the secret places of the heart-第4节

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nstairs　and　found　Lady　Hardy　reading　a　magazine　in　a　dining…room　armchair　and　finely　poised　between　devotion　and　martyrdom。　A　shadow　of　vexation　fell　athwart　his　mind　at　the　sight　of　her。　〃I'd　no　idea　it　was　so　late；〃　he　said。　〃I　heard　no　gong。〃　〃After　you　swore　so　at　poor　Bradley　I　ordered　that　there　should　be　no　gongs　when　we　were　alone。　I　did　come　up　to　your　door　about　half　past　eight。　I　crept　up。　But　I　was　afraid　I　might　upset　you　if　I　came　in。〃　〃But　you've　not　waited〃　〃I've　had　a　mouthful　of　soup。〃　Lady　Hardy　rang　the　bell。　〃I've　done　some　work　at　last；〃　said　Sir　Richmond；　astride　on　the　hearthrug。　〃I'm　glad；〃　said　Lady　Hardy；　without　gladness。　〃I　waited　for　three　hours。〃　Lady　Hardy　was　a　frail　little　blue…eyed　woman　with　uneven　shoulders　and　a　delicate　sweet　profile。　Hers　was　that　type　of　face　that　under　even　the　most　pleasant　and　luxurious　circumstances　still　looks　bravely　and　patiently　enduring。　Her　refinement　threw　a　tinge　of　coarseness　over　his　eager　consumption　of　his　excellent　clear　soup。　〃What's　this　fish；　Bradley？〃　he　asked。　〃Turbot；　Sir　Richmond。〃　〃Don't　you　have　any？〃　he　asked　his　wife。　〃I've　had　a　little　fish；　〃　said　Lady　Hardy。　When　Bradley　was　out　of　the　room；　Sir　Richmond　remarked：　〃I　saw　that　nerves　man；　Dr。　Martineau；　to…day。　He　wants　me　to　take　a　holiday。　〃　The　quiet　patience　of　the　lady's　manner　intensified。　She　said　nothing。　A　flash　of　resentment　lit　Sir　Richmond's　eyes。　When　he　spoke　again；　he　seemed　to　answer　unspoken　accusations。　〃Dr。　Martineau's　idea　is　that　he　should　come　with　me。〃　The　lady　adjusted　herself　to　a　new　point　of　view。　〃But　won't　that　be　reminding　you　of　your　illness　and　worries？〃　〃He　seems　a　good　sort　of　fellow。　。　。　。　I'm　inclined　to　like　him。　He'll　be　as　good　company　as　anyone。　。　。　。　This　TOURNEDOS　looks　excellent。　Have　some。〃　〃I　had　a　little　bird；〃　said　Lady　Hardy；　〃when　I　found　you　weren't　coming。〃　〃But　I　saydon't　wait　here　if　you've　dined。　Bradley　can　see　to　me。〃　She　smiled　and　shook　her　head　with　the　quiet　conviction　of　one　who　knew　her　duty　better。　〃Perhaps　I'll　have　a　little　ice　pudding　when　it　comes；〃　she　said。　Sir　Richmond　detested　eating　alone　in　an　atmosphere　of　observant　criticism。　And　he　did　not　like　talking　with　his　mouth　full　to　an　unembarrassed　interlocutor　who　made　no　conversational　leads　of　her　own。　After　a　few　mouthfuls　he　pushed　his　plate　away　from　him。　〃Then　let's　have　up　the　ice　pudding；〃　he　said　with　a　faint　note　of　bitterness。　〃But　have　you　finished？〃　〃The　ice　pudding！〃　he　exploded　wrathfully。　〃The　ice　pudding！〃　Lady　Hardy　sat　for　a　moment；　a　picture　of　meek　distress。　Then；　her　delicate　eyebrows　raised；　and　the　corners　of　her　mouth　drooping；　she　touched　the　button　of　the　silver　table…　bell。

CHAPTER　THE　THIRD　THE　DEPARTURE　Section　1　No　wise　man　goes　out　upon　a　novel　expedition　without　misgivings。　And　between　their　first　meeting　and　the　appointed　morning　both　Sir　Richmond　Hardy　and　Dr。　Martineau　were　the　prey　of　quite　disagreeable　doubts　about　each　other；　themselves；　and　the　excursion　before　them。　At　the　time　of　their　meeting　each　had　been　convinced　that　he　gauged　the　other　sufficiently　for　the　purposes　of　the　proposed　tour。　Afterwards　each　found　himself　trying　to　recall　the　other　with　greater　distinctness　and　able　to　recall　nothing　but　queer；　ominous　and　minatory　traits。　The　doctor's　impression　of　the　great　fuel　specialist　grew　ever　darker；　leaner；　taller　and　more　impatient。　Sir　Richmond　took　on　the　likeness　of　a　monster　obdurate　and　hostile；　he　spread　upwards　until　like　the　Djinn　out　of　the　bottle；　he　darkened　the　heavens。　And　he　talked　too　much。　He　talked　ever　so　much　too　much。　Sir　Richmond　also　thought　that　the　doctor　talked　too　much。　In　addition；　he　read　into　his　imperfect　memory　of　the　doctor's　face；　an　expression　of　protruded　curiosity。　What　was　all　this　problem　of　motives　and　inclinations　that　they　were　〃going　into〃　so　gaily？　He　had　merely　consulted　the　doctor　on　a　simple；　straightforward　need　for　a　nervous　tonicthat　was　what　he　had　neededa　tonic。　Instead　he　had　engaged　himself　forhe　scarcely　knew　whatan　indiscreet；　indelicate；　and　altogether　undesirable　experiment　in　confidences。　Both　men　were　considerably　reassured　when　at　last　they　set　eyes　on　each　other　again。　Indeed　each　was　surprised　to　find　something　almost　agreeable　in　the　appearance　of　the　other。　Dr。　Martineau　at　once　perceived　that　the　fierceness　of　Sir　Richmond　was　nothing　more　than　the　fierceness　of　an　overwrought　man；　and　Sir　Richmond　realized　at　a　glance　that　the　curiosity　of　Dr。　Martineau's　bearing　had　in　it　nothing　personal　or　base；　it　was　just　the　fine　alertness　of　the　scientific　mind。　Sir　Richmond　had　arrived　nearly　forty　minutes　late；　and　it　would　have　been　evident　to　a　much　less　highly　trained　observer　than　Dr。　Martineau　that　some　dissension　had　arisen　between　the　little；　ladylike；　cream　and　black　Charmeuse　car　and　its　owner。　There　was　a　faint　air　of　resentment　and　protest　between　them。　As　if　Sir　Richmond　had　been　in　some　way　rude　to　it。　The　cap　of　the　radiator　was　adorned　with　a　little　brass　figure　of　a　flying　Mercury。　Frozen　in　a　sprightly　attitude；　its　stiff　bound　and　its　fixed　heavenward　stare　was　highly　suggestive　of　a　forced　and　tactful　disregard　of　current　unpleasantness。　Nothing　was　said；　however；　to　confirm　or　dispel　this　suspicion　of　a　disagreement　between　the　man　and　the　car。　Sir　Richmond　directed　and　assisted　Dr。　Martineau's　man　to　adjust　the　luggage　at　the　back；　and　Dr。　Martineau　watched　the　proceedings　from　his　dignified　front　door。　He　was　wearing　a　suit　of　fawn　tweeds；　a　fawn　Homburg　hat　and　a　light　Burberry；　with　just　that　effect　of　special　preparation　for　a　holiday　which　betrays　the　habitually　busy　man。　Sir　Richmond's　brown　gauntness　was；　he　noted；　greatly　set　off　by　his　suit　of　grey。　There　had　certainly　been　some　sort　of　quarrel。　Sir　Richmond　was　explaining　the　straps　to　Dr。　Martineau's　butler　with　the　coldness　a　man　betrays　when　he　explains　the　uncongenial　habits　of　some　unloved　intimate。　And　when　the　moment　came　to　start　and　the　little　engine　did　not　immediately　respond　to　the　electric　starter；　he　said：　〃Oh！　COME　up；　you！〃　His　voice　sank　at　the　last　word　as　though　it　was　an　entirely　confidential　communication　to　the　little　car。　And　it　was　an　extremely　low　and　disagreeable　word。　So　Dr。　Martineau　decided　that　it　was　not　his　business　to　hear　it。　。　。　。　It　was　speedily　apparent　that　Sir　Richmond　was　an　experienced　and　excellent　driver。　He　took　the　Charmeuse　out　into　the　traffic　of　Baker　Street　and　westward　through　brisk　and　busy　streets　and　roads　to　Brentford　and　Hounslow　smoothly　and　swiftly；　making　a　score　of　unhesitating　and　accurate　decisions　without　apparent　thought。　There　was　very　little　conversation　until　they　were　through　Brentford。　Near　Shepherd's　Bush；　Sir　Richmond　had　explained；　〃This　is　not　my　own　particular　car。　That　was　butted　into　at　the　garage　this　morning　and　its　radiator　cracked。　So　I　had　to　fall　back　on　this。　It's　quite　a　good　little　car。　In　its　way。　My　wife　drives　it　at　times。　It　has　one　or　two　constitutional　weaknessesincidental　to　the　makegear…box　over　the　back　axle　for　examplegets　all　the　vibration。　Whole　machine　rather　on　the　flimsy　side。　Still〃　He　left　the　topic　at　that。　Dr。　Martineau　said　something　of　no　consequence　about　its　being　a　very　comfortable　little　car。　Somewhere　between　Brentford　and　Hounslow；　Sir　Richmond　plunged　into　the　matter　between　them。　〃I　don't　know　how　deep　we　are　going　into　these　psychological　probings　of　yours；〃　he　said。　〃But　I　doubt　very　much　if　we　shall　get　anything　out　of　them。〃　〃Probably　not；〃　said　Dr。　Martineau。　〃After　all；　what　I　want　is　a　tonic。　I　don't　see　that　there　is　anything　positively　wrong　with　me。　A　certain　lack　of　energy　〃　〃Lack　of　balance；〃　corrected　the　doctor。　〃You　are　wasting　energy　upon　internal　friction。　〃But　isn't　that　inevitable？　No　machine　is　perfectly　efficient。　No　man　either。　There　is　always　a　waste。　Waste　of　the　type；　waste　of　the　individual　idiosyncrasy。　This　little　car；　for　instance；　isn't　pulling　as　she　ought　to　pullshe　never　does。　She's　low　in　her　class。　So　with　myself；　there　is　a　natural　and　necessary　high　rate　of　energy　waste。　Moods　of　apathy　and　indolence　are　natural　to　me。　（Damn　that　omnibus！　All　over　the　road！）〃　〃We　don't　deny　the　imperfection〃　began　the　doctor。　〃One　has　to　fit　oneself　to　one's　circumstances；〃　said　Sir　Richmond；　opening　up　another　line　of　thought。　〃We　don't　deny　the　imperfection〃　the　doctor　stuck　to　it。　〃These　new　methods　of　treatment　are　based　on　the　idea　of　imperfection。　We　begin　with　that。　I　began　with　that　last　Tuesday。　。　。　。〃　Sir　Richmond；　too；　was　sticking　to　his　argument。　〃A　man；　and　for　that　matter　the　world　he　lives　in；　is　a　tangle　of　accumulations。　Your　psychoanalyst　starts；　it　seems　to　me；　with　a　notion　of　stripping　down　to　something　fundamental。　The　ape　before　was　a　tangle　of　accumulations；　just　as　we　are。　So　it　was　with　his　forebears。　So　it　has　always　been。　All　life　is　an　endless　tangle　of　accumulations。〃　〃Recognize　it；〃　said　the　doctor。　〃And　then？〃　said　Sir　Richmond；　controversially。　〃Recognize　in　particular　your　own　tangle。〃　〃Is　my　particular　tangle　very　different　from　the　general　tangle？　（Oh！　Damn　this　feeble　little　engine！）　I　am　a　creature　of　undecided　will；　urged　on　by　my　tangled　heredity　to　do　a　score　of　entirely　incompatible　things。　Mankind；　all　life；　is　that。〃