the professor(教授)-第6节
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Crimsworth’s blue eye became incensed; he took his revenge
rather oddly。 Turning to me he said bluntly—
“You are poor enough; I suppose; how do you expect to live till
your quarter’s salary becomes due?”
“I shall get on;” said I。
“How do you expect to live?” he repeated in a louder voice。
“As I can; Mr。 Crimsworth。”
“Get into debt at your peril! that’s all;” he answered。 “For aught
I know you may have extravagant aristocratic habits: if you have;
drop them; I tolerate nothing of the sort here; and I will never give
you a shilling extra; whatever liabilities you may incur—mind
that。”
“Yes; Mr。 Crimsworth; you will find I have a good memory。”
I said no more。 I did not think the time was come for much
parley。 I had an instinctive feeling that it would be folly to let one’s
temper effervesce often with such a man as Edward。 I said to
myself; “I will place my cup under this continual dropping; it shall
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The Professor 25
stand there still and steady; when full; it will run over of itself—
meantime patience。 Two things are certain。 I am capable of
performing the work Mr。 Crimsworth has set me; I can earn my
wages conscientiously; and those wages are sufficient to enable me
to live。 As to the fact of my brother assuming towards me the
bearing of a proud; harsh master; the fault is his; not mine; and
shall his injustice; his bad feeling; turn me at once aside from the
path I have chosen? No; at least; ere I deviate; I will advance far
enough to see whither my career tends。 As yet I am only pressing
in at the entrance—a strait gate enough; it ought to have a good
terminus。” While I thus reasoned; Mr。 Crimsworth rang a bell; his
first clerk; the individual dismissed previously to our conference;
re…entered。
“Mr。 Steighton;” said he; “show Mr。 William the letters from
Voss Brothers; and give him English copies of the answers; he will
translate them。”
Mr。 Steighton; a man of about thirty…five; with a face at once sly
and heavy; hastened to execute this order; he laid the letters on
the desk; and I was soon seated at it; and engaged in rendering the
English answers into German。 A sentiment of keen pleasure
accompanied this first effort to earn my own living—a sentiment
neither poisoned nor weakened by the presence of the taskmaster;
who stood and watched me for some time as I wrote。 I thought he
was trying to read my character; but I felt as secure against his
scrutiny as if I had had on a casque with the visor down…or rather I
showed him my countenance with the confidence that one would
show an unlearned man a letter written in Greek; he might see
lines; and trace characters; but he could make nothing of them; my
nature was not his nature; and its signs were to him like the words
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The Professor 26
of an unknown tongue。 Ere long he turned away abruptly; as if
baffled; and left the counting…house; he returned to it but twice in
the course of that day; each time he mixed and swallowed a glass
of brandy…and…water; the materials for making which he extracted
from a cupboard on one side of the fireplace; having glanced at my
translations—he could read both French and German—he went
out again in silence。
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The Professor 27
Chapter III
served Edward as his second clerk faithfully; punctually;
Idiligently。 What was given me to do I had the power and the
determination to do well。 Mr。 Crimsworth watched sharply for
defects; but found none; he set Timothy Steighton; his favourite
and head man; to watch also。 Tim was baffled; I was as exact as
himself; and quicker。 Mr。 Crimsworth made inquiries as to how I
lived; whether I got into debt—no; my accounts with my landlady
were always straight。 I had hired small lodgings; which I contrived
to pay for out of a slender fund—the accumulated savings of my
Eton pocket…money; for as it had ever been abhorrent to my
nature to ask pecuniary assistance; I had early acquired habits of
self…denying economy; husbanding my monthly allowance with
anxious care; in order to obviate the danger of being forced; in
some moment of future exigency; to beg additional aid。 I
remember many called me miser at the time; and I used to couple
the reproach with this consolation—better to be misunderstood
now than repulsed hereafter。 At this day I had my reward; I had
had it before; when on parting with my irritated uncles one of
them threw down on the table before me a £5 note; which I was
able to leave there; saying that my travelling expenses were
already provided for。 Mr。 Crimsworth employed Tim to find out
whether my landlady had any complaint to make on the score of
my morals; she answered that she believed I was a very religious
man; and asked Tim; in her turn; if he thought I had any intention
of going into the Church some day; for; she said; she had had
young curates to lodge in her house who were nothing equal to me
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The Professor 28
for steadiness and quietness。 Tim was “a religious man” himself;
indeed; he was “a joined Methodist;” which did not (be it
understood) prevent him from being at the same time an
engrained rascal; and he came away much posed at hearing this
account of my piety。 Having imparted it to Mr。 Crimsworth; that
gentleman; who himself frequented no place of worship; and
owned no God but Mammon; turned the information into a
weapon of attack against the equability of my temper。 He
commenced a series of covert sneers; of which I did not at first
perceive the drift; till my landlady happened to relate the
conversation she had had with Mr。 Steighton; this enlightened me;
afterwards I came to the counting…house prepared; and managed
to receive the mill…owner’s blasphemous sarcasms; when next
levelled at me; on a buckler of impenetrable indifference。 Ere long
he tired of wasting his ammunition on a statue; but he did not
throw away the shafts—he only kept them quiet in his quiver。
Once during my clerkship I had an invitation to Crimsworth
Hall; it was on the occasion of a large party given in honour of the
master’s birthday; he had always been accustomed to invite his
clerks on similar anniversaries; and could not well pass me over; I
was; however; kept strictly in the background。 Mrs。 Crimsworth;
elegantly dressed in satin and lace; blooming in youth and health;
vouchsafed me no more notice than was expressed by a distant
move; Crimsworth; of course; never spoke to me; I was introduced
to none of the band of young ladies; who; enveloped in silvery
clouds of white gauze and muslin; sat in array against me on the
opposite side of a long and large room; in fact; I was fairly isolated;
and could but contemplate the shining ones from afar; and when
weary of such a dazzling scene; turn for a change to the
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The Professor 29
consideration of the carpet pattern。 Mr。 Cr