the secret places of the heart-第1节

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The　Secret　Places　of　the　Heart
by　H。　G。　Wells


1922
CONTENTS
Chapter
1。　THE　CONSULTATION
2。　LADY　HARDY
3。　THE　DEPARTURE
4。　AT　MAIDENHEAD
5。　IN　THE　LAND　OF　THE　FORGOTTEN　PEOPLES
6。　THE　ENCOUNTER　AT　STONEHENGE
7。　COMPANIONSHIP
8。　FULL　MOON
9。　THE　LAST　DAYS　OF　SIR　RICHMOND　HARDY

THE　SECRET　PLACES　OF　THE　HEART

CHAPTER　THE　FIRST

Section　1　

The　maid　was　a　young　woman　of　great　natural　calmness；　she　was　accustomed　to　let　in　visitors　who　had　this　air　of　being　annoyed　and　finding　one　umbrella　too　numerous　for　them。　It　mattered　nothing　to　her　that　the　gentleman　was　asking　for　Dr。　Martineau　as　if　he　was　asking　for　something　with　an　unpleasant　taste。　Almost　imperceptibly　she　relieved　him　of　his　umbrella　and　juggled　his　hat　and　coat　on　to　a　massive　mahogany　stand。　〃What　name；　Sir？〃　she　asked；　holding　open　the　door　of　the　consulting　room。　〃Hardy；〃　said　the　gentleman；　and　then　yielding　it　reluctantly　with　its　distasteful　three…year…old　honour；　〃Sir　Richmond　Hardy。〃　The　door　closed　softly　behind　him　and　he　found　himself　in　undivided　possession　of　the　large　indifferent　apartment　in　which　the　nervous　and　mental　troubles　of　the　outer　world　eddied　for　a　time　on　their　way　to　the　distinguished　specialist。　A　bowl　of　daffodils；　a　handsome　bookcase　containing　bound　Victorian　magazines　and　antiquated　medical　works；　some　paintings　of　Scotch　scenery；　three　big　armchairs；　a　buhl　clock；　and　a　bronze　Dancing　Faun；　by　their　want　of　any　collective　idea　enhanced　rather　than　mitigated　the　promiscuous　disregard　of　the　room。　He　drifted　to　the　midmost　of　the　three　windows　and　stared　out　despondently　at　Harley　Street。　For　a　minute　or　so　he　remained　as　still　and　limp　as　an　empty　jacket　on　its　peg；　and　then　a　gust　of　irritation　stirred　him。　〃Damned　fool　I　was　to　come　here；〃　he　said。。。〃DAMNED　fool！　〃Rush　out　of　the　place？　。　。　。　〃I've　given　my　name。〃　。　。　。　He　heard　the　door　behind　him　open　and　for　a　moment　pretended　not　to　hear。　Then　he　turned　round。　〃I　don't　see　what　you　can　do　for　me；〃　he　said。　〃I'm　sure　_I_　don't；〃　said　the　doctor。　〃People　come　here　and　talk。〃　There　was　something　reassuringly　inaggressive　about　the　figure　that　confronted　Sir　Richmond。　Dr。　Martineau's　height　wanted　at　least　three　inches　of　Sir　Richmond's　five　feet　eleven；　he　was　humanly　plump；　his　face　was　round　and　pink　and　cheerfully　wistful；　a　little　suggestive　of　the　full　moon；　of　what　the　full　moon　might　be　if　it　could　get　fresh　air　and　exercise。　Either　his　tailor　had　made　his　trousers　too　short　or　he　had　braced　them　too　high　so　that　he　seemed　to　have　grown　out　of　them　quite　recently。　Sir　Richmond　had　been　dreading　an　encounter　with　some　dominating　and　mesmeric　personality；　this　amiable　presence　dispelled　his　preconceived　resistances。　Dr。　Martineau；　a　little　out　of　breath　as　though　he　had　been　running　upstairs；　with　his　hands　in　his　trouser　pockets；　seemed　intent　only　on　disavowals。　〃People　come　here　and　talk。　It　does　them　good；　and　sometimes　I　am　able　to　offer　a　suggestion。　〃Talking　to　someone　who　understands　a　little；〃　he　expanded　the　idea。　〃I'm　jangling　damnably。。。overwork。。　。　。　。〃　〃Not　overwork；〃　Dr。　Martineau　corrected。　〃Not　overwork。　Overwork　never　hurt　anyone。　Fatigue　stops　that。　A　man　can　workgood　straightforward　work；　without　internal　resistance；　until　he　drops；and　never　hurt　himself。　You　must　be　working　against　friction。〃　〃Friction！　I'm　like　a　machine　without　oil。　I'm　grinding　to　death。　。　。　。　And　it's　so　DAMNED　important　I　SHOULDN'T　break　down。　It's　VITALLY　important。〃　He　stressed　his　words　and　reinforced　them　with　a　quivering　gesture　of　his　upraised　clenched　hand。　〃My　temper's　in　rags。　I　explode　at　any　little　thing。　I'm　RAW。　I　can't　work　steadily　for　ten　minutes　and　I　can't　leave　off　working。〃　〃Your　name；〃　said　the　doctor；　〃is　familiar。　Sir　Richmond　Hardy？　In　the　papers。　What　is　it？〃　〃Fuel。〃　〃Of　course！　The　Fuel　Commission。　Stupid　of　me！　We　certainly　can't　afford　to　have　you　ill。〃　〃I　AM　ill。　But　you　can't　afford　to　have　me　absent　from　that　Commission。〃　〃Your　technical　knowledge〃　〃Technical　knowledge　be　damned！　Those　men　mean　to　corner　the　national　fuel　supply。　And　waste　it！　For　their　profits。　That's　what　I'm　up　against。　You　don't　know　the　job　I　have　to　do。　You　don't　know　what　a　Commission　of　that　sort　is。　The　moral　tangle　of　it。　You　don't　know　how　its　possibilities　and　limitations　are　canvassed　and　schemed　about；　long　before　a　single　member　is　appointed。　Old　Cassidy　worked　the　whole　thing　with　the　prime　minister。　I　can　see　that　now　as　plain　as　daylight。　I　might　have　seen　it　at　first。　。　。　。　Three　experts　who'd　been　got　at；　they　thought　_I_'d　been　got　at；　two　Labour　men　who'd　do　anything　you　wanted　them　to　do　provided　you　called　them　'level…headed。'　Wagstaffe　the　socialist　art　critic　who　could　be　trusted　to　play　the　fool　and　make　nationalization　look　silly；　and　the　rest　mine　owners；　railway　managers；　oil　profiteers；　financial　adventurers。　。　。　。　〃　He　was　fairly　launched。　〃It's　the　blind　folly　of　it！　In　the　days　before　the　war　it　was　different。　Then　there　was　abundance。　A　little　grabbing　or　cornering　was　all　to　the　good。　All　to　the　good。　It　prevented　things　being　used　up　too　fast。　And　the　world　was　running　by　habit；　the　inertia　was　tremendous。　You　could　take　all　sorts　of　liberties。　But　all　this　is　altered。　We're　living　in　a　different　world。　The　public　won't　stand　things　it　used　to　stand。　It's　a　new　public。　It'swild。　It'll　smash　up　the　show　if　they　go　too　far。　Everything　short　and　running　shorterfood；　fuel；　material。　But　these　people　go　on。　They　go　on　as　though　nothing　had　changed。　。　。　。　Strikes；　Russia；　nothing　will　warn　them。　There　are　men　on　that　Commission　who　would　steal　the　brakes　off　a　mountain　railway　just　before　they　went　down　in　it。　。　。　。　It's　a　struggle　with　suicidal　imbeciles。　It's！　But　I'm　talking！　I　didn't　come　here　to　talk　Fuel。〃　〃You　think　there　may　be　a　smash…up？〃　〃I　lie　awake　at　night；　thinking　of　it。〃　〃A　social　smash…up。〃　〃Economic。　Social。　Yes。　Don't　you？〃　〃A　social　smash…up　seems　to　me　altogether　a　possibility。　All　sorts　of　people　I　find　think　that；〃　said　the　doctor。　〃All　sorts　of　people　lie　awake　thinking　of　it。〃　〃I　wish　some　of　my　damned　Committee　would！〃　The　doctor　turned　his　eyes　to　the　window。　〃I　lie　awake　too；〃　he　said　and　seemed　to　reflect。　But　he　was　observing　his　patient　acutelywith　his　ears。　〃But　you　see　how　important　it　is；〃　said　Sir　Richmond；　and　left　his　sentence　unfinished。　〃I'll　do　what　I　can　for　you；〃　said　the　doctor；　and　considered　swiftly　what　line　of　talk　he　had　best　follow。　Section　2　〃This　sense　of　a　coming　smash　is　epidemic；〃　said　the　doctor。　〃It's　at　the　back　of　all　sorts　of　mental　trouble。　It　is　a　new　state　of　mind。　Before　the　war　it　was　abnormala　phase　of　neurasthenia。　Now　it　is　almost　the　normal　state　with　whole　classes　of　intelligent　people。　Intelligent；　I　say。　The　others　always　have　been　casual　and　adventurous　and　always　will　be。　A　loss　of　confidence　in　the　general　background　of　life。　So　that　we　seem　to　float　over　abysses。〃　〃We　do；〃　said　Sir　Richmond。　〃And　we　have　nothing　but　the　old　habits　and　ideas　acquired　in　the　days　of　our　assurance。　There　is　a　discord；　a　jarring。〃　The　doctor　pursued　his　train　of　thought。　〃A　new；　raw　and　dreadful　sense　of　responsibility　for　the　universe。　Accompanied　by　a　realization　that　the　job　is　overwhelmingly　too　big　for　us。〃　〃We've　got　to　stand　up　to　the　job；〃　said　Sir　Richmond。　〃Anyhow；　what　else　is　there　to　do？　We　MAY　keep　things　together。　。　。　。　〃I've　got　to　do　my　bit。　And　if　only　I　could　hold　myself　at　it；　I　could　beat　those　fellows。　But　that's　where　the　devil　of　it　comes　in。　Never　have　I　been　so　desirous　to　work　well　in　my　life。　And　never　have　I　been　so　slack　and　weak…willed　and　inaccurate。　。。。　Sloppy。　。　。　。　Indolent。　。　。　。　VISCIOUS！　。　。　。　〃　The　doctor　was　about　to　speak；　but　Sir　Richmond　interrupted　him。　〃What's　got　hold　of　me？　What's　got　hold　of　me？　I　used　to　work　well　enough。　It's　as　if　my　will　had　come　untwisted　and　was　ravelling　out　into　separate　strands。　I've　lost　my　unity。　I'm　not　a　man　but　a　mob。　I've　got　to　recover　my　vigour。　At　any　cost。〃　Again　as　the　doctor　was　about　to　speak　the　word　was　taken　out　of　his　mouth。　〃And　what　I　think　of　it；　Dr。　Martineau；　is　this：　it's　fatigue。　It's　mental　and　moral　fatigue。　Too　much　effort。　On　too　high　a　level。　And　too　austere。　One　strains　and　fags。　FLAGS！　'Flags'　I　meant　to　say。　One　strains　and　flags　and　then　the　lower　stuff　in　one；　the　subconscious　stuff；　takes　control。〃　There　was　a　flavour　of　popularized　psychoanalysis　about　this；　and　the　doctor　drew　in　the　corners　of　his　mouth　and　gave　his　head　a　critical　slant。　〃M'm。〃　But　this　only　made　Sir　Richmond　raise　his　voice　and　quicken　his　speech。　〃I　want；〃　he　said；　〃a　good　tonic。　A　pick…me…up；　a　stimulating　harmless　drug　of　some　sort。　That's　indicated　anyhow。　To　begin　with。　Something　to　pull　me　together；　as　people　say。　Bring　me　up　to　the　scratch　again。〃　〃I　don't　like　the　use　of　drugs；〃　said　the　doctor。　The　expectation　of　Sir　Richmond's　expression　changed　to　disappointment。　〃But　that's　not　reasonable；〃　he　cried。　〃That's　not　reasonable。　That's　superstition。　Call　a　thing　a　drug　and　condemn　it！　Everything　is　a　drug。　Everything　that　affects　you。　Food　stimulates　or　tranquillizes。　Drink。　Noise　is　a　stimulant　and　quiet　an　opiate。　What　is　life　but　response　to　stimulants？　Or　reaction　after　them？　When　I'm　exhausted　I