the professor(教授)-第2节
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T
to an old school acquaintance：—
“DEAR CHARLES； “I think when you and I were at Eton
together； we were neither of us what could be called popular
characters： you were a sarcastic； observant； shrewd； cold…blooded
creature； my own portrait I will not attempt to draw； but I cannot
recollect that it was a strikingly attractive one—can you？ What
animal magnetism drew thee and me together I know not；
certainly I never experienced anything of the Pylades and Orestes
sentiment for you； and I have reason to believe that you； on your
part； were equally free from all romantic regard to me。 Still； out of
school hours we walked and talked continually together； when the
theme of conversation was our companions or our masters we
understood each other； and when I recurred to some sentiment of
affection； some vague love of an excellent or beautiful object；
whether in animate or inanimate nature； your sardonic coldness
did not move me。 I felt myself superior to that check then as I do
now。
“It is a long time since I wrote to you； and a still longer time
since I saw you。 Chancing to take up a newspaper of your county
the other day； my eye fell upon your name。 I began to think of old
times； to run over the events which have transpired since we
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separated； and I sat down and commenced this letter。 What you
have been doing I know not； but you shall hear； if you choose to
listen； how the world has wagged with me。
“First； after leaving Eton； I had an interview with my maternal
uncles； Lord Tynedale and the Hon。 John Seacombe。 They asked
me if I would enter the Church； and my uncle the nobleman
offered me the living of Seacombe； which is in his gift； if I would；
then my other uncle； Mr。 Seacombe； hinted that when I became
rector of Seacombe…cum…Scaife； I might perhaps be allowed to
take； as mistress of my house and head of my parish； one of my six
cousins； his daughters； all of whom I greatly dislike。
“I declined both the Church and matrimony。 A good clergyman
is a good thing； but I should have made a very bad one。 As to the
wife—oh how like a night…mare is the thought of being bound for
life to one of my cousins！ No doubt they are accomplished and
pretty； but not an accomplishment； not a charm of theirs； touches
a chord in my bosom。 To think of passing the winter evenings by
the parlour fire…side of Seacombe Rectory alone with one of
them—for instance； the large and well…modelled statue； Sarah—
no； I should be a bad husband； under such circumstances； as well
as a bad clergyman。
“When I had declined my uncles’ offers they asked me ‘what I
intended to do？’ I said I should reflect。 They reminded me that I
had no fortune； and no expectation of any； and； after a
considerable pause； Lord Tynedale demanded sternly； ‘Whether I
had thoughts of following my father’s steps and engaging in
trade？’ Now； I had had no thoughts of the sort。 I do not think that
my turn of mind qualifies me to make a good tradesman； my taste；
my ambition does not lie in that way； but such was the scorn
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expressed in Lord Tynedale’s countenance as he pronounced the
word trade—such the contemptuous sarcasm of his tone—that I
was instantly decided。 My father was but a name to me； yet that
name I did not like to hear mentioned with a sneer to my very
face。 I answered then； with haste and warmth； ‘I cannot do better
than follow in my father’s steps； yes； I will be a tradesman。’ My
uncles did not remonstrate； they and I parted with mutual disgust。
In reviewing this transaction； I find that I was quite right to shake
off the burden of Tynedale’s patronage； but a fool to offer my
shoulders instantly for the reception of another burden—one
which might be more intolerable； and which certainly was yet
untried。
“I wrote instantly to Edward—you know Edward—my only
brother； ten years my senior； married to a rich mill…owner’s
daughter； and now possessor of the mill and business which was
my father’s before he failed。 You are aware that my father…once
reckoned a Croesus of wealth—became bankrupt a short time
previous to his death； and that my mother lived in destitution for
some six months after him； unhelped by her aristocratical
brothers； whom she had mortally offended by her union with
Crimsworth； the —shire manufacturer。 At the end of the six
months she brought me into the world； and then herself left it
without； I should think； much regret； as it contained little hope or
comfort for her。
“My father’s relations took charge of Edward； as they did of me；
till I was nine years old。 At that period it chanced that the
representation of an important borough in our county fell vacant；
Mr。 Seacombe stood for it。 My uncle Crimsworth； an astute
mercantile man； took the opportunity of writing a fierce letter to
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the candidate； stating that if he and Lord Tynedale did not
consent to do something towards the support of their sister’s
orphan children； he would expose their relentless and malignant
conduct towards that sister； and do his best to turn the
circumstances against Mr。 Seacombe’s election。 That gentleman
and Lord T。 knew well enough that the Crimsworths were an
unscrupulous and determined race； they knew also that they had
influence in the borough of X—； and； making a virtue of necessity；
they consented to defray the expenses of my education。 I was sent
to Eton； where I remained ten years； during which space of time
Edward and I never met。 He； when he grew up； entered into trade；
and pursued his calling with such diligence； ability； and success；
that now； in his thirtieth year； he was fast making a fortune。 Of
this I was apprised by the occasional short letters I received from
him； some three or four times a year； which said letters never
concluded without some expression of determined enmity against
the house of Seacombe； and some reproach to me for living； as he
said； on the bounty of that house。 At first； while still in boyhood； I
could not understand why； as I had no parents； I should not be
indebted to my uncles Tynedale and Seacombe for my education；
but as I grew up； and heard by degrees of the persevering hostility；
the hatred till death evinced by them against my father—of the
sufferings of my mother—of all the wrongs； in short； of our
house—then did I conceive shame of the dependence in which I
lived； and form a resolution no more to take bread from hands
which had refused to minister to the necessities of my dying
mother。 It was by these feelings I was influenced when I refused
the Rectory of Seacombe； and the union with one of my patrician
cousins。
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“An irreparable breach thus being effected between my uncles
and myself； I wrote to Edward； told him what had occurred； and
informed him of my intention to follow his steps and be a
tradesman。 I asked； mo
