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　moral　superiors；　on　insufficient　information。Your　affectionate　brother；

ALFRED。'

A　poor　return　for　me　loving　his　soul　as　my　own。　I　do　but　advise　him　the　self…denial　I　myself　pursue。　Woe　be　to　him　if　he　rejects　it。〃

_〃March　20th。_A　perverse　reply　from　J。　D。　I　had　proposed　we　should　plead　for　our　parents　at　the　Throne。　She　says　she　fears　that　might　seem　like　assuming　the　office　of　the　mediator：　and　besides　her　mother　is　nearer　Heaven　than　she　is。　What　blindness！　I　don't　know　a　more　thoroughly　unhealthy　mind　than　poor　Mrs。　（k）　Dodd's。　I　am　learning　to　pray　walking。　Got　this　idea　from　Mr。　Plummer。　How　closely　he　walks！　his　mind　so　_exactly_　suits　mine。

_〃March　22nd。_Alfred　returned。　Went　to　meet　him　at　the　station。　How　bright　and　handsome　he　looked！　He　kissed　me　so　affectionately；　and　was　as　kind　and　loving　as　could　be：　I；　poor　unfaithful　wretch；　went　hanging　（m）　on　his　arm；　and　had　not　the　heart　to　dash　his　carnal　happiness　just　then。

〃He　is　gone　_there。_〃

_〃March　24th。_Stole　into　Alfred's　lodging　when　he　was　out；　and；　after　prayer；　pinned　Deuteronomy　xxvii。　16；　Proverbs　xiii。　1；　and　xv。　5；　and　Mark　vii。　10；　upon　his　bed…curtains。〃

_〃March　25th。_Alfred　has　been　in　my　room；　and　nailed　Matthew　vii。　1；　Mark　x。　7；　and　Ezek。　xviii。　20；　on　my　wall。　He　found　my　diary；　and　has　read　it；　not　to　profit　by；　alas！　but　to　scoff。〃

＇Specimen　of　Alfred's　comments。　_N。B。_　Fraternal　criticism：

A。　Nolo　Episcopari。

B。　It's　an　ill　wind　that　blows　nobody　good。

D。　The　old　trick；　picking　one　text；　straining　it；　and　ignoring　six。　So　then　nobody　who　is　not　born　married；　must　get　married。

E。　Recipe。　To　know　people's　real　estimate　of　themselves；　study　their　language　of　self…depreciation。　If；　even　when　they　undertake　to　lower　themselves；　they　cannot　help　insinuating　self…praise；　be　sure　their　humility　is　a　puddle；　their　vanity　is　a　well。　This　sentence　is　typical　of　the　whole　Diary　or　rather　Iary；　it　sounds　Publican；　smells　Pharisee。

X。　How　potent　a　thing　is　language　in　the　hand　of　a　master：　Here　is　sudden　death　made　humorous　by　a　few　incongruous　phrases　neatly　disposed。

F。　Excuse　me；　there　is　still　a　little　market　for　the　Liquefaction　of　Holy　Writ；　and　the　perversion　of　Holy　Writ；　two　deathless　arts；　which　meet　in　your　comment　on　the　song　you　ascribe　to　Solomon。

Z。　More　than　Mrs。　Plummer　does；　apparently。

G。　Apotheosis　of　the　British　public。　How　very　like　profaneness　some　people's　piety　is！

C。　H。　Faith；　with　this　school；　means　anything　the　opposite　of　Charity。

I。　You　are　morally　truthful：　but　intellectually　mendacious。　The　texts　on　Solomon's　Song！　You　know　very　well　there　is　not　one。　No　grave　writer　in　all　Scripture　has　ever　deigned　to　cite；　or　notice；　that　coarse　composition；　puellarum　deliciae。

J。　Modest　periphrasis　for　〃I　like　it。〃　Motto　for　this　Diary；　〃Ego；　et　Deus　meus。〃

K。　In　other　words；　a　good；　old…fashioned；　sober；　humble　Christian；　to　whom　the　daring　familiarities　of　your　school　seem　blasphemies。

M。　Here　I　recognise　my　sister；　somewhat　spoiled　by　a　detestable　sect；　but　lovable　by　nature　（which　she　is　for　ever　abusing）；　and　therefore　always　amiable；　when　off　her　guard。＇

_〃March　28th。_Mr。　Crawford　the　attorney　called　and　told　papa　his　son　had　instructed　him　to　examine　the　trust…deed；　and　to　draw　his　marriage　settlement。　Papa　treated　him　with　the　greatest　civility；　and　brought　him　the　deed。　He　wanted　to　take　it　away　to　copy；　but　papa　said　he　had　better　send　a　clerk　here。　Poor　papa　hid　his　distress　from　this　gentleman；　though　not　from　me；　and　gave　him　a　glass　of　wine。

〃Then　Mr。　Crawford　chatted；　and　let　out　Alfred　had　asked　him　to　advance　a　hundred　pounds　for　the　wedding　presents；　&c。　Papa　said　he　might　do　so　with　perfect　safety。

〃But　the　moment　he　was　gone；　his　whole　manner　changed。　He　walked　about　in　terrible　anger　and　agitation：　and　then　sat　down　and　wrote　letters；　one　was　to　uncle　Thomas；　and　one　to　a　Mr。　Wycherley；　I　believe　a　brother　of　the　doctor's。　I　never　knew　him　so　long　writing　two　letters　before。

〃Heard　a　noise　in　the　road；　and　it　was　Mr。　Maxley；　and　the　boys　after　him　hooting；　they　have　found　out　his　infirmity：　what　a　savage　animal　is　man；　till　grace　changes　him！　The　poor　soul　had　a　stick；　and　now　and　then　turned　and　struck　at　them　but　his　tormentors　were　too　nimble。　I　drew　papa　to　the　window；　and　showed　him；　and　reminded　him　of　the　poor　man's　request。　He　answered　impatiently　what　was　that　to　him？　'We　have　a　worse　case　nearer　hand。　Charity　begins　at　home。'　I　ventured　to　say　yes；　but　it　did　not　begin　_and_　end　at　home。〃

_〃March　31st。_Mr。　Osmond　here　to…day；　and　over　my　work　I　heard　papa　tell　him　Alfred　is　blackening　his　character　in　the　town　with　some　impossible　story　about　fourteen　thousand　pounds。　Mr。　Osmond　very　kind　and　sympathising；　set　it　all　down　to　illusion；　assured　papa　there　was　neither　malice　nor　insincerity　in　it。　'But　what　the　better　am　I　for　that？'　said　poor　papa；　'if　I　am　slandered；　I　am　slandered。'　And　they　went　out　together。

〃Papa　seems　to　feel　this　engagement　more　than　all　his　troubles；　and；　knowing　by　sad　experience　it　is　useless　to　expostulate　with　Alfred；　I　wrote　a　long　and　faithful　letter　to　Julia　just　before　luncheon；　putting　it　to　her　as　a　Christian　whether　she　could　reconcile　it　to　her　profession　to　set　a　son　against　his　father；　and　marry　him　in　open　defiance。

〃She　replied；　3　P。　M。；　that　her　mother　approved　the　marriage；　and　she　owed　no　obedience；　nor　affection　either；　to　_my_　parent

〃3。30。　Sent　back　a　line　rebuking　her　for　this　quibble。

〃At　5　received　a　note　from　Mrs。　Dodd　proposing　that　the　correspondence　between　myself　and　her　daughter　should　cease　_for　the　present。_

5。30。　Retorted　with　an　amendment　that　it　should　cease　_for　ever。_　No　reply。　Such　are　worldlings！　Remonstrance　only　galls　them。　And　so　in　one　afternoon's　correspondence　ends　one　more　of　my　Christian　friendships　with　persons　of　my　own　sex。　This　is　the　eighth　to　which　a　carnal　attachment　has　been　speedily　fatal。

〃In　the　evening　Alfred　came　in　looking　very　red；　and　asked　me　whether　it　was　not　self…reliant　and　uncharitable　of　me　to　condemn　so　many　estimable　persons；　all　better　acquainted　with　the　circumstances　than　I　am。　I　replied　with　the　fifth　commandment。　He　bit　his　lip　and　said；　'We　had　better　not　meet　again；　until　you　have　found　out　which　is　worthiest　of　honour；　your　father　or　your　brother。'　And　with　this　he　left　abruptly；　and　something　tells　me　I　shall　not　see　him　again。　My　faithfulness　has　wounded　him　to　the　quick。　Alas！　Prayed　for　him　and　cried　myself　to　sleep。〃

_〃April　4th。_　Met　_him_　disguised　as　a　common　workman；　and　carrying　a　sack　full　of　things。　I　was　so　shocked　I　could　not　maintain　my　resolution：　I　said；　'Oh；　Mr。　Edward；　what　are　you　doing？'　He　blushed　a　little；　but　told　me　he　was　going　to　sell　some　candlesticks　and　things　of　his　making：　and　he　should　get　a　better　price　in　that　dress；　all　traders　looked　on　a　_gentleman_　as　a　thing　made　to　be　pillaged。　Then　he　told　me　he　was　going　to　turn　them　into　a　bonnet　and　a　wreath；　and　his　beautiful　brown　eyes　sparkled　with　affection。　What　egotistical　creatures　_they_　must　be！　I　was　quite　overcome；　and　said；　Oh　why　did　he　refuse　our　offer？　Did　he　hate　me　so　very　much　that　he　would　not　even　take　his　due　from　my　hand？　'No；'　he　said；　'nobody　in　our　house　is　so　unjust　to　you　as　to　hate　you；　my　sister　honours　you；　and　is　very　sorry　you　think　ill　of　her：　and；　as　for　me；　I　love　you；　you　know　how　I　love　you。'　I　hid　my　face　in　my　hands；　and　sobbed　out；　'Oh；　you　must　not；　you　must　not；　my　poor　father　has　one　disobedient　child　already。'　He　said　softly；　'Don't　cry；　dear　one；　have　a　little　patience；　perhaps　the　clouds　will　clear：　and；　meantime；　why　think　so　ill　of　us？　Consider；　we　are　four　in　number；　of　different　dispositious；　yet　all　of　one　mind　about　Julia　marrying　Alfred。　May　we　not　be　right；　may　we　not　know　something　we　love　you　too　well　to　tell　you？'　His　words　and　his　rich　manly　voice　were　so　soothing；　I　gave　him　just　one　hand　while　I　still　hid　my　burning　face　with　the　other；　he　kissed　the　hand　I　yielded　him；　and　left　me　abruptly。

〃If　Alfred　should　be　right！　I　am　staggered　now；　he　puts　it　so　much　more　convincingly。〃

_〃April　5th。_　A　letter　from　Alfred；　announcing　his　wedding　by　special　license　for　the　11th。

〃Made　no　reply。　What　_could_　I　say？

〃Papa；　on　my　reading　it　out　left　his　very　breakfast　half　finished；　and　packed　up　his　bag　and　rushed　up　to　London。　I　caught　a　side　view　of　his　face；　and　I　am　miserable。　Such　a　new；　such　a　terrible　expression！　a　vile　expression！　Heaven　forgive　me；　it　seemed　the　look　of　one　who　meditated　a　_crime。_〃



CHAPTER　XXIX

THE　spirit　of　dissension　in　Musgrove　Cottage　penetrated　to　the　very　kitchen。　Old　Betty　sided　with　Alfred；　and　combated　in　her　place　the　creed　of　the　parlour：　〃Why；　according　to　Miss；　the　young　sparrows　are　bound　never　to　fly　out　of　the　nest；　or　else　have　the　Bible　flung　at　'em。　She　do　go　on　about　God's　will：　seems　to　me　'tis　His　will　the　world　should　be　peopled　by　body　and　beastwhich　they　are　both　His　creaturesand；　by　the　same　toaken；　if　they　don't　marry　they　does　wus。　Certainly　whilst　a　young　man　bides　at　home；　it　behoves　him　to　be　dutiful；　but　that　ain't　to　say　he　_is_　to　bide　at　home　for　ever。　Master　Alfred's　time　is　come　to　leave　we；　and　be　master　in　a　hou