the secret places of the heart-第6节

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after　all　what　we　really　are？〃　he　asked　the　doctor。　〃EssentiallyRage。　A　rage　in　dead　matter；　making　it　alive。〃　〃Schopenhauer；〃　footnoted　the　doctor。　〃Boehme。〃　〃Plain　fact；　〃said　Sir　Richmond。　〃No　Rageno　Go。〃　〃But　rage　without　discipline？〃　〃Discipline　afterwards。　The　rage　first。〃　〃But　rage　against　what？　And　FOR　what？〃　〃Against　the　Universe。　And　for？　That's　more　difficult。　What　IS　the　little　beast　squalling　itself　crimson　for？　Ultimately？　。　。　。　What　is　it　clutching　after？　In　the　long　run；　what　will　it　get？〃　（〃Yours　the　car　in　distress　what　sent　this？〃　asked　an　unheeded　voice。）　〃Of　course；　if　you　were　to　say　'desire'；〃　said　Dr。　Martineau；　〃then　you　would　be　in　line　with　the　psychoanalysts。　They　talk　of　LIBIDO；　meaning　a　sort　of　fundamental　desire。　Jung　speaks　of　it　at　times　almost　as　if　it　were　the　universal　driving　force。〃　〃No；〃　said　Sir　Richmond；　in　love　with　his　new　idea。　〃Not　desire。　Desire　would　have　a　definite　direction；　and　that　is　just　what　this　driving　force　hasn't。　It's　rage。〃　〃Yours　the　car　in　distress　what　sent　this？〃　the　voice　repeated。　It　was　the　voice　of　a　mechanic　in　an　Overland　car。　He　was　holding　up　the　blue　request　for　assistance　that　Sir　Richmond　had　recently　filled　in。　The　two　philosophers　returned　to　practical　matters。　Section　3　For　half　an　hour　after　the　departure　of　the　little　Charmeuse　car　with　Sir　Richmond　and　Dr。　Martineau；　the　brass　Mercury　lay　unheeded　in　the　dusty　roadside　grass。　Then　it　caught　the　eye　of　a　passing　child。　He　was　a　bright　little　boy　of　five。　From　the　moment　when　he　caught　the　gleam　of　brass　he　knew　that　he　had　made　the　find　of　his　life。　But　his　nurse　was　a　timorous；　foolish　thing。　〃You　did　ought　to　of　left　it　there；　Masterrarry；〃　she　said。　〃Findings　ain't　keepings　nowadays；　not　by　no　manner　of　means；　Masterrarry。　〃Yew'd　look　silly　if　a　policeman　came　along　arsting　people　if　they　seen　a　goldennimage。　〃Arst　yer　'ow　you　come　by　it　and　look　pretty　straight　at　you。〃　All　of　which　grumblings　Master　Harry　treated　with　an　experienced　disregard。　He　knew　definitely　that　he　would　never　relinquish　this　bright　and　lovely　possession　again。　It　was　the　first　beautiful　thing　he　had　ever　possessed。　He　was　the　darling　of　fond　and　indulgent　parents　and　his　nursery　was　crowded　with　hideous　rag　and　sawdust　dolls；　golliwogs；　comic　penguins；　comic　lions；　comic　elephants　and　comic　policemen　and　every　variety　of　suchlike　humorous　idiocy　and　visual　beastliness。　This　figure；　solid；　delicate　and　gracious；　was　a　thing　of　a　different　order。　There　was　to　be　much　conflict　and　distress；　tears　and　wrath；　before　the　affinity　of　that　cleanlimbed；　shining　figure　and　his　small　soul　was　recognized。　But　he　carried　his　point　at　last。　The　Mercury　became　his　inseparable　darling；　his　symbol；　his　private　god；　the　one　dignified　and　serious　thing　in　a　little　life　much　congested　by　the　quaint；　the　burlesque；　and　all　the　smiling；　dull　condescensions　of　adult　love。

CHAPTER　THE　FOURTH　AT　MAIDENHEAD　Section　1　The　little　Charmeuse　was　towed　to　hospital　and　the　two　psychiatrists　took　up　their　quarters　at　the　Radiant　Hotel　with　its　pleasant　lawns　and　graceful　landing　stage　at　the　bend　towards　the　bridge。　Sir　Richmond；　after　some　trying　work　at　the　telephone；　got　into　touch　with　his　own　proper　car。　A　man　would　bring　the　car　down　in　two　days'　time　at　latest；　and　afterwards　the　detested　coupe　could　go　back　to　London。　The　day　was　still　young；　and　after　lunch　and　coffee　upon　a　sunny　lawn　a　boat　seemed　indicated。　Sir　Richmond　astonished　the　doctor　by　going　to　his　room；　reappearing　dressed　in　tennis　flannels　and　looking　very　well　in　them。　It　occurred　to　the　doctor　as　a　thing　hitherto　unnoted　that　Sir　Richmond　was　not　indifferent　to　his　personal　appearance。　The　doctor　had　no　flannels；　but　he　had　brought　a　brown　holland　umbrella　lined　with　green　that　he　had　acquired　long　ago　in　Algiers；　and　this　served　to　give　him　something　of　the　riverside　quality。　The　day　was　full　of　sunshine　and　the　river　had　a　Maytime　animation。　Pink　geraniums；　vivid　green　lawns；　gay　awnings；　bright　glass；　white　paint　and　shining　metal　set　the　tone　of　Maidenhead　life。　At　lunch　there　had　been　five　or　six　small　tables　with　quietly　affectionate　couples　who　talked　in　undertones；　a　tableful　of　bright…coloured　Jews　who　talked　in　overtones；　and　a　family　party　from　the　Midlands；　badly　smitten　with　shyness；　who　did　not　talk　at　all。　〃A　resort；　of　honeymoon　couples；〃　said　the　doctor；　and　then　rather　knowingly：　〃Temporary　honeymoons；　I　fancy；　in　one　or　two　of　the　cases。〃　〃Decidedly　temporary；〃　said　Sir　Richmond；　considering　the　company〃in　most　of　the　cases　anyhow。　The　two　in　the　corner　might　be　married。　You　never　know　nowadays。〃　He　became　reflective。　。　。　。　After　lunch　and　coffee　he　rowed　the　doctor　up　the　river　towards　Cliveden。　〃The　last　time　I　was　here；〃　he　said；　returning　to　the　subject；　〃I　was　here　on　a　temporary　honeymoon。〃　The　doctor　tried　to　look　as　though　he　had　not　thought　that　could　be　possible。　〃I　know　my　Maidenhead　fairly　well；〃　said　Sir　Richmond。　〃Aquatic　activities；　such　as　rowing；　punting；　messing　about　with　a　boat…hook；　tying　up；　buzzing　about　in　motor　launches；　fouling　other　people's　boats；　are　merely　the　stage　business　of　the　drama。　The　ruling　interests　of　this　place　are　love　largely　illicitand　persistent　drinking。　。　。　。　Don't　you　think　the　bridge　charming　from　here？〃　〃I　shouldn't　have　thoughtdrinking；〃　said　Dr。　Martineau；　after　he　had　done　justice　to　the　bridge　over　his　shoulder。　〃Yes；　the　place　has　a　floating　population　of　quiet　industrious　soakers。　The　incurable　river　man　and　the　river　girl　end　at　that。〃　Dr。　Martineau　encouraged　Sir　Richmond　by　an　appreciative　silence。　〃If　we　are　to　explore　the　secret　places　of　the　heart；〃　Sir　Richmond　went　on；　〃we　shall　have　to　give　some　attention　to　this　Maidenhead　side　of　life。　It　is　very　material　to　my　case。　I　have；as　I　have　saidBEEN　HERE。　This　place　has　beauty　and　charm；　these　piled…up　woods　behind　which　my　Lords　Astor　and　Desborough　keep　their　state；　this　shining　mirror　of　the　water；　brown　and　green　and　sky　blue；　this　fringe　of　reeds　and　scented　rushes　and　forget…me…not　and　lilies；　and　these　perpetually　posing　white　swans：　they　make　a　picture。　A　little　artificial　it　is　true；　one　feels　the　presence　of　a　Conservancy　Board；　planting　the　rushes　and　industriously　nicking　the　swans；　but　none　the　less　delightful。　And　this　setting　has　appealed　to　a　number　of　people　as　an　invitation；　as；　in　a　way；　a　promise。　They　come　here；　responsive　to　that　promise　of　beauty　and　happiness。　They　conceive　of　themselves　here；　rowing　swiftly　and　gracefully；　punting　beautifully；　brandishing　boat…hooks　with　ease　and　charm。　They　look　to　meet；　under　pleasant　or　romantic　circumstances；　other　possessors　and　worshippers　of　grace　and　beauty　here。　There　will　be　glowing　evenings；　warm　moonlight；　distant　voices　singing。　。　。　。There　is　your　desire；　doctor；　the　desire　you　say　is　the　driving　force　of　life。　But　reality　mocks　it。　Boats　bump　and　lead　to　coarse　ungracious　quarrels；　rowing　can　be　curiously　fatiguing；　punting　involves　dreadful　indignities。　The　romance　here　tarnishes　very　quickly。　Romantic　encounters　fail　to　occur；　in　our　impatience　we　resort　toaccosting。　Chilly　mists　arise　from　the　water　and　the　magic　of　distant　singing　is　provided；　even　excessively；　by　boatloads　of　cads　with　collecting　dishes。　When　the　weather　keeps　warm　there　presently　arises　an　extraordinary　multitude　of　gnats；　and　when　it　does　not　there　is　a　need　for　stimulants。　That　is　why　the　dreamers　who　come　here　first　for　a　light　delicious　brush　with　love；　come　down　at　last　to　the　Thamesside　barmaid　with　her　array　of　spirits　and　cordials　as　the　quintessence　of　all　desire。〃　〃I　say；〃　said　the　doctor。　〃You　tear　the　place　to　pieces。〃　〃The　desires　of　the　place；〃　said　Sir　Richmond。　〃I'm　using　the　place　as　a　symbol。〃　He　held　his　sculls　awash；　rippling　in　the　water。　〃The　real　force　of　life；　the　rage　of　life；　isn't　here；〃　he　said。　〃It's　down　underneath；　sulking　and　smouldering。　Every　now　and　then　it　strains　and　cracks　the　surface。　This　stretch　of　the　Thames；　this　pleasure　stretch；　has　in　fact　a　curiously　quarrelsome　atmosphere。　People　scold　and　insult　one　another　for　the　most　trivial　things；　for　passing　too　close；　for　taking　the　wrong　side；　for　tying　up　or　floating　loose。　Most　of　these　notice　boards　on　the　bank　show　a　thoroughly　nasty　spirit。　People　on　the　banks　jeer　at　anyone　in　the　boats。　You　hear　people　quarrelling　in　boats；　in　the　hotels；　as　they　walk　along　the　towing　path。　There　is　remarkably　little　happy　laughter　here。　The　RAGE；　you　see；　is　hostile　to　this　place；　the　RAGE　breaks　through。　。　。　。　The　people　who　drift　from　one　pub　to　another；　drinking；　the　people　who　fuddle　in　the　riverside　hotels；　are　the　last　fugitives　of　pleasure；　trying　to　forget　the　rage。　。　。　。〃　〃Isn't　it　that　there　is　some　greater　desire　at　the　back　of　the　human　mind？〃　the　doctor　suggested。　〃Which　refuses　to　be　content　with　pleasure　as　an　end？〃　〃What　greater　desire？〃　asked　Sir　Richmond；　disconcertingly。　〃Oh！　。　。　。　〃　The　doctor　cast　about。　〃There　is　no　such　greater　desire；〃　said　Sir　Richmond。　〃You　cannot　name　it。　It　is　just　blind　drive。　I　admit　its　discontent　with　pleasure　as　an　endbut　has　it　any　end　of　its　own？　At　the　most　you　can　say　that　the　rage　in　life　is　seeking　its　desire　and　hasn't　found　it。〃　〃Let　us　help　in　the　search；〃　said　the　doctor；　w