the professor(教授)-第51节
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such little scenes her spirits would maintain their flow； often for
some hours； and； as I remarked before； her health therefrom took
a sustenance and vigour which； previously to the event of her
aunt’s death and her dismissal； had almost recreated her whole
frame。
It has taken me several minutes to write these last sentences；
but I had thought all their purport during the brief interval of
descending the stairs from Frances’ room。 Just as I was opening
the outer door； I remembered the twenty francs which I had not
restored； I paused： impossible to carry them away with me；
difficult to force them back on their original owner； I had now
seen her in her own humble abode； witnessed the dignity of her
poverty； the pride of order； the fastidious care of conservatism；
obvious in the arrangement and economy of her little home； I was
sure she would not suffer herself to be excused paying her debts； I
was certain the favour of indemnity would be accepted from no
hand； perhaps least of all from mine： yet these four five…franc
pieces were a burden to my self…respect； and I must get rid of
them。 An expedient—a clumsy one no doubt； but the best I could
devise…suggested itself to me。 I darted up the stairs； knocked； re…
entered the room as if in haste：—
“Mademoiselle； I have forgotten one of my gloves； I must have
left it here。”
She instantly rose to seek it； as she turned her back； I—being
now at the hearth—noiselessly lifted a little vase； one of a set of
china ornaments； as old…fashioned as the tea…cups—slipped the
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money under it； then saying—“Oh here is my glove！ I had dropped
it within the fender； good evening； mademoiselle；” I made my
second exit。
Brief as my impromptu return had been； it had afforded me
time to pick up a heart…ache； I remarked that Frances had already
removed the red embers of her cheerful little fire from the grate：
forced to calculate every item； to save in every detail； she had
instantly on my departure retrenched a luxury too expensive to be
enjoyed alone。
“I am glad it is not yet winter；” thought I； “but in two months
more come the winds and rains of November； would to God that
before then I could earn the right； and the power； to shovel coals
into that grate ad libitum！”
Already the pavement was drying； a balmy and fresh breeze
stirred the air； purified by lightning； I felt the West behind me；
where spread a sky like opal； azure immingled with crimson： the
enlarged sun； glorious in Tyrian tints； dipped his brim already；
stepping； as I was； eastward； I faced a vast bank of clouds； but also
I had before me the arch of an evening rainbow； a perfect
rainbow—high； wide； vivid。 I looked long； my eye drank in the
scene； and I suppose my brain must have absorbed it； for that
night； after lying awake in pleasant fever a long time； watching the
silent sheet…lightning； which still played among the retreating
clouds； and flashed silvery over the stars； I at last fell asleep； and
then in a dream were reproduced the setting sun； the bank of
clouds； the mighty rainbow。 I stood； methought； on a terrace； I
leaned over a parapeted wall； there was space below me； depth I
could not fathom； but hearing an endless dash of waves； I believed
it to be the sea； sea spread to the horizon； sea of changeful green
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and intense blue： all was soft in the distance； all vapour…veiled。 A
spark of gold glistened on the line between water and air； floated
up； approached； enlarged； changed； the object hung midway
between heaven and earth； under the arch of the rainbow； the soft
but dusk clouds diffused behind。 It hovered as on wings； pearly；
fleecy； gleaming air streamed like raiment round it； light； tinted
with carnation； coloured what seemed face and limbs； A large star
shone with still lustre on an angel’s forehead； an upraised arm and
hand； glancing like a ray； pointed to the bow overhead； and a voice
in my heart whispered—
“Hope smiles on Effort！”
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Chapter XX
competency was what I wanted； a competency it was now
Amy aim and resolve to secure； but never had I been
farther from the mark。 With August the school…year
（l’année scolaire） closed； the examinations concluded； the prizes
were adjudged； the schools dispersed； the gates of all colleges； the
doors of all pensionnats shut； not to be reopened till the beginning
or middle of October。 The last day of August was at hand； and
what was my position？ Had I advanced a step since the
commencement of the past quarter？ On the contrary； I had
receded one。 By renouncing my engagement as English master in
Mdlle Reuter’s establishment； I had voluntarily cut off ￡20 from
my yearly income； I had diminished my ￡60 per annum to ￡40； and
even that sum I now held by a very precarious tenure。
It is some time since I made any reference to M。 Pelet。 The
moonlight walk is； I think； the last incident recorded in this
narrative where that gentleman cuts any conspicuous figure： the
fact is； since that event； a change had come over the spirit of our
intercourse。 He； indeed； ignorant that the still hour； a cloudless
moon； and an open lattice； had revealed to me the secret of his
selfish love and false friendship； would have continued smooth
and complaisant as ever； but I grew spiny as a porcupine； and
inflexible as a blackthorn cudgel； I never had a smile for his
raillery； never a moment for his society； his invitations to take
coffee with him in his parlour were invariably rejected； and very
stiffly and sternly rejected too； his jesting allusions to the
directress （which he still continued） were heard with a grim calm
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very different from the petulant pleasure they were formerly wont
to excite。 For a long time Pelet bore with my frigid demeanour
very patiently； he even increased his attentions； but finding that
even a cringing politeness failed to thaw or move me； he at last
altered too； in his turn he cooled； his invitations ceased； his
countenance became suspicious and overcast； and I read in the
perplexed yet brooding aspect of his brow； a constant examination
and comparison of premises； and an anxious endeavour to draw
thence some explanatory inference。 Ere long； I fancy； he
succeeded； for he was not without penetration； perhaps； too； Mdlle
Zoraide might have aided him in the solution of the enigma； at any
rate I soon found that the uncertainty of doubt had vanished from
his manner； renouncing all pretence of friendship and cordiality；
he adopted a reserved； formal； but still scrupulously polite
deportment。 This was the point to which I had wished to bring
him； and I was now again comparatively at my ease。 I did not； it is
true； like my position in his house； but
