brokeback mountain-第6节
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they'd never got much farther than that。 Let be； let be。
Ennis didn't know about the accident for months until his postcard to Jack saying that November still looked like the first chance came back stamped DECEASED。 He called Jack's number in Childress； something he had done only once before when Alma divorced him and Jack had misunderstood the reason for the call； had driven twelve hundred miles north for nothing。 This would be all right； Jack would answer； had to answer。 But he did not。 It was Lureen and she said who？ who is this？ and when he told her again she said in a level voice yes； Jack was pumping up a flat on the truck out on a back road when the tire blew up。 The bead was damaged somehow and the force of the explosion slammed the rim into his face； broke his nose and jaw and knocked him unconscious on his back。 By the time someone came along he had drowned in his own blood。
No； he thought； they got him with the tire iron。
〃Jack used to mention you；〃 she said。 〃You're the fishing buddy or the hunting buddy； I know that。 Would have let you know；〃 she said； 〃but I wasn't sure about your name and address。 Jack kept most a his friends' addresses in his head。 It was a terrible thing。 He was only thirty…nine years old。〃The huge sadness of the northern plains rolled down on him。 He didn't know which way it was； the tire iron or a real accident； blood choking down Jack's throat and nobody to turn him over。 Under the wind drone he heard steel slamming off bone； the hollow chatter of a settling tire rim。
〃He buried down there？〃 He wanted to curse her for letting Jack die on the dirt road。
The little Texas voice came slip…sliding down the wire。 〃We put a stone up。 He use to say he wanted to be cremated； ashes scattered on Brokeback Mountain。 I didn't know where that was。 So he was cremated； like he wanted； and like I say； half his ashes was interred here； and the rest I sent up to his folks。 I thought Brokeback Mountain was around where he grew up。 But knowing Jack； it might be some pretend place where the bluebirds sing and there's a whiskey spring。〃〃We herded sheep on Brokeback one summer；〃 said Ennis。 He could hardly speak。
〃Well； he said it was his place。 I thought he meant to get drunk。 Drink whiskey up there。 He drank a lot。〃〃His folks still up in Lightnin Flat？〃
〃Oh yeah。 They'll be there until they die。 I never met them。 They didn't e down for the funeral。 You get in touch with them。 I suppose they'd appreciate it if his wishes was carried out。〃No doubt about it； she was polite but the little voice was cold as snow。
The road to Lightning Flat went through desolate country past a dozen abandoned ranches distributed over the plain at eight… and ten…mile intervals； houses sitting blank…eyed in the weeds； corral fences down。 The mailbox read John C。 Twist。 The ranch was a meagre little place； leafy spurge taking over。 The stock was too far distant for him to see their condition； only that they were black baldies。 A porch stretched across the front of the tiny brown stucco house； four rooms； two down； two up。
Ennis sat at the kitchen table with Jack's father。 Jack's mother； stout and careful in her movements as though recovering from an operation； said； 〃Want some coffee； don't you？ Piece a cherry cake？〃〃Thank you； ma'am； I'll take a cup a coffee but I can't eat no cake just now。〃The old man sat silent； his hands folded on the plastic tablecloth； staring at Ennis with an angry； knowing expression。 Ennis recognized in him a not unmon type with the hard need to be the stud duck in the pond。 He couldn't see much of Jack in either one of them； took a breath。
〃I feel awful bad about Jack。 Can't begin to say how bad I feel。 I knew him a long time。 I e by to tell you that if you want me to take his ashes up there on Brokeback like his wife says he wanted I'd be proud to。〃There was a silence。 Ennis cleared his throat but said nothing more。
The old man said； 〃Tell you what； I know where Brokeback Mountain is。 He thought he was too goddamn special to be buried in the family plot。〃Jack's mother ignored this； said； 〃He used a e home every year； even after he was married and down in Texas； and help his daddy on the ranch for a week fix the gates and mow and all。 I kept his room like it was when he was a boy and I think he appreciated that。 You are wele to go up in his room if you want。〃The old man spoke angrily。 〃I can't get no help out here。 Jack used a say； 'Ennis del Mar；' he used a say； 'I'm goin a bring him up here one a these days and we'll lick this damn ranch into shape。' He had some half…baked idea the two a you was goin a move up here； build a log cabin and help me run this ranch and bring it up。 Then； this spring he's got another one's goin a e up here with him and build a place and help run the ranch； some ranch neighbor a his from down in Texas。 He's goin a split up with his wife and e back here。 So he says。 But like most a Jack's ideas it never e to pass。〃So now he knew it had been the tire iron。 He stood up； said； you bet he'd like to see Jack's room； recalled one of Jack's stories about this old man。 Jack was dick…clipped and the old man was not； it bothered the son who had discovered the anatomical disconformity during a hard scene。 He had been about three or four； he said； always late getting to the toilet； struggling with buttons； the seat； the height of the thing and often as not left the surroundings sprinkled down。 The old man blew up about it and this one time worked into a crazy rage。 〃Christ； he licked the stuffin out a me； knocked me down on the bathroom floor； whipped me with his belt。 I thought he was killin me。 Then he says； 'You want a know what it's like with piss all over the place？ I'll learn you；' and he pulls it out and lets go all over me； soaked me； then he throws a towel at me and makes me mop up the floor； take my clothes off and warsh them in the bathtub； warsh out the towel； I'm bawlin and blubberin。 But while he was hosin me down I seen he had some extra material that I was missin。 I seen they'd cut me different like you'd crop a ear or scorch a brand。 No way to get it right with him after that。〃The bedroom； at the top of a steep stair that had its own climbing rhythm； was tiny and hot； afternoon sun pounding through the west window； hitting the narrow boy's bed against the wall； an ink…stained desk and wooden chair； a b。b。 gun in a hand…whittled rack over the bed。 The window looked down on the gravel road stretching south and it occurred to him that for his growing…up years that was the only road Jack knew。 An ancient magazine photograph of some dark…haired movie star was taped to the wall beside the bed； the skin tone gone magenta。 He could hear Jack's mother downstairs running water； filling the kettle and setting it back on the stove； asking the old man a muffled question。
The closet was a shallow cavity with a wooden rod braced across； a faded cretonne curtain on a string closing it off from the rest of the room。 In the closet hung two pairs of jeans crease…ironed and folded neatly over wire hangers； on the floor a pair of worn packer boots he thought he remembered。 At the north end of the closet a tiny jog in the wall made a slight hiding place and here； stiff with long suspension from a nail； hung a shirt。 He lifted it off the nail。 Jack's old shirt from Brokeback days。 The dried blood on the sleeve was his own blood； a gushing nosebleed on the last afternoon on the mountain when Jack； in their contortionistic grappling and wrestling； had slammed Ennis's nose hard with his knee。 He had staunched the blood which was everywhere； all over both of them； with his shirtsleeve； but the staunching hadn't held because Ennis had suddenly swung from the deck and laid the ministering angel out in the wild columbine； wings folded。
The shirt seemed heavy until he saw there was another shirt inside it； the sleeves carefully worked down inside Jack's sleeves。 It was his own plaid shirt； lost； he'd thought； long ago in some damn laundry； his dirty shirt； the pocket ripped； buttons missing； stolen by Jack and hidden here inside Jack's own shirt； the pair like two skins； one inside the other； two in one。 He pressed his face into the fabric and breathed in slowly through his mouth and nose； hoping for the faintest smoke and mountain sage and salty sweet stink of Jack but there was no real scent； only the memory of it； the imagined power of Brokeback Mountain of which nothing was left but what he held in his hands。
In the end the stud duck refused to let Jack's ashes go。 〃Tell you what； we got a family plot and he's goin in it。〃 Jack's mother stood at the table coring apples with a sharp； serrated instrument。 〃You e again；〃 she said。
Bumping down the washboard road Ennis passed the country cemetery fenced with sagging sheep wire； a tiny fenced square on the welling prairie； a few graves bright with plastic flowers； and didn't want to know Jack was going in there； to be buried on the grieving plain。
A few weeks later on the Saturday he threw all Stoutamire's dirty horse blankets into the back of his pickup and took them down to the Quik Stop Car Wash to turn the high…pressure spray on them。 When the wet clean bla
