the book of snobs-第21节

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amazing　and　indomitable　insular　pride；　which　animates　my

lord　in　his　travelling…carriage　as　well　as　John　in　the

rumble。



If　you　read　the　old　Chronicles　of　the　French　wars；　you

find　precisely　the　same　character　of　the　Englishman；　and

Henry　V。's　people　behaved　with　just　the　cool　domineering

manner　of　our　gallant　veterans　of　France　and　the

Peninsula。　　Did　you　never　hear　Colonel　Cutler　and　Major

Slasher　talking　over　the　war　after　dinner？　or　Captain

Boarder　describing　his　action　with　the　'Indomptable？'

'Hang　the　fellows；'　says　Boarder；　'their　practice　was

very　good。　　I　was　beat　off　three　times　before　I　took

her。'　　'Cuss　those　carabineers　of　Milhaud's；'　says

Slasher；　'what　work　they　made　of　our　light　cavalry！'

implying　a　sort　of　surprise　that　the　Frenchman　should

stand　up　against　Britons　at　all：　a　good…natured　wonder

that　the　blind；　mad；　vain…glorious；　brave　poor　devils

should　actually　have　the　courage　to　resist　an　Englishman。

Legions　of　such　Englishmen　are　patronizing　Europe　at　this

moment；　being　kind　to　the　Pope；　or　good…natured　to　the

King　of　Holland；　or　condescending　to　inspect　the　Prussian

reviews。　　When　Nicholas　came　here；　who　reviews　a　quarter

of　a　million　of　pairs　of　moustaches　to　his　breakfast

every　morning；　we　took　him　off　to　Windsor　and　showed　him

two　whole　regiments　of　six　or　eight　hundred　Britons　a…

piece；　with　an　air　as　much　as　to　say；'There；　my　boy；

look　at　THAT。　　Those　are　ENGLISHMEN；　those　are；　and　your

master　whenever　you　please；'　as　the　nursery　song　says。

The　British　Snob　is　long；　long　past　scepticism；　and　can

afford　to　laugh　quite　good…humouredly　at　those　conceited

Yankees；　or　besotted　little　Frenchmen；　who　set　up　as

models　of　mankind。　　THEY　forsooth！



I　have　been　led　into　these　remarks　by　listening　to　an　old

fellow　at　the　Hotel　du　Nord；　at　Boulogne；　and　who　is

evidently　of　the　Slasher　sort。　　He　came　down　and　seated

himself　at　the　breakfast…table；　with　a　surly　scowl　on　his

salmon…coloured　bloodshot　face；　strangling　in　a　tight；

cross…barred　cravat；　his　linen　and　his　appointments　so

perfectly　stiff　and　spotless　that　everybody　at　once

recognized　him　as　a　dear　countryman。　　Only　our　port…wine

and　other　admirable　institutions　could　have　produced　a

figure　so　insolent；　so　stupid；　so　gentleman…like。　　After

a　while　our　attention　was　called　to　him　by　his　roaring

out；　in　a　voice　of　plethoric　fury；　'O！'



Everybody　turned　round　at　the　'O；'　conceiving　the　Colonel

to　be；　as　his　countenance　denoted　him；　in　intense　pain；

but　the　waiters　knew　better；　and　instead　of　being

alarmed；　brought　the　Colonel　the　kettle。　　'O；'　it

appears；　is　the　French　for　hot…water。　　The　Colonel

（though　he　despises　it　heartily）　thinks　he　speaks　the

language　remarkably　well。　　Whilst　he　was　inhausting　his

smoking　tea；　which　went　rolling　and　gurgling　down　his

throat；　and　hissing　over　the　'hot　coppers'　of　that

respectable　veteran；　a　friend　joined　him；　with　a　wizened

face　and　very　black　wig；　evidently　a　Colonel　too。



The　two　warriors；　waggling　their　old　heads　at　each　other；

presently　joined　breakfast；　and　fell　into　conversation；

and　we　had　the　advantage　of　hearing　about　the　old　war；

and　some　pleasant　conjectures　as　to　the　next；　which　they

considered　imminent。　　They　psha'd　the　French　fleet；　they

pooh…pooh'd　the　French　commercial　marine；　they　showed

how；　in　a　war；　there　would　be　a　cordon　（'a　cordong；　by…

'）　of　steamers　along　our　coast；　and　'by　…；'　ready　at　a

minute　to　land　anywhere　on　the　other　shore；　to　give　the

French　as　good　a　thrashing　as　they　got　in　the　last　war；

'by　…'。　　In　fact；　a　rumbling　cannonade　of　oaths　was

fired　by　the　two　veterans　during　the　whole　of　their

conversation。



There　was　a　Frenchman　in　the　room；　but　as　he　had　not　been

above　ten　years　in　London；　of　course　he　did　not　speak　the

language；　and　lost　the　benefit　of　the　conversation。

'But；　O　my　country！'　said　I　to　myself；　it's　no　wonder

that　you　are　so　beloved！　　If　I　were　a　Frenchman；　how　I

would　hate　you！'



That　brutal；　ignorant；　peevish　bully　of　an　Englishman　is

showing　himself　in　every　city　of　Europe。　　One　of　the

dullest　creatures　under　heaven；　he　goes　travelling　Europe

under　foot；　shouldering　his　way　into　galleries　and

cathedrals；　and　bustling　into　palaces　with　his　buck…ram

uniform。　　At　church　or　theatre；　gala　or　picture…gallery；

HIS　face　never　varies。　　A　thousand　delightful　sights　pass

before　his　bloodshot　eyes；　and　don't　affect　him。

Countless　brilliant　scenes　of　life　and　manners　are　shown

him；　but　never　move　him。　　He　goes　to　church；　and　calls

the　practices　there　degrading　and　superstitious：　as　if

HIS　altar　was　the　only　one　that　was　acceptable。　　He　goes

to　picture…galleries；　and　is　more　ignorant　about　Art　than

a　French　shoeblack。　　Art；　Nature　pass；　and　there　is　no

dot　of　admiration　in　his　stupid　eyes：　nothing　moves　him；

except　when　a　very　great　man　comes　his　way；　and　then　the

rigid；　proud；　self…confident；　inflexible　British　Snob　can

be　as　humble　as　a　flunkey　and　as　supple　as　a　harlequin。







CHAPTER　XXIII



ENGLISH　SNOBS　ON　THE　CONTINENT



'WHAT　is　the　use　of　Lord　Rome's　telescope？'　my　friend

Panwiski　exclaimed　the　other　day。　　'It　only　enables　you

to　see　a　few　hundred　thousands　of　miles　farther。　　What

were　thought　to　be　mere　nebulae；　turn　out　to　be　most

perceivable　starry　systems；　and　beyond　these；　you　see

other　nebulae；　which　a　more　powerful　glass　will　show　to

be　stars；　again；　and　so　they　go　on　glittering　and　winking

away　into　eternity。'　　With　which　my　friend　Pan；　heaving　a

great　sigh；　as　if　confessing　his　inability　to　look

Infinity　in　the　face；　sank　back　resigned；　and　swallowed　a

large　bumper　of　claret。



I　（who；　like　other　great　men；　have　but　one　idea）；　thought

to　myself；　that　as　the　stars　are；　so　are　the　Snobs：the

more。　　you　gaze　upon　those　luminaries；　the　more　you

beholdnow　nebulously　congregatednow　faintly

distinguishablenow　brightly　defineduntil　they　twinkle

off　in　endless　blazes；　and　fade　into　the　immeasurable

darkness。　　I　am　but　as　a　child　playing　on　the　sea…shore。

Some　telescopic　philosopher　will　arise　one　day；　some

great　Snobonomer；　to　find　the　laws　of　the　great　science

which　we　are　now　merely　playing　with；　and　to　define；　and

settle；　and　classify　that　which　is　at　present　but　vague

theory；　and　loose　though　elegant　assertion。



Yes：　a　single　eye　can　but　trace　a　very　few　and　simple

varieties　of　the　enormous　universe　of　Snobs。　　I　sometimes

think　of　appealing　to　the　public；　and　calling　together　a

congress　of　SAVANS；　such　as　met　at　Southamptoneach　to

bring　his　contributions　and　read　his　paper　on　the　Great

Subject。　　For　what　can　a　single　poor　few　do；　even　with

the　subject　at　present　in　hand？　　English　Snobs　on　the

Continentthough　they　are　a　hundred　thousand　times　less

numerous　than　on　their　native　island；　yet　even　these　few

are　too　many。　　One　can　only　fix　a　stray　one　here　and

there。　　The　individuals　are　caughtthe　thousands　escape。

I　have　noted　down　but　three　whom　I　have　met　with　in　my

walk　this　morning　through　this　pleasant　marine　city　of

Boulogne。



There　is　the　English　Raff　Snob；　that　frequents　ESTAMINETS

and　CABARETS；　who　is　heard　yelling；　'We　won't　go　home

till　morning！'　and　startling　the　midnight　echoes　of　quiet

Continental　towns　with　shrieks　of　English　slang。　　The

boozy　unshorn　wretch　is　seen　hovering　round　quays　as

packets　arrive；　and　tippling　drains　in　inn　bars　where　he

gets　credit。　　He　talks　French　with　slang　familiarity：　he

and　his　like　quite　people　the　debt…prisons　on　the

Continent。　　He　plays　pool　at　the　billiard…houses；　and　may

be　seen　engaged　at　cards　and　dominoes　of　forenoons。　　His

signature　is　to　be　seen　on　countless　bills　of　exchange：

it　belonged　to　an　honourable　family　once；　very　likely；

for　the　English　Raff　most　probably　began　by　being　a

gentleman；　and　has　a　father　over　the　water　who　is　ashamed

to　hear　his　name。　　He　has　cheated　the　old　'governor'

repeatedly　in　better　days；　and　swindled　his　sisters　of

their　portions；　and　robbed　his　younger　brothers。　　Now　he

is　living　on　his　wife's　jointure：　she　is　hidden　away　in

some　dismal　garret；　patching　shabby　finery　and　cobbling

up　old　clothes　for　her　childrenthe　most　miserable　and

slatternly　of　women。



Or　sometimes　the　poor　woman　and　her　daughters　go　about

timidly；　giving　lessons　in　English　and　music；　or　do

embroidery　and　work　under…hand；　to　purchase　the　means　for

the　POT…AU…FEU；　while　Raff　is　swaggering　on　the　quay；　or

tossing　off　glasses　of　cognac　at　the　CAF？。　　The

unfortunate　creature　has　a　child　still　every　year；　and

her　constant　hypocrisy　is　to　try　and　make　her　girls

believe　that　their　father　is　a　respectable　man；　and　to

huddle　him　out　of　the　way　when　the　brute　comes　home

drunk。



Those　poor　ruined　souls　get　together　and　have　a　society

of　their　own；　the　which　it　is　very　affecting　to　watch

those　tawdry　pretences　at　gentility；　those　flimsy

attempts　at　gaiety：　those　woful　sallies：　that　jingling

old　piano；　oh；　it　m