hard cash-第110节

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s　into　oblivion；　and　be　forgotten。　In　short；　the　_'Tiser_　paid　him　in　one　column；　for　years　of　devotion。　Now　Edward；　of　course；　was　going　to　relate　his　adventure；　but　the　journal　told　it　so　gloriously；　he　hesitated　to　say；　〃I　did　all　that。〃　He　just　sat　and　stared；　and　wondered；　and　blushed；　and　grinned　like　an　imbecile。

Unfortunately　looks　seldom　escaped　the　Doddesses。　〃What　is　that　for？〃　inquired　Julia　reproachfully。　〃Is　that　sheepish　face　the　thing　to　wear　when　a　sister　is　reading　out　an　heroic　action？　Ah；　these　are　the　things　that　make　one　long　to　be　a　man；　to　do　them。　What　are　you　thinking　about；　dear？〃

〃Well；　I　am　thinking　the　_'Tiser_　is　pitching　it　rather　strong。〃

〃My　love；　what　an　expression！〃

〃Well；　then；　to　be　honest；　I　agree　with　you　that　it　is　a　jolly　thing　to　fight　with　fire　and　save　men's　lives；　and　I　am　glad　you　see　it　in　that　light；　for　now　you　will　approve　the　step　I　have　taken。　Ladies；　I　have　put　myself　in　the　way　of　doing　this　sort　of　thing　every　week　of　my　life。　I'm　a　fireman。〃

〃You　are　jesting；　I　trust？〃　said　Mrs。　Dodd　anxiously。

〃No；　mamma。　I　got　the　place　late　last　night；　and　I'm　to　enter　on　my　duties　and　put　on　the　livery　next　Monday。　Hurrah！〃

Instantly　the　admirers　of　fiery　heroes　at　a　distance　overflowed　with　grief　and　mortification　at　the　prospect　of　one　in　their　own　family。　They　could　not　speak　at　all　at　first：　and；　when　they　did；　it　was　only　〃Cruel！　cruel！〃　from　Julia；　and　〃Our　humiliation　is　now　complete；〃　from　Mrs。　Dodd。

They　soon　dashed　Edward's　spirits；　and　made　him　unhappy；　but　they　could　not　convince　him　he　had　done　wrong。　However；　in　the　heat　of　remonstrance；　they　let　out　at　last　that　they　had　just　begun　to　hope　by　dint　of　scissors　and　paint…brush　to　send　him　back　to　Oxford。　He　also　detected；　under　a　cloud　of　tender；　loving；　soothing；　coaxing　and　equivocating　expressions；　their　idea　of　a　Man：　to　wit；　a　tall；　strong；　ornamental　creature；　whom　the　women　were　to　cocker　up；　and　pet；　and　slave　for；　and　be　rewarded　by　basking；　dead　tired；　in　an　imperial　smile　or　two　let　fall　by　their　sovereign　_protege_　from　his　arm…chair。　And；　in　fact；　good　women　have　often　demoralised　their　idols　down　to　the　dirt　by　this　process；　to　be　sure　their　idols　were　sorryish　clay；　to　begin。

Edward　was　anything　but　flowery；　so　he　paraded　no　manly　sentiments　in　reply；　he　just　bluntly　ridiculed　the　idea　of　his　consenting　to　prey　on　them；　and　he　said　humbly；　〃I　know　I　can't　contribute　as　much　to　our　living　as　you　two　canthe　petticoats　carry　the　brains　in　our　familybut；　be　a　burden　to　you？　Not　if　I　know　it。〃

〃Pride！　pride！　pride！〃　objected　Julia；　lifting　her　grand　violet　orbs　like　a　pensive　Madonna。

〃And　such　pride！　The　pride　that　falls　into　a　fire…bucket；〃　suggested　prosaic　mamma。

〃That　is　cutting；〃　said　Edward：　〃but；　_soyons　de　notre　siecle；_　flunkeyism　is　on　the　decline。　I'll　give　you　something　to　put　in　both　your　pipes：

　　　　'Honour　and　rank　from　no　condition　rise。　　　　　　Act　well　thy　part；　in　that　the　honour　lies。'〃

〃Yes；　yes；〃　said　Mrs。　Dodd；　〃only　first　choose　your　part；　and　let　your　choice　be　reasonable。〃

〃Mine　was　Hobson's；　and　he　never　chooses　wrong。　Come；　come；〃　said　he；　and　appealed　calmly　to　their　reason；　by　which　means　he　made　no　impression　at　all。　Then　he　happened　to　say；　〃Besides；　I　must　do　something。　I　own　to　you　I　am　more　cast　down　than　I　choose　to　show。　Mother；　I　feel　like　lead　ever　since　she　died。〃　Now　on　this；　their　faces　filled　with　sympathy　directly。　So　encouraged　he　went　on　to　say：　〃But　when　I　got　my　hand　on　that　old　duffer's　collar；　and　lowered　him　to　the　ladder；　and　the　fire　shot　roaring　out　of　the　window　after　him；　too　late　to　eat　him；　and　the　crowd　cheered　the　fireman　and　me；　I　did　feel　warm　about　the　waistcoat；　and；　for　the　first　time　this　ever　so　long；　life　seemed　not　quite　ended。　I　felt　there　was　a　little　bit　of　good　left；　that　even　a　poor　dunce　like　me　could　do；　and　she　could　approveif　she　can　look　down　and　see　me；　as　I　hope　she　can。〃

〃There；　there；〃　said　Mrs。　Dodd　tearfully；　〃I　am　disarmed；　But；　my　darling；　I　do　not　know　what　you　are　talking　about：　Stay；　why；　Edward；　surelyI　hopeyou　were　not　the　young　gentleman　in　the　paper；　the　one　that　risked　his　life　so　nobly；　so　foolishlyif　it　was　you。

〃Why；　mother；　didn't　I　tell　you　it　was　me？〃　said　Edward；　colouring。

〃No；　that　you　did　not；〃　said　Julia。　〃Was　it？　was　it？　oh　do　be　quick　and　tell　one。　There；　it　was。〃

〃Well；　it　was：　ah；　I　remember　now；　that　splendiferous　account　shut　me　up。　Oh；　I　say；　didn't　the　_'Tiser_　pitch　it　strong？〃

〃Not　at　all；〃　cried　Julia；　〃I　believe　every　word；　and　ever　so　much　more。　Mamma；　we　have　got　a　hero；　and　here　he　is　at　breakfast　with　us；　like　an　ordinary　mortal。〃　She　rose　suddenly　with　a　burst　of　her　old　fire　and　fell　upon　him　and　kissed　him；　and　said　earnestly　how　proud　she　was　of　him；　〃And　so　is　mamma。　She　may　say　what　she　likes。〃

〃Proud　of　him！　ah；　that　I　am；　very　proud；　and　very　unhappy。　_Heroes　are　my　horror。_　How　often；　and　how　earnestly　have　I　prayed　that　my　son　might　not　be　brave　like　his　father；　but　stay　quietly　at　home　out　of　harm's　way。〃

Here　remonstrance　ended；　the　members　of　this　family；　happy　by　nature；　though　unhappy　by　accident；　all　knew　when　to　yield　to　each　other。


Unfortunately；　in　proportion　as　all　these　excitements　great　and　small　died；　and　her　life　became　quiet　and　uniform；　the　depth　of　Julia's　wound　showed　itself　more　and　more。　She　never　sang　nor　hummed；　as　she　used　to　do；　going　about　the　house。　She　never　laughed。　She　did　burst　out　with　fervid　sentiments　now　and　then；　but　very　rarely；　on　the　whole；　a　pensive　languor　took　the　place　of　her　lovely　impetuosity。　Tears　rushed　in　a　moment　to　her　eyes　with　no　visible　cause。　She　often　stole　to　the　window；　and　looked　all　up　and　down　the　street；　and　when　she　was　out　of　doors；　she　looked　down　every　side　street　she　passed；　and　sometimes；　when　a　quick　light　step　came　behind　them；　or　she　saw　a　tall　young　gentleman　at　a　great　distance；　her　hand　twitched　her　mother's　arm　or　trembled　on　it。　And；　always；　when　they　came　home；　she　lingered　a　moment　at　the　door…step　and　looked　all　round　before　she　went　in。

At　all　these　signs　one　half　of　Mrs。　Dodd's　heart　used　to　boil　with　indignation；　and　the　other　half　melt　with　pity。　For　she　saw　her　daughter　was　looking　for　〃the　Wretch。〃　Indeed　Mrs。　Dodd　began　to　fear　she　had　done　unwisely　in　ignoring　〃the　Wretch。〃　Julia's　thoughts　dwelt　on　him　none　the　less；　indeed　all　the　more　as　it　seemed；　so　the　topic　interdicted　by　tacit　consent　bade　fair　to　become　a　barrier　between　her　and　Mrs。　Dodd；　hitherto　her　bosom　friend　as　well　as　her　mother。　This　was　intolerable　to　poor　Mrs。　Dodd：　and　at　last　she　said　one　day；　〃My　darling；　do　not　be　afraid　of　me；　rob　me　of　your　happy　thoughts　if　you　will；　but　oh；　not　of　your　sad　ones。〃

Julia　began　to　cry　directly。　〃Oh　no；　mamma；〃　she　sobbed；　〃do　not　you　encourage　me　in　my　folly。　I　know　I　have　thrown　away　my　affections　on　one　whoI　shall　never　see　him　again：　shall　I；　mamma？　Oh；　to　think　I　can　say　those　words；　and　yet　go　living　on。〃

Mrs。　Dodd　sighed。　〃And　if　you　saw　him；　would　that　mend　the　chain　he　has　chosen　to　break？〃

〃I　don't　know；　but　if　I　could　only　see　him　to　part　friends！　It　is　cruel　to　hate　him　now　he　has　lost　his　sister；　and　then　I　have　got　her　message　to　give　him。　And　I　want　to　ask　him　why　he　was　afraid　of　me：　why　he　could　not　tell　me　he　had　altered　his　mind：　did　he　think　I　wanted　to　have　him　against　his　will？　Oh；　mamma；〃　said　she　imploringly；　〃he　seemed　to　love　me；　he　seemed　all　truth。　I　am　a　poor　unfortunate　girl。〃

Mrs。　Dodd　had　only　caresses　to　soothe　her　with。　She　could　not　hold　out　any　hopes。

One　day　Julia　asked　her　timidly　if　she　might　be　a　district　visitor：　〃My　dear　friend　was；　and　advised　me　to　be　one　too；　but　I　was　wilful　in　those　days　and　chose　to　visit　by　fits　and　starts；　and　be　independent。　I　am　humbled　now　a　little：　may　I；　mamma？　Since　she　died　every　word　of　hers　seems　a　law　to　me。〃

Mrs。　Dodd　assented　cordially；　as　she　would　to　anything　else　her　wounded　one　had　proposed。

This　project　brought　Julia　into　communication　with　the　new　curate；　and　who　should　it　prove　to　be　but　Mr。　Hurd？　At　sight　of　him　she　turned　white　and　red；　and　the　whole　scene　in　the　church　came　back　to　her。　But　Mr。　Hurd　showed　considerable　tact　for　so　young　a　man；　he　spoke　to　her　in　accents　of　deep　respect；　but　confined　his　remarks　strictly　to　the　matter　in　hand。　She　told　her　mother　when　she　got　home；　and　expressed　her　gratitude　to　Mr。　Hurd；　but　said　she　wished　they　did　not　live　in　the　same　parish　with　him。　This　feeling；　however；　wore　off　by　degrees；　as　her　self…imposed　duties　brought　her　more　and　more　into　contact　with　him；　and　showed　her　his　good　qualities。

As　for　Mr。　Hurd；　he　saw　and　understood　her　vivid　emotion　at　sight　of　him；　saw　and　pitied；　not　without　wonder　that　so　beautiful　a　creature　should　have　been　jilted。　And　from　the　first　he　marked　his　sense　of　Alfred's　conduct　by　showing　her　a　profound　and　chivalrous　respect　which　he　did　not　bestow　on　other　young　ladies　in　his　parish；　on　the　contrary；　he　rather　received　homage　from　them　than　bestowed　it。　By…and…bye　he　saw　Julia　suppress　if　not　hide　her　own　sorrow；　and　go　sore…hearted　day　by　day　to　comfort　the　poor　and　afflicted：　he　admired　and　almost　venerated　her　for　this。　He　called　often　on