the professor(教授)-第54节
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produced by a course of interesting and romantic domestic
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treachery。 No golden halo of fiction was about this example； I saw
it bare and real； and it was very loathsome。 I saw a mind degraded
by the practice of mean subterfuge； by the habit of perfidious
deception； and a body depraved by the infectious influence of the
vice…polluted soul。 I had suffered much from the forced and
prolonged view of this spectacle； those sufferings I did not now
regret； for their simple recollection acted as a most wholesome
antidote to temptation。 They had inscribed on my reason the
conviction that unlawful pleasure； trenching on another’s rights； is
delusive and envenomed pleasure—its hollowness disappoints at
the time； its poison cruelly tortures afterwards； its effects deprave
for ever。
From all this resulted the conclusion that I must leave Pelet’s；
and that instantly； “but；” said Prudence； “you know not where to
go； nor how to live；” and then the dream of true love came over
me： Frances Henri seemed to stand at my side； her slender waist
to invite my arm； her hand to court my hand； I felt it was made to
nestle in mine； I could not relinquish my right to it； nor could I
withdraw my eyes for ever from hers； where I saw so much
happiness； such a correspondence of heart with heart； over whose
expression I had such influence； where I could kindle bliss； infuse
awe； stir deep delight； rouse sparkling spirit； and sometimes
waken pleasurable dread。 My hopes to will and possess； my
resolutions to merit and rise； rose in array against me； and here I
was about to plunge into the gulf of absolute destitution； “and all
this；” suggested an inward voice； “because you fear an evil which
may never happen！” “It will happen； you know it will；” answered
that stubborn monitor； Conscience。 “Do what you feel is right；
obey me； and even in the sloughs of want I will plant for you firm
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footing。” And then； as I walked fast along the road； there rose
upon me a strange； inly…felt idea of some Great Being； unseen； but
all present； who in His beneficence desired only my welfare； and
now watched the struggle of good sad evil in my heart； and waited
to see whether I should obey His voice； heard in the whispers of
my conscience； or lend an ear to the sophisms by which His enemy
and mine—the Spirit of Evil—sought to lead me astray。 Rough and
steep was the path indicated by divine suggestion； mossy and
declining the green way along which Temptation strewed flowers；
but whereas； methought； the Deity of Love； the Friend of all that
exists； would smile well…pleased were I to gird up my loins and
address myself to the rude ascent； so； on the other hand； each
inclination to the velvet declivity seemed to kindle a gleam of
triumph on the brow of the man…hating； God…defying demon。
Sharp and short I turned round； fast I retraced my steps； in half
an hour I was again at M。 Pelet’s： I sought him in his study； brief
parley； concise explanation sufficed； my manner proved that I was
resolved； he； perhaps； at heart approved my decision。 After twenty
minutes’ conversation； I re…entered my own room； self…deprived of
the means of living； self…sentenced to leave my present home； with
the short notice of a week in which to provide another。
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Chapter XXI
irectly as I closed the door； I saw laid on the table two
letters； my thought was； that they were notes of invitation
D
from the friends of some of my pupils； I had received
such marks of attention occasionally； and with me； who had no
friends； correspondence of more interest was out of the question；
the postman’s arrival had never yet been an event of interest to me
since I came to Brussels。 I laid my hand carelessly on the
documents； and coldly and slowly glancing at them； I prepared to
break the seals； my eye was arrested and my hand too； I saw what
excited me； as if I had found a vivid picture where I expected only
to discover a blank page： on one cover was an English postmark；
on the other； a lady’s clear； fine autograph； the last I opened
first：—
“MONSIEUR； “I found out what you had done the very morning
after your visit to me； you might be sure I should dust the china；
every day； and； as no one but you had been in my room for a week；
and as fairy…money is not current in Brussels； I could not doubt
who left the twenty francs on the chimney…piece。 I thought I heard
you stir the vase when I was stooping to look for your glove under
the table； and I wondered you should imagine it had got into such
a little cup。 Now； monsieur； the money is not mine； and I shall not
keep it； I will not send it in this note because it might be lost—
besides； it is heavy； but I will restore it to you the first time I see
you； and you must make no difficulties about taking it； because； in
the first place； I am sure； monsieur； you can understand that one
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likes to pay one’s debts； that it is satisfactory to owe no man
anything； and； in the second place； I can now very well afford to be
honest； as I am provided with a situation。 This last circumstance
is； indeed； the reason of my writing to you； for it is pleasant to
communicate good news； and； in these days； I have only my
master to whom I can tell anything。
“A week ago； monsieur； I was sent for by a Mrs。 Wharton； an
English lady； her eldest daughter was going to be married； and
some rich relation having made her a present of a veil and dress in
costly old lace； as precious； they said； almost as jewels； but a little
damaged by time； I was commissioned to put them in repair。 I had
to do it at the house； they gave me； besides； some embroidery to
complete； and nearly a week elapsed before I had finished
everything。 While I worked； Miss Wharton often came into the
room and sat with me； and so did Mrs。 Wharton； they made me
talk English； asked how I had learned to speak it so well； then they
inquired what I knew besides—what books I had read； soon they
seemed to make a sort of wonder of me； considering me no doubt
as a learned grisette。 One afternoon； Mrs。 Wharton brought in a
Parisian lady to test the accuracy of my knowledge of French； the
result of it： was that； owing probably in a great degree to the
mother’s and daughter’s good humour about the marriage； which
inclined them to do beneficent deeds； and partly； I think； because
they are naturally benevolent people； they decided that the wish I
had expressed to do something more than mend lace was a very
legitimate one； and the same day they took me in their carriage to
Mrs。 D。’s； who is the directress of the first English school at
Brussels。 It seems she happened to be in want of a French lady to
give lessons in geography； history； grammar； and composition； in
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the French language。 Mrs。 Wharton recommended me very
warmly； and； as two of her younger daughters are pupils in the
house； her pa
