the book of snobs-第7节

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！



are　paid；　my　lady's　income　has　dwindled　away　to　a　very

small　sum；　and　she　is　as　poor　as　you　or　I。



You　would　not　think　it　when　you　saw　her　big　carriage

rattling　up　to　the　drawing…room；　and　caught　a　glimpse　of

her　plumes；　lappets；　and　diamonds；　waving　over　her

ladyship's　sandy　hair　and　majestical　hooked　nose；you

would　not　think　it　when　you　hear　'Lady　Susan　Scraper's

carriage'　bawled　out　at　midnight　so　as　to　disturb　all

Belgravia：you　would　not　think　it　when　she　comes

rustling　into　church；　the　obsequious　John　behind　with　the

bag　of　Prayer…books。　　Is　it　possible；　you　would　say；　that

so　grand　and　awful　a　personage　as　that　can　be　hard…up　for

money？　　Alas！　　So　it　is。



She　never　heard　such　a　word　as　Snob；　I　will　engage；　in

this　wicked　and　vulgar　world。　　And；　O　stars　and　garters！

how　she　would　start　if　she　heard　that　sheshe；　as　solemn

as　Minervashe；　as　chaste　as　Diana　（without　that　heathen

goddess's　unladylike　propensity　for　field…sports）that

she　too　was　a　Snob！



A　Snob　she　is；　as　long　as　she　sets　that　prodigious　value

upon　herself；　upon　her　name；　upon　her　outward　appearance；

and　indulges　in　that　intolerable　pomposity；　as　long　as

she　goes　parading　abroad；　like　Solomon　in　all　his　glory；

as　long　as　she　goes　to　bedas　I　believe　she　doeswith　a

turban　and　a　bird　of　paradise　in　it；　and　a　court　train　to

her　night…gown；　as　long　as　she　is　so　insufferably

virtuous　and　condescending；　as　long　as　she　does　not　cut

at　least　one　of　those　footmen　down　into　mutton…chops　for

the　benefit　of　the　young　ladies。



I　had　my　notions　of　her　from　my　old　schoolfellow；her

son　Sydney　Scrapera　Chancery　barrister　without　any

practicethe　most　placid；　polite；　and　genteel　of　Snobs；

who　never　exceeded　his　allowance　of　two　hundred　a　year；

and　who　may　be　seen　any　evening　at　the　'Oxford　and

Cambridge　Club；'　simpering　over　the　QUARTERLY　REVIEW；　in

the　blameless　enjoyment　of　his　half…pint　of　port。







CHAPTER　VII



ON　SOME　RESPECTABLE　SNOBS



Look　at　the　next　house　to　Lady　Susan　Scraper's。　　The

first　mansion　with　the　awning　over　the　door：　that　canopy

will　be　let　down　this　evening　for　the　comfort　of　the

friends　of　Sir　Alured　and　Lady　S。　de　Mogyns；　whose

parties　are　so　much　admired　by　the　public；　and　the　givers

themselves。




Peach…coloured　liveries　laced　with　silver；　and　pea…green

plush　inexpressibles；　render　the　De　Mogyns'　flunkeys　the

pride　of　the　ring　when　they　appear　in　Hyde　Park　where

Lady　de　Mogyns；　as　she　sits　upon　her　satin　cushions；　with

her　dwarf　spaniel　in　her　arms；　bows　to　the　very　selectest

of　the　genteel。　　Times　are　altered　now　with　Mary　Anne；

or；　as　she　calls　herself；　Marian　de　Mogyns。



She　was　the　daughter　of　Captain　Flack　of　the　Rathdrum

Fencibles；　who　crossed　with　his　regiment　over　from

Ireland　to　Caermarthenshire　ever　so　many　years　ago；　and

defended　Wales　from　the　Corsican　invader。　　The　Rathdrums

were　quartered　at　Pontydwdlm；　where　Marian　wooed　and　won

her　De　Mogyns；　a　young　banker　in　the　place。　　His

attentions　to　Miss　Flack　at　a　race　ball　were　such　that

her　father　said　De　Mogyns　must　either　die　on　the　field　of

honour；　or　become　his　son…in…law。　　He　preferred　marriage。

His　name　was　Muggins　then；　and　his　fathera　flourishing

banker；　army…contractor；　smuggler；　and　general　jobber

almost　disinherited　him　on　account　of　this　connection。



There　is　a　story　that　Muggins　the　Elder　was　made　a

baronet　for　having　lent　money　to　a　R…y…l　p…rs…n…ge。　　I　do

not　believe　it。　　The　R…y…l　Family　always　paid　their

debts；　from　the　Prince　of　Wales　downwards。



Howbeit；　to　his　life's　end　he　remained　simple　Sir　Thomas

Muggins；　representing　Pontydwdlm　in　Parliament　for　many

years　after　the　war。　　The　old　banker　died　in　course　of

time；　and　to　use　the　affectionate　phrase　common　on　such

occasions；　'cut　up'　prodigiously　well。　　His　son；　Alfred

Smith　Mogyns；　succeeded　to　the　main　portion　of　his

wealth；　and　to　his　titles　and　the　bloody　hand　of　his

scutcheon。　　It　was　not　for　many　years　after　that　he

appeared　as　Sir　Alured　Mogyns　Smyth　de　Mogyns；　with　a

genealogy　found　out　for　him　by　the　Editor　of　'Fluke's

Peerage；'　and　which　appears　as　follows　in　that　work：…　'De

Mogyns。Sir　Alured　Mogyns　Smyth；　Second　Baronet。　　This

gentleman　is　a　representative　of　one　of　the　most　ancient

families　of　Wales；　who　trace　their　descent　until　it　is

lost　in　the　mists　of　antiquity。　　A　genealogical　tree

beginning　with　Shem　is　in　the　possession　of　the　family；

and　is　stated　by　a　legend　of　many　thousand　years'　date　to

have　been　drawn　on　papyrus　by　a　grandson　of　the　patriarch

himself。　　Be　this　as　it　may；　there　can　be　no　doubt　of　the

immense　antiquity　of　the　race　of　Mogyns。



'In　the　time　of　Boadicea；　Hogyn　Mogyn；　of　the　hundred

Beeves；　was　a　suitor　and　a　rival　of　Caractacus　for　the

hand　of　that　Princess。　　He　was　a　person　gigantic　in

stature；　and　was　slain　by　Suetonius　in　the　battle　which

terminated　the　liberties　of　Britain。　　From　him　descended

directly　the　Princes　of　Pontydwdlm；　Mogyn　of　the　Golden

Harp　（see　the　Mabinogion　of　Lady　Charlotte　Guest；）　Bogyn…

Merodac…ap…Mogyn；　（the　black　fiend　son　of　Mogyn；）　and　a

long　list　of　bards　and　warriors；　celebrated　both　in　Wales

and　Armorica。　　The　independent　Princes　of　Mogyn　long　held

out　against　the　ruthless　Kings　of　England；　until　finally

Gam　Mogyns　made　his　submission　to　Prince　Henry；　son　of

Henry　IV。；　and　under　the　name　of　Sir　David　Gam　de　Mogyns；

was　distinguished　at　the　battle　of　Agincourt。



》From　him　the　present　Baronet　is　descended。　（And　here　the

descent　follows　in　order　until　it　comes　to）　Thomas

Muggins；　first　Baronet　of　Pontydwdlm　Castle；　for　23　years

Member　of　Parliament　for　that　borough；　who　had　issue；

Alured　Mogyns　Smyth；　the　present　Baronet；　who　married

Marian；　daughter　of　the　late　general　P。　Flack；　of

Ballyflack；　in　the　Kingdom　of　Ireland　of　the　Counts　Flack

of　the　H。　R。　Empire。　　Sir　Alured　has　issue；　Alured

Caradoc；　born　1819；　Marian；　1811；　Blanche　Adeliza；　Emily

Doria；　Adelaide　Obleans；　Katinka　Rostopchin；　Patrick

Flack；　died　1809。



'Armsa　mullion　garbled；　gules　on　a　saltire　reversed　of

the　second。　　Cresta　tom…tit　rampant　regardant。　　Motto

UNG　ROY　UNG　MOGYNS。'



It　was　long　before　Lady　de　Mogyns　shone　as　a　star　in　the

fashionable　world。　　At　first；　poor　Muggins　was　the　in　the

hands　of　the　Flacks；　the　Clancys；　the　Tooles；　the

Shanahans；　his　wife's　Irish　relations；　and　whilst　he　was

yet　but　heir…apparent；　his　house　overflowed　with　claret

and　the　national　nectar；　for　the　benefit　of　Hibernian

relatives。　　Tom　Tufto　absolutely　left　the　street　in　which

they　lived　in　London；　because　he　said　'it　was　infected

with　such　a　confounded　smell　of　whisky　from　the　house　of

those　IWISH　people。'



It　was　abroad　that　they　learned　to　be　genteel。　　They

pushed　into　all　foreign　courts；　and　elbowed　their　way

into　the　halls　of　Ambassadors。　　They　pounced　upon　the

stray　nobility；　and　seized　young　lords　travelling　with

their　bear…leaders。　　They　gave　parties　at　Naples；　Rome；

and　Paris。　　They　got　a　Royal　Prince　to　attend　their

SOIREES　at　the　latter　place；　and　it　was　here　that　they

first　appeared　under　the　name　of　De　Mogyns；　which　they

bear　with　such　splendour　to　this　day。



All　sorts　of　stories　are　told　of　the　desperate　efforts

made　by　the　indomitable　Lady　de　Mogyns　to　gain　the　place

she　now　occupies；　and　those　of　my　beloved　readers　who

live　in　middle　life；　and　are　unacquainted　with　the

frantic　struggles；　the　wicked　feuds；　the　intrigues；

cabals；　and　disappointments　which；　as　I　am　given　to

understand；　reign　in　the　fashionable　world；　may　bless

their　stars　that　they　at　least　are　not　FASHIONABLE　Snobs。

The　intrigues　set　afoot　by　the　De　Mogyns　to　get　the

Duchess　of　Buckskin　to　her　parties；　would　strike　a

Talleyrand　with　admiration。　　She　had　a　brain　fever　after

being　disappointed　of　an　invitation　to　Lady

Aldermanbury's　THE　DANSANT；　and　would　have　committed

suicide　but　for　a　ball　at　Windsor。　　I　have　the　following

story　from　my　noble　friend　Lady　Clapperclaw　herself；

Lady　Kathleen　O'Shaughnessy　that　was；　and　daughter　of　the

Earl　of　Turfanthunder：…



'When　that　odious　disguised　Irishwoman；　Lady　Muggins；　was

struggling　to　take　her　place　in　the　world；　and　was

bringing　out　her　hidjous　daughter　Blanche；'　said　old　Lady

Clapperclaw'Marian　has　a　hump…back　and　doesn't　show；

but　she's　the　only　lady　in　the　family）when　that

wretched　Polly　Muggins　was　bringing　out　Blanche；　with　her

radish　of　a　nose；　and　her　carrots　of　ringlets；　and　her

turnip　for　a　face；　she　was　most　anxiousas　her　father

had　been　a　cowboy　on　my　father's　landto　be　patronized

by　us；　and　asked　me　point…blank；　in　the　midst　of　a

silence　at　Count　Volauvent's；　the　French　Ambassador's

dinner；　why　I　had　not　sent　her　a　card　for　my　ball？



'〃Because　my　rooms　are　already　too　full；　and　your

ladyship　would　be　crowded　inconveniently；〃　says　I；　indeed

she　takes　up　as　much　room　as　an　elephant：　besides　I

wouldn't　have　her；　and　that　was　flat。



'I