the book of snobs-第14节

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Hugby　cried　when　Glenlivat　apologized；　if　the　young

nobleman　had　kicked　him　round　the　court；　I　believe　the

tutor　would　have　been　happy；　so　that　an　apology　and　a

reconciliation　might　subsequently　ensue。　　'My　lord；'　said

he；　'in　your　conduct　on　this　and　all　other　occasions；　you

have　acted　as　becomes　a　gentleman；　you　have　been　an

honour　to　the　University；　as　you　will　be　to　the　peerage；

I　am　sure；　when　the　amiable　vivacity　of　youth　is　calmed

down；　and　you　are　called　upon　to　take　your　proper　share

in　the　government　of　the　nation。'　　And　when　his　lordship

took　leave　of　the　University；　Hugby　presented　him　with　a

copy　of　his　'Sermons　to　a　Nobleman's　Family'　（Hugby　was

once　private　tutor　to　the　Sons　of　the　Earl　of

Muffborough）；　which　Glenlivat　presented　in　return　to　Mr。

William　Ramm；　known　to　the　fancy　as　the　Tutbury　Pet；　and

the　sermons　now　figure　on　the　boudoir…table　of　Mrs。　Ramm；

behind　the　bar　of　her　house　of　entertainment；　'The　Game

Cock　and　Spurs；'　near　Woodstock；　Oxon。



At　the　beginning　of　the　long　vacation；　Hugby　comes　to

town；　and　puts　up　in　handsome　lodgings　near　St。　James's

Square；　rides　in　the　Park　in　the　afternoon；　and　is

delighted　to　read　his　name　in　the　morning　papers　among

the　list　of　persons　present　at　Muffborough　House；　and　the

Marquis　of　Farintosh's　evening…parties。　　He　is　a　member

of　Sydney　Scraper's　Club；　where；　however；　he　drinks　his

pint　of　claret。



Sometimes　you　may　see　him　on　Sundays；　at　the　hour　when

tavern　doors　open；　whence　issue　little　girls　with　great

jugs　of　porter；　when　charity…boys　walk　the　streets；

bearing　brown　dishes　of　smoking　shoulders　of　mutton　and

baked　'taturs；　when　Sheeny　and　Moses　are　seen　smoking

their　pipes　before　their　lazy　shutters　in　Seven　Dials；

when　a　crowd　of　smiling　persons　in　clean　outlandish

dresses；　in　monstrous　bonnets　and　flaring　printed　gowns；

or　in　crumpled　glossy　coats　and　silks　that　bear　the

creases　of　the　drawers　where　they　have　lain　all　the　week；

file　down　High　Street；sometimes；　I　say；　you　may　see

Hugby　coming　out　of　the　Church　of　St。　Giles…in…the…

Fields；　with　a　stout　gentlewoman　leaning　on　his　arm；

whose　old　face　bears　an　expression　of　supreme　pride　and

happiness　as　she　glances　round　at　all　the　neighbours；　and

who　faces　the　curate　himself　and　marches　into　Holborn；

where　she　pulls　the　bell　of　a　house　over　which　is

inscribed；　'Hugby；　Haberdasher。'　　It　is　the　mother　of　the

Rev。　F。　Hugby；　as　proud　of　her　son　in　his　white　choker　as

Cornelia　of　her　jewels　at　Rome。　　That　is　old　Hugby

bringing　up　the　rear　with　the　Prayer…books；　and　Betsy

Hugby　the　old　maid；　his　daughter；old　Hugby；　Haberdasher

and　Church…warden。



In　the　front　room　upstairs；　where　the　dinner　is　laid　out；

there　is　a　picture　of　Muffborough　Castle；　of　the　Earl　of

Muffborough；　K。X。；　Lord…Lieutenant　for　Diddlesex；　an

engraving；　from　an　almanac；　of　Saint　Boniface　College；

Oxon；　and　a　sticking…plaster　portrait　of　Hugby　when

young；　in　a　cap　and　gown。　　A　copy　of　his　'Sermons　to　a

Nobleman's　Family'　is　on　the　bookshelf；　by　the　'Whole

Duty　of　Man；'　the　Reports　of　the　Missionary　Societies；

and　the　'Oxford　University　Calendar。'　　Old　Hugby　knows

part　of　this　by　heart；　every　living　belonging　to　Saint

Boniface；　and　the　name　of　every　tutor；　fellow；　nobleman；

and　undergraduate。



He　used　to　go　to　meeting　and　preach　himself；　until　his

son　took　orders；　but　of　late　the　old　gentleman　has　been

accused　of　Puseyism；　and　is　quite　pitiless　against　the

Dissenters。







CHAPTER　XV



ON　UNIVERSITY　SNOBS



I　should　like　to　fill　several　volumes　with　accounts　of

various　University　Snobs；　so　fond　are　my　reminiscences　of

them；　and　so　numerous　are　they。　　I　should　like　to　speak；

above　all；　of　the　wives　and　daughters　of　some　of　the

Professor…Snobs；　their　amusements；　habits；　jealousies；

their　innocent　artifices　to　entrap　young　men；　their

picnics；　concerts；　and　evening…parties。　　I　wonder　what

has　become　of　Emily　Blades；　daughter　of　Blades；　the

Professor　of　the　Mandingo　language？　　I　remember　her

shoulders　to　this　day；　as　she　sat　in　the　midst　of　a　crowd

of　about　seventy　young　gentlemen；　from　Corpus　and

Catherine　Hall；　entertaining　them　with　ogles　and　French

songs　on　the　guitar。　　Are　you　married；　fair　Emily　of　the

shoulders？　　What　beautiful　ringlets　those　were　that　used

to　dribble　over　them！what　a　waist！what　a　killing　sea…

green　shot…silk　gown！what　a　cameo；　the　size　of　a

muffin！　　There　were　thirty…six　young　men　of　the

University　in　love　at　one　time　with　Emily　Blades：　and　no

words　are　sufficient　to　describe　the　pity；　the　sorrow；

the　deep；　deep　commiserationthe　rage；　fury；　and

uncharitableness；　in　other　wordswith　which　the　Miss

Trumps　（daughter　of　Trumps；　the　Professor　of　Phlebotomy）

regarded　her；　because　she　DIDN'T　squint；　and　because　she

WASN'T　marked　with　the　small…pox。



As　for　the　young　University　Snobs；　I　am　getting　too　old；

now；　to　speak　of　such　very　familiarly。　　My　recollections

of　them　lie　in　the　far；　far　pastalmost　as　far　back　as

Pelham's　time。



We　THEN　used　to　consider　Snobs　raw…looking　lads；　who

never　missed　chapel；　who　wore　highlows　and　no　straps；　who

walked　two　hours　on　the　Trumpington　road　every　day　of

their　lives；　who　carried　off　the　college　scholarships；

and　who　overrated　themselves　in　hall。　　We　were　premature

in　pronouncing　our　verdict　of　youthful　Snobbishness　　The

man　without　straps　fulfilled　his　destiny　and　duty。　　He

eased　his　old　governor；　the　curate　in　Westmoreland；　or

helped　his　sisters　to　set　up　the　Ladies'　School。　　He

wrote　a　'Dictionary；'　or　a　'Treatise　on　Conic　Sections；'

as　his　nature　and　genius　prompted。　　He　got　a　fellowship：

and　then　took　to　himself　a　wife；　and　a　living。　　He

presides　over　a　parish　now；　and　thinks　it　rather　a

dashing　thing　to　belong　to　the　'Oxford　and　Cambridge

Club；'　and　his　parishioners　love　him；　and　snore　under　his

sermons。　　No；　no；　HE　is　not　a　Snob。　　It　is　not　straps

that　make　the　gentleman；　or　highlows　that　unmake　him；　be

they　ever　so　thick。　　My　son；　it　is　you　who　are　the　Snob

if　you　lightly　despise　a　man　for　doing　his　duty；　and

refuse　to　shake　an　honest　man's　hand　because　it　wears　a

Berlin　glove。



We　then　used　to　consider　it　not　the　least　vulgar　for　a

parcel　of　lads　who　had　been　whipped　three　months

previous；　and　were　not　allowed　more　than　three　glasses　of

port　at　home；　to　sit　down　to　pineapples　and　ices　at　each

other's　rooms；　and　fuddle　themselves　with　champagne　and

claret。



One　looks　back　to　what　was　called　a　'wine…party'　with　a

sort　of　wonder。　　Thirty　lads　round　a　table　covered　with

bad　sweetmeats；　drinking　bad　wines；　telling　bad　stories；

singing　bad　songs　over　and　over　again。　　Milk　punch

smokingghastly　headache　frightful　spectacle　of

dessert…table　next　morning；　and　smell　of　tobaccoyour

guardian；　the　clergyman；　dropping　in；　in　the　midst　of

thisexpecting　to　find　you　deep　in　Algebra；　and

discovering　the　Gyp　administering　soda…water。



There　were　young　men　who　despised　the　lads　who　indulged

in　the　coarse　hospitalities　of　wine…parties；　who　prided

themselves　in　giving　RECHERCHE　little　French　dinners。

Both　wine…party…givers　and　dinner…givers　were　Snobs。



There　were　what　used　to　be　called　'dressy'　Snobs：…　Jimmy；

who　might　be　seen　at　five　o'clock　elaborately　rigged　out；

with　a　camellia　in　his　button…hole；　glazed　boots；　and

fresh　kid…gloves　twice　a　day；Jessamy；　who　was

conspicuous　for　his　'jewellery；'a　young　donkey；

glittering　all　over　with　chains；　rings；　and　shirt…studs；…

…Jacky；　who　rode　every　day　solemnly　on　the　Blenheim　Road；

in　pumps　and　white　silk　stockings；　with　his　hair　curled；…

…all　three　of　whom　flattered　themselves　they　gave　laws　to

the　University　about　dressall　three　most　odious

varieties　of　Snobs。



Sporting　Snobs　of　course　there　were；　and　are　always

those　happy　beings　in　whom　Nature　has　implanted　a　love　of

slang：　who　loitered　about　the　horsekeeper's　stables；　and

drove　the　London　coachesa　stage　in　and　outand　might

be　seen　swaggering　through　the　courts　in　pink　of　early

mornings；　and　indulged　in　dice　and　blind…hookey　at

nights；　and　never　missed　a　race　or　a　boxing…match；　and

rode　flat…races；　and　kept　bull…terriers。　　Worse　Snobs

even　than　these　were　poor　miserable　wretches　who　did　not

like　hunting　at　all；　and　could　not　afford　it；　and　were　in

mortal　fear　at　a　two…foot　ditch；　but　who　hunted　because

Glenlivat　and　Cinqbars　hunted。　　The　Billiard　Snob　and　the

Boating　Snob　were　varieties　of　these；　and　are　to　be　found

elsewhere　than　in　universities。



Then　there　were　Philosophical　Snobs；　who　used　to　ape

statesmen　at　the　spouting…clubs；　and　who　believed　as　a

fact　that　Government　always　had　an　eye　on　the　University

for　the　selection　of　orators　for　the　House　of　Commons。

There　were　audacious　young　free…thinkers；　who　adored

nobody　or　nothing；　except　perhaps　Robespierre　and　the

Koran；　and　panted　for　the　day　when　the　pale　name　of

priest　should　shrink　and　dwindle　away　before　the

indignation　o