a hero of our time-第29节

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Perchance；　jealousy　will　accomplish　what　my　entreaties　have　failed　to　do。

I　stayed　a　whole　hour　at　Princess　Ligovski's。　Mary　has　not　been　out；　she　is　ill。　　In　the　evening　she　was　not　on　the　boulevard。　　The　newly　formed　gang；　armed　with　lorgnettes；　has　in　very　fact　assumed　a　menacing　aspect。　　I　am　glad　that　Princess　Mary　is　ill；　they　might　be　guilty　of　some　impertinence　towards　her。　　Grushnitski　goes　about　with　dishevelled　locks；　and　wears　an　appearance　of　despair：　he　is　evidently　afflicted；　as　a　matter　of　fact；　his　vanity　especially　has　been　injured。　　But；　you　see；　there　are　some　people　in　whom　even　despair　is　divert…　ing！　。　。　。

On　my　way　home　I　noticed　that　something　was　lacking。　　I　have　not　seen　her！　　She　is　ill！　　Surely　I　have　not　fallen　in　love　with　her　in　real　earnest？　。　。　。　　What　nonsense！



CHAPTER　XII

15th　June。

AT　eleven　o'clock　in　the　morning　　the　hour　at　which　Princess　Ligovski　is　usually　perspiring　in　the　Ermolov　baths　　I　walked　past　her　house。　Princess　Mary　was　sitting　pensively　at　the　window；　on　seeing　me　she　sprang　up。

I　entered　the　ante…room；　there　was　nobody　there；　and；　availing　myself　of　the　freedom　afforded　by　the　local　customs；　I　made　my　way；　unan…　nounced；　into　the　drawing…room。

Princess　Mary's　charming　countenance　was　shrouded　with　a　dull　pallor。　　She　was　standing　by　the　pianoforte；　leaning　one　hand　on　the　back　of　an　arm…chair；　her　hand　was　very　faintly　trembling。　　I　went　up　to　her　softly　and　said：

〃You　are　angry　with　me？〃　。　。　。

She　lifted　a　deep；　languid　glance　upon　me　and　shook　her　head。　　Her　lips　were　about　to　utter　something；　but　failed；　her　eyes　filled　with　tears；　she　sank　into　the　arm…chair　and　buried　her　face　in　her　hands。

〃What　is　the　matter　with　you？〃　I　said；　taking　her　hand。

〃You　do　not　respect　me！　。　。　。　　Oh；　leave　me！〃　。　。　。

I　took　a　few　steps。　。　。　　She　drew　herself　up　in　the　chair；　her　eyes　sparkled。

I　stopped　still；　took　hold　of　the　handle　of　the　door；　and　said：

〃Forgive　me；　Princess。　　I　have　acted　like　a　madman。　。　。　　It　will　not　happen　another　time；　I　shall　see　to　that。　。　。　　But　how　can　you　know　what　has　been　taking　place　hitherto　within　my　soul？　　That　you　will　never　learn；　and　so　much　the　better　for　you。　　Farewell。〃

As　I　was　going　out；　I　seemed　to　hear　her　weeping。

I　wandered　on　foot　about　the　environs　of　Mount　Mashuk　till　evening；　fatigued　myself　terribly　and；　on　arriving　home；　flung　myself　on　my　bed；　utterly　exhausted。

Werner　came　to　see　me。

〃Is　it　true；〃　he　asked；　〃that　you　are　going　to　marry　Princess　Mary？〃

〃What？〃

〃The　whole　town　is　saying　so。　　All　my　patients　are　occupied　with　that　important　piece　of　news；　but　you　know　what　these　patients　are：　they　know　everything。〃

〃This　is　one　of　Grushnitski's　tricks；〃　I　said　to　myself。

〃To　prove　the　falsity　of　these　rumours；　doctor；　I　may　mention；　as　a　secret；　that　I　am　moving　to　Kislovodsk　to…morrow〃　。　。　。

〃And　Princess　Mary；　too？〃

〃No；　she　remains　here　another　week〃　。　。　。

〃So　you　are　not　going　to　get　married？〃　。　。　。

〃Doctor；　doctor！　　Look　at　me！　　Am　I　in　the　least　like　a　bridegroom；　or　any　such　thing？〃

〃I　am　not　saying　so。　。　。　　But　you　know　there　are　occasions　。　。　。〃　he　added；　with　a　crafty　smile　　〃in　which　an　honourable　man　is　obliged　to　marry；　and　there　are　mothers　who；　to　say　the　least；　do　not　prevent　such　occasions。　。　。　　And　so；　as　a　friend；　I　should　advise　you　to　be　more　cautious。　　The　air　of　these　parts　is　very　dangerous。　How　many　handsome　young　men；　worthy　of　a　better　fate；　have　I　not　seen　departing　from　here　straight　to　the　altar！　。　。　。　　Would　you　believe　me；　they　were　even　going　to　find　a　wife　for　me！　That　is　to　say；　one　person　was　　a　lady　belonging　to　this　district；　who　had　a　very　pale　daughter。　　I　had　the　misfortune　to　tell　her　that　the　latter's　colour　would　be　restored　after　wedlock；　and　then　with　tears　of　gratitude　she　offered　me　her　daughter's　hand　and　the　whole　of　her　own　fortune　　fifty　souls；＇1＇　I　think。　　But　I　replied　that　I　was　unfit　for　such　an　honour。〃

＇1＇　i。e。　serfs。

Werner　left；　fully　convinced　that　he　had　put　me　on　my　guard。

I　gathered　from　his　words　that　various　ugly　rumours　were　already　being　spread　about　the　town　on　the　subject　of　Princess　Mary　and　myself：　Grushnitski　shall　smart　for　this！



CHAPTER　XIII

18th　June。

I　HAVE　been　in　Kislovodsk　three　days　now。　Every　day　I　see　Vera　at　the　well　and　out　walking。　　In　the　morning；　when　I　awake；　I　sit　by　my　window　and　direct　my　lorgnette　at　her　balcony。　　She　has　already　been　dressed　long　ago；　and　is　waiting　for　the　signal　agreed　upon。　We　meet；　as　though　unexpectedly；　in　the　garden　which　slopes　down　from　our　houses　to　the　well。　The　life…giving　mountain　air　has　brought　back　her　colour　and　her　strength。　　Not　for　nothing　is　Narzan　called　the　〃Spring　of　Heroes。〃　　The　inhabitants　aver　that　the　air　of　Kislovodsk　pre…　disposes　the　heart　to　love　and　that　all　the　romances　which　have　had　their　beginning　at　the　foot　of　Mount　Mashuk　find　their　consummation　here。　And；　in　very　fact；　everything　here　breathes　of　solitude；　everything　has　an　air　of　secrecy　　the　thick　shadows　of　the　linden　avenues；　bending　over　the　torrent　which　falls；　noisy　and　foaming；　from　flag　to　flag　and　cleaves　itself　a　way　between　the　mountains　now　becoming　clad　with　verdure　　the　mist…filled；　silent　ravines；　with　their　rami…　fications　straggling　away　in　all　directions　　the　freshness　of　the　aromatic　air；　laden　with　the　fragrance　of　the　tall　southern　grasses　and　the　white　acacia　　the　never…ceasing；　sweetly…slumber…　ous　babble　of　the　cool　brooks；　which；　meeting　at　the　end　of　the　valley；　flow　along　in　friendly　emulation；　and　finally　fling　themselves　into　the　Podkumok。　　On　this　side；　the　ravine　is　wider　and　becomes　converted　into　a　verdant　dell；　through　which　winds　the　dusty　road。　　Every　time　I　look　at　it；　I　seem　to　see　a　carriage　coming　along　and　a　rosy　little　face　looking　out　of　the　carriage…window。　　Many　carriages　have　already　driven　by　　but　still　there　is　no　sign　of　that　particular　one。　　The　village　which　lies　behind　the　fortress　has　become　populous。　　In　the　restaurant；　built　upon　a　hill　a　few　paces　distant　from　my　lodgings；　lights　are　beginning　to　flash　in　the　evening　through　the　double　row　of　poplars；　noise　and　the　jingling　of　glasses　resound　till　late　at　night。

In　no　place　are　such　quantities　of　Kakhetian　wine　and　mineral　waters　drunk　as　here。


　　　　　〃And　many　are　willing　to　mix　the　two；

　　　　　　　　　But　that　is　a　thing　I　never　do。〃


Every　day　Grushnitski　and　his　gang　are　to　be　found　brawling　in　the　inn；　and　he　has　almost　ceased　to　greet　me。

He　only　arrived　yesterday；　and　has　already　succeeded　in　quarrelling　with　three　old　men　who　were　going　to　take　their　places　in　the　baths　before　him。

Decidedly；　his　misfortunes　are　developing　a　warlike　spirit　within　him。



CHAPTER　XIV

22nd　June。

AT　last　they　have　arrived。　　I　was　sitting　by　the　window　when　I　heard　the　clattering　of　their　carriage。　　My　heart　throbbed。　。　。　　What　does　it　mean？　　Can　it　be　that　I　am　in　love？　。　。　。　I　am　so　stupidly　constituted　that　such　a　thing　might　be　expected　of　me。

I　dined　at　their　house。　　Princess　Ligovski　looked　at　me　with　much　tenderness；　and　did　not　leave　her　daughter's　side　。　。　。　a　bad　sign！　On　the　other　hand；　Vera　is　jealous　of　me　in　re…　gard　to　Princess　Mary　　however；　I　have　been　striving　for　that　good　fortune。　　What　will　not　a　woman　do　in　order　to　chagrin　her　rival？　　I　re…　member　that　once　a　woman　loved　me　simply　because　I　was　in　love　with　another　woman。　There　is　nothing　more　paradoxical　than　the　fe…　male　mind；　it　is　difficult　to　convince　a　woman　of　anything；　they　have　to　be　led　into　convincing　themselves。　　The　order　of　the　proofs　by　which　they　demolish　their　prejudices　is　most　original；　to　learn　their　dialectic　it　is　necessary　to　over…　throw　in　your　own　mind　every　scholastic　rule　of　logic。　　For　example；　the　usual　way：

〃This　man　loves　me；　but　I　am　married：　therefore　I　must　not　love　him。〃

The　woman's　way：

〃I　must　not　love　him；　because　I　am　married；　but　he　loves　me　　therefore〃　。　。　。

A　few　dots　here；　because　reason　has　no　more　to　say。　　But；　generally；　there　is　something　to　be　said　by　the　tongue；　and　the　eyes；　and；　after　these；　the　heart　　if　there　is　such　a　thing。

What　if　these　notes　should　one　day　meet　a　woman's　eye？

〃Slander！〃　she　will　exclaim　indignantly。

Ever　since　poets　have　written　and　women　have　read　them　（for　which　the　poets　should　be　most　deeply　grateful）　women　have　been　called　angels　so　many　times　that；　in　very　truth；　in　their　sim…　plicity　of　soul；　they　have　believed　the　compli…　ment；　forgetting　that；　for　money；　the　same　poets　have　glorified　Nero　as　a　demigod。　。　。

It　would　be　unreasonable　were　I　to　speak　of　women　with　such　malignity　　I　who　have　loved　nothing　else　in　the　world　　I　who　have　always　been　ready　to　sacrifice　for　their　sake　ease；　am…　bition；　life　itself。　。　。　　But；　you　see；　I　am　not　endeavouring；　in　a　fit　of　vexation　and　injured　vanity；　to　pluck　from　them　the　magic　veil　through　which　only　an　accustomed　glance　can　penetrate。　No；　all　that　I　say　about　them　is　but　the　result　of


　　　　　〃A　mind　which　coldly　hath　observed；

　　　　　　A　heart　which　bears　the　stamp　of　woe。〃＇1＇

＇1＇　Pushkin：　Eugene　Onyegin。

Women　ought　to　wish　that　all　men　knew　them　as　well　as　I　because　I　have　loved　them　a　hundred　ti