remember the alamo-第43节

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in　the　hands　of　an　all…wise　God；　and　I　rely　confidently　in　his
Providence。
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　〃SAM　HOUSTON。〃＇5＇



＇5＇　Copy　from　Department　of　War　of　the　Republic　of　Texas。



The　women　and　children；　under　a　competent　guide；　continued
their　march　eastward。　　But　they　were　worn　out。　　Many　were
unable　to　put　their　feet　to　the　ground。　　The　wagons　were
crowded　with　these　helpless　ones。　　The　Senora　had　so　far
recovered　as　to　understand　that　within　a　few　hours　Santa　Anna
and　the　Americans　must　meet。　　And；　mentally　led　by　Isabel's
passionate　hatred；　she　now　showed　a　vindictiveness　beyond　that
of　any　other　woman。

She　spent　hours　upon　her　knees；　imploring　the　saints；　and　the
stars；　and　the　angel　Michael；　to　fight　against　Santa
Anna。　　To　Isabel　she　whispered；　〃I　have　even　informed　the　evil
one　where　he　may　be　found。　　The　wretch　who　ordered　such
infamies！　　He　poisons　the　air　of　the　whole　world　as　he　goes
through　it。　　I　shall　never　be　happy　till　I　know　that　he　is　in
purgatory。　　He　will　be　hated　even　thereand　in　a　worse　place；
too。　　Yes；　it　is　pleasant　to　think　of　that！　　There　will　be
many　accusers　of　him　there。　　I　shall　comfort　myself　with
imagining　his　punishment。　　Isabel；　do　you　believe　with　your
heart　that　Senor　Houston　and　the　Americans　will　be　strong
enough　to　kill　him？〃

〃Mi　madre；　I　know　it。〃

〃Then　do　be　a　little　delighted。　　How　can　you　bear　things　with
such　a　provoking　indifference？　　But　as　Luis　is　safe〃

〃Chito！　　Chito！　　Do　not　be　cruel；　mi　madre。　　I　would　stab
Santa　Anna　with　my　own　handsvery　slowly；　I　would　stab　him。　
It　would　be　so　sweet。　　The　Sisters　told　me　of　a　woman　in　the
Holy　Book；　who　smiled　upon　the　one　she　hated；　and　gave　him
milk　and　butter；　and　when　he　slept；　drove　a　great　nail　through
his　temples。　　I　know　how　she　felt。　　What　a　feast　it　would　be；
to　strike；　and　strike；　and　strike！　　I　could　drive　ten；
twenty；　fifty　nails；　into　Santa　Anna；　when　I　think　of　Juan。〃

No　one　had　before　dared　to　breathe　her　boy's　name　in　her
hearing。　　She　herself　had　never　spoken　it。　　It　fell　upon　the
ears　of　both　women　like　a　strain　of　forgotten　music。　　They
looked　at　each　other　with　eyes　that　stirred　memory　and　love　to
their　sweetest　depths。　　Almost　in　whispers　they　began　to　talk
of　the　dead　boy；　to　recall　how　lovable；　how　charming；　how
affectionate；　how　obedient　he　had　been。　　Then　the　Senora　broke
open　the　seals　of　her　sorrow；　and；　with　bitter　reproaches　on
herself；　confessed　that　the　kiss　she　had　denied　her　Juan　was
a　load　of　anguish　upon　her　heart　that　she　could　not　bear。

〃If　I　had　only　blessed　him；〃　she　moaned；　〃I　had　saved　him　from
his　misfortune。　　A　mother's　blessing　is　such　a　holy　thing！　
And　he　knelt　at　my　knees；　and　begged　it。　　I　can　see　his　eyes
in　the　darkness；　when　my　eyes　are　shut。　　I　can　hear　his　voice
when　I　am　asleep。　　Isabel；　I　shall　never　be　happy　till　I　see
Juan　again；　and　say　to　him；　‘Forgive　me；　dear　one；　forgive　me；
for　I　have　suffered。'〃

Both　were　weeping；　but　Isabel　said；　bravely：　　〃I　am　sure
that　Juan　does　not　blame　you　now；　mi　madre。　　In　the　other
world　one　understands　better。　　And　remember；　also；　the　letter
which　he　wrote　you。　　His　last　thought　was　yours。　　He　fell　with
your　name　on　his　lips。　　These　things　are　certain。　　And　was　it
not　good　of　Dare　to　die　with　him？　　A　friend　like　that！　　Out　of
the　tale…books　who　ever　hears　of　such　a　thing？　　Antonia　has
wept　much。　　In　the　nights；　when　she　thinks　I　am　asleep；　I　hear
her。　　Have　you　seen　that　she　has　grown　white　and　thin？　　I
think　that　my　father　is　very　unhappy　about　her。〃

〃In　an　hour　of　mercy　may　the　merciful　One　remember　Dare　Grant！　
I　will　pray　for　his　peace　as　long　as　I　live。　　If　he　had　left
Juanif　he　had　come　back　aloneI　think　indeed　I　should　have
hated　him。〃

〃That　was　also　the　opinion　of　Antoniashe　would　never　have
loved　him　the　same。　　I　am　sure　she　would　not　have　married
him。〃

〃My　good　Antonia！　　Go　bring　her　to　me；　Isabel。　　I　want　to
comfort　her。　　She　has　been　so　patient　with　me。　　I　have　felt
itfelt　it　every　minute；　and　I　have　been　stupid　and　selfish；
and　have　forgotten　that　she　too　was　suffering。〃

The　next　day　it　was　found　impossible　to　move。　　The　majority　of
the　women　had　husbands　with　the　army。　　They　had　left　their
wives；　to　secure　everlasting　freedom　for　their　children；　but；
even　if　Houston　was　victorious；　they　might　be　wounded　and　need
their　help。　　To　be　near　them　in　any　case　was　the　one　thing
about　which　they　were　positive。

〃We　will　not　move　another　inch；〃　said　a　brave　little
Massachusetts　woman；　who　had　been　the　natural　leader　of　this
domestic　Exodus；　〃we　will　rest　ourselves　a　little　here；　and　if
the　Mexicans　want　some　extraordinary　fighting　they　can　have
it；　especially；　if　they　come　meddling　with　us　or　our　children。　
My　husband　told　me　just　to　get　out　of　reach　of　shot　and　shell
and　wait　there　till　we　heard　of　the　victory；　and　I　am　for
doing　THAT；　and　no　other　thing。〃

Nearly　two　hundred　women；　bent　upon　their　own　way；　are　not　to
be　taken　any　other　way；　and　the　few　old　men　who　had　been　sent
to　guide　the　party；　and　shoot　what　game　was　necessary　for
their　support；　surrendered　at　once　to　this　feminine　mutiny。　
Besides；　the　condition　of　the　boys　and　girls　between　seven　and
fourteen　was　really　a　deplorable　one。　　They　were　too　old
to　be　cared　for　as　infants；　and　they　had　been　obliged；　with
the　strength　of　children；　to　accomplish　the　labor　of　men　and
women。　　Many　were　crippled　in　their　feet；　others　were
continually　on　the　point　of　swooning。

It　was　now　the　20th　of　April。　　The　Senora　and　her　daughters
had　been　six　weeks　with　the　American　army；　exposed　to　all　the
privations　which　such　a　life　entailed。　　But　the　most　obvious
of　these　privations　were；　perhaps；　those　which　were　most
easily　borne。　　Women　endure　great　calamities　better　than　the
little　annoyances　affecting　those　wants　which　are　part　and
parcel　of　their　sex　or　their　caste。　　It　was　not　the
necessaries　so　much　as　the　luxuries　of　life　which　the　Senora
missedthe　changes　of　raimentthe　privacythe　quietthe
regularity　of　events。

During　the　whole　of　the　20th；　there　was　almost　a　Sabbath
stillness。　　It　was　a　warm；　balmy　day。　　The　wearied　children
were　under　the　wagons　and　under　the　trees；　sleeping　the　dead
sleep　of　extreme　exhaustion。　　The　mothers；　wherever　it　was
possible；　slept　also。　　The　guides　were　a　little　apart；
listening　and　smoking。　　If　they　spoke；　it　was　only　in
monosyllables。　　Rest　was　so　much　more　needed　than　food　that
little　or　no　attempt　was　made　to　cook　until　near　sundown。

At　dawn　next　morningnay；　a　little　before　dawnwhen　all　was
chill；　and　gray；　and　misty；　and　there　was　not　a　sound　but　the
wailing　of　a　sick　child；　the　Senora　touched　her　daughters。　
Her　voice　was　strange　to　them；　her　face　solemnly　happy。

〃Antonio！　　Isabel！　I　HAVE　SEEN　JUAN！　　I　HAVE　SEEN　JUAN！　　My
eyes　were　shut；　but　I　have　seen　him。　　He　was　a　beautiful
shadow；　with　a　great；　shadowy　host　around　him。　　He　bent　on　me
such　eyes！　　Holy　Mother！　their　love　was　unfathomable；　and　I
heard　his　voice。　　It　was　far　off；　yet　near。　　‘Madre！'　he　said；
‘TOMORROW　YOU　SHALL　HEAR　FROM　US。'　　Now　I　am　happy。　　There
are　words　in　my　heart；　but　I　cannot　explain　them　to　you。　　I
know　what　they　mean。　　I　will　weep　no　more。　　They　put　my　Juan's
body　in　the　grave；　but　they　have　not　buried　HIM。〃

All　day　she　was　silent　and　full　of　thought；　but　her　face　was
smiling　and　hopeful；　and　she　had　the　air　of　one　waiting　for
some　assured　happiness。　　About　three　o'clock　in　the
afternoon　she　stood　up　quickly　and　cried；　〃Hark！　the　battle
has　begun！〃　　Every　one　listened　intently；　and　after　a　short
pause　the　oldest　of　the　guides　nodded。　　〃I'd　give　the　rest　of
my　life　to　be　young　again；〃　he　said；　〃just　for　three　hours　to
be　young；　and　behind　Houston！〃

〃TO…MORROW　WE　SHALL　HEAR。〃

The　words　fell　from　the　Senora's　lips　with　a　singular
significance。　　Her　face　and　voice　were　the　face　and　voice　of
some　glad　diviner；　triumphantly　carrying　her　own　augury。　
Under　a　little　grove　of　trees　she　walked　until　sunset；　passing
the　beads　of　her　rosary　through　her　fingers；　and　mechanically
whispering　the　prayers　appointed。　　The　act　undoubtedly　quieted
her；　but　Antonia　knew　that　she　lay　awake　all　night；　praying
for　the　living　or　the　dead。

About　ten　o'clock　of　the　morning　of　the　22d；　a　horseman　was
seen　coming　toward　the　camp　at　full　speed。　　Women　and　children
stood　breathlessly　waiting　his　approach。　　No　one　could　speak。　
If　a　child　moved；　the　movement　was　angrily　reproved。　　The
tension　was　too　great　to　admit　of　a　touch　through　any
sense。　　Some；　unable　to　bear　the　extended　strain；　sank　upon
the　ground　and　covered　their　faces　with　their　hands。　　But　the
half…grown　children；　wan　with　privations　and　fever；　ragged　and
barefoot；　watched　steadily　the　horse　and　its　rider；　their
round；　gleaming　eyes　full　of　wonder　and　fear。

〃It　is　Thomas；〃　said　the　Senora。

As　he　came　near；　and　the　beat　of　the　horse's　hoofs　could　be
heard；　a　cry　almost　inarticulate；　not　to　be　described；　shrill
and　agonizing　in　its　intensity；　broke　simultaneously　from　the
anxious　women。　　It　was　one　cry　from　many　hearts；　all　at　the
last　point　of　endurance。　　Thomas　Worth　understood　it。　　He
flung　his　hat　up；　and　answered　with　a　joyful　〃Hurrah！〃