a hero of our time-第28节

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incess　Mary。

She　rose；　sat　down　beside　us；　and　brightened　up　。　。　。　and　it　was　only　at　two　o'clock　in　the　morning　that　we　remembered　that　the　doctors　had　ordered　her　to　go　to　bed　at　eleven。



CHAPTER　X

13th　June。

HALF　an　hour　before　the　ball；　Grushnitski　presented　himself　to　me　in　the　full　splendour　of　the　uniform　of　the　Line　infantry。　　Attached　to　his　third　button　was　a　little　bronze　chain；　on　which　hung　a　double　lorgnette。　　Epaulettes　of　incredible　size　were　bent　backwards　and　upwards　in　the　shape　of　a　cupid's　wings；　his　boots　creaked；　in　his　left　hand　he　held　cinnamon…　coloured　kid　gloves　and　a　forage…cap；　and　with　his　right　he　kept　every　moment　twisting　his　frizzled　tuft　of　hair　up　into　tiny　curls。　　Com…　placency　and　at　the　same　time　a　certain　diffi…　dence　were　depicted　upon　his　face。　　His　festal　appearance　and　proud　gait　would　have　made　me　burst　out　laughing；　if　such　a　proceeding　had　been　in　accordance　with　my　intentions。

He　threw　his　cap　and　gloves　on　the　table　and　began　to　pull　down　the　skirts　of　his　coat　and　to　put　himself　to　rights　before　the　looking…glass。　　An　enormous　black　handkerchief；　which　was　twisted　into　a　very　high　stiffener　for　his　cravat；　and　the　bristles　of　which　supported　his　chin；　stuck　out　an　inch　over　his　collar。　　It　seemed　to　him　to　be　rather　small；　and　he　drew　it　up　as　far　as　his　ears。　As　a　result　of　that　hard　work　　the　collar　of　his　uniform　being　very　tight　and　uncomfortable　　he　grew　red　in　the　face。

〃They　say　you　have　been　courting　my　princess　terribly　these　last　few　days？〃　he　said；　rather　carelessly　and　without　looking　at　me。

〃'Where　are　we　fools　to　drink　tea！'〃＇1＇　　I　answered；　repeating　a　pet　phrase　of　one　of　the　cleverest　rogues　of　past　times；　once　celebrated　in　song　by　Pushkin。

＇1＇　A　popular　phrase；　equivalent　to：　〃How　should　I　think　of　doing　such　a　thing？〃

〃Tell　me；　does　my　uniform　fit　me　well？　。　。　。　Oh；　the　cursed　Jew！　。　。　。　　How　it　cuts　me　under　the　armpits！　。　。　。　　Have　you　got　any　scent？〃

〃Good　gracious；　what　more　do　you　want？　You　are　reeking　of　rose　pomade　as　it　is。〃

〃Never　mind。　　Give　me　some〃　。　。　。

He　poured　half　a　phial　over　his　cravat；　his　pocket…handkerchief；　his　sleeves。

〃You　are　going　to　dance？〃　he　asked。

〃I　think　not。〃

〃I　am　afraid　I　shall　have　to　lead　off　the　mazurka　with　Princess　Mary；　and　I　scarcely　know　a　single　figure〃　。　。　。

〃Have　you　asked　her　to　dance　the　mazurka　with　you？〃

〃Not　yet〃　。　。　。

〃Mind　you　are　not　forestalled〃　。　。　。

〃Just　so；　indeed！〃　he　said；　striking　his　fore…　head。　　〃Good…bye。　。　。　　I　will　go　and　wait　for　her　at　the　entrance。〃

He　seized　his　forage…cap　and　ran。

Half　an　hour　later　I　also　set　off。　　The　street　was　dark　and　deserted。　　Around　the　assembly　rooms；　or　inn　　whichever　you　prefer　　people　were　thronging。　　The　windows　were　lighted　up；　the　strains　of　the　regimental　band　were　borne　to　me　on　the　evening　breeze。　　I　walked　slowly；　I　felt　melancholy。

〃Can　it　be　possible；〃　I　thought；　〃that　my　sole　mission　on　earth　is　to　destroy　the　hopes　of　others？　Ever　since　I　began　to　live　and　to　act；　it　seems　always　to　have　been　my　fate　to　play　a　part　in　the　ending　of　other　people's　dramas；　as　if；　but　for　me；　no　one　could　either　die　or　fall　into　despair！　　I　have　been　the　indispensable　person　of　the　fifth　act；　unwillingly　I　have　played　the　pitiful　part　of　an　executioner　or　a　traitor。　　What　object　has　fate　had　in　this？　。　。　。　　Surely；　I　have　not　been　appointed　by　destiny　to　be　an　author　of　middle…　class　tragedies　and　family　romances；　or　to　be　a　collaborator　with　the　purveyor　of　stories　　for　the　'Reader's　Library；'＇1＇　for　example？　。　。　。　　How　can　I　tell？　。　。　。　　Are　there　not　many　people　who；　in　beginning　life；　think　to　end　it　like　Lord　Byron　or　Alexander　the　Great；　and；　nevertheless；　remain　Titular　Councillors＇2＇　all　their　days？〃

＇1＇　Published　by　Senkovski；　and　under　the　censorship　of　the　Government。

＇2＇　Civil　servants　of　the　ninth　（the　lowest）　class。

Entering　the　saloon；　I　concealed　myself　in　a　crowd　of　men；　and　began　to　make　my　observa…　tions。

Grushnitski　was　standing　beside　Princess　Mary　and　saying　something　with　great　warmth。　　She　was　listening　to　him　absent…mindedly　and　looking　about　her；　her　fan　laid　to　her　lips。　　Impatience　was　depicted　upon　her　face；　her　eyes　were　searching　all　around　for　somebody。　　I　went　softly　behind　them　in　order　to　listen　to　their　conversation。

〃You　torture　me；　Princess！〃　Grushnitski　was　saying。　　〃You　have　changed　dreadfully　since　I　saw　you　last〃　。　。　。

〃You；　too；　have　changed；〃　she　answered；　casting　a　rapid　glance　at　him；　in　which　he　was　unable　to　detect　the　latent　sneer。

〃I！　　Changed？　。　。　。　　Oh；　never！　　You　know　that　such　a　thing　is　impossible！　　Whoever　has　seen　you　once　will　bear　your　divine　image　with　him　for　ever。〃

〃Stop〃　。　。　。

〃But　why　will　you　not　let　me　say　to…night　what　you　have　so　often　listened　to　with　con…　descension　　and　just　recently；　too？〃　。　。　。

〃Because　I　do　not　like　repetitions；〃　she　answered；　laughing。

〃Oh！　　I　have　been　bitterly　mistaken！　。　。　。　I　thought；　fool　that　I　was；　that　these　epaulettes；　at　least；　would　give　me　the　right　to　hope。　。　。　No；　it　would　have　been　better　for　me　to　have　remained　for　ever　in　that　contemptible　soldier's　cloak；　to　which；　probably；　I　was　indebted　for　your　attention〃　。　。　。

〃As　a　matter　of　fact；　the　cloak　is　much　more　becoming　to　you〃　。　。　。

At　that　moment　I　went　up　and　bowed　to　Princess　Mary。　　She　blushed　a　little；　and　went　on　rapidly：

〃Is　it　not　true；　Monsieur　Pechorin；　that　the　grey　cloak　suits　Monsieur　Grushnitski　much　better？〃　。　。　。

〃I　do　not　agree　with　you；〃　I　answered：　〃he　is　more　youthful…looking　still　in　his　uniform。〃

That　was　a　blow　which　Grushnitski　could　not　bear：　like　all　boys；　he　has　pretensions　to　being　an　old　man；　he　thinks　that　the　deep　traces　of　passions　upon　his　countenance　take　the　place　of　the　lines　scored　by　Time。　　He　cast　a　furious　glance　at　me；　stamped　his　foot；　and　took　himself　off。

〃Confess　now；〃　I　said　to　Princess　Mary：　〃that　although　he　has　always　been　most　ridiculous；　yet　not　so　long　ago　he　seemed　to　you　to　be　inter…　esting　。　。　。　in　the　grey　cloak？〃　。　。　。

She　cast　her　eyes　down　and　made　no　reply。

Grushnitski　followed　the　Princess　about　during　the　whole　evening　and　danced　either　with　her　or　vis…a…vis。　　He　devoured　her　with　his　eyes；　sighed；　and　wearied　her　with　prayers　and　reproaches。　After　the　third　quadrille　she　had　begun　to　hate　him。

〃I　did　not　expect　this　from　you；〃　he　said；　coming　up　to　me　and　taking　my　arm。

〃What？〃

〃You　are　going　to　dance　the　mazurka　with　her？〃　he　asked　in　a　solemn　tone。　　〃She　ad…　mitted　it〃　。　。　。

〃Well；　what　then？　　It　is　not　a　secret；　is　it〃？*

〃Of　course　not。　。　。　　I　ought　to　have　expected　such　a　thing　from　that　chit　　that　flirt。　。　。　　I　will　have　my　revenge；　though！〃

〃You　should　lay　the　blame　on　your　cloak；　or　your　epaulettes；　but　why　accuse　her？　　What　fault　is　it　of　hers　that　she　does　not　like　you　any　longer？〃　。　。　。

〃But　why　give　me　hopes？〃

〃Why　did　you　hope？　　To　desire　and　to　strive　after　something　　that　I　can　understand！　　But　who　ever　hopes？〃

〃You　have　won　the　wager；　but　not　quite；〃　he　said；　with　a　malignant　smile。

The　mazurka　began。　　Grushnitski　chose　no　one　but　the　Princess；　other　cavaliers　chose　her　every　minute：　obviously　a　conspiracy　against　me　　all　the　better！　　She　wants　to　talk　to　me；　they　are　preventing　her　　she　will　want　to　twice　as　much。

I　squeezed　her　hand　once　or　twice；　the　second　time　she　drew　it　away　without　saying　a　word。

〃I　shall　sleep　badly　to…night；〃　she　said　to　me　when　the　mazurka　was　over。

〃Grushnitski　is　to　blame　for　that。〃

〃Oh；　no！〃

And　her　face　became　so　pensive；　so　sad；　that　I　promised　myself　that　I　would　not　fail　to　kiss　her　hand　that　evening。

The　guests　began　to　disperse。　　As　I　was　handing　Princess　Mary　into　her　carriage；　I　rapidly　pressed　her　little　hand　to　my　lips。　　The　night　was　dark　and　nobody　could　see。

I　returned　to　the　saloon　very　well　satisfied　with　myself。

The　young　men；　Grushnitski　amongst　them；　were　having　supper　at　the　large　table。　　As　I　came　in；　they　all　fell　silent：　evidently　they　had　been　talking　about　me。　　Since　the　last　ball　many　of　them　have　been　sulky　with　me；　especially　the　captain　of　dragoons；　and　now；　it　seems；　a　hostile　gang　is　actually　being　formed　against　me；　under　the　command　of　Grushnitski。　　He　wears　such　a　proud　and　courageous　air。　。　。

I　am　very　glad；　I　love　enemies；　though　not　in　the　Christian　sense。　　They　amuse　me；　stir　my　blood。　　To　be　always　on　one's　guard；　to　catch　every　glance；　the　meaning　of　every　word；　to　guess　intentions；　to　crush　conspiracies；　to　pretend　to　be　deceived　and　suddenly　with　one　blow　to　over…　throw　the　whole　immense　and　laboriously　con…　structed　edifice　of　cunning　and　design　　that　is　what　I　call　life。

During　supper　Grushnitski　kept　whispering　and　exchanging　winks　with　the　captain　of　dragoons。



CHAPTER　XI

14th　June。

VERA　and　her　husband　left　this　morning　for　Kislovodsk。　　I　met　their　carriage　as　I　was　walking　to　Princess　Ligovski's。　　Vera　nodded　to　me：　reproach　was　in　her　glance。

Who　is　to　blame；　then？　　Why　will　she　not　give　me　an　opportunity　of　seeing　her　alone？　　Love　is　like　fire　　if　not　fed　it　dies　out。　　Perchance；　jealousy　will　accomplish　what　my　entreaties　have　failed　to　do。

I　stayed　a　whole　hour　a