worldly ways and byways-第22节

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tired；　I　throw　over　every　other　engagement。　　I　could　have　done　them　

all　with　hurry　and　fatigue。　　I　prefer　to　do　one…half　and　enjoy　what　

I　do。　　If　I　go　to　a　house；　it　is　to　remain　and　appreciate　whatever　

entertainment　has　been　prepared　for　me。　　I　never　offer　to　any　

hostess　the　slight　of　a　hurried；　DISTRAIT　'call；'　with　glances　at　

my　watch；　and　an　'on…the…wing'　manner。　　It　is　much　easier　not　to　

go；　or　to　send　a　card。〃



This　brings　me　around　to　a　subject　which　I　believe　is　one　of　the　

causes　of　my　correspondent's　dilemma。　　I　fear　that　she　never　can　

refuse　anything。　　It　is　a　peculiar　trait　of　people　who　go　about　to　

amuse　themselves；　that　they　are　always　sure　the　particular　

entertainment　they　have　been　asked　to　last　is　going　to　〃be　

amusing。〃　　It　rarely　is　different　from　the　others；　but　these　people　

are　convinced；　that　to　stay　away　would　be　to　miss　something。　　A　

weary…looking　girl　about　1　A。M。　（at　a　house…party）　when　asked　why　

she　did　not　go　to　bed　if　she　was　so　tired；　answered；　〃the　nights　I　

go　to　bed　early；　they　always　seem　to　do　something　jolly；　and　then　I　

miss　it。〃



There　is　no　greater　proof　of　how　much　this　weary　round　wears　on　

women　than　the　acts　of　the　few　who　feel　themselves　strong　enough　in　

their　position　to　defy　custom。　　They　have　thrown　off　the　yoke　（at　

least　the　younger　ones　have）　doubtless　backed　up　by　their　husbands；　

for　men　are　much　quicker　to　see　the　aimlessness　of　this　stupid　

social　routine。　　First　they　broke　down　the　great　New…Year…call　

〃grind。〃　　Men　over　forty　doubtless　recall　with　a　shudder；　that　

awful　custom　which　compelled　a　man　to　get　into　his　dress　clothes　at　

ten　A。M。；　and　pass　his　day　rushing　about　from　house　to　house　like　a　

postman。　　Out…of…town　clubs　and　sport　helped　to　do　away　with　that　

remnant　of　New　Amsterdam。　　Next　came　the　male　revolt　from　the　

afternoon　〃tea〃　or　〃musical。〃　　A　black　coat　is　rare　now　at　either　

of　these　functions；　or　if　seen　is　pretty　sure　to　be　on　a　back　over　

fifty。　　Next；　we　lords　of　creation　refused　to　call　at　all；　or　leave　

our　cards。　　A　married　woman　now　leaves　her　husband's　card　with　her　

own；　and　sisters　leave　the　〃pasteboard〃　of　their　brothers　and　often　

those　of　their　brothers'　friends。　　Any　combination　is　good　enough　

to　〃shoot　a　card。〃



In　London　the　men　have　gone　a　step　further。　　It　is　not　uncommon　to　

hear　a　young　man　boast　that　he　never　owned　a　visiting　card　or　made　

a　〃duty〃　call　in　his　life。　　Neither　there　nor　with　us　does　a　man　

count　as　a　〃call〃　a　quiet　cup　of　tea　with　a　woman　he　likes；　and　a　

cigarette　and　quiet　talk　until　dressing　time。　　Let　the　young　women　

have　courage　and　take　matters　into　their　own　hands。　　（The　older　

ones　are　hopeless　and　will　go　on　pushing　this　Juggernaut　car　over　

each　other's　weary　bodies；　until　the　end　of　the　chapter。）　　Let　them　

have　the　courage　occasionally　to　〃refuse〃　something；　to　keep　

themselves　free　from　aimless　engagements；　and　bring　this　paste…

board　war　to　a　close。　　If　a　woman　is　attractive；　she　will　be　asked　

out　all　the　same；　never　fear！　　If　she　is　not　popular；　the　few　dozen　

of　〃egg…shell　extra〃　that　she　can　manage　to　slip　in　at　the　front　

doors　of　her　acquaintances　will　not　help　her　much。



If　this　matter　is；　however；　so　vastly　important　in　women's　eyes；　

why　not　adopt　the　continental　and　diplomatic　custom　and　send　cards　

by　post　or　otherwise？　　There；　if　a　new…comer　dines　out　and　meets　

twenty…five　people　for　the　first　time；　cards　must　be　left　the　next　

day　at　their　twenty…five　respective　residences。　　How　the　cards　get　

there　is　of　no　importance。　　It　is　a　diplomatic　fiction　that　the　new　

acquaintance　has　called　in　person；　and　the　call　will　be　returned　

within　twenty…four　hours。　　Think　of　the　saving　of　time　and　

strength！　　In　Paris；　on　New　Year's　Day；　people　send　cards　by　post　

to　everybody　they　wish　to　keep　up。　　That　does　for　a　year；　and　no　

more　is　thought　about　it。　　All　the　time　thus　gained　can　be　given　to　

culture　or　recreation。



I　have　often　wondered　why　one　sees　so　few　women　one　knows　at　our　

picture　exhibitions　or　flower　shows。　　It　is　no　longer　a　mystery　to　

me。　　They　are　all　busy　trotting　up　and　down　our　long　side　streets　

leaving　cards。　　Hideous　vision！　　Should　Dante　by　any　chance　

reincarnate；　he　would　find　here　the　material　ready　made　to　his　hand　

for　an　eighth　circle　in　his　INFERNO。









CHAPTER　21　…　〃Like　Master　Like　Man。〃





A　FREQUENT　and　naive　complaint　one　hears；　is　of　the　

unsatisfactoriness　of　servants　generally；　and　their　ingratitude　and　

astonishing　lack　of　affection　for　their　masters；　in　particular。　　

〃After　all　I　have　done　for　them；〃　is　pretty　sure　to　sum　up　the　long　

tale　of　a　housewife's　griefs。　　Of　all　the　delightful　

inconsistencies　that　grace　the　female　mind；　this　latter　point　of　

view　always　strikes　me　as　being　the　most　complete。　　I　artfully　lead　

my　fair　friend　on　to　tell　me　all　about　her　woes；　and　she　is　sure　to　

be　exquisitely　one…sided　and　quite　unconscious　of　her　position。　　

〃They　are　so　extravagant；　take　so　little　interest　in　my　things；　and　

leave　me　at　a　moment's　notice；　if　they　get　an　idea　I　am　going　to　

break　up。　　Horrid　things！　　I　wish　I　could　do　without　them！　　They　

cause　me　endless　worry　and　annoyance。〃　　My　friend　is　very　nearly　

right；　…　but　with　whom　lies　the　fault？



The　conditions　were　bad　enough　years　ago；　when　servants　were　kept　

for　decades　in　the　same　family；　descending　like　heirlooms　from　

father　to　son；　often　（abroad）　being　the　foster　sisters　or　brothers　

of　their　masters；　and　bound　to　the　household　by　an　hundred　ties　of　

sympathy　and　tradition。　　But　in　our　day；　and　in　America；　where　

there　is　rarely　even　a　common　language　or　nationality　to　form　a　

bond；　and　where　households　are　broken　up　with　such　facility；　the　

relation　between　master　and　servant　is　often　so　strained　and　so　

unpleasant　that　we　risk　becoming　（what　foreigners　reproach　us　with　

being）；　a　nation　of　hotel…dwellers。　　Nor　is　this　class…feeling　

greatly　to　be　wondered　at。　　The　contrary　would　be　astonishing。　　

From　the　primitive　household；　where　a　poor　neighbor　comes　in　as　

〃help；〃　to　the　〃great〃　establishment　where　the　butler　and　

housekeeper　eat　apart；　and　a　group　of　plush…clad　flunkies　imported　

from　England　adorn　the　entrance…hall；　nothing　could　be　better　

contrived　to　set　one　class　against　another　than　domestic　service。



Proverbs　have　grown　out　of　it　in　every　language。　　〃No　man　is　a　hero　

to　his　valet；〃　and　〃familiarity　breeds　contempt；〃　are　clear　enough。　　

Our　comic　papers　are　full　of　the　misunderstandings　and　absurdities　

of　the　situation；　while　one　rarely　sees　a　joke　made　about　the　other　

ways　that　the　poor　earn　their　living。　　Think　of　it　for　a　moment！　　

To　be　obliged　to　attend　people　at　the　times　of　day　when　they　are　

least　attractive；　when　from　fatigue　or　temper　they　drop　the　mask　

that　society　glues　to　their　faces　so　many　hours　in　the　twenty…four；　

to　see　always　the　seamy　side　of　life；　the　small　expedients；　the　

aids　to　nature；　to　stand　behind　a　chair　and　hear　an　acquaintance　of　

your　master's　ridiculed；　who　has　just　been　warmly　praised　to　his　

face；　to　see　a　hostess　who　has　been　graciously　urging　her　guests　

〃not　to　go　so　soon；〃　blurt　out　all　her　boredom　and　thankfulness　

〃that　those　tiresome　So…and…So's〃　are　〃paid　off　at　last；〃　as　soon　

as　the　door　is　closed　behind　them；　must　needs　give　a　curious　bent　

to　a　servant's　mind。　　They　see　their　employers　insincere；　and　copy　

them。　　Many　a　mistress　who　has　been　smilingly　assured　by　her　maid　

how　much　her　dress　becomes　her；　and　how　young　she　is　looking；　would　

be　thunderstruck　to　hear　herself　laughed　at　and　criticised　（none　

too　delicately）　five　minutes　later　in　that　servant's　talk。



Servants　are　trained　from　their　youth　up　to　conceal　their　true　

feelings。　　A　domestic　who　said　what　she　thought　would　quickly　lose　

her　place。　　Frankly；　is　it　not　asking　a　good　deal　to　expect　a　maid　

to　be　very　fond　of　a　lady　who　makes　her　sit　up　night　after　night　

until　the　small　hours　to　unlace　her　bodice　or　take　down　her　hair；　

or　imagine　a　valet　can　be　devoted　to　a　master　he　has　to　get　into　

bed　as　best　he　can　because　he　is　too　tipsy　to　get　there　unaided？　　

Immortal　〃Figaro〃　is　the　type！　　Supple；　liar；　corrupt；　intelligent；　

…　he　aids　his　master　and　laughs　at　him；　feathering　his　own　nest　the　

while。　　There　is　a　saying　that　〃horses　corrupt　whoever　lives　with　

them。〃　　It　would　be　more　correct　to　say　that　domestic　service　

demoralizes　alike　both　master　and　man。



Already　we　are　obliged　to　depend　on　immigration　for　our　servants　

because　an　American　revolts　from　the　false　position；　though　he　

willingly　accepts　longer　hours　or　harder　work　where　he　has　no　one　

around　him　but　his　equals。　　It　is　the　old　story　of　the　free；　hungry　

wolf；　and　the　well…fed；　but　chained；　house…dog。　　The　foreigners　

that　immigration　now　brings　us；　from　countries　where　great　class　

distinctions　exist；　find　it　natural　to　〃serve。〃　　With　the　increase　

in