　one　wonder　that　men　who　can　trace　their　

ancestors　back　to　the　Crusades　should　hesitate　to　ally　themselves　

with　the　last　rich　PARVENU　who　has　raised　himself　from　the　gutter；　

or　resent　the　ardor　with　which　the　latest　importation　of　American　

ambition　tries　to　chum　with　them　and　push　its　way　into　their　life。









CHAPTER　31　…　Men's　Manners





NOTHING　makes　one　feel　so　old　as　to　wake　up　suddenly；　as　it　were；　

and　realize　that　the　conditions　of　life　have　changed；　and　that　the　

standards　you　knew　and　accepted　in　your　youth　have　been　raised　or　

lowered。　　The　young　men　you　meet　have　somehow　become　uncomfortably　

polite；　offering　you　armchairs　in　the　club；　and　listening　with　a　

shade　of　deference　to　your　stories。　　They　are　of　another　

generation；　their　ways　are　not　your　ways；　nor　their　ambitions　those　

you　had　in　younger　days。　　One　is　tempted　to　look　a　little　closer；　

to　analyze　what　the　change　is；　in　what　this　subtle　difference　

consists；　which　you　feel　between　your　past　and　their　present。　　You　

are　surprised　and　a　little　angry　to　discover　that；　among　other　

things；　young　men　have　better　manners　than　were　general　among　the　

youths　of　fifteen　years　ago。



Anyone　over　forty　can　remember　three　epochs　in　men's　manners。　　When　

I　was　a　very　young　man；　there　were　still　going　about　in　society　a　

number　of　gentlemen　belonging　to　what　was　reverently　called　the　

〃old　school；〃　who　had　evidently　taken　Sir　Charles　Grandison　as　

their　model；　read　Lord　Chesterfield's　letters　to　his　son　with　

attention；　and　been　brought　up　to　commence　letters　to　their　

fathers；　〃Honored　Parent；〃　signing　themselves　〃Your　humble　servant　

and　respectful　son。〃　　There　are　a　few　such　old　gentlemen　still　to　

be　found　in　the　more　conservative　clubs；　where　certain　windows　are　

tacitly　abandoned　to　these　elegant…mannered　fossils。　　They　are　

quite　harmless　unless　you　happen　to　find　them　in　a　reminiscent　

mood；　when　they　are　apt　to　be　a　little　tiresome；　it　takes　their　

rusty　mental　machinery　so　long　to　get　working！　　Washington　

possesses　a　particularly　fine　collection　among　the　retired　army　and　

navy　officers　and　ex…officials。　　It　is　a　fact　well　known　that　no　

one　drawing　a　pension　ever　dies。



About　1875；　a　new　generation　with　new　manners　began　to　make　its　

appearance。　　A　number　of　its　members　had　been　educated　at　English　

universities；　and　came　home　burning　to　upset　old　ways　and　teach　

their　elders　how　to　live。　　They　broke　away　from　the　old　clubs　and　

started　smaller　and　more　exclusive　circles　among　themselves；　

principally　in　the　country。　　This　was　a　period　of　bad　manners。　　

True　to　their　English　model；　they　considered　it　〃good　form〃　to　be　

uncivil　and　to　make　no　effort　towards　the　general　entertainment　

when　in　society。　　Not　to　speak　more　than　a　word　or　two　during　a　

dinner　party　to　either　of　one's　neighbors　was　the　supreme　CHIC。　　As　

a　revolt　from　the　twice…told　tales　of　their　elders　they　held　it　to　

be　〃bad　form〃　to　tell　a　story；　no　matter　how　fresh　and　amusing　it　

might　be。　　An　unfortunate　outsider　who　ventured　to　tell　one　in　

their　club　was　crushed　by　having　his　tale　received　in　dead　silence。　　

When　it　was　finished　one　of　the　party　would　〃ring　the　bell；〃　and　

the　circle　order　drinks　at　the　expense　of　the　man　who　had　dared　to　

amuse　them。　　How　the　professional　story…teller　must　have　shuddered　

…　he　whose　story　never　was　ripe　until　it　had　been　told　a　couple　of　

hundred　times；　and　who　would　produce　a　certain　tale　at　a　certain　

course　as　surely　as　clock…work。



That　the　story…telling　type　was　a　bore；　I　grant。　　To　be　grabbed　on　

entering　your　club　and　obliged　to　listen　to　Smith's　last；　or　to　

have　the　conversation　after　dinner　monopolized　by　Jones　and　his　

eternal　〃Speaking　of　coffee；　I　remember　once；〃　etc。　added　an　

additional　hardship　to　existence。　　But　the　opposite　pose；　which　

became　the　fashion　among　the　reformers；　was　hardly　less　wearisome。　　

To　sit　among　a　group　of　perfectly　mute　men；　with　an　occasional　word　

dropping　into　the　silence　like　a　stone　in　a　well；　was　surely　little　

better。



A　girl　told　me　she　had　once　sat　through　an　entire　cotillion　with　a　

youth　whose　only　remark　during　the　evening　had　been　（after　absorbed　

contemplation　of　the　articles　in　question）；　〃How　do　you　like　my　

socks？〃



On　another　occasion　my　neighbor　at　table　said　to　me：



〃I　think　the　man　on　my　right　has　gone　to　sleep。　　He　is　sitting　with　

his　eyes　closed！〃　　She　was　mistaken。　　He　was　practising　his　newly　

acquired　〃repose　of　manner；〃　and　living　up　to　the　standard　of　his　

set。



The　model　young　man　of　that　period　had　another　offensive　habit；　his　

pose　of　never　seeing　you；　which　got　on　the　nerves　of　his　elders　to　

a　considerable　extent。　　If　he　came　into　a　drawing…room　where　you　

were　sitting　with　a　lady；　he　would　shake　hands　with　her　and　begin　a　

conversation；　ignoring　your　existence；　although　you　may　have　been　

his　guest　at　dinner　the　night　before；　or　he　yours。　　This　was　also　a　

tenet　of　his　creed　borrowed　from　trans…Atlantic　cousins；　who；　by　

the　bye；　during　the　time　I　speak　of；　found　America；　and　especially　

our　Eastern　states；　a　happy　hunting…ground；　…　all　the　clubs；　

country　houses；　and　society　generally　opening　their　doors　to　the　

〃sesame〃　of　English　nationality。　　It　took　our　innocent　youths　a　

good　ten　years　to　discover　that　there　was　no　reciprocity　in　the　

arrangement；　it　was　only　in　the　next　epoch　（the　list　of　the　three　

referred　to）　that　our　men　recovered　their　self…respect；　and　assumed　

towards　foreigners　in　general　the　attitude　of　polite　indifference　

which　is　their　manner　to　us　when　abroad。　　Nothing　could　have　been　

more　provincial　and　narrow　than　the　ideas　of　our　〃smart〃　men　at　

that　time。　　They　congregated　in　little　cliques；　huddling　together　

in　public；　and　cracking　personal　old　jokes；　but　were　speechless　

with　MAUVAISE　HONTE　if　thrown　among　foreigners　or　into　other　

circles　of　society。　　All　this　is　not　to　be　wondered　at　considering　

the　amount　of　their　general　education　and　reading。　　One　charming　

little　custom　then　greatly　in　vogue　among　our　JEUNESSE　DOREE　was　to　

remain　at　a　ball；　after　the　other　guests　had　retired；　tipsy；　and　

then　break　anything　that　came　to　hand。　　It　was　so　amusing　to　throw　

china；　glass；　or　valuable　plants；　out　of　the　windows；　to　strip　to　

the　waist　and　box　or　bait　the　tired　waiters。



I　look　at　the　boys　growing　up　around　me　with　sincere　admiration；　

they　are　so　superior　to　their　predecessors　in　breeding；　in　

civility；　in　deference　to　older　people；　and　in　a　thousand　other　

little　ways　that　mark　high…bred　men。　　The　stray　Englishman；　of　no　

particular　standing　at　home　no　longer　finds　our　men　eager　to　

entertain　him；　to　put　their　best　〃hunter〃　at　his　disposition；　to　

board；　lodge；　and　feed　him　indefinitely；　or　make　him　honorary　

member　of　all　their　clubs。　　It　is　a　constant　source　of　pleasure　to　

me　to　watch　this　younger　generation；　so　plainly　do　I　see　in　them　

the　influence　of　their　mothers　…　women　I　knew　as　girls；　and　who　

were　so　far　ahead　of　their　brothers　and　husbands　in　refinement　and　

culture。　　To　have　seen　these　girls　marry　and　bring　up　their　sons　so　

well　has　been　a　satisfaction　and　a　compensation　for　many　

disillusions。　　Woman's　influence　will　always　remain　the　strongest　

lever　that　can　be　brought　to　bear　in　raising　the　tone　of　a　family；　

it　is　impossible　not　to　see　about　these　young　men　a　reflection　of　

what　we　found　so　charming　in　their　mothers。　　One　despairs　at　times　

of　humanity；　seeing　vulgarity　and　snobbishness　riding　triumphantly　

upward；　but　where　the　tone　of　the　younger　generation　is　as　high　as　

I　have　lately　found　it；　there　is　still　much　hope　for　the　future。









CHAPTER　32　…　An　Ideal　Hostess





THE　saying　that　〃One…half　of　the　world　ignores　how　the　other　half　

lives〃　received　f