the ragged trousered philanthropists-第146节

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lap　…　she　had　sobbed　out　her　pitiful　confession；　the　same　things　that　she　had　unwittingly　told　to　the　same　hearer　so　often　before　during　the　illness；　the　only　fact　that　was　new　was　the　account　of　her　wanderings　that　night。

She　cried　so　bitterly　and　looked　so　forlorn　and　heartbroken　and　ashamed　as　she　faltered　out　her　woeful　story；　so　consumed　with　self…condemnation；　making　no　excuse　for　herself　except　to　repeat　over　and　over　again　that　she　had　never　meant　to　do　wrong；　that　Nora　could　not　refrain　from　weeping　also　as　she　listened。

It　appeared　that；　unable　to　bear　the　reproach　that　Easton's　presence　seemed　to　imply；　or　to　endure　the　burden　of　her　secret　any　longer；　and　always　haunted　by　the　thought　of　the　lake　in　the　park；　Ruth　had　formed　the　dreadful　resolution　of　taking　her　own　life　and　the　child's。　　When　she　arrived　at　the　park　gates　they　were　closed　and　locked　for　the　night　but　she　remembered　that　there　was　another　means　of　entering　…　the　place　at　the　far　end　of　the　valley　where　the　park　was　not　fenced　in；　so　she　had　gone　there　…　nearly　three　miles　…　only　to　find　that　railings　had　recently　been　erected　and　therefore　it　was　no　longer　possible　to　get　into　the　park　by　that　way。　　And　then；　when　she　found　it　impossible　to　put　her　resolve　into　practice；　she　had　realized　for　the　first　time　the　folly　and　wickedness　of　the　act　she　had　meant　to　commit。　　But　although　she　had　abandoned　her　first　intention；　she　said　she　could　never　go　home　again；　she　would　take　a　room　somewhere　and　get　some　work　to　do；　or　perhaps　she　might　be　able　to　get　a　situation　where　they　would　allow　her　to　have　the　child　with　her；　or　failing　that　she　would　work　and　pay　someone　to　look　after　it；　but　she　could　never　go　home　any　more。　　If　she　only　had　somewhere　to　stay　for　a　few　days　until　she　could　get　something　to　do；　she　was　sure　she　would　be　able　to　earn　her　living；　but　she　could　not　go　back　home；　she　felt　that　she　would　rather　walk　about　the　streets　all　night　than　go　there　again。

It　was　arranged　that　Ruth　should　have　the　small　apartment　which　had　been　Frankie's　playroom；　the　necessary　furniture　being　obtained　from　a　second…hand　shop　close　by。　　Easton　did　not　learn　the　real　reason　of　her　flight　until　three　days　afterwards。　　At　first　he　attributed　it　to　a　recurrence　of　the　mental　disorder　that　she　had　suffered　from　after　the　birth　of　the　child；　and　he　had　been　glad　to　leave　her　at　Owen's　place　in　Nora's　care；　but　on　the　evening　of　the　third　day　when　he　returned　home　from　work；　he　found　a　letter　in　Ruth's　handwriting　which　told　him　all　there　was　to　tell。

When　he　recovered　from　the　stupefaction　into　which　he　was　thrown　by　the　perusal　of　this　letter；　his　first　thought　was　to　seek　out　Slyme；　but　he　found　upon　inquiring　that　the　latter　had　left　the　town　the　previous　morning。　　Slyme's　landlady　said　he　had　told　her　that　he　had　been　offered　several　months'　work　in　London；　which　he　had　accepted。　The　truth　was　that　Slyme　had　heard　of　Ruth's　flight　…　nearly　everyone　knew　about　it　as　a　result　of　the　inquiries　that　had　been　made　for　her　…　and；　guessing　the　cause；　he　had　prudently　cleared　out。

Easton　made　no　attempt　to　see　Ruth；　but　he　went　to　Owen's　and　took　Freddie　away；　saying　he　would　pay　Mrs　Linden　to　look　after　the　child　whilst　he　was　at　work。　　His　manner　was　that　of　a　deeply　injured　man　…　the　possibility　that　he　was　in　any　way　to　blame　for　what　had　happened　did　not　seem　to　occur　to　his　mind　at　all。

As　for　Ruth　she　made　no　resistance　to　his　taking　the　child　away　from　her；　although　she　cried　about　it　in　secret。　　She　got　some　work　a　few　days　afterwards　…　helping　the　servants　at　one　of　the　large　boarding…　houses　on　the　Grand　Parade。

Nora　looked　after　the　baby　for　her　while　she　was　at　work；　an　arrangement　that　pleased　Frankie　vastly；　he　said　it　was　almost　as　good　as　having　a　baby　of　their　very　own。

For　the　first　few　weeks　after　Ruth　went　away　Easton　tried　to　persuade　himself　that　he　did　not　very　much　regret　what　had　happened。　　Mrs　Linden　looked　after　Freddie；　and　Easton　tried　to　believe　that　he　would　really　be　better　off　now　that　he　had　only　himself　and　the　child　to　provide　for。

At　first；　whenever　he　happened　to　meet　Owen；　they　used　to　speak　of　Ruth；　or　to　be　more　correct；　Easton　used　to　speak　of　her；　but　one　day　when　the　two　men　were　working　together　Owen　had　expressed　himself　rather　offensively。　　He　seemed　to　think　that　Easton　was　more　to　blame　than　she　was；　and　afterwards　they　avoided　the　subject；　although　Easton　found　it　difficult　to　avoid　the　thoughts　the　other　man's　words　suggested。

Now　and　then　he　heard　of　Ruth　and　learnt　that　she　was　still　working　at　the　same　place；　and　once　he　met　her　suddenly　and　unexpectedly　in　the　street。　　They　passed　each　other　hurriedly　and　he　did　not　see　the　scarlet　flush　that　for　an　instant　dyed　her　face；　nor　the　deathly　pallor　that　succeeded　it。

He　never　went　to　Owen's　place　or　sent　any　communication　to　Ruth；　nor　did　she　ever　send　him　any；　but　although　Easton　did　not　know　it　she　frequently　saw　Freddie；　for　when　Elsie　Linden　took　the　child　out　she　often　called　to　see　Mrs　Owen。

As　time　went　on　and　the　resentment　he　had　felt　towards　her　lost　its　first　bitterness；　Easton　began　to　think　there　was　perhaps　some　little　justification　for　what　Owen　had　said；　and　gradually　there　grew　within　him　an　immense　desire　for　reconciliation　…　to　start　afresh　and　to　forget　all　that　had　happened；　but　the　more　he　thought　of　this　the　more　hopeless　and　impossible　of　realization　it　seemed。

Although　perhaps　he　was　not　conscious　of　it；　this　desire　arose　solely　from　selfish　motives。　　The　money　he　earned　seemed　to　melt　away　almost　as　soon　as　he　received　it；　to　his　surprise　he　found　that　he　was　not　nearly　so　well　off　in　regard　to　personal　comfort　as　he　had　been　formerly；　and　the　house　seemed　to　grow　more　dreary　and　desolate　as　the　wintry　days　dragged　slowly　by。　　Sometimes　…　when　he　had　the　money　…　he　sought　forgetfulness　in　the　society　of　Crass　and　the　other　frequenters　of　the　Cricketers；　but　somehow　or　other　he　could　not　take　the　same　pleasure　in　the　conversation　of　these　people　as　formerly；　when　he　had　found　it　…　as　he　now　sometimes　wondered　to　remember　…　so　entertaining　as　to　almost　make　him　forget　Ruth's　existence。

One　evening　about　three　weeks　before　Christmas；　as　he　and　Owen　were　walking　homewards　together　from　work；　Easton　reverted　for　the　first　time　to　their　former　conversation。　　He　spoke　with　a　superior　air：　his　manner　and　tone　indicating　that　he　thought　he　was　behaving　with　great　generosity。　　He　would　be　willing　to　forgive　her　and　have　her　back；　he　said；　if　she　would　come：　but　he　would　never　be　able　to　tolerate　the　child。　　Of　course　it　might　be　sent　to　an　orphanage　or　some　similar　institution；　but　he　was　afraid　Ruth　would　never　consent　to　that；　and　he　knew　that　her　stepmother　would　not　take　it。

‘If　you　can　persuade　her　to　return　to　you；　we'll　take　the　child；'　said　Owen。

‘Do　you　think　your　wife　would　be　willing？'

‘She　has　already　suggested　doing　so。'

‘To　Ruth？'

‘No：　to　me。　　We　thought　it　a　possible　way　for　you；　and　my　wife　would　like　to　have　the　child。'

‘But　would　you　be　able　to　afford　it？'　said　Easton。

‘We　should　manage　all　right。'

‘Of　course；'　said　Easton；　‘if　Slyme　comes　back　he　might　agree　to　pay　something　for　its　keep。'

Owen　flushed。

‘I　wouldn't　take　his　money。'

After　a　long　pause　Easton　continued：　‘Would　you　mind　asking　Mrs　Owen　to　suggest　it　to　Ruth？'

‘If　you　like　I'll　get　her　to　suggest　it　…　as　a　message　from　you。'

‘What　I　meant；'　said　Easton　hesitatingly；　‘was　that　your　wife　might　just　suggest　it　…　casual　like　…　and　advise　her　that　it　would　be　the　best　way；　and　then　you　could　let　me　know　what　Ruth　said。'

‘No；'　replied　Owen；　unable　any　longer　to　control　his　resentment　of　the　other's　manner；　‘as　things　stand　now；　if　it　were　not　for　the　other　child；　I　should　advise　her　to　have　nothing　further　to　do　with　you。　You　seem　to　think　that　you　are　acting　a　very　generous　part　in　being　〃willing〃　to　have　her　back；　but　she's　better　off　now　than　she　was　with　you。　　I　see　no　reason　…　except　for　the　other　child　…　why　she　should　go　back　to　you。　　As　far　as　I　understand　it；　you　had　a　good　wife　and　you　ill…treated　her。'

‘I　never　ill…treated　her！　　I　never　raised　my　hand　to　her　…　at　least　only　once；　and　then　I　didn't　hurt　her。　　Does　she　say　I　ill…treated　her。'

‘Oh　no：　from　what　my　wife　tells　me　she　only　blames　herself；　but　I'm　drawing　my　own　conclusions。　　You　may　not　have　struck　her；　but　you　did　worse　…　you　treated　her　with　indifference　and　exposed　her　to　temptation。　　What　has　happened　is　the　natural　result　of　your　neglect　and　want　of　care　for　her。　　The　responsibility　for　what　has　happened　is　mainly　yours；　but　apparently　you　wish　to　pose　now　as　being　very　generous　and　to　〃forgive　her〃　…　you're　〃willing〃　to　take　her　back；　but　it　seems　to　me　that　it　would　be　more　fitting　that　you　should　ask　her　to　forgive　you。'

Easton　made　no　answer　and　after　a　long　silence　the　other　continued：

‘I　would　not　advise　her　to　go　back　to　you　on　such　terms　as　you　seem　to　think　right；　because　if　you　became　reconciled　on　such　terms　I　don't　think　either　of　you　could　be　happy。　　Your　only　chance　of　happiness　is　to　realize　that　you　have　both　done　wrong；　that　each　of　you　has　something　to　forgive；　to　forgive　and　never　speak　of　it　aga