the use and need of the life of carrie a. nation-第4节

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It　would　be　such　d　joy　to　my　father　to　know　that　I　did　this　to　save　his
honor。　When　I　see　him；　in　our　heavenly　home；　he　will　bless　me　for　this。
〃Love　knows　no　sacrifice。〃

I　can　not　call　to　mind　when　the　thought　of　self；　governed　any　of　my
father's　actions。　It　was　his　delight　to　provide　for　the　comfort　of　others。
Devoted　to　his　family　and　friends；　and　such　a　friend　to　the　poor；　I　have
heard　my　mother　say　that　he　made　every　one　rich　who　worked　for　him。
When　I　first　remember　him　he　was　a　〃Trader〃　and　left　his　farm　to　an
overseer。　My　father　drove　hogs　to　Cincinnati　before　there　were　any
railways。　I　was　always　at　his　heels；　when　I　could　be。　He　was　standing
on　the　stile　one　day　giving　directions　to　have　a　drove　of　hogs　meet
him　at　a　certain　place　on　Sunday。　I　said：　〃Pa；　you　will　lose　on　those
hogs。　You　ought　not　to　do　that　on　Sunday。〃　He　gave　me　a　quick；
light；　playful　slap；　saying：　〃Stop　that；　every　time　you　say　that；　I　do
lose。〃

I　can　see　that　a　responsibility　to　God　was　the　fundamental　principle
in　my　father's　life。　After　the　negroes　were　freed；　and　we　lived　on
the　farm；　there　was　so　much　to　do；　especially　for　him；　but　there　was
always　a　conveyance　prepared　to　take　his　family　to　church　and　Sunday
SchoolI　took　the　〃New　York　Ledger。　Mrs。　Southworth　wrote　for　it
then。　'Capitola'；　The　Wrecker's　Son；　with　other　thrilling　stories；　were
so　fascinating　to　meThe　paper　came　late　Saturday　and　I　would　rather
read　it　Sunday　morning　than　go　anywhere。　One　morning　I　took　my
paper　and　went　to　the　back　of　the　orchard；　thinking　to　get　out　of　the
sound　of　my　father's　voice　when　he　would　call　me　to　get　ready　for
church。　I　could　just　hear　him　but　did　not　move。　After　reading　my
paper；　I　returned　to　the　house；　Pa　was　just　coming　back　with　the　rest
of　the　family　from　church。　He　looked　at　me　with　grief　and　anger　in
his　glance　and　said；　〃Never　mind；　you　ungrateful　girl；　you　cannot　say
at　the　judgment　Day；　that　your　father　did　not　provide　a　way　for　you
to　go　to　church。〃　I　never　did　this　again　and　never　was　free　from　remorse
for　this　ingratitude。　I　know　how　Dr。　Johnson　felt　when　he　was
seen　standing　on　a　corner　of　the　street　with　the　sun　beaming　down
upon　his　bare　head；　when　asked　why　he　did　that　he　said；　〃My　father
had　a　book　stand　on　this　corner；　when　I　was　a　boy　once　he　asked　me　to
stand　here　in　his　place　as　he　was　sick。　I　would　not；　now　I　would　expiate
that　by　blistering　my　bare　head　in　the　sun　if　I　could。　To　this　day
I　weep　to　think　of　grieving　so　noble　a　parent。

My　mother　was　a　very　handsome　woman。　My　father　was　what　you
might　call　good　looking。　I　was　very　anxious　to　look　like　him；　used　to
try　to　wear　off　my　teeth　on　the　right　side；　because　his　were　worn　off。
About　two　years　before　he　died；　he　came　to　Texas　to　visit　me。　I　was
then　in　the　hotel　business。　During　the　first　meal　he　ate　at　the　hotel；
he　looked　up　and　seeing　me　waiting　on　the　table；　he　got　up　and　began
waiting　on　the　table　himself。　I　had　to　work　very　hard　then　and　it　was
a　grief　to　him　to　have　no　means　to　give　me。　One　morning　he　came　into
my　room　while　I　was　dressing　and　said：　〃Daughter；　I　have　not　slept
all　night　for　thinking　of　you。　The　last　thing　last　night　was　you　in　the
kitchen　and　the　first　thing　this　morning。　I　have　always　hoped　to　have
something　to　leave　you；　and　it　is　such　a　grief　to　me　that　I　can　not　help
you。　Carry；　it　seems　the　Lord　has　been　so　hard　on　you。〃　I　said：
〃No；　Pa；　I　thank　God　for　all　my　sorrows。　They　have　been　the　best　for
me；　and　don't　you　worry　about　not　leaving　me　money；　for　you　have　left
me　something　far　better。〃　He　looked　up　surprised　and　said：　〃What　is
it？〃　I　answered：　〃The　memory　of　a　father　who　never　did　a　dishonorable
act。〃　My　father's　eyes　filled　with　tears；　and　after　that　he　seemed　to
be　happier　than　I　had　ever　seen　him；　everything　seemed　to　go　right。

My　father　was　a　very　indulgent　master　to　his　colored　servants；　who
loved　him　like　a　father。　They　always　called　him　〃Mars　George。〃　The
negro　women　would　threaten　to　get　〃Mars　George〃　to　whip　their　bad
children；　and　when　he　whipped　them；　I　have　heard　them　say：　〃Served
you　right。　Did　not　give　you　a　lick　amiss。〃　This　was　proving　their
great　confidence；　they　being　willing　for　some　one　else　to　whip　their
children。　They　were　very　sensitive　in　this　matter　and　were　not　willing
for　my　mother　to　do　this。　My　father　would　lay　in　a　supply；　while　in
Cincinnati；　of　boxes　of　boots　and　shoes；　arid　get　combs；　head　handkerchiefs；
and　Sunday　dresses；　which　would　greatly　delight　his　colored　people。
Happy；　indeed；　would　the　negroes　have　been　if　all　their　masters
had　been　as　my　father　was。

When　we　moved　to　Mercer　County　from　Garrard；　we　had　a　sale。
It　was　customary　then　at　such　a　time　to　have　a　barbecue　and　a　great
dinner。　The　tables　were　set　in　the　yard。　I　remember　Mr。　Jones　Adams；
a　neighbor　and　great　friend　of　my　father；　brought　over　a　two　bushel　sack　of
turnip　greens　and　a　ham。　I　remember　seeing　him　shake　them　out　of　the
bag。　At　this　sale　for　the　first；　and　only　time；　I　saw　a　negro　put　on　a
block　and　sold　to　the　highest　bidder。　I　can't　understand　how　my　father
could　have　allowed　this。　His　name　was　〃Big　Bill；〃　to　distinguish　him
from　another　〃Bill〃。　He　was　a　widower　or　a　batchelor　and　had　no
family。　There　was　one　colored　man　my　father　valued　highly；　and
wanted　to　take　with　him；　but　this　man；　Tom；　had　a　wife；　who　belonged
to　a　near　neighbor。　After　we　got　in　the　carriage　to　go　to　our　new　home；
Tom　followed　us　crying：　〃Oh；　Mars　George；　don't　take　me　from　my
wife。〃　My　father　said：　〃Go　and　get　some　one　to　buy　you。〃　This　Tom
did；　the　buyer　being　a　Mr。　Dunn。　Oh！　What　a　sad　sight！　It　makes　the
tears　fill　my　eyes　to　write　it。

But　a　worse　slavery　is　now　on　us。　I　would　rather　have　my　son　sold
to　a　slave…driver　than　to　be　a　victim　of　a　saloon。　I　could；　in　the　first　case；
hope　to　see　him　in　heaven；　but　no　drunkard　can　inherit　eternal　life。　The
people　of　the　south　said　no　power　could　take　from　them　their　slaves；　but
'tis　a　thing　of　the　past。　People　now　say；　you　can't　shut　up　saloons。　But
our　children　will　know　them　as　a　thing　of　the　past。　My　father　was　glad
when　the　slaves　were　free。　He　felt　the　responsibility　of　owning　them。
Have　heard　him　say；　after　having　some…trouble　with　them：　〃Those
negroes　will　send　me　to　hell　yet。〃　He　would　gather　them　in　the　dining…
room　Sunday　evenings　and　read　the　Bible　to　them　and　have　prayer。　He
would　first　call　aunt　Liza　and　ask　her　to　have　them　come　in。　The　negroes
would　sing；　and　it　is　a　sweet　memory　to　me。

｛illust。　caption　=
THIS　IS　A　PICTURE　OF　MYSELF　AND　SISTER　EDNA；　SITTING　ON　EACH　SIDE　OF　OUR
MOTHER。I　AM　ON　THE　LEFT　AND　WAS　ABOUT　SIX　YEARS　OLD。｝



CHAPTER　II。

MY　EXPERIENCE　WITH　THE　NEGROES　AS　SLAVES。THEIR　SUPERSTITIONS。
A　BEAUTIFUL　FAIRY　TALE。

The　colored　race；　as　I　knew　them；　were　generally　kind　to　the　white
children　of　their　masters。　Their　sympathy　was　great　in　childish　troubles。
They　were　our　nurses　around　our　sick　beds。　Their　lullabyes　soothed　us
to　sleep。　Very　frequently　my　nurse　would　hold　me　in　her　arms　until
both　of　us　would　fall　asleep；　but　she　would　still　hold　me　secure。　When
any　of　my　misdoings　came　to　the　ears　of　my　parents；　and　I　was　punished
their　testimony　would；　as　far　as　possible；　shield　me；　and　not　until　I　would
try　their　patience　out　of　all　bounds　would　they　tell　my　mother　on　me。　I
never　heard　an　infidel　negro　express　his　views；　even　if　very　wicked。
They　had　firm　belief　in　God　and　a　devil。　I　always　liked　their　meetings；
their　songs　and　shoutings。　They　always　told　me　that　no　one　could　help
shouting。　The　first　time　I　ever　heard　a　white　woman　shout　was　in　Northern
Texas；　during　the　war。　I　did　not　wish　the　spirit　to　cause　me　to
jump　up　and　clap　my　hands　that　way；　for　these　impulses　were　not　in　my
carnal　heart；　so；　for　fear　I　should　be　compelled　to　do　so；　I　held　my　dress
down　tight　to　the　seat　on　each　side；　to　prevent　such　action。　The　negroes
are　great　readers　of　character；　despise　stingy　people　or　those　who　were
afraid　of　them。　These　colored　friends　taught　me　the　fear　of　God。　The
first　time　I　ever　attended　church；　I　rode　behind　on　horseback；　and
sat　with　them　in　the　gallery。　I　imbibed　some　of　their　superstitions。
They　consider　it　bad　to　allow　a　sharp　tool；　as　a　spade；　hoe　or　ax；　to　be
taken　through　the　house；　to　throw　salt　in　the　fire；　for　you　would　have　to
pick　it　out　after　death。　They　would　kill　a　hen　if　she　crowed；　looked　for
a　death；　if　a　dog　howled；　or；　if　one　broke　a　looking…glass；　it　meant
trouble　of　some　kind　for　seven　years。　They　believed　that　persons　had
power　to　put　a　〃spell〃　on　others；　would；　if　taken　sick；　frequently　speak　of
having　〃stepped　on　something〃　put　in　their　way　or　buried　in　their　dooryard。

There　is　no　dialect　in　the　world　that　has　the　original　characteristics　so
pleasing　to　the　ear　as　the　negro。　There　is　a　softness　and　music　in　the
voice　of　a　negro　not　to　be　found　in　any　other　race　on　earth。　No　one　can
sing　a　child　to　sleep　so　soothingly　as　a　negro　nurse。　After　I　left　Texas
and　went　to　Medicine　Lodge；　Kansas；　when　I　had　a　headache　or　was
otherwise　sick；　I　would　wish　for　the　attendance　around　my　bed　of　one　of
the　old…fashioned　colored　women；　who　would　rub　me　with　their　rough
plump　hands　and　call　me　〃Honey　Chile；〃　would　bathe