selected writings-第31节

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traversing　of　the　desert；　and　those；　on　the　contrary；　whom　others

weary；　tire；　bore；　silently　torture；　whom　isolation　calms　and

bathes　in　the　repose　of　independency；　and　plunges　into　the　humors

of　their　own　thoughts。　In　fine；　there　is　here　a　normal；　physical

phenomenon。　Some　are　constituted　to　live　a　life　outside　of

themselves；　others；　to　live　a　life　within　themselves。　As　for　me；

my　exterior　associations　are　abruptly　and　painfully　short…lived；

and；　as　they　reach　their　limits；　I　experience　in　my　whole　body

and　in　my　whole　intelligence　an　intolerable　uneasiness。



As　a　result　of　this；　I　became　attached；　or　rather　had　become　much

attached；　to　inanimate　objects；　which　have　for　me　the　importance

of　beings；　and　my　house　has　or　had　become　a　world　in　which　I

lived　an　active　and　solitary　life；　surrounded　by　all　manner　of

things；　furniture；　familiar　knickknacks；　as　sympathetic　in　my

eyes　as　the　visages　of　human　beings。　I　had　filled　my　mansion　with

them；　little　by　little；　I　had　adorned　it　with　them；　and　I　felt　an

inward　content　and　satisfaction；　was　more　happy　than　if　I　had

been　in　the　arms　of　a　beloved　girl；　whose　wonted　caresses　had

become　a　soothing　and　delightful　necessity。



I　had　had　this　house　constructed　in　the　center　of　a　beautiful

garden；　which　hid　it　from　the　public　high…ways；　and　which　was

near　the　entrance　to　a　city　where　I　could　find；　on　occasion；　the

resources　of　society；　for　which；　at　moments；　I　had　a　longing。　All

my　domestics　slept　in　a　separate　building；　which　was　situated　at

some　considerable　distance　from　my　house；　at　the　far　end　of　the

kitchen　garden；　which　in　turn　was　surrounded　by　a　high　wall。　The

obscure　envelopment　of　night；　in　the　silence　of　my　concealed

habitation；　buried　under　the　leaves　of　great　trees；　was　so

reposeful　and　so　delicious；　that　before　retiring　to　my　couch　I

lingered　every　evening　for　several　hours　in　order　to　enjoy　the

solitude　a　little　longer。



One　day　〃Signad〃　had　been　played　at　one　of　the　city　theaters。　It

was　the　first　time　that　I　had　listened　to　that　beautiful；

musical；　and　fairy…like　drama；　and　I　had　derived　from　it　the

liveliest　pleasures。



I　returned　home　on　foot　with　a　light　step；　my　head　full　of

sonorous　phrases；　and　my　mind　haunted　by　delightful　visions。　It

was　night；　the　dead　of　night；　and　so　dark　that　I　could　hardly

distinguish　the　broad　highway；　and　consequently　I　stumbled　into

the　ditch　more　than　once。　From　the　custom…house；　at　the　barriers；

to　my　house；　was　about　a　mile；　perhaps　a　little　morea　leisurely

walk　of　about　twenty　minutes。　It　was　one　o'clock　in　the　morning；

one　o'clock　or　maybe　half…past　one；　the　sky　had　by　this　time

cleared　somewhat　and　the　crescent　appeared；　the　gloomy　crescent

of　the　last　quarter　of　the　moon。　The　crescent　of　the　first

quarter　is　that　which　rises　about　five　or　six　o'clock　in　the

evening　and　is　clear；　gay；　and　fretted　with　silver；　but　the　one

which　rises　after　midnight　is　reddish；　sad；　and　desolatingit　is

the　true　Sabbath　crescent。　Every　prowler　by　night　has　made　the　same

observation。　The　first；　though　slender　as　a　thread；　throws　a　faint；

joyous　light　which　rejoices　the　heart　and　lines　the　ground　with

distinct　shadows；　the　last　sheds　hardly　a　dying　glimmer；　and　is　so

wan　that　it　occasions　hardly　any　shadows。



In　the　distance；　I　perceived　the　somber　mass　of　my　garden；　and；　I

know　not　why；　was　seized　with　a　feeling　of　uneasiness　at　the　idea

of　going　inside。　I　slackened　my　pace；　and　walked　very　softly；　the

thick　cluster　of　trees　having　the　appearance　of　a　tomb　in　which

my　house　was　buried。



I　opened　my　outer　gate　and　entered　the　long　avenue　of　sycamores

which　ran　in　the　direction　of　the　house；　arranged　vault…wise　like

a　high　tunnel；　traversing　opaque　masses；　and　winding　round　the

turf　lawns；　on　which　baskets　of　flowers；　in　the　pale　darkness；

could　be　indistinctly　discerned。



While　approaching　the　house；　I　was　seized　by　a　strange　feeling。　I

could　hear　nothing；　I　stood　still。　Through　the　trees　there　was

not　even　a　breath　of　air　stirring。　〃What　is　the　matter　with　me？〃

I　said　to　myself。　For　ten　years　I　had　entered　and　re…entered　in

the　same　way；　without　ever　experiencing　the　least　inquietude。　I

never　had　any　fear　at　nights。　The　sight　of　a　man；　a　marauder；　or

a　thief　would　have　thrown　me　into　a　fit　of　anger；　and　I　would

have　rushed　at　him　without　any　hesitation。　Moreover；　I　was

armedI　had　my　revolver。　But　I　did　not　touch　it；　for　I　was

anxious　to　resist　that　feeling　of　dread　with　which　I　was　seized。



What　was　it？　Was　it　a　presentimentthat　mysterious　presentiment

which　takes　hold　of　the　senses　of　men　who　have　witnessed

something　which；　to　them；　is　inexplicable？　Perhaps？　Who　knows？



In　proportion　as　I　advanced；　I　felt　my　skin　quiver　more　and　more；

and　when　I　was　close　to　the　wall；　near　the　outhouses　of　my　large

residence；　I　felt　that　it　would　be　necessary　for　me　to　wait　a　few

minutes　before　opening　the　door　and　going　inside。　I　sat　down；

then；　on　a　bench；　under　the　windows　of　my　drawing…room。　I　rested

there；　a　little　disturbed；　with　my　head　leaning　against　the　wall；

my　eyes　wide　open；　under　the　shade　of　the　foliage。　For　the　first

few　minutes；　I　did　not　observe　anything　unusual　around　me；　I　had

a　humming　noise　in　my　ears；　but　that　has　happened　often　to　me。

Sometimes　it　seemed　to　me　that　I　heard　trains　passing；　that　I

heard　clocks　striking；　that　I　heard　a　multitude　on　the　march。



Very　soon；　those　humming　noises　became　more　distinct；　more

concentrated；　more　determinable；　I　was　deceiving　myself。　It　was

not　the　ordinary　tingling　of　my　arteries　which　transmitted　to　my

ears　these　rumbling　sounds；　but　it　was　a　very　distinct；　though

confused；　noise　which　came；　without　any　doubt　whatever；　from　the

interior　of　my　house。　Through　the　walls　I　distinguished　this

continued　noise；I　should　rather　say　agitation　than　noise；an

indistinct　moving　about　of　a　pile　of　things；　as　if　people　were

tossing　about；　displacing；　and　carrying　away　surreptitiously　all

my　furniture。



I　doubted；　however；　for　some　considerable　time　yet；　the　evidence

of　my　ears。　But　having　placed　my　ear　against　one　of　the

outhouses；　the　better　to　discover　what　this　strange　disturbance

was；　inside　my　house；　I　became　convinced；　certain；　that　something

was　taking　place　in　my　residence　which　was　altogether　abnormal

and　incomprehensible。　I　had　no　fear；　but　I　washow　shall　I

express　itparalyzed　by　astonishment。　I　did　not　draw　my

revolver；　knowing　very　well　that　there　was　no　need　of　my　doing

so。



I　listened　a　long　time；　but　could　come　to　no　resolution；　my　mind

being　quite　clear；　though　in　myself　I　was　naturally　anxious。　I

got　up　and　waited；　listening　always　to　the　noise；　which　gradually

increased；　and　at　intervals　grew　very　loud；　and　which　seemed　to

become　an　impatient；　angry　disturbance；　a　mysterious　commotion。



Then；　suddenly；　ashamed　of　my　timidity；　I　seized　my　bunch　of

keys。　I　selected　the　one　I　wanted；　guided　it　into　the　lock；

turned　it　twice；　and　pushing　the　door　with　all　my　might；　sent　it

banging　against　the　partition。



The　collision　sounded　like　the　report　of　a　gun；　and　there

responded　to　that　explosive　noise；　from　roof　to　basement　of　my

residence；　a　formidable　tumult。　It　was　so　sudden；　so　terrible；　so

deafening；　that　I　recoiled　a　few　steps；　and　though　I　knew　it　to

be　wholly　useless；　I　pulled　my　revolver　out　of　its　case。



I　continued　to　listen　for　some　time　longer。　I　could　distinguish

now　an　extraordinary　pattering　upon　the　steps　of　my　grand

staircase；　on　the　waxed　floors；　on　the　carpets；　not　of　boots；　or

of　naked　feet；　but　of　iron　and　wooden　crutches；　which　resounded

like　cymbals。　Then　I　suddenly　discerned；　on　the　threshold　of　my

door；　an　armchair；　my　large　reading　easy…chair；　which　set　off

waddling。　It　went　away　through　my　garden。　Others　followed　it；

those　of　my　drawing…room；　then　my　sofas；　dragging　themselves

along　like　crocodiles　on　their　short　paws；　then　all　my　chairs；

bounding　like　goats；　and　the　little　foot…stools；　hopping　like

rabbits。



Oh！　what　a　sensation！　I　slunk　back　into　a　clump　of　bushes　where　I

remained　crouched　up；　watching；　meanwhile；　my　furniture　defile

pastfor　everything　walked　away；　the　one　behind　the　other；

briskly　or　slowly；　according　to　its　weight　or　size。　My　piano；　my

grand　piano；　bounded　past　with　the　gallop　of　a　horse　and　a　murmur

of　music　in　its　sides；　the　smaller　articles　slid　along　the　gravel

like　snails；　my　brushes；　crystal；　cups　and　saucers；　which

glistened　in　the　moonlight。　I　saw　my　writing　desk　appear；　a　rare

curiosity　of　the　last　century；　which　contained　all　the　letters　I

had　ever　received；　all　the　history　of　my　heart；　an　old　history

from　which　I　have　suffered　so　much！　Besides；　there　were　inside　of

it　a　great　many　cherished　photographs。



SuddenlyI　no　longer　had　any　fearI　threw　myself　on　it；　seized

it　as　one　would　seize　a　thief；　as　one　would　seize　a　wife　about　to

run　away；　but　it　pursued　its　irresistible　course；　and　despite