the monk(僧侣)-第11节

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and　for　the　Husband's　sake　She　doted　upon　the　Wife。　　One　morning
She　found　means　to　escape　from　our　Father's　House：　　Arrayed　in
humble　weeds　She　offered　herself　as　a　Domestic　to　the　Consort　of
her　Beloved；　and　was　accepted。　　She　was　now　continually　in　his
presence：　　She　strove　to　ingratiate　herself　into　his　favour：　　She
succeeded。　　Her　attentions　attracted　Julian's　notice；　　The
virtuous　are　ever　grateful；　and　He　distinguished　Matilda　above
the　rest　of　her　Companions。'

'And　did　not　your　Parents　seek　for　her？　　Did　they　submit　tamely
to　their　loss；　nor　attempt　to　recover　their　wandering　Daughter？'

'Ere　they　could　find　her；　She　discovered　herself。　　Her　love　grew
too　violent　for　concealment；　Yet　She　wished　not　for　Julian's
person；　She　ambitioned　but　a　share　of　his　heart。　　In　an　unguarded
moment　She　confessed　her　affection。　　What　was　the　return？　
Doating　upon　his　Wife；　and　believing　that　a　look　of　pity　bestowed
upon　another　was　a　theft　from　what　He　owed　to　her；　He　drove
Matilda　from　his　presence。　　He　forbad　her　ever　again　appearing
before　him。　　His　severity　broke　her　heart：　　She　returned　to　her
Father's；　and　in　a　few　Months　after　was　carried　to　her　Grave。'

'Unhappy　Girl！　　Surely　her　fate　was　too　severe；　and　Julian　was
too　cruel。'

'Do　you　think　so；　Father？'　cried　the　Novice　with　vivacity；　'Do
you　think　that　He　was　cruel？'

'Doubtless　I　do；　and　pity　her　most　sincerely。'

'You　pity　her？　　You　pity　her？　　Oh！　　Father！　　Father！　Then　pity
me！'

The　Friar　started；　when　after　a　moment's　pause　Rosario　added　with
a　faltering　voice；'for　my　sufferings　are　still　greater。　　My
Sister　had　a　Friend；　a　real　Friend；　who　pitied　the　acuteness　of
her　feelings；　nor　reproached　her　with　her　inability　to　repress
them。　　I　。　。　。！　　I　have　no　Friend！　　The　whole　wide　world　cannot
furnish　an　heart　that　is　willing　to　participate　in　the　sorrows
of　mine！'

As　He　uttered　these　words；　He　sobbed　audibly。　　The　Friar　was
affected。　　He　took　Rosario's　hand；　and　pressed　it　with
tenderness。

'You　have　no　Friend；　say　you？　　What　then　am　I？　　Why　will　you　not
confide　in　me；　and　what　can　you　fear？　　My　severity？　　Have　I　ever
used　it　with　you？　　The　dignity　of　my　habit？　　Rosario；　I　lay　aside
the　Monk；　and　bid　you　consider　me　as　no　other　than　your　Friend；
your　Father。　　Well　may　I　assume　that　title；　for　never　did　Parent
watch　over　a　Child　more　fondly　than　I　have　watched　over　you。　
From　the　moment　in　which　I　first　beheld　you；　I　perceived
sensations　in　my　bosom　till　then　unknown　to　me；　I　found　a
delight　in　your　society　which　no　one's　else　could　afford；　and
when　I　witnessed　the　extent　of　your　genius　and　information；　I
rejoiced　as　does　a　Father　in　the　perfections　of　his　Son。　　Then
lay　aside　your　fears；　Speak　to　me　with　openness：　　Speak　to　me；
Rosario；　and　say　that　you　will　confide　in　me。　　If　my　aid　or　my
pity　can　alleviate　your　distress。　。　。　。'

'Yours　can！　　Yours　only　can！　　Ah！　　Father；　how　willingly　would　I
unveil　to　you　my　heart！　　How　willingly　would　I　declare　the
secret　which　bows　me　down　with　its　weight！　But　Oh！　　I　fear！　　I
fear！'

'What；　my　Son？'

'That　you　should　abhor　me　for　my　weakness；　That　the　reward　of　my
confidence　should　be　the　loss　of　your　esteem。'

'How　shall　I　reassure　you？　　Reflect　upon　the　whole　of　my　past
conduct；　upon　the　paternal　tenderness　which　I　have　ever　shown
you。　　Abhor　you；　Rosario？　　It　is　no　longer　in　my　power。　　To　give
up　your　society　would　be　to　deprive　myself　of　the　greatest
pleasure　of　my　life。　　Then　reveal　to　me　what　afflicts　you；　and
believe　me　while　I　solemnly　swear。　。　。　。'

'Hold！'　interrupted　the　Novice；　'Swear；　that　whatever　be　my
secret；　you　will　not　oblige　me　to　quit　the　Monastery　till　my
Noviciate　shall　expire。'

'I　promise　it　faithfully；　and　as　I　keep　my　vows　to　you；　may
Christ　keep　his　to　Mankind。　　Now　then　explain　this　mystery；　and
rely　upon　my　indulgence。'

'I　obey　you。　　Know　then。　。　。　。　　Oh！　how　I　tremble　to　name　the
word！　　Listen　to　me　with　pity；　revered　Ambrosio！　　Call　up　every
latent　spark　of　human　weakness　that　may　teach　you　compassion　for
mine！　　Father！'　continued　He　throwing　himself　at　the　Friar's
feet；　and　pressing　his　hand　to　his　lips　with　eagerness；　while
agitation　for　a　moment　choaked　his　voice；　'Father！'　continued　He
in　faltering　accents；　'I　am　a　Woman！'

The　Abbot　started　at　this　unexpected　avowal。　Prostrate　on　the
ground　lay　the　feigned　Rosario；　as　if　waiting　in　silence　the
decision　of　his　Judge。　　Astonishment　on　the　one　part；
apprehension　on　the　other；　for　some　minutes　chained　them　in　the
same　attitudes；　as　had　they　been　touched　by　the　Rod　of　some
Magician。　　At　length　recovering　from　his　confusion；　the　Monk
quitted　the　Grotto；　and　sped　with　precipitation　towards　the
Abbey。　　His　action　did　not　escape　the　Suppliant。　　She　sprang　from
the　ground；　She　hastened　to　follow　him；　overtook　him；　threw
herself　in　his　passage；　and　embraced　his　knees。　　Ambrosio　strove
in　vain　to　disengage　himself　from　her　grasp。

'Do　not　fly　me！'　She　cried；　'Leave　me　not　abandoned　to　the
impulse　of　despair！　　Listen；　while　I　excuse　my　imprudence；　while
I　acknowledge　my　Sister's　story　to　be　my　own！　　I　am　Matilda；　You
are　her　Beloved。'

If　Ambrosio's　surprise　was　great　at　her　first　avowal；　upon
hearing　her　second　it　exceeded　all　bounds。　　Amazed；　embarrassed；
and　irresolute　He　found　himself　incapable　of　pronouncing　a
syllable；　and　remained　in　silence　gazing　upon　Matilda：　　This　gave
her　opportunity　to　continue　her　explanation　as　follows。

'Think　not；　Ambrosio；　that　I　come　to　rob　your　Bride　of　your
affections。　　No；　believe　me：　　Religion　alone　deserves　you；　and
far　is　it　from　Matilda's　wish　to　draw　you　from　the　paths　of
virtue。　　What　I　feel　for　you　is　love；　not　licentiousness；　I　sigh
to　be　possessor　of　your　heart；　not　lust　for　the　enjoyment　of　your
person。　　Deign　to　listen　to　my　vindication：　　A　few　moments　will
convince　you　that　this　holy　retreat　is　not　polluted　by　my
presence；　and　that　you　may　grant　me　your　compassion　without
trespassing　against　your　vows。'She　seated　herself：　　Ambrosio；
scarcely　conscious　of　what　He　did；　followed　her　example；　and　She
proceeded　in　her　discourse。

'I　spring　from　a　distinguished　family：　　My　Father　was　Chief　of
the　noble　House　of　Villanegas。　　He　died　while　I　was　still　an
Infant；　and　left　me　sole　Heiress　of　his　immense　possessions。　
Young　and　wealthy；　I　was　sought　in　marriage　by　the　noblest　Youths
of　Madrid；　But　no　one　succeeded　in　gaining　my　affections。　　I　had
been　brought　up　under　the　care　of　an　Uncle　possessed　of　the　most
solid　judgment　and　extensive　erudition。　　He　took　pleasure　in
communicating　to　me　some　portion　of　his　knowledge。　　Under　his
instructions　my　understanding　acquired　more　strength　and
justness　than　generally　falls　to　the　lot　of　my　sex：　　The　ability
of　my　Preceptor　being　aided　by　natural　curiosity；　I　not　only　made
a　considerable　progress　in　sciences　universally　studied；　but　in
others；　revealed　but　to　few；　and　lying　under　censure　from　the
blindness　of　superstition。　　But　while　my　Guardian　laboured　to
enlarge　the　sphere　of　my　knowledge；　He　carefully　inculcated　every
moral　precept：　　He　relieved　me　from　the　shackles　of　vulgar
prejudice；　He　pointed　out　the　beauty　of　Religion；　He　taught　me　to
look　with　adoration　upon　the　pure　and　virtuous；　and；　woe　is　me！　
I　have　obeyed　him　but　too　well！

'With　such　dispositions；　Judge　whether　I　could　observe　with　any
other　sentiment　than　disgust　the　vice；　dissipation；　and
ignorance；　which　disgrace　our　Spanish　Youth。　　I　rejected　every
offer　with　disdain。　　My　heart　remained　without　a　Master　till
chance　conducted　me　to　the　Cathedral　of　the　Capuchins。　　Oh！
surely　on　that　day　my　Guardian　Angel　slumbered　neglectful　of　his
charge！　　Then　was　it　that　I　first　beheld　you：　　You　supplied　the
Superior's　place；　absent　from　illness。　　You　cannot　but　remember
the　lively　enthusiasm　which　your　discourse　created。　　Oh！　how　I
drank　your　words！　　How　your　eloquence　seemed　to　steal　me　from
myself！　　I　scarcely　dared　to　breathe；　fearing　to　lose　a　syllable；
and　while　you　spoke；　Methought　a　radiant　glory　beamed　round　your
head；　and　your　countenance　shone　with　the　majesty　of　a　God。　　I
retired　from　the　Church；　glowing　with　admiration。　　From　that
moment　you　became　the　idol　of　my　heart；　the　never…changing　object
of　my　Meditations。　　I　enquired　respecting　you。　　The　reports　which
were　made　me　of　your　mode　of　life；　of　your　knowledge；　piety；　and
self…denial　riveted　the　chains　imposed　on　me　by　your　eloquence。　
I　was　conscious　that　there　was　no　longer　a　void　in　my　heart；　That
I　had　found　the　Man　whom　I　had　sought　till　then　in　vain。　　In
expectation　of　hearing　you　again；　every　day　I　visited　your
Cathedral：　　You　remained　secluded　within　the　Abbey　walls；　and　I
always　withdrew；　wretched　and　disappointed。　　The　Night　was　more
propitious　to　me；　for　then　you　stood　before　me　in　my　dreams；　You
vowed　to　me　eternal　friendship；　You　led　me　through　the　paths　of
virtue；　and　assisted　me　to　support　the　vexations　of　life。　　The
Morning　dispelled　these　pleasing　visions；　I　woke；　and　found
myself　separated　from　you　by　Barriers　which　appeared
insurmountable。　　Time　seemed　only　to　increase　the　strength　of　my
passion：　　I　grew　melancholy　and　despondent；　I　fled　from　society；
and　my　health　declined　d