to have and to hold-第62节
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He looked at the floor； and they one and all held their peace。
〃Madam；〃 I said to Lady Wyatt； 〃I have been watching your ladyship's face。 Will you tell me why it is so very full of pity； and why there are tears in your eyes？〃
She shrank back in her chair with a little cry； and Rolfe stepped toward me； then turned sharply aside。 〃I cannot！〃 he cried； 〃 I that know〃 …
I drew myself up to meet the blow； whatever it might be。 〃I demand of you my wife； Sir Francis Wyatt；〃 I said。 〃If there is ill news to be told； be so good as to tell it quickly。 If she is sick； or hath been sent away to England〃 …
The Governor made as if to speak； then turned and flung out his hands to his wife。 〃 'T is woman's work； Margaret！〃 he cried。 〃Tell him！〃
More merciful than the men； she came to me at once； the tears running down her cheeks； and laid one trembling hand upon my arm。 〃She was a brave lady； Captain Percy；〃 she said。 〃Bear it as she would have had you bear it。〃
〃I am bearing it； madam；〃 I answered at length。 〃 'She was a brave lady。' May it please your ladyship to go on？〃
〃I will tell you all； Captain Percy； I will tell you everything。 。 。 。 She never believed you dead； and she begged upon her knees that we would allow her to go in search of you with Master Rolfe。 That could not be； my husband； in duty to the Company； could not let her have her will。 Master Rolfe went； and she sat in the window； yonder； day after day； watching for his return。 When other parties went out； she besought the men； as they had wives whom they loved； to search as though those loved ones were in captivity and danger； when they grew weary and fainthearted； to think of her face waiting in the window。 。 。 。 Day after day she sat there watching for them to come back； when they were come； then she watched the river for Master Rolfe's boats。 Then came word down the river that he had found no trace of you whom he sought； that he was on his way back to Jamestown； that he too believed you dead。 。 。 。 We put a watch upon her after that； for we feared we knew not what； there was such a light and purpose in her eyes。 But two nights ago； in the middle of the night； the woman who stayed in her chamber fell asleep。 When she awoke before the dawn； it was to find her gone。〃
〃To find her gone？〃 I said dully。 〃To find her dead？〃
She locked her hands together and the tears came faster。 〃Oh； Captain Percy； it had been better so！ … it had been better so！ Then would she have lain to greet you； calm and white； unmarred and beautiful； with the spring flowers upon her。 。 。 。 She believed not that you were dead； she was distraught with grief and watching； she thought that love might find what friendship missed； she went to the forest to seek you。 They that were sent to find and bring her back have never returned〃 …
〃Into the forest！〃 I cried。 〃Jocelyn； Jocelyn； Jocelyn； come back！〃
Some one pushed me into a chair； and I felt the warmth of wine within my lips。 In the moment that the world steadied I rose and went toward the door to find my way barred by Rolfe。
〃Not you； too； Ralph！〃 he cried。 〃I will not let you go。 Look for yourself！〃
He drew me to the window； Master Sandys gravely making place for us。 From the window was visible the neck of land and the forest beyond； and from the forest； up and down the river as far as the eye could reach； rose here and there thin columns of smoke。 Suddenly； as we stared； three or four white smoke puffs； like giant flowers； started out of the shadowy woods across the neck。 Following the crack of the muskets … fired out of pure bravado by their Indian owners … came the yelling of the savages。 The sound was prolonged and deep； as though issuing from many throats。
I looked and listened； and knew that I could not go； … not now。
〃She was not alone； Ralph；〃 said Rolfe； with his arm about me。 〃On the morning that she was missed； they found not Jeremy Sparrow either。 They tracked them both to the forest by the footprints upon the sand； though once in the wood the trail was lost。 The minister must have been watching； must have seen her leave the house； and must have followed her。 How she； and he after her； passed through the gates； none know。 So careless and confident had we grown … God forgive us！ … that they may have been left open all that night。 But he was with her； Ralph； she had not to face it alone〃 … His voice broke。
For myself； I was glad that the minister had been there； though I knew that for him also I should grieve after a while。
At the firing and the shouting West had rushed from the room； followed by his fellow Councilors； and now the Governor clapped on his headpiece and called to his men to bring his back…and…breast。 His wife hung around his neck； and he bade her good…by with great tenderness。 I looked dully on at that parting。 I too was going to battle。 Once I had tasted such a farewell； the pain； the passion； the sweetness； but never again； … never again。
He went； and the Treasurer； after a few words of comfort to Lady Wyatt； was gone also。 Both were merciful； and spoke not to me； but only bowed and turned aside； requiring no answering word or motion of mine。 When they were away； and there was no sound in the room save the caged bird's singing and Lady Wyatt's low sobs； I begged Rolfe to leave me； telling him that he was needed； as indeed he was； and that I would stay in the window for a while； and then would join him at the palisade。 He was loath to go； but he too had loved and lost； and knew that there is nothing to be said； and that it is best to be alone。 He went； and only Lady Wyatt and I kept the quiet room with the singing bird and the sunshine on the floor。
I leaned against the window and looked out into the street； … which was not crowded now； for the men were all at their several posts； … and at the budding trees； and at the smoke of many fires going up from the forest to the sky； from a world of hate and pain and woe to the heaven where she dwelt； and then I turned and went to the table； where had been set bread and meat and wine。
At the sound of my footstep Lady Wyatt uncovered her face。 〃Is there aught that I can do for you； sir？〃 she asked timidly。
〃I have not broken my fast for many hours； madam；〃 I answered。 〃I would eat and drink； that I may not be found wanting in strength。 There is a thing that I have yet to do。〃
Rising from her chair； she brushed away her tears； and coming to the table with a little housewifely eagerness would not let me wait upon myself； but carved and poured for me； and then sat down opposite me and covered her eyes with her hand。
〃I think that the Governor is quite safe； madam；〃 I said。 〃I do not believe that the Indians will take the palisade。 It may even be that； knowing we are prepared； they will not attack at all。 Indeed； I think that you may be easy about him。〃
She thanked me with a smile。 〃It is all so strange and dreadful to me； sir；〃 she said。 〃At my home； in England； it was like a Sunday morning all the year round； … all stillness and peace； no terror； no alarm。 I fear that I am not yet a good Virginian。〃
When I had eaten； and had drunk the wine she gave me； I rose； and asked her if I might not see her safe within the fort before I joined her husband at the palisade。 She shook her head； and told me that there were with her faithful servants； and that if the savages broke in upon the town she would have warning in time to flee； the fort being so close at hand。 When I thereupon begged her leave to depart； she first curtsied to me； and then； again with tears； came to me and took my hand in hers。 〃I know that there is naught that I can say。 。 。 。 Your wife loved you； sir； with all her heart。〃 She drew something from the bosom of her gown。 〃Would you like this？ It is a knot of ribbon that she wore。 They found it caught in a bush at the edge of the forest。〃
I took the ribbon from her and put it to my lips； then unknotted it and tied it around my arm； and then； wearing my wife's colors； I went softly out into the street； and turned my face toward the guest house and the man whom I meant to kill。
CHAPTER XXXVII IN WHICH MY LORD AND I PART COMPANY
THE door of the guest house stood wide； and within the lower room were neither men that drank nor men that gave to drink。 Host and drawers and chance guests alike had left pipe and tankard for sword and musket； and were gone to fort or palisade or river bank。
I crossed the empty room and went up the creaking stairway。 No one met me or withstood me； only a pigeon perched upon the sill of a sunny window whirred off into the blue。 I glanced out of the window as I passed it； and saw the silver river and the George and the Esperance； with the gunners at the guns watching for Indian canoes； and saw smoke rising from the forest on the southern shore。 There had been three houses there； … John West's and Minifie's and Crashaw's。 I wondered if mine were burning； too； at Weyanoke； and cared not if 't was so。
The door of the upper room was shut。 When I raised the latch and pushed against it； it gave at the top and middle； but there was some pressure from within at the bottom。 I pushed again； more strongly； and the door slowly opened； moving away whatever thing had lain before it。 Another m
