the secret places of the heart-第33节

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le　one　of　these　flowers〃　she　cried；　〃except　the　bluebells。　Look　at　this　great　handful　I've　gotten！　Springtime　in　Italy　doesn't　compare　with　it；　not　for　a　moment。〃　Section　5　Because　Belinda　Seyffert　was　in　the　dicky　behind　them　with　her　alert　interest　in　their　emotions　all　too　thinly　and　obviously　veiled；　it　seemed　more　convenient　to　Sir　Richmond　and　Miss　Grammont　to　talk　not　of　themselves　but　of　Man　and　Woman　and　of　that　New　Age　according　to　the　prophet　Martineau；　which　Sir　Richmond　had　partly　described　and　mainly　invented　and　ascribed　to　his　departed　friend。　They　talked　anthropologically；　philosophically；　speculatively；　with　an　absurd　pretence　of　detachment；　they　sat　side　by　side　in　the　little　car；　scarcely　glancing　at　one　another；　but　side　by　side　and　touching　each　other；　and　all　the　while　they　were　filled　with　tenderness　and　love　and　hunger　for　one　another。　In　the　course　of　a　day　or　so　they　had　touched　on　nearly　every　phase　in　the　growth　of　Man　and　Woman　from　that　remote　and　brutish　past　which　has　left　its　traces　in　human　bones　mingled　with　the　bones　of　hyaenas　and　cave　bears　beneath　the　stalagmites　of　Wookey　Hole　near　Wells。　In　those　nearly　forgotten　days　the　mind　of　man　and　woman　had　been　no　more　than　an　evanescent　succession　of　monstrous　and　infantile　imaginations。　That　brief　journey　in　the　west　country　had　lit　up　phase　after　phase　in　the　long　teaching　and　discipline　of　man　as　he　had　developed　depth　of　memory　and　fixity　of　purpose　out　of　these　raw　beginnings；　through　the　dreaming　childhood　of　Avebury　and　Stonehenge　and　the　crude　boyhood　of　ancient　wars　and　massacres。　Sir　Richmond　recalled　those　phases　now；　and　how；　as　they　had　followed　one　another；　man's　idea　of　woman　and　woman's　idea　of　man　had　changed　with　them；　until　nowadays　in　the　minds　of　civilized　men　brute　desire　and　possession　and　a　limitless　jealousy　had　become　almost　completely　overlaid　by　the　desire　for　fellowship　and　a　free　mutual　loyalty。　〃Overlaid；〃　he　said。　〃The　older　passions　are　still　there　like　the　fires　in　an　engine。〃　He　invented　a　saying　for　Dr。　Martineau　that　the　Man　in　us　to…day　was　still　the　old　man　of　Palaeolithic　times；　with　his　will；　his　wrath　against　the　universe　increased　rather　than　diminished。　If　to…　day　he　ceases　to　crack　his　brother's　bones　and　rape　and　bully　his　womenkind；　it　is　because　he　has　grown　up　to　a　greater　game　and　means　to　crack　this　world　and　feed　upon　its　marrow　and　wrench　their　secrets　from　the　stars。　And　furthermore　it　would　seem　that　the　prophet　Martineau　had　declared　that　in　this　New　Age　that　was　presently　to　dawn　for　mankind；　jealousy　was　to　be　disciplined　even　as　we　had　disciplined　lust　and　anger；　instead　of　ruling　our　law　it　was　to　be　ruled　by　law　and　custom。　No　longer　were　the　jealousy　of　strange　peoples；　the　jealousy　of　ownership　and　the　jealousy　of　sex　to　determine　the　framework　of　human　life。　There　was　to　be　one　peace　and　law　throughout　the　world；　one　economic　scheme　and　a　universal　freedom　for　men　and　women　to　possess　and　give　themselves。　〃And　how　many　generations　yet　must　there　be　before　we　reach　that　Utopia？〃　Miss　Grammont　asked。　〃I　wouldn't　put　it　at　a　very　great　distance。〃　〃But　think　of　all　the　confusions　of　the　world！〃　〃Confusions　merely。　The　world　is　just　a　muddle　of　states　and　religions　and　theories　and　stupidities。　There　are　great　lumps　of　disorderly　strength　in　it；　but　as　a　whole　it　is　a　weak　world。　It　goes　on　by　habit。　There's　no　great　idea　in　possession　and　the　only　possible　great　idea　is　this　one。　The　New　Age　may　be　nearer　than　we　dare　to　suppose。〃　〃If　I　could　believe　that！〃　〃There　are　many　more　people　think　as　we　do　than　you　suppose。　Are　you　and　I　such　very　strange　and　wonderful　and　exceptional　people？〃　〃No。　I　don't　think　so。〃　〃And　yet　the　New　World　is　already　completely　established　in　our　hearts。　What　has　been　done　in　our　minds　can　be　done　in　most　minds。　In　a　little　while　the　muddled　angry　mind　of　Man　upon　his　Planet　will　grow　clear　and　it　will　be　this　idea　that　will　have　made　it　clear。　And　then　life　will　be　very　different　for　everyone。　That　tyranny　of　disorder　which　oppresses　every　life　on　earth　now　will　be　lifted。　There　will　be　less　and　less　insecurity；　less　and　less　irrational　injustice。　It　will　be　a　better　instructed　and　a　better　behaved　world。　We　shall　live　at　our　ease；　not　perpetually　anxious；　not　resentful　and　angry。　And　that　will　alter　all　the　rules　of　love。　Then　we　shall　think　more　of　the　loveliness　of　other　people　because　it　will　no　longer　be　necessary　to　think　so　much　of　the　dangers　and　weaknesses　and　pitifulliesses　of　other　people。　We　shall　not　have　to　think　of　those　who　depend　upon　us　for　happiness　and　selfrespect。　We　shall　not　have　to　choose　between　a　wasteful　fight　for　a　personal　end　or　the　surrender　of　our　heart's　desire。〃　〃Heart's　desire；〃　she　whispered。　〃Am　I　indeed　your　heart's　desire？〃　Sir　Richmond　sank　his　head　and　voice　in　response。　〃You　are　the　best　of　all　things。　And　I　have　to　let　you　go。〃　Sir　Richmond　suddenly　remembered　Miss　Seyffert　and　half　turned　his　face　towards　her。　Her　forehead　was　just　visible　over　the　hood　of　the　open　coupe。　She　appeared　to　be　intelligently　intent　upon　the　scenery。　Then　he　broke　out　suddenly　into　a　tirade　against　the　world。　〃But　I　am　bored　by　this　jostling　unreasonable　world。　At　the　bottom　of　my　heart　I　am　bitterly　resentful　to…day。　This　is　a　world　of　fools　and　brutes　in　which　we　live；　a　world　of　idiotic　traditions；　imbecile　limitations；　cowardice；　habit；　greed　and　mean　cruelty。　It　is　a　slum　of　a　world；　a　congested　district；　an　insanitary　jumble　of　souls　and　bodies。　Every　good　thing；　every　sweet　desire　is　thwartedevery　one。　I　have　to　lead　the　life　of　a　slum　missionary；　a　sanitary　inspector；　an　underpaid　teacher。　I　am　bored。　Oh　God！　how　I　am　bored！　I　am　bored　by　our　laws　and　customs。　I　am　bored　by　our　rotten　empire　and　its　empty　monarchy。　I　am　bored　by　its　parades　and　its　flags　and　its　sham　enthusiasms。　I　am　bored　by　London　and　its　life；　by　its　smart　life　and　by　its　servile　life　alike。　I　am　bored　by　theatres　and　by　books　and　by　every　sort　of　thing　that　people　call　pleasure。　I　am　bored　by　the　brag　of　people　and　the　claims　of　people　and　the　feelings　of　people。　Damn　people！　I　am　bored　by　profiteers　and　by　the　snatching　they　call　business　enterprise。　Damn　every　business　man！　I　am　bored　by　politics　and　the　universal　mismanagement　of　everything。　I　am　bored　by　France；　by　AngloSaxondom；　by　German　self…pity；　by　Bolshevik　fanaticism。　I　am　bored　by　these　fools'　squabbles　that　devastate　the　world。　I　am　bored　by　Ireland；　Orange　and　Green。　Curse　the　Irishnorth　and　south　together！　Lord！　how　I　HATE　the　Irish　from　Carson　to　the　last　Sinn　Feiner！　And　I　am　bored　by　India　and　by　Egypt。　I　am　bored　by　Poland　and　by　Islam。　I　am　bored　by　anyone　who　professes　to　have　rights。　Damn　their　rights！　Curse　their　rights！　I　am　bored　to　death　by　this　year　and　by　last　year　and　by　the　prospect　of　next　year。　I　am　boredI　am　horribly　boredby　my　work。　I　am　bored　by　every　sort　of　renunciation。　I　want　to　live　with　the　woman　I　love　and　I　want　to　work　within　the　limits　of　my　capacity。　Curse　all　Hullo！　Damn　his　eyes！Steady；　ah！　The　spark！　。　。　。　Good！　No　skid。〃　He　had　come　round　a　corner　at　five　and　twenty　miles　an　hour　and　had　stopped　his　spark　and　pulled　up　neatly　within　a　yard　of　the　fore…wheel　of　a　waggon　that　was　turning　in　the　road　so　as　to　block　the　way　completely。　〃That　almost　had　me。　。　。　。　〃And　now　you　feel　better？〃　said　Miss　Grammont。　〃Ever　so　much；〃　said　Sir　Richmond　and　chuckled。　The　waggoner　cleared　the　road　and　the　car　started　up　again。　For　a　minute　or　so　neither　spoke。　〃You　ought　to　be　smacked　hard　for　that　outbreak；my　dear；〃　said　Miss　Grammont。　〃I　oughtMY　dear。　I　have　no　right　to　be　ill…tempered。　We　two　are　among　the　supremely　fortunate　ones　of　our　time。　We　have　no　excuse　for　misbehaviour。　Got　nothing　to　grumble　at。　Always　I　am　lucky。　THATwith　the　waggonwas　a　very　near　thing。　God　spoils　us。　〃We　two；〃　he　went　on；　after　a　pause；　〃are　among　the　most　fortunate　people　alive。　We　are　both　rich　and　easily　rich。　That　gives　us　freedoms　few　people　have。　We　have　a　vision　of　the　whole　world　in　which　we　live。　It's　in　a　messbut　that　is　by　the　way。　The　mass　of　mankind　never　gets　enough　education　to　have　even　a　glimpse　of　the　world　as　a　whole。　They　never　get　a　chance　to　get　the　hang　of　it。　It　is　really　possible　for　us　to　do　things　that　will　matter　in　the　world。　All　our　time　is　our　own；　all　our　abilities　we　are　free　to　use。　Most　people；　most　intelligent　and　educated　people；　are　caught　in　cages　of　pecuniary　necessity；　they　are　tied　to　tasks　they　can't　leave；　they　are　driven　and　compelled　and　limited　by　circumstances　they　can　never　master。　But　we；　if　we　have　tasks；　have　tasks　of　our　own　choosing。　We　may　not　like　the　world；　but　anyhow　we　are　free　to　do　our　best　to　alter　it。　If　I　were　a　clerk　in　Hoxton　and　you　were　a　city　typist；　then　we　MIGHT　swear。　〃　〃It　was　you　who　swore；〃　smiled　Miss　Grammont。　〃It's　the　thought　of　that　clerk　in　Hoxton　and　that　city　typist　who　really　keep　me　at　my　work。　Any　smacking　ought　to　come　from　them。　I　couldn't　do　less　than　I　do　in　the　face　of　their　helplessness。　Nevertheless　a　day　will　comethrough　what　we　do　and　what　we　refrain　from　doing　when　there　will　be　no　bound　and　limited　clerks　in　Hoxton　and　no　captive　typists　in　the　city。　And　nobody　at　all　to　consider。〃　〃According　to　the　prophet